Secrets, secrets are no fun
by Rixxan
Summary: Deidara never should have blown the hole in that wall... now that it's 50 chapters in... the first few chapters suck please forgive them
1. Fire in the wall

**Alrighty. This is Secrets, Secrets are no fun and if you don't like oc's I hope I can change your mind.**

**Anyway…I was watching Naruto and got an idea! You wanna know that idea?**

**Well ya can't. Unless you read!**

**Disclaimer: I own…well…me. The author is owned by the author. Isn't that wonderful? Everything else is…well…not mine. EXCEPT the o.c… you will learn her name soon.**

A thud came from the wall next to the couch Deidara was sitting on.

"Itachi, your rodent friends are calling." Deidara joked to the weasel-named-emo one miles and miles away from him at that point in time… "Itachi? Kisame? Aw, come on. Anybody? It's my second day back here and I already have to blow the place up? Not fair,un… ANYBODY HERE?!"

"Tobi is here…" Tobi said peeking out of his room with his eyeless mask of doom.

"…that's no better than a pencil with no tip." Deidara bit his lip, clearly annoyed with the fact he'd actually have to get rid of a bunch of stupid rats just because everyone else was too busy/stupid to do it themselves.

_DAMN THOSE RATS! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I USE MY ART TO BLOW THEIR ASSES TO HELL!?IT'S A HORRIBLE SACRFICE!!!! IT'S NOT FAIR! …oh well!_

Deidara tossed one of his bomb-birds at the wall, and did his little "Katsu!" thing. The bottom of the wall flew every where, and a black backpack slid out of the wall. Deidara paid it no notice for three or four seconds.

"What the hell?" Deidara jumped up and stared with his one eye at the backpack that had just fallen…well…quite literally…out of the wall. "TOBI IS THIS YOUR BACKPACK!?" Deidara yelled to Tobi, who would _clearly_ hear him in his room 20 feet away, and picked up the backpack.

…_This could be the time for some blackmail…_

"Tobi is needed?" Tobi asked.

"N-nothing. It's nothing." Deidara said and plopped himself down on the couch to examine the contents of this strange little backpack. Unzipping the zipper, he looked inside the backpack, to see a layer of a bunch of pencils staring him in the face. "…pencils? Stranger yet… _sketching_ pencils? I didn't know Tobi had any appreciation whatsoever for art…" Deidara looked over to Tobi's room and dismissed the idea quickly. He reached into the backpack, pulling out a book. "Oohoho! What do we have here!?" Deidara quickly opened the book.

It wasn't a book.

"…okay this isn't anyone in Akatsukis sketch book unless I secretly have a life I don't know about." Deidara said to himself skimming the pictures of the sketch book. Deidara looked back to the wall.

_Was some artist living here before Akatsuki arrived?_

A shoe fell out of the wall. Not just any shoe. A modern, black flat.

"Tobi…can you come out here…" Deidara ask/said uneasily, quite weirded out that stuff was just randomly falling out of the wall.

"Tobi will come out later. Not now."

"T-tobi…" Deidara, said now somewhat paranoid.

"Tobi said later he will come out. Good night Deidara-sama." Tobi's door closed fully, and Deidara now sat frozen in a state of shock, which is really quite stupid for someone of his rank and ability. ( for an s-rank ninja, you'd think they wouldn't be scared of a little bit of stuff falling out of the wall…eh…everyone has a weakness… ) So what would a Deidara do at this point? Would he do anything at all? Maybe? Yes? No?

**Naw. **

**Deidara's a chicken::mimicks::  
Right, that's all for chapter one (refined as of 12-22-07). Review or die! n.n**


	2. End normality

WOW. Three reviews in like half an hour! OMG I'M LUVD::cries happily:: Right then, well…who wants chapter two? Come on! Jump for it::holds chapter two up high in the air:: Come on people jump! Heh…just kidding. Well here's your chapter! 

So Deidara sat there… and begun to shake. He looked down at the sketch book in his lap, then turned the page that he was on, a picture of a turtle O.o…, and stared down at the next page. He closed shut the little sketch book after a few seconds, then ripped it back open to the page he was just on.

It was a sketch of all the Akatsuki members. (it's a fanfic so tobi's there too. Deal with it bitches. Kya! )From left to right, it went the leader, in all of leader-persons shadowy-identity-unknown-ness, that guy who's name no one can remember, (at least not me) Itachi, Kakuzu, Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi, Kisame, Sasori, Hidan, and… Deidara's making a guess here, Orochimaru with a devil face and horns drawn onto his face with bold black ink, which made Deidara almost break out laughing in his frightened-half-to-death state of mind. He turned his head back to the wall where the stuff was randomly falling from, by now, two shoes were on the ground, along with a few hairbands… Deidara now being officially creeped out. He walked over to the wall shakily and, slowly and cautiously, looked into the broken wall.

**FWOOM!!!**

Something slightly heavier than shoes fell down right onto Deidara's face…brutally maiming his purdy blonde hair. (hehe.)

"What the hell!?" Deidara took a few steps backwards and shook his hair out of the dust that was in it, then did a little hair flip thing and fixed it into place. He looked back over to the wall. "You've got to be kidding me." Deidara walked over to what had fallen out of the wall. "How the hell did you get in here?" Deidara said to the shaking pile of rubble.

"Pleasedon'tblowmeupIswearI'lldoanythingyouwantjustdon'tkillmepleasepleaseplease!" The… pile… of… rubble… said?

(That can't be right. It is? Whoa! Right then. On with the chapter)

"…why shouldn't I just blow you two a million pieces then?"

"…cuz."

"Cuz why?"

"…cuz…that's…not nice?" The pile of rubble fell apart to reveal a shaking little blue-with-purple-tipped-hair girl…who somehow managed to get herself trapped in the wall… unhuh… (I'll call her Purple 'til I tell you her name so that's what I'm talking bout when I say purple looked purple jumped purple glomped and so on and so forth…) Dressed in a black skin-tight jacket zipped up over a blue shirt with lots of glitter and sparkles on it (!!!!) and a black skirt just above the knees, followed by black leg tattoos that seemed like spirals and squiggles tracing down to her ankles where they ended in a full circle around the ankle joint, looking somewhat like a chain. Of course, her shoes were somewhere under the pile of rubble created from Deidara blowing the hole in the wall

"…alright I'm confused so I'll just kill you quickly and go back to rea-that's your sketch book isn't it?" Deidara's art-loving mind raced back to the sketch book. Purple nodded her head quickly and curled her legs up to her chest, believing Deidara would blow her up in seconds.

"It's really good." Deidara smiled and grabbed the sketch book off the couch and handed it back to her. A slight smile broke onto Purple's face.

"Too bad I'm gonna kill you." Deidara pulled a kunai out of the back of the couch and stabbed it straight into the girl's neck.

Odd thing was…

She didn't even flinch.

**ALRIGHTY! There's chapter two for y'all so enjoy that okay? **  
**AND REVIEW OR DIE APPLIES ONCE MORE.**


	3. Homecoming

**ROARS. Okay so just a little time run-through for you all. This is taking place a few months before the series officially starts so… yeah. OH! Tobi is part of Akatsuki cuz I say so BITCH! BWAHA. Anyway yeah so time for chappie three WHEW I'm rolling through these chapters like thunder in the mountains! O.O THAT'S A REALLY GOOD SIMILE! THANK YOU ENGLISH CLASS! **

Deidara looked down at Purple… who should have been dead by now. A small trickle of blood came from where the kunai was placed in her neck.

A hand came up and ripped the kunai out of her neck. The bleeding slowed even more than it was, and her neck fully healed over.

"Did you think that would KILL me?" She looked up at Deidara with almost-black eyes, and Deidara, right about now, had a look of OMGWTF on his face. Purple smiled and patted Deidara on the head, who is obviously much older than her, and he fell backwards onto his ass.

"H-how come you're not dead?"

"I'd like to know that as well…" Purple said rubbing her neck where the kunai was, then handed it back to Deidara, " let's try one more time aim right for my heart," she said and pointed to her heart. Deidara now looked at her like DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL YOU? He shrugged and jabbed the kunai straight into her chest, where someone's heart is. She looked up at him like OMG I'M ALIVE and pulled the kunai out of her. Deidara smirked, realizing he'd totally get a bonus for having _found_ someone so valuable. Getting up slowly, Deidara held out his hand for her to take. Instead, Purple jumped up and brushed herself off.

"By the way, what's your name?" Deidara asked and looked at the girl, who stood about 4'9, looking to be around 11ish years old or so. Purple quietly thought for a few seconds.

"That's a question I haven't heard in years, you gotta give me a few seconds… she moved her hands up to her temples and looked like someone having some serious mental blockage right about now…, "Mmk, I got it, my name is Xeala. I don't have a last name to the extent of my knowledge, so… good luck on that one." (pronounced zee-la)

"Xeala, hunh?" Deidara turned around and plopped onto the couch, pulling his own sketch book out of his cloak, " hey can I borrow a pencil?" Deidara asked, and Xeala handed a pencil to him, then hopped onto the couch next to him and started to sketch as well.

**A few long long long hours later…**

"Deidara, Tobi, We're back…" Kisame said and walked into the large room with a hole in it, followed by a silent Itachi. Itachi was staring down at the floor, and Kisame walked almost through the room.

"Hey Itachi, hey Kisame…" both Deidara and Xeala said at the same time. Itachi looked up and glared at Deidara.

"Deidara."

"Yeeees Itachi?"

"What is _that_?"

"What is what? The hole in the wall?"

"No."

Itachi walked over to the couch and picked up Xeala by her waist-length hair and lifted her off the ground with a kunai to her neck.

"This."

"Oh that, that's a Xeala, and Xeala won't die if you do that though."

"Heh?" Itachi said, almost slightly confused. Almost, slightly.

"It's okay Itachi, slit my throat and see what happens." Xeala said almost contently from the air, where it must have felt like her hair was being ripped out of her scalp slowly and painfully. Itachi dragged the kunai across the young girl's neck. A slightly-larger-than-before trickle of blood followed directly after the kunai, and Itachi looked at her neck with a horrified… er… as horrified as Itachi gets look.

"Can I go back to sketching with Deidara now?" She asked Itachi with an Are-you-QUITE-done look on her face. Itachi threw her against the wall and walked out of the room. Kisame stood there staring like that didn't just happen, did it? He blinked, then shook his head and walked out of the room as well.

"I think that went rather well." Deidara nodded and continued sketching. Xeala got up off the floor from where she was thrown against the concrete of the wall and walked a few dizzy steps, then face-planted onto the floor. Deidara anime-veined and continued sketching.

**Fifteen minutes later…**

Itachi walked back into the room with a fairly large shuriken.

"You come now." Itachi motioned to Xeala, who sighed and walked over. Itachi pointed to the couch. Xeala sat down on the couch. Itachi jabbed the shuriken into her from many different angles, someone seriously woke up on the wrong side of the cave this morning… hehe… cuz weasels... they… aw never mind… after about five minutes of trying to brutally maim her, Itachi pulled out his sword and slashed an X across her front. He looked slightly pleased for a millisecond, before the skin healed over. Xeala looked down at her now destroyed shirt.

"I hope you have another shirt for me cuz this ones completely destroyed thanks to you, Mr. Weasel-man." Xeala said and smirked at Itachi, waiting for him to just randomly apologize and pull a shirt out. As if. Itachi walked out of the room once more.

**Alright then well time for the end of the chapter. DUNDUN dundunddunDunDUN. Alrighty review people come on you know you want to!**


	4. Pein

**Alright nothing to say really, here's the chappie.  
**  
"Deidara?"

"Mmm?" Deidara looked up from his sketching.

"Does Itachi hate me?"

"No, he's mad he can't kill you easily."

"OH."

"Yeah…he's quite simple really."

"Mm… I know."

"…how do you know actually? That's a question I've been meaning to ask for a while."

"I seriously have no clue."

"…riiiiight then."

"Can I have a shirt?"

"…umm…well…all of our shirts…are…uh…well…" Deidara pulled the top of his cloak down slightly to reveal the fish-net shirt underneath.

"…oh." Xeala sat there quietly for a while.

"Hey Deidara?"

"Yea?"

"Do you have a needle and thread? And possibly an extra cloak thing like that?"

"Sure…" Deidara poofed away and back momentarily and handed her the needle, thread, and extra cloak. (what you didn't think they only have one cloak did you?!)

"YES BWAHAHA!" And thus, Xeala set to work on creating whatever she was creating.

**45 minutes later…**

"IT'S FINISHED!" Xeala held up a sleeveandstrap-less shirt, most likely to be worn with the fishnet shirt thing. The shirt was black, no duh, with a single Akatsuki red cloud in the middle on the front. And judging from how big it was, it was mid-cut.

( so…yea…if you wanna see what it looks like, I'll hopefully have a picture up on my DeviantART account sometime soon… hopefully. And thus you can actually see what she looks like. Prolly a bit more helpful ey?)

"Oh Deidara!"

"::twitch:: Yesss…"

"Do you have a really super small fishnet shirt thingy?"

"…I don't…"

"Awz…"

"Do you seriously need one?" Deidara asked tiredly.

"Yeahz…"

"…Itachi's actually most likely the closest person to your… height."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME SHORT!?"

"…no…just…young…-er."

"Yeah you better be. ::twitch::"

" ::twitch:: well…go ask Itachi for a shirt then…::animesweatdrop::"

"Fine I will."

Xeala got up and walked down towards the hallway everyone else had walked down. Five seconds later, she popped her head back into the room where Deidara was.

"Fatty." Xeala said and ran off into Itachi's room stupidly.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Itachi screamed.

"Oh! You're in a good mood today aren't you!" Xeala asked and walked over to his dresser.

"GET AWAY FROM THERE NOW!" Itachi held up four kunais, one in each of the gaps between his fingers, ready to throw at any second.

"You throw those they'll fall right out of my skin." Xeala said and looked at the dresser, assessing where Itachi might put shirts. She decided against guessing and just randomly opened a drawer.

"OMG P.J'S!!" She squealed and pulled out a pair of… well… Itachi's P.J's. A.K.A…for most guys… lounge pants. She stuffed the pj's into her recently recovered backpack.

"PUT THE P.J'S DOWN." Itachi tackled her from his bed, sat on her back, pulled her arms over her head, and held a kunai around the front of her throat. "Give me the P.J's now."

"In…backpack…"

Itachi turned his head and knocked the backpack over with his foot. (ew weasel foot.)

"Now what did you even _dare_ come into my room for?" Itachi said, looking like he was just about ready to use his little Mangekyou Sharingan and torture the little bitch for days. (OMFG I SPELLED IT RIGHT! WOO!)

"Need super small fishnet."

"Is that so?"

"Yeaz."

"Why?"

"Cuz you sliced my shirt up and I had to make a new one but that new one needs to have a fishnet under it to look good."

"And what if I don't give you the fishnet?"

"You'll never see the light of day again." Xeala said in a rather odd tone of voice.

"…unhuh."

"You already know I can't die. You, on the other hand, can." Xeala smirked and looked backwards out of the corner of her eye.

"…I'm only giving you this shirt on a whim. I could kill you right now. But I won't." Itachi said slightly uneasily.

"Now do you mind getting your ass off me?"

"?????"

"YOUR SITTING ON ME YA WEASEL."

"You are extremely amusing. It seems you love to be the center of attention. Now what would happen if that attention was taken from you?" Itachi whispered into her ear. "You would cry. You would be all alone and scared, and you would cry like the little baby you are."

"Shut. Up."

"Face it. You're a little insignificant _speck_ in this world. No one cares about you. They just seem like they do. You know that as well as anyone does."

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up!" Xeala said and got her knees underneath her, then fell over backwards, smashing Itachi under her back. And…considering the way Itachi was sitting on her… that wouldn't be too comfortable for a guy… if you get my point. ::winkwink:: Anyway.

Itachi winced slightly and rolled over on his side. Xeala got up and brushed herself off, then began shoving her belongings back into her backpack, along with two pairs of Itachi's P.J's. Xeala then opened a drawer and pulled a few fishnets out of it.

calling Itachi a weasel. BWAHA. Haha. Ha. Itachi sighed and walked back out of the room.

"Don't fuck with me, weasel-shit." Xeala said and walked out of the room with her nose in the air, and fishnet in hand.

**WHEW I'm on the ball today! It's 1:02 am over here how and I'm writing like the wind still! Alright, next chapter coming, talk to you guys then! **


	5. Onward to Konoha!

**Okay so this started exactly 4 weeks before the Series start. Tada. Right well… seeing as once more I'm at a loss of words… TIME FOR CHAPPIE!!**

"DEIDARA!? DEIDARA ARE YOU THERE?!" Xeala asked and looked around the seemingly endless forest. No sign of Deidara. "Oh come on, I don't wanna go _there_ all by myself." Xeala sighed and lifted her backpack slightly up more, and breathed in a sigh of boredom. She stepped forward and begun walking.

_Wait…where AM I?_ Xeala pulled a map out of her backpack. Awkwardly, the Leaderpersondudethingy had given her a mission quite quickly. ( SOMEONE wants her gone… ::rolls eyes:: ) She was to infiltrate the Leaf Village and join the academy as a normal little ninja, perfectly innocent. ( PSH YEAH RIGHT.) She held the map up, cocked her head to the side, then realized it was upside down. She flipped it around. "Mmk… so I go that way and I'll get there. That works." Xeala looked down to the key of how many miles an inch was… "WHAT?" Xeala fell on her face due to overexcitement for how long she'd be running and jumping. "NOT. FUCKING. FAIR." Xeala stamped her foot down. A brightly colored bird flew past. "ZOMG BIRDY!" Xeala chased after the bird with her sketchbook and pencils in hand.

**Three and a half weeks later. Since some people get too side-tracked on chasing birds they go the completely wrong direction… ::sigh:: **

"Must… reach… gate… starving… want… food…" Xeala pulled herself across the ground with her hands, having not eaten in… 15 minutes… (::rolls eyes:: ) **GRRROWLZ!**"STFU YOU STUPID ASS STOMACH!" Xeala said and crawled over to a tree, which she leaned against and rested her eyes… ( which we all know is key for… well… )

"ZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZzzz…num…fuuuuuuud…" Xeala rolled onto her side sleeping under the tree. She rolled again. UNFORTUNATELY…

That tree, happened to be on a hill… SO! Xeala rolled down the hill, gaining so much speed that she just kept rolling once she got onto flat ground, and eventually slammed straight into a wall. A very large gate to be exact.

"FUCCCCCKKKK! DAMN THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH!" Xeala screamed and cringed in pain from having hit the wall at around 180ish mph… well, wouldn't you scream? Two men ran over from behind the wall.

"Are you okay?" One of them bent down beside her and asked. The other one blatantly just asked, "Who are you?"

"Uh… wait… wait for it… I…am… XEALA!" Xeala jumped up and held out a peace sign while saying her name.

"…and, _Xeala,_ what village are you from?"

"Village?"

"mmhmm."

"I'm not from one…I was…sorta… seeking to find one…and like…gain entrance or something…" She rubbed the back of her head, then spun on her heel. She looked at the sign on the door, the Konoha symbol. _YES I MADE IT! WHOO! THIS IS GONNA SO TOTALLY RO-…my shirt is destroyed. _Xeala looked down at the once-slightly-visible blob of red cloud on her shirt. She sighed heavily.

"Well? Can a sweet innocent little girl gain entry to Konoha?" Xeala asked with puppy dog eyes and a quivering lip. One of them sighed and poofed away. Within a few momentos, (yes espanol people deal with it that happens sometimes when you're a Spanish prodigy ) the ninja-man-dude had poofed back with another ninja-man-dude alongside him. The man was tanned with a scar across his nose, and almost-black hair pulled back into a tight ponytail.

"Iruka-san, this is Xeala, a young ninja hoping to gain entry to the village, can you bring her to the Hokage-sama?" One of them asked, since I'm getting mixed up with who they are. ::rolls eyes:: or I don't care.

"Ooh so formal with our speech aren't we?" Xeala muttered under her breath.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Xeala," Iruka said, holding out his hand.

"Likewise." Xeala said, faking a friendly smile and shook Iruka's hand.

"Well Xeala, if you could follow me I'll lead you to see the Third."

"…mmk." Xeala said, and quickly blew the blue chunk of hair out of her face to avoid walking into people.

THUS BEGINS THE LONG WINDING PATH TO THE HOKAGE'S MANSION HOUSE THING.

After enough twists and turns, and pushing through those damn crowds of girls that just stand there in your way and don't move at ALL. ::hiss:: Iruka and Xeala FINALLY made it to that big house. OOOH BIG HOUSE! WOO! Right anyway. Iruka knocked on the door all proper like. PSH BLOW THAT SHIT I'D WALK RIGHT IN! BUT NO…they gotta be proper. So. Yeah. Properness.

"Come in Iruka." A lowish oldish voice said, and Iruka pushed the door open and bowed. Xeala strolled right in improperly. ( HURRA FOR UNPROPERNESS XDD)

"Iruka, who is this? I feel I've never seen her before." The third Hokage said from his little desk thing. ( woot for desk things. )

"Hokage-sama, this is Xeala. She's looking to gain residence in our village." Iruka said.

"Yeah. That's sort-a the case." Xeala said quietly.

"Xeala? What is your last name." _I tell them to stop calling me Hokage-sama…_

"Last name? I don't think I have one."

"I see. Well," the Hokage dude shuffled through a few papers in his desk, then eyed a few carefully, " it seems the village now has three orphans. Iruka, do you think it would be best if we placed them all in the same living quarters?"

"B-but the other orphans…ar-"

The Hokage interrupted, "Do you think it would be best to do than to keep all three isolated in their own living quarters?"

"Mm…it might be okay…"

"Very well then. Iruka, please bring Xeala to Uchiha Sasuke's house. Then, if you would be so kind, collect Uzumaki Naruto and explain to the three the situation. Thank you Iruka. Xeala, I hope I'll be seeing you again sometime." The Hokage smiled under that big hat thing of his. Xeala faked another friendly smile.

"Likewise, Hokage-san." Xeala bowed her head and followed Iruka out, who seemed to be contemplating the situation at hand.

"So…who are these Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto persons?" Xeala said, jogging up to Iruka's side.

"Two ninja's in training at the academy… of which you shall be attending I hope. There's only a few days left before graduation, so do you think you'll be able to catch up to the rest of the class? Otherwise I'll have to have you stay back an entire year."

"OH DON'T YOU WORRY! I CAN KEEP UP WITH ANYONE!" Xeala said and made another peace sign to him. Iruka smiled a little, then took a few billion more turns. WHEE FOR TURNS! WOOOHOOOHOOO.

**ALLLLRIGHTY THEN. end chapter who knows. next chapter i swear to god it sounds hilarious how i planned it in my head...oky review!!**


	6. Pity the Uchiha

**ALRIGHTY. Who's ready for the chapter?! I AM! WOO!**

"Well, here we are." Iruka said and crossed his arms, standing in front of what I'm guessing is Sasuke's house. Hey I'm just a little birdy that sees everything and reads thoughts gimme a break. ::crosses wings:: Anyway, Iruka went up to the door of the house, then knocked several times. A blackish-blueish haired boy looked out a window about a floor up above them.

"Iruka-sensei?" Xeala looked up. _O…M…F…G… he IS Itachi's little brother look at that resemblance their totally related! DUUUUDE. O.O WAIT…WHATDIDTHEHOKAGESAY!?!? I-I-I-I HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIM? AND NARUTO!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. KILL MEEEE::cries in mind::_

Sasuke disappeared from the window.

"H-hey where'd he go!?" Xeala looked around to see Sasuke opening the door for Iruka.

"Iruka…?" Xeala asked and cocked her head to one side as Iruka walked into the house. Iruka motioned for Xeala to follow, which she did, at least up until the door.

"Uchiha Sasuke? It is an honor to meet you." Xeala bowed to Sasuke and continued on into the house.

"Sasuke, this is Xeala, a newcomer to the village. Could you watch over her for a few minutes? I have to..uh…go get something." Iruka said and poofed away.

"So…"

"…"

"Uh… well… hi?"

"…hi."

"Gee someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Xeala said and flung her backpack down. For some reason, thanks to a little birdy, it was open and all her stuff fell out of it. Including her sketch book which was opened to a page towards the front. Xeala jumped down and started to pick all the stuff up and shove it back into her backpack. Sasuke bent over and picked up the sketchbook, which had slid across the floor when her backpack fell. He glanced at the sketch, looked away, then a horrified look struck his face and he stared down at the sketch. Xeala then realized she had drawn way too many pictures of Akatsuki members for it to not be one of them…especially…

"Who is this?" Sasuke asked demandingly, still grasping the sketch book in his hands.

"THAT'S… UH… A PERSON! A VERY SAD PERSON NOW GIVE THAT BACK YOU BAD SASUKE!" She grabbed the sketch book from his hands and closed it quickly. Sasuke eyed her wearily.

"That was no person. I saw the writing on the bottom of the page." Sasuke turned away from her. "How do you know him?"

"Know who?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ITACHI YOU STUPID LITTLE TWIT!" Sasuke screamed.

"…OH HIM! WELL… I don't have an actual home village…so… I came… across weasel-man… and he…uh helped me find a place to stay?" Xeala said nervously for fear of being burned to death.

"I don't believe you at all."

" ::sigh:: Alright you figured me out. I'm sent by Itachi to kill you all."

" That was even stupider."

"Yeah I know, but there was a Wanted sign on the wall I crashed into when I rolled down the hill over by the gate… so… I like to draw things I see…"

"That makes absolutely no sense. You're almost as bad as Sakura and that Ino girl." Sasuke said and glared down at the sketch book in Xeala's hands.

"I'll get rid of it if you want…"

"Oh I'll take care of that." Sasuke said and used his little flame jutsu on the sketch book which burst into flames.

"YEOW HOT!" Xeala dropped the firey book. " Are you satisfied now?"

"No."

"Can we at least start over with this whole meeting?"

"Whatever."

"Arigato. ::bows to Sasuke:: Uchiha Sasuke it is very nice to meet you." Xeala zipped her backpack all the way up, for fear of Sasuke even smelling Itachi, who's hat, shirts, and P.J's were all in that bag.

"Hmph."

"Well aren't we the emo child?!" Xeala said and put her hands on her hips giggling. Sasuke growled slightly.

"Sasuke, Xeala, are you two alive in there?" Iruka said from outside the door.

"No way there's absolutely no way I'm going in the jerks house!"

"Calm down Naruto. Just come inside I want you to meet someone." Iruka said and pulled a boy in an ickybleh orange jumpsuitoutfitthing through the door. The tension between Sasuke and Naruto seemed to make the room boil.

"Is it just me or did it suddenly get fairly warm in here?"

"Shh. Naruto. ::hit:: This is Xeala, a newcomer to our village."

"Hi there Xeala, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to be the next Hokage! Believe it!" Naruto said proudly. Sasuke spat at his feet.

"Tsk tsk Sasuke testy today aren't we!" Xeala said and waved a finger at him, "Hi Naruto, it's a pleasure to meet you," Xeala bowed to Naruto.

"Okay well…now that we all know each other… good news or bad news?"

"BAD." All three said at once.

"…right…well… Hokage-sama sees it fit since now there are three orphaned children in the village, they should all live together in the same house…for some reason. And…those three children…happen…to be you." Iruka said uneasily. All three of them dropped to the floor.

"Good news now! You get to pick where you want to live!"

"AWAY FROM NARUTO! HE'LL JUST HOLD ME BACK! AND SO WILL THIS LITTLE PRICK!" Sasuke pointed to the two.

"O.O"

"I DON'T WANNA LIVE ANYWHERE NEAR SASUKE HE'S SUCH A JERK!" Naruto pointed at Sasuke.

"SHUT UP YOU TWO!" Xeala said and kicked them both in the head.

"Please you three, it's not something I have any control over whatsoever." Now just decide where you want to live."

"Somewhere with at least three bathrooms…" Xeala said quietly. Sasuke nodded his head.

"I call farthest away from him." Naruto and Sasuke pointed at each other at the same time as saying this.

"For two who hate each other so, you seem fairly alike… I DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT SORRY DON'T KILL ME!" Xeala covered her head with her hands and awaited the bashing. _O.o? no bashing?_ She lifted her hands up.

"BRAT!" Sasuke hit her over the head with his foot, dragging her down to the floor.

_.. I was wrong…_ _damn Hentai Sasuke!_ She caught his foot over her head and dragged him down to the floor, then pounced onto his chest and punched him in the face.

"-.-" Iruka shook his head. "So you want a house with three bathrooms that's it?"

"YES!" Xeala screamed and begged on her hands and knees for a house with three bathrooms.

"I think that can be arranged."

**One Hour Later**

"THREE BATHROOMS AND ONE BEDROOM!? THAT'S SO NOT FAIR!" Naruto screamed at Iruka. Iruka merely shrugged.

"You said three bathrooms and all agreed, with no other complaints."

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Xeala screamed crying at Iruka's feet.

"Come on now it's not that bad it's not like you can't just change a roo-…wait no there's only a kitchen combined with those other rooms."

Xeala crashed to the floor.

"… I CALL DARKEST CORNER!" Xeala screamed and ran into the bedroom that had been assigned to the three.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Sasuke leapt after her and jumped in front of her and raced to the bedroom, and began to run into the room as something tangled around his leg and pulled him into a face plant.

"Haha better luck next time pretty boy!" Xeala said happily and hopped over to the darkest corner of the room, near a window with blinds drawn. She looked around the room. "It's pretty plain in here…isn't it?" She said and put her hand on the wall. She opened her backpack and began rummaging through it. Sasuke lifted himself off the ground as Naruto walked into the room. _What is she doing…_ Sasuke thought annoyed, seeing as the good part of the room was now taken. Xeala gained a happy look on her face and looked up, pulling out a little tiny sack with a string tied around the top.

"And that's supposed to be what?" Naruto asked confused, seeing as the village mostly had frog wallets.

"MONEY FOR PAINT! Now, we decide what color to paint the room." She said, and looked around the room happily, cuz it seriously needed a paint job, the plaster marks were still on the walls for god's sake!

"Black." Sasuke said stoutly.  
"ORANGE!" Naruto screamed.

"Mmm…Purple or blue…" Xeala debated with herself over paint color.

"…fine then, blue. Dark blue." Sasuke said and crossed his arms.

"NO! The farthest I'll go is light blue!" Naruto screamed.

"I say purple." Xeala said and grabbed them both by the wrist, yanking them out the door.

"Let go of me you brat!" Sasuke ordered unable to free his wrist from her grip.

"Nu-uh, we gotta all pick a paint color or else we'll never get anywhere. TIME TO GO SHOPPING!"

"NO!" Sasuke and Naruto both demanded and dug their heels into the floor. Xeala smirked. She released their hands. Both of them sighed, letting their wrists fall down to their sides. Xeala held up a almost invisible string, and their arms moved forward.

"YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT HOW COULD YOU DO THAT WITHOUT US KNOWING!" Naruto said looking at the string around his wrist. Sasuke stared at the string around his wrist, then reached for a kunai in his pocket. Xeala held up five kunais.

"Looking for these?"

"…"

"TO THE SHOPPING PLAZA!"

"Fine. But we get to pick the color." Sasuke said smirking. Naruto smiled as well.

"…it's not going to be a good color is it…"

"Oh I was thinking more along the lines of hot pink, what about you Sasuke?"

"Just as I was thinking Naruto."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Xeala screamed and flailed on the floor. Sasuke and Naruto laughed evilly. …odd…they're agreeing on something… oh well torture of others is fun.

"Come now Xeala you didn't think you'd get off _that_ easy did you?" Sasuke asked and raised an eyebrow, "You did steal my spot anyway."

" ::grumble:: stupid Sasuke hentai Naruto idiot…" Xeala walked back to the bedroom and to her corner, where she sat down cross-legged and rested her head against the wall, facing into the corner. Sasuke and Naruto walked out of the house in different directions, Sasuke going to buy the torturous hot pink room paint, and Naruto to go buy some futons for them to actually sleep on. And…that left Xeala to be herself all alone in the room.

-POOF-

"So what have you found out?"

"KYAAAAAA!" Xeala fell over out of the corner. _Why…did…they…send…him…::twitch::_

"Hey how'd you even find me!?"

"A little birdy told me."

::nod:: yep yep I did.

"Okay well I've been here about oh I don't know, an hour or so. How am I supposed to know anything?"

"…you left three and a half weeks ago."

"O.o…::twitch:: OH. Well… you see… the map exploded five minutes after I opened it… and… there was a bird…"

"So you followed a bird?"

"…maybe."

"::sigh:: your even more hopeless than _they_ are. No one seems to live up to the standards of living these days. I'm going back, and no one is going to be pleased with this report. But what do you understand? You're just a kid."

"Fuck you ya emo weasel."

"You little obon! You're lucky you're alive. Deidara should have killed you on the spot."

"HE TRIED, REMEMBER?!"

"…obon."

"weasel-whore."

"gr."

With that, the weasel left. Xeala sighed and leaned back to her corner.

**ALRIGHTY. Slightly long chapter and it looks like someone's getting in trouble. Tsk tsk tsk. Ah oh well review and new chapters soon!**


	7. Ramen!

**YO! Okay yeah once more, I got nothing. SO…on with the story. **

"What's the matter Itachi? Letting a 12 year old get to you?" Kisame asked, applying nail polish to his nails while sitting on the couch. Itachi threw a kunai through Kisame's hair and into the wall behind him.

"Shut up."

"Fine. Not my fault though."

"Gr… she's so useless… I don't get why people like her." Itachi growled and walked over to the kitchen to get FOOOODZ.

**Meanwhile back at the death house**

"OH XEALA I'M HOME!" Naruto shouted as he entered the house, lugging three futons with him. Moments afterward, Sasuke walked through the door with… three buckets of paint. ::shudder::

"Xeala it's painting time."

"No! No it's not!" Xeala curled into fetal position in her corner.

"Come on Xeala it's not that bad." Sasuke said and dipped a paintbrush into the hot pink paint, and painted a streak on the wall in front of her face.

"::gasp:: … ::faint::"

"…geeze I didn't think it would be that much of a problem for her…" Sasuke dropped the paintbrush back into the bucket, " Hey Naruto, wanna get some water up here?"

"Do it yourself Sasuke." Naruto said, setting up shop in his corner of the room.

" Your so useless Naruto." Sasuke said and walked out of the room. _There's only four days until graduation at the Academy and she can't even stand a little hot pink paint? My god why do I remain here… these people are all just holding me back._ _::sigh::_  
"Dundundundun!" Xeala jumped out of the doorway and tackled Sasuke off his feet. "YOU!" Xeala said deeply, eyes wide and glaring right at Sasuke. Sasuke lifted his feet up and pushed against her shins, forcing Xeala to fly over his head. As she flew over him, she grabbed onto his shoulders and flung him through the air as well, straight through the doorway. Sasuke landed a few feet behind Xeala.

"GRR ::two-way glare of death::"

Naruto ran and skidded to a stop at the doorway.

"Whoa, hey, guys! Don't fight in the middle of the street we'll get in trouble, they might not let us graduate at this rate! Cut it out!" Naruto said quickly.

"YOUR GOING DOWN SASUKE!" Xeala barked, and flew at Sasuke, who dodged her tackle quite easily. Something hooked in Sasuke's arm, ripping the skin slightly.

"Hah! You fell for my feint!" Xeala pulled her arm backwards, which caused Sasuke to take a step towards her. Xeala pulled her arm back even farther, and her fingers seemed to be holding something.  
_It's that same string from earlier… how'd she get it in me?_ Sasuke looked at the inside of his arm, where a fishing hook was sitting in his arm.

"GAH!" Sasuke pulled at the hook, of course they catch muscle and skin the more you pull at them. Xeala smirked and jerked the string back extremely fast, then jumped off the ground and launched at Sasuke, hitting head-on. The hook flew out of his arm, Sasuke grabbed Xealas right leg, Xeala aimed to kick Sasuke in the stomach while holding his arm backwards, and Sasuke also had a hold on that blue hair of hers. They crashed to the ground in a tangled heap of Xeala and Sasuke. Naruto broke out laughing from the doorway.

"Get. OFF." Xeala said roughly.

"I would if I could." Sasuke said considering the fact they were intertwined at almost every joint. A dog barked, er…more like a puppy. A little white furball of doom, better known as Akamaru, came running out at the two on the ground, then jumped up onto Sasuke's back, which seemed to be the highest point of the lump

"O.O AHHHHHH NO NOT A PUPPY!" Xeala shielded her face in the dirt, due to puppys having an insatiable habit of licking it. Sasuke sighed. _If this dog even THINKS about using me as a bathroom…_

"Akamaru! Akamaru get over here!" _Someone_ yelled and ran from the same direction as our little canine friend. A certain person we should all know too well came into view. And stopped.

"…Sasuke? Since when do you come to this side of the town?" Kiba said and cocked his head to the side, in his hood so it didn't really look like he had but he did so deal with it. O.o

"Since I got stuck with dumb and dumber." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"…and…you're stuck where you are right now?" Kiba asked.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Get your fat ass offa me Sasuke!"

"O.O OMG THERE'S A PERSON UNDER YOU!" _I haven't seen her before! I wonder who she is! OH NO I DON'T KNOW SOMEONE MY POPULARITY RATING MUST BE DROPPING BY THE SECOND::mental scream of terror:: _

"NO DUH?" Xeala screamed out from under Sasuke, "NOW HELP ME!" She held her free hand out of the pile.

"This is hilarious… Akamaru get off of Sasuke please." Kiba said and Akamaru jumped off of Sasuke's back, "That _is_ you he's on right Sasuke?"

"…"

"Geez. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the emo-corner."

"NO THAT'S MINE!" Xeala cried out possessively… over her emo-corner.

"…riiiiiiight…mmk well, Akamaru and I are going to go now so you guys can have fun untangling yourselves…"

"NO!!" The two screamed out… well? What'd you do in their predicament? Sit there and be like okay we can hopefully work this out like normal, civil, dignified human beings? PSH.

"Oh we really do need help don't we?"

"…Kiba just help us already."

"Fine, fine." Kiba walked over to the tangled pile and examined the many different tangles. "What's your name again?" Kiba seemed to have forgotten the task at hand…

"Xeala. Now help us Kiba!"

"Alright!" Kiba said and began moving around limbs. Raise your hand if you trust Kiba to do this. ::looks onto audience of crickets:: Now chirp loudly if you DON'T trust Kiba to do this. ::watches crickets flip out chirping insanely.

"YEOW! OW OW OW OW MY KNEE DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY!" Xeala cried.

"Um… um… uh… SHIKAMARU!" Kiba cried and ran off to find Shikamaru after having made the situation a bit worse… a bit.

"I hate you Sasuke."

"I hate you too."

"This is all your fault."

"WHAT!? HOW!?"

"You painted the wall hot pink."

"ONLY CUZ YOU TOOK THE CORNER! AND YOU WOULDN'T AGREE WITH ME ON BLACK."

"BUT BLACK IS SO PLAIN!"

"BUT IT'S SUCH A GOOD COLOR!"

"BUT IT'S PLAIN!"

"IT'S PERFECT!"

"IT'S PLAAAAAIIIIIIIIIN!"

"Both of you just shut up! If you don't, then I'LL take your emo-corner, Mr. and Mrs. Emo." Naruto said, pissing the two off even more…

::glare of hatred::

"I HATE YOU!" Both of them shouted loudly, as if they could do anything about their predicament. At that moment, Shikamaru came running with Kiba.

"Kiba, what's this!? You said there was an emergency! That was very troublesome for you to come lie like that."

"It is an emergency" Xeala said and spat some dirt out of her mouth from having her head pressed against the ground too long.

"Shikamaru just help us." Sasuke said plainly.

"It's not the hard of a knot to undo. You just do this, and this, and this, and presto, freedom." Shikamaru spoke wihle untangling the not of hating chakra. Xeala and Sasuke jumped up like they were about to attack one another again. "Sasuke do you ever stop fighting? It's almost like you _want_ all of those girls to like you."

" WHAT::slightly blushes:: I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Look behind you. -.-"

Sasuke turned around to see his legion of adoring fans. -.- _not them again._ Xeala then got an idea that didn't have something to do with destroying people. She jumped behind Sasuke and grabbed his arms behind his back so he couldn't move them.

"COME GET HIM GIRLS!" She yelled over Sasuke's shoulder and winked.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Giving you to the girls."

"NO!" Sasuke bit Xeala's neck and ran/tripped into the house, locking the door quickly after slamming it. The girls all sighed and dispersed among the normal crowds.

" ::yawn:: yep, all in a days work. Woo! Now if I knew where I could get some food…Hey Shikamaru! Do you know where there's any food!?"

"O.o you know who I am?"

"UM…yeah… Sasuke said it…and so did Kiba… ::twitch::"

"Um…sure…wait what's your name?"

"Xeala… now take me to the food!" Xeala said happily and hopped over to him and Kiba, who was talking to Akamaru… right… you do that Kiba…

"Um…there's a ramen shop…"

"GREAT ANY TYPE OF FOOD IS WONDERFUL I HAVEN'T EATEN IN AN HOUR!"

" -.- and you're hungry?" Kiba asked astonishedly, since all the girls in the village are anorexic bitches who are all on diets.

"Gee she's almost like Chouji, just… miniscule and female." Shikamaru sighed and said that out loud…mistake number one. _SLAP!_

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" Both Kiba and Shikamaru asked rubbing the backs of their heads where they had been smacked.

"You didn't have that nice of a tone in your voices when you were talking about me so I had to change that."

"…unhuh." Both replied slightly scared…

"SO ARE WE GONNA EAT OR NO!?" Xeala yelled, quite anxious to get food.

"…sure." Shikamaru said and started walking the complete opposite direction of the ramen shop. _Maybe if we walk around long enough, she'll leave us alone… hopefully… I don't need another smashing… _

"Shikamaru where are you going?! The ramen shop is THAT way." Kiba said, pointing in the direction of the ramen shop.

"…::anime vein:: great job Kiba."

"What? What'd I do?"

"::sigh:: Shikamaru I thought you'd be a bit smarter than that if you thought I wasn't gonna figure out the way to the ramen shop on my own, I WAS gonna treat you guys to food for helping me, but…seeing as you aren't GOING to help me, I won'-"

"TO THE RAMEN SHOP!" Kiba proclaimed, grabbing Xeala's wrist and dragging her towards the ramen shop. But hey! Who passes up free ramen!? NO ONE I TELL YOU NO ONE!!!  
"WAIT FOR MEEEE!" Shikamaru yelled and ran after them.

"…free…ramen…" Naruto's ears pricked up, and he raced back out the door, "XEALA KIBA SHIKAMARU WAIT FOR ME!"

**Thus ends the chapter. Why do I say the chapter and not the number? I forgot the number… eheh… n.n So… next chappie up soon hopefully… talk to yall later. **

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!!! **


	8. Pwnage

**HOLA. Alright so I think I'm gonna start heading into the plot I've been scribbling down and crossing out too much lately so on with the story.**

-AKATSUKI H.Q.-

"Itachi?" Deidara asked quietly, "Where were you the other day?"

"Out."

"Out where, un?"

"OUT."

"Well, you know I heard you went to Konoha," Deidara said, climbing onto the couch and laying down, watching a clay bird fly circles around his head, "and you had no mission to do so." Deidara looked at Itachi from the corner of his eyes…or…eye…since I'm not sure if there actually is another one in that metal thing…

"I was checking on something. I haven't been there for years, don't you think I might want to see how much _he_ has grown, Deidara?"

"Well Itachi," Deidara's little bird blew up in mid-air, and Deidara walked towards his room, " I think you're investigating something else. And I'll find out what it is." Deidara's door slammed shut.

-KONOHA!-

_BUURRRRRRRRRPP!_

"Wooh! Right on Xeala!" Kiba hi-fived Xeala, who was seated with her back leaning against the ramen bar, an empty bowl in her lap. Kiba himself had three bowls and counting. Shikamaru…had fallen asleep with his face in a bowl… a full bowl… Xeala had just about enough adventures for today.

"Well boys, it's been swell eating with ya, but… I've got a corner to keep from Sasuke!" And she dashed off away from the ramen shop.

"BYEEEE XEALA!" Kiba waved happily. Shikamaru woke up quickly with this.

"KIBA WHERE'D SHE GO?" Shikamaru asked anxiously

"Xeala? Oh don't worry about her, she went home."

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS!?"

"Umm…no?"

"O.O WE HAVE TO PAY THEN!"

"NOOOOOO!" Kiba quickly checked his pockets. Shikamaru did the same. _Nada._

"Well, are you two going to pay for your food or not?!" The ramen bar ownerperson said harshly.

Both of them gave a weak laugh.

-NSX RESIDENCE-

"SASUKE YOU KEEP YOUR MITS OFF MY CORNER!" Xeala screamed and ran into the house. She stopped dead. "…what…have…you…two…done!?" Xeala said, horrified at the house's appearance.

Pink.

Every.

Single.

Wall.

_Bright.   
Hot.  
Pink._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Xeala screamed and broke into a teary rage. "SASUKE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" She said and spun around. Her bathroom looked un-touched. "AT LAST PEACE!" Xeala ran to her bathroom. She was even more horrified, almost enough to throw up. The walls were all tiled pink, the sink was a granite color. The shower had been converted into a steaming, full, white bathtub with rose petals spread through the water. There was a note on the tub. Xeala picked it up quickly.

_Dear Xeala,  
We realize that you must completely despise the color pink. Well, we took advantage of that. ENJOY!!  
3 Sasuke and Naruto.   
P.S. – Try to get back at us and you'll never see your black clothes again. _

Xeala shuddered. _WHY!?_ _WHY MUST THEY TORTURE ME SO!?_ Xeala gulped, then began the incredibly painstaking four-feet-long journey to the bedroom… where someone's worst fears would come to life.

"Oh Xeala!" A happy voice said from behind the door, "Isn't it time for a little girl to go to bed!?"

Xeala shuddered again. _Oh they're good at this. They're very good… almost… too good…they're got some sort of help. I KNOW IT. I'LL HAVE TO SPY ON THEM! _Xeala walked away from the door and outside the house. She sidled along the wall, ( the house is one story, I'll hopefully get the layout of it done sometime…if I ever find my scanner!) and came to the back of the house. She heard two laughs coming from the window of the room. (the bedroom will now be referred to as room )

"This is going almost exactly according to plan!" Naruto's voice said, and it sounded like he was sitting somewhere farther from the window.

"Now all we need to do is to be patient. Once she goes to sleep, we can take out our _secret weapon._" Sasuke's overly-confident voice said, from… O.O! XEALA'S CORNER?!?! _Wait, I hear footsteps, they must have done something to my bed…_ _I'LL KILL THEM!_ Xeala gritted her teeth and rubbed her palms together maniacally, while an eery shadow was cast over the house.

"Sasuke did you hear that?" Naruto said.

"Naruto, I think you may have gained some common sense." Sasuke's voice said, coming closer to the window of which Xeala was sitting under. She looked up. Sasuke stuck his head out the window and looked up, left, right, and almost behind the window. "Or maybe we're both losing it…" Sasuke said, footsteps signifying him walking away from the window.

"Phew." Xeala sighed. Two hands came at her from the window and threw her backwards into the room.

"Welcome home, Xeala." Sasuke said with an irritably creepy smile.

"Yes Xeala, isn't it just a wonderful night?" Naruto asked from his bed, with a nightcap…on…his head… anyway…

"…what did you do."

"We didn't actually do anything besides paint. Paint, paint, paint. And decorate…but that's decorating…not too much work." Sasuke replied while shrugging, then walked over to his own bed. _Not gonna fall for it lame asses. _Xeala rolled her eyes and crawled to her bed, which like theirs, was a futon directly on the floor. _Cheapskates. _Xeala began dissecting the bed. Sasuke and Naruto watched contently.

"You two…are…way to happy…"

"But…your bed…is bright pink!" Naruto said, a bit surprised.

"And?"

"Hn. Naruto I guess it's over, she's gotten over the pink…" Sasuke said and laid down on his side, facing the wall.

His face: an evil plotting smirking smile of hatred and revenge.

"Mm, I guess your right Sasuke," Naruto feigned a yawn, then proceeded to laying down, while turning off the light.

"I STILL DON'T TRUST YOU PEOPLE!" Xeala said and crawled into her own bed. Her eyes stayed alertly open for the next few hours, until she drifted to sleep.

-Next morning-

Xeala sat up in her bed, just missing the wall-head contact. Sasuke and Naruto were gone. …it's…four…they wouldn't be up already… unless… Xeala quickly looked around the room. Nothing unusual…besides the pink. She hopped out of bed and ran to the door, which she flung open quickly. Still nothing unusual. Xeala ran to her bathroom, nothing unusual there either. She sighed and ran some cold water in the sink. She cupped it and splashed her face a few times. After drying her face off, she looked into the mirror. She looked away from the mirror, then did a double take.

"…no…" 

**Alright that's it! Please review!**


	9. Vengence!

**Alright it's taken a lot of erasing and sketches… but I've done it. I've found out what Xeala looks like in the mirror. YOU WANNA FIND OUT!? **

**I bet you do.**

**Oh how I bet you do. This is now the first day of the series' starting date episode thing… wooh.**

Xeala slowly lifted a hand to the mirror, gliding it along the mirror's cold reflection of what must have been her. That once beautifully long down-to-her-butt hair was cut up to an inch or so below her shoulders, and _someone_ decided it would be funny to play tic-tac-toe on her face.

Yep.   
On. Her. Face. ( WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHERE I GOT THAT INSPIRATION FROM!? Last year…sleepover…woke up graffiti-ized. Good fun those sleepovers. )

Xeala let out a small insignificant yelp of pity for herself.

"Why…why… my beautiful hair… the time I put into getting it that wonderfully long and bright, I don't know cuz I can't remember squat but it must have taken a long time!" Xeala dropped her hand down by her side, curling it into a fist. _SASUKE AND NARUTO SHALL DIE. _Unfortunately, the two had decided to run off as fast as they could to have some sort of protection. Xeala of course didn't know this. She climbed up onto the roof from a windowsill, then walked over to the edge. Hopping from roof to roof, Xeala continued her hoppage… until she got to the ramen shop and heard some voices laughing.

"::burning glare of death and hatred:: Sasuke… this is your fault…" Xeala sat on the edge of the roof, the building she was on just a good enough height for her to be able to calculate the angle correctly, and tackle Sasuke into the back of that ramen shop… or better yet… into the large bosom of the woman eating a few chairs away…

_Hmm… now let's see… what's funnier… Sasuke's head in a bowl of boiling broth… or… him suffocating between the world's largest boobs… SUFFOCATION I CHOOSE YOU! _ Xeala slinked to the side/edge of the roof. She squatted down and put her hands on the brim of the shingles, to hold them down if they were to make noise during her big tackle-to-the-death. Xeala took in a deep breathe, leaned back, then sprung forward off the roof, arms oustretched with fists on the end, heading dead-on for Sasuke. And the best part of it all? It's 4ish am… a.k.a. dark as fuck. Sasuke never saw it coming.

"…X-eala… nice seeing you here?!" Naruto said nervously from his chair. He dropped money on the bar counter and ran off as quickly as his short little legs could go. RUN NARUTO RUN! Not like it'll do him any good. His fate was predetermined for weeks before I actually got the nerve to put this up… BWAHAHA. Xeala lept off of Sasuke's seat, which she had grabbed onto as Sasuke flew out of it and into his cushiony 'grave', and began her hunt of Naruto.

Sadly, Naruto is a native to the city… and quite good at manipulating it as to get out of trouble...

**Half an hour later…**  
"::pant pant pant:: NARUTO!! YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE! YOU'LL HAVE TO GO TO THE ACADEMY SOMETIME!" Xeala screamed into the empty street she had believed Naruto ran down. She stomped her foot impatiently, then began walking towards the direction of the academy. …or… it was the direction of the academy before all those turns and twists every which way… pooooor Xeala.

"…where…am i?" Xeala turned around in circles. She saw an orange little blip (a blip is a little tiny thing ) running in the distance. "AHA!" Xeala raced after said orange blip.

The orange blip kept running…slighty faster than Naruto should be… thus began the mental conversation of Xeala and herself.

_Why is the blip so fast!/ _

_Maybe because you're fat. _

_O.O! _

_FATTY! YOU'LL NEVER BE SKINNY IF YOU CAN'T CATCH NARUTO!_

_O.O! _

_What? _

_YOU CALLED ME FAT!_

…_so are you going to punch yourself in the face?_

…_I would. _

_Okay well, I'm just kidding about the fat part. _

_GOOD! _

_But you're gonna GET fat, 'specially if you can't keep up with NARUTO!_

_AHA! YOU'RE RIGHT! FOR ONCE! _ I SHALL BRING HIM DOWN!

THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

Xeala decided to change plans. Instead of running, she switched to hopping from roof to roof again. The blip started to get closer. After much more running, it's a big city you know, Xeala jumped off the roof and pressed her feet squarely into Naruto's back.

"AH-…Sasuke? Why did you imitate Naruto?"

" …"

"WELL I FEEL LOVED WHEN PEOPLE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS." Xeala squeamed and dug her heel into Sasuke's back. ( yes, squeamed. Get use to the odd words. )

"AAARRRGGGHH!" Something familiar screamed and plummeted directly into Xeala's head, slamming her face straight into the crane of Sasuke's neck, who had turned around under her foot…so…it sort of looked like they were hugging…ish… O.o… bleh.

"Sasuke… I'm going to kill you." Xeala said quietly. Naruto removed his foot from her back.

"Sorry bout that Sasuke…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. Sasuke removed his arms from Xeala's back, which had gotten in the way of him blocking himself. He pushed Xeala off and got up, dusting himself off.

"Let's pretend none of this… EVER… happened. Okay?" Sasuke began walking off, hopefully towards the academy, cuz Naruto went the opposite way most likely to be late or do something stupid. Xeala lowered her head.

"Listen, Sasuke… I'm really sorry… I shouldn't have been so arrogant and irritating to you… I'm sorry. Listen you got me back, you wanna start on new terms for today?" Xeala asked and said pleadingly.

"…I won't like it…but okay…I'm gonna be dealing with you forever anyway… ::rolls eyes::"

"Thanks Sasuke!" Xeala said and pranced over to him, "So…where we goin'?"

"Where else."

"NO NOT SCHOOL!" Xeala fell down on her back in the dirt and twitched…

_Why do I live in a town of such morons… ::rolls eyes::_ Sasuke's thoughts rambled on how he should be in a more serious town with better fighters and whatnot…

"You're sitting in mounds of dirt, where people walk everyday, and dogs shit and piss… and lots of other nasty germs…" Sasuke said and continued walking, not once even looking back.

"EW GROSS YUCK!" Xeala screamed and ran ahead of him like there would be some sort of magical fountain of cleansing…

_Someone get me out of here._ Sasuke thought once more of a better village, then continued walking calmly with his hands in his pockets, while the insane one ahead of him ran around like a maniac trying to find somewhere to drench herself…

**ALRIGHTY. That's it for the chapter. Next chapter will most likely be about the school… and meeting peoplez and stuff.**


	10. First day

**ROAR! Tiiiiiime for the chapter of doom! **

"Cooollllllldd… colllllddd…"

"You shouldn't have jumped in that pool of water…especially _this_ early in the morning…" Sasuke sighed and continued walking with the maniac next to him who had decided to jump in a pool of water on the side of the walking path road…thing.

"But it's colllllllddd…" Xeala looked at him seeking pity.

"I don't pity you."

"O.O! HOW"D YOU KNOW I WANT PITY?"

"Because you're looking at me with the biggest puppy-dog eyes I've ever seen." Sasuke rolled his eyes and continued walking.

"Damn. Oh you're good. You're very good." Xeala said and caught up to him once more. "So…what's this crowd we shall be learnin' with like?"

"A BUNCH OF COMPLETE IDIOTS WHO ARE ALL HOLDING ME BACK!" Sasuke screamed and kicked a wall.

".. right then…" Xeala took a step to the side.

"That was out loud?"

"Yep."

"Woops."

"Eheh… right…OHMIGOD! IDEA! We should find out who's fastest and race to the school academy thing!"

"You're _kidding_."

Xeala shook her head.

"Nope! Come on it'll be so intense, it'll be me against you and you against me and we'll be like GRRR YOUR GOING DOWN BIATCH! And then we'll race and see who wins and who wins will be all like WOOOH I WIN and the loser'll be like NOOOO!! Oh come on it'll be awesome!" Xeala said all in one breath, since it's too long for me to mold into one word…

"O.o… breathe much?"

" ::breathes in:: So!? You wanna race it's only right there!" Xeala said and pointed to the academy less than 100 meters away. _WE WALKED THAT FAST?_ Sasuke thought… quite surprised he had walked so fast as to have been there already.

"How bout no?" Sasuke said solemnly

"Aww… Sasuke you're no fun!" Xeala said and began to mess his hair up.

"NOT THE HAIR!" Sasuke screamed and flung his hands up, accidentally punching Xeala directly in the face.

"…"

"Xeala? …are…are you alright?"

Xeala's head drooped down. Her left hand curled into a fist.

_FSHWOOOOMM!!!_

Xeala sent a fist straight into Sasuke's stomach.

"…"

"HEY SASUKE ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" Xeala asked sarcastically with her hands on her hips.

"Gr."

"OOH SASUKE'S A LION!"

"…" Sasuke rolled his eyes once more and began walking into the building. _She is off the WALLS…_ _someone kill me, WAIT! I MUST…KILL…HIM… FIRST! _

"Aw, come on Sasuke, it's just a joke!" Xeala yelled after him, then jumped quickly to catch up with him. "Sasuke stop walkin' so fast!" Xeala yelled and reached out a trembling hand like an old lady… someone seriously has issues… or ADHD… either one… "OMIGOD SASUKE LOOK! A CLAAAAAASSROOM! WITH DESKS AND THEIR ALL ALIGNED AND PRETTY AND NOT DESTROYED OR ANYTHING!!!"

"Yes, amazing, totally, utterly, and completely, amazing." Sasuke said and began walking to a desk by the window.

"O.O"

"What now?" Sasuke asked, sitting down and resting his chin on his hand as he sat down, staring out the window… more issues…

"Where do I sit?"

_AHA! IDEA! NOW SAKURA AND INO WON'T COME NEAR ME! And this one isn't as annoying as everyone else in the world…_ Sasuke thought happily. ( OMG HAPPY!? NOOO::dies:: ) Sasuke pulled the chair next to him out eagerly.

"Do me a favor and sit here. I don't need those lazy bitches sitting next to me…" Sasuke pointed to the chair next to him. Xeala cocked her head to the side.

"Who?"

" ::shudder:: Sakura…and Ino…"

"OH. Gladly, I'll partake in anything used against them, err… almost anything… ::twitch::"

"What do you mean almo-O.o" Sasuke twitched after realizing what Xeala had meant to say.

"Okay…let's pretend I never. Ever. Ever said that. Kay?"

"Agreed."

"GREAT." Xeala said and sat down. Immediately, her forehead slammed into the table, along with the rest of her face, cuz your forehead doesn't go without the rest… unless something bad is happening. Sasuke looked down out of the corner of his eye. _Oh my god she's sleeping… what is wrong with this girl!?_

"ZZZzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz…"

"Xeala… you'll get in trouble if you drool on the desk…" Sasuke said and chuckled a little bit.

"ZZZZnh…one more minute…ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" Xeala mumbled while sleeping.

"Great." _Hmm… I wonder why she actually had that picture… it seemed so strange… someone would have to be right up in… his face…   
_"…great… there's another two and a half hours before the class even starts arriving…" Sasuke stared at the clock. ( I think ninja school starts at 8ish… so…it's 4:50)  
_Tick…Tick…Tick…  
…Tick…  
…Tick…  
…   
…  
Tick… _

…

"DAMNIT CLOCK GO FASTER!" Sasuke yelled at the clock. He sighed and sat back down. _Maybe I can carve the desk out… no I'd get in trouble and might not pass, then I'll never be able to beat Itachi!_ Sasuke decided Xeala had a good idea, and rested his head on the windowsill. His eyelids started to droop, and he drifted to slip slowly…

**Two hours and fifteen minutes later...**_  
_"Sasuke…wake up… COME ON SASUKE WAKE YOUR ASS UP!" Xeala said shaking Sasuke rapidly.

"Nh…"

"I'll move my seat."

"I'M UP."

"Good. Now play tic-tac-toe against me."

"THAT'S WHAT YOU WOKE ME UP FOR?"

"Yes. Now move. I'm X you're O."

"Great." Sasuke took the pen out of her hand and put an O in the top right corner, her X was in the middle. Xeala moved to the lower left. Sasuke moved to the mid-left. Xeala moved to the upper left…

" ::anime vein:: …I'm going back to sleep."

"HAH I WIN BY DEFAULT!" Xeala screamed and jumped up on her chair dancing…

"…forget about me sleeping, someone else needs some sleep BADLY…" Sasuke pulled her ankle out from under her, and she fell backwards on the chair, her back bending over the side and head almost touching the floor.

"Sasuke you almost killed me."

"Almost? Damn… I thought I finally killed you." Sasuke smirked and continued staring out the window. Xeala punched him in the arm and laid her head back on the table.  
**Like… twenty or so minutes later…**

_SLAM!_

"XEALA!" Kiba yelled in her ear, and she jolted upright.

"LOS MARACAS SON EN EL QUESO!" She screamed and quickly covered her mouth. (in Spanish, that means the maracas are in the cheese… whatever she's talking about…)

" . riiiiight…" Kiba said and grabbed Xeala out of her chair by her head, locking her in a headlock and noogying the hell out of her hair.

"HEY HEY! SASUKE JUST CUT THIS LAST NIGHT WHILE I WAS SLEEPING!"

"How'd you know I did it?"

"Cuz you cut some strands of your own hair off." Xeala said, freeing herself from Kiba's headlock.

"…what?" Kiba tilted his head to the side. "wait… you mean… you both… you… two… in the same…" Kiba turned around and fell down the steps of the classroom and fell down laughing to the blackboard.

"Grrrr…" Xeala said and climbed onto the table about to pounce after him. Sasuke grabbed her ankle once more.

"Don't waste energy on him…"

"BUT…BUT…"

"Fine, break the classroom, see if you pass."

"…fine." Xeala said and sat back down. Moments later, Shikamaru came through the door.

"XEALA YOU LITTLE!" Shikamaru ran over to the desk, and Xeala had ducked under Sasuke's chair…seat…thing… before he could get there. "Sasuke please remove yourself from the chair, this could be quite troublesome if you don't." Shikamaru asked almost politely.

"No." Sasuke said and glared at Shika from the corner of his eye. Shika took a step back.

"…well…well… well fine!" Shikamaru walked over to his own seat, and Kiba stuck his tongue out at Xeala and walked over to a seat as well. The rest of the class filed into the room eventually… Sakura and Ino had raced into class, Xeala learned this was the usual…

"Move it Blue-head! I'm sitting next to Sasuke today." Sakura said. Ino ran over and shoved Sakura.

"No, I am! Move your ass!"

"What. Did. You. Call. Me?" Xeala said and stood up to Sakura, inches away from her face. Sakura moved back a few inches, and Xeala sat back down.

"You little… little… brat! Get out of my seat!"

"YOUR SEAT?"

"Oh Sasuke, who would you prefer sit next to you today?"

Sasuke continued looking out the window and pointed to Xeala. Sakura and Ino dropped their jaws and stomped away, after stuttering many rude and forbidden words. Iruka finally arrived at around 8:30.

"WHERE'S NARUTO!?" He screamed out to the class. Everyone looked at him except Xeala, who was busy looking out the window.

"Why don't you look on the Hokages?" She said and pointed out the window. The entire class turned around and rushed to the window. Iruka grumbled under his breath, and ran/stomped out of the room. Xeala put her head down again, and Sasuke put her backpack on her head.

"The snoring has stopped." Sasuke said with a tone of slight happiness. He turned around and looked back out the window.

**Alright that's it for that chapter, sorry I'm not writing too much I've been having CAPT everyday…er… practice CAPT…but it still counts so bleh. Review and I'll update soon!**


	11. Ninja Academy problems

**DUN DUN… DUN DUN… DUN DUN **

**TIME FOR CHAPTER ELEVEN!!!  
**  
Sakura looked at Ino. Ino looked at Sakura. They both had a _WE MUST DESTROY THE BLUE ONE!_ look on their faces… if that's proper English… Sakura tiptoed…so discreetly in front of the entire class, over to Ino, where they began plotting.

"I hate to say this, but _we_ have to get rid of that Xeala." Sakura said quietly.

"I know… she's gonna be in the way of getting to Sasuke… for me…" Ino whispered to Sakura.

"HEY!" Sakura screamed at Ino.

"YOU WANNA START SOMETHING OR FIX THE CURRENT PROBLEM SAKURA?" Ino jumped up and screamed. No one bothered, or cared for that matter, to look at them. They all continued their side conversations that aren't important to this fic in any matter.

"Grrr… fine… but we need to get rid of her…"

"We can tie her up."

"There happens to be something called an escape jutsu, Ino."

"But she's not from this village. She doesn't even HAVE a village. What makes you think she knows it?"

"BRILLIANCE!!!" Sakura said and punched the air happily.

"I'M SO SMART!" Ino agreed and applauded herself.

"Let the plan commence!" Sakura said and pulled a piece of rope out of her bag thing, and Ino did the same. Oh so discreetly, in front of their ignorant class, they snuck to the back of the room.

"I bet I can get her down before you can Sakura." Ino said snobbishly.

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" Sakura said and began to formulate a plan. Ino turned away from Sakura and began working on her own plan as well.

Sasuke sighed back at his table with sleeping beauty next to him… I BET THAT'S WHAT HE'S THINKING TOO! OMG TIME TO INFILTRATE SASUKE'S MIND!!! HURRAH!

_What are those two _idiots_ doing!? They're not gonna get anywhere, the kid is like, almost… no… um… hm… not too far off… yeah that's good… not too far off of my level of fighting, she's really good, I mean I'm GREAT but she's… semi-good-great-slightly-medium-above-average-but-not-as-super-as-me… yeah that works… hmm… I could ruin their plans… but then I'd miss out of pretending to be emo looking out this window while secretly watching the catfight… hmmm… I say let them fight. Yep, then Sakura and Ino will get what's coming to them… heheheheeh… _

Gee Sasuke. Such complexity... And all along I thought you were brilliant. GUESS NOT! Ego-centric maniac. Psh.

"Sasuke…tell them to shut up…" Xeala said, nudging Sasuke's arm. Sasuke shook his head.

"No."

Xeala opened her eyes, lifting an eyebrow, "What?"

"I said no."

"Bastard." Xeala said, and dropped back to sleep. Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked back out the window. Sakura, from her position a few feet away from Ino, who was preparing her rope as well, began to move forward as if she would actually be able to sneak up on Xeala. Ino saw Sakura getting ahead of her, bit her lip, and moved up a little farther than Sakura. This had triggered the race. Sakura began tying a loop just big enough to pull a Xeala backwards on the end of her. Ino started doing…something... I dunno what… Xeala turned her head around and caught Sakura's line of sight.

"So Sakura. What are you intending on doing with that lasso? And you Ino, what are you doing over there?" Xeala asked and cocked her head to the side.

Sakura backed up a little, and Ino leapt at Xeala screaming, "Die!" Xeala did a quick seal, "Fire Style, Phoenix Flower Justsu!" And Ino and Sakura jumped out of the way, along with the rest of the class who was in the fire's path.

"THAT'S MY JUTSU!" Sasuke yelled and smashed Xeala over the head with her backpack.

"Yeah, well there are some things about me you just don't understand yet... nor that I understand… wow I'm confusing myself" Xeala said and dropped her forehead onto the table, then muttered a silent ouch. Sasuke scooted a little farther away from her. Moments later, an angry Iruka dragged a hog-tied Naruto into the classroom. He turned and started yelling at Naruto, who yelled back. Then he turned to face the class.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CLASSROOM!?!" Iruka screamed at them.

"XEALA DID IT." The entire class said and pointed at Xeala, except Sasuke who was already mad at her for stealing his jutsu. Iruka shook his head and said something under his breath, then stated blatantly, "Fine, because you missed it Naruto, everyone will review the transformation jutsu!"

"OH!!" The entire class said upsetly. Except for our odd ball back there…

"HURRAY TRANSFORMATION JUTSU HURRAH!!!" Xeala said and cheered.

Class, Iruka, and Naruto's faces – o.O…

Everybody slowly dragged themselves to the front of the classroom. Xeala jumped in line between Naruto and Shikamaru.

"Hey Shikamaru!" Xeala said and elbowed him. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and leaned back against the desk. Sakura transformed into Iruka, Iruka was pleased, Sasuke transformed into Iruka, Iruka was please again. Geeze, you'd think everyones gonna transform into him!

"Next, Naruto Uzumaki!"

Naruto stepped forward after mumbling to Ino and Shikamaru, then transformed.

Into his sexy jutsu…

Iruka flew backwards with a nosebleed… then screamed at Naruto, "CUT THE STUPID TRICKS, THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!!!!"

Xeala covered Shikamaru's eyes with her hand.

Naruto walked back to his seat.

"Alright, Xeala, your next…" Iruka said unhappily. Xeala smirked. _Heheh I'll knock them dead. _

"Transform," Xeala said after completing a hand seal.

_POOF SMOKE POOF! _

Xeala had done a perfect (of course!) transformation into Sasuke. Then began mocking Sasuke, who anime-veined in the back of the room and bit his lip.

"Little…gr…bitch…"

"…you transformed into Sasuke? Okay…" Iruka said, and checked Xeala's name off. Xeala un-transformed, then skipped to the back of the room and leaned over the desk in front of Sasuke.

"Did you see that Sasuke? Did ya?! I'm a cuter you than you are!" Xeala said and took her seat, watching the rest of the class finish up. Iruka began talking and talking and talking… bladyblahdyblah… then class ended. Iruka held Naruto back with the rest of the class.

"BYYYEEE NARUTO WE'LL SEE YOU AT HOME!" Xeala said, walking out of the room with Sasuke.

Ino and Sakura dropped their jaws, "WE?"

"Oh that's right! You don't know! Me…" Sakura and Ino bit their lips, "Naruto…" the two clenched their fists, "and…" they stepped forward angrily, "Sasuke. All together. All in one little house. Did I mention we shared the same bedroom?" Xeala said and winked. Sakura and Ino jumped at Xeala, who side-stepped out of the way, grabbed their ankles, and spun them into the concrete wall.

"TAKE THAT BITCHES!"

"XEALA THAT'S A FORBIDDEN WORD!"

"O.O RUN RUN AWAY!" Xeala sprinted out of the building, then jumped up, grabbed the edge of the roof, and flipped herself onto it. The class shuffled out talking about tomorrow's exam. Xeala listened to the conversations, trying to see if she could somehow get a clue on what the exam would be on. Eventually, Naruto walked out of the building with sudsy water in buckets, and a few washcloths. Iruka walked out, followed by a ninja with white-hair cut just above his shoulders.

"So Iruka, what's the exam going to be on. I'm gonna need to know if I'm helping you judge." Mizuki said.

"Well, I was thinking about making it on transformation, but we did that today… so… I argued with myself about it, and I'm going to have it on the clone jutsu."

"Oh really?" Mizuki said, then began walking in a different direction. Iruka ran ahead to catch up to Naruto. Xeala hopped off the roof, then was tackled to the ground by an angry Mizuki.

"YOU! WHAT DID YOU HEAR!"

"Hear? Hear about what? IS THERE A CHILI PEPPER EATING CONTEST OH MY GOD I LOVE CHILI PEPPERS!" Xeala said excitedly. Mizuki sighed a sigh of relief… then let Xeala go. She murmured under her breath, "Sucker." Then took off towards the ramen shop for lunch.

"YOU LIAR GET BACK HERE!" Miyuki said and took off after her.

Giggling, the _real_ Xeala laughed from on top of the roof.

"I bet he never would have thought about that one. Heheh, little does he know, I now know what he thinks I don't know so technically I am cheating but no one knows that so I'm still in the clear!" Xeala said, then jumped down to the ground softly. "PERVERT!" Xeala screamed in Mizuki's direction. (What, you know you were all thinking it!) She took a few steps towards home, then decided that lunch is the best thing in the world, and started walking towards the ramen shop. 

**Okay that's it for now… I'll write more soon… now that CAPT is over.**


	12. The true Xeala

**Dude… another chapter! Hurrah! Wooh.**

(…I don't think I've mentioned this…but, you pronounce Xeala's name ZEE-luh… kay…byz)

"Itachi?" The door to Itachi's room opened and shone light onto him. Itachi…who was sleeping like the lazy ass he is.

"What." Itachi replied and pulled his pillow over his head.

"We're discussing stuff now."

"Oh really?" Itachi asked with not a single hint of care in his voice.

"Yeah…welll… go to the damn meeting already…hn…" Deidara walked away from Itachi's room.

Five seconds later he walked back and slammed it really hard, so hard that Itachi would either have to get up and go to the meeting, or he would just sit in his bed trying to sleep for hours and hours on end. Then Deidara walked away towards the meeting room area place…thing. Since we don't know what that looks like yet...

"Damn that Deidara…always so rude…" Itachi said and rolled over in his bed, then looked over to his dresser, and a memory of Xeala sitting there rummaging through his stuff played through his mind, followed by a memory of Sasuke asking him random stupid questions a long time ago. Itachi never really spoke to him, just hit his forehead with his two fingers and apologized and what not. "Hn… that one shouldn't be there… I shouldn't care…" Itachi said, then looked back to his memories once more.

Memories of death.

Lots of deaths.

His (almost) entire clan's death.

_Hn…they were so stupid… none of them could stand a chance…_ Itachi rolled over again.

…_What if I didn't get them all? …no that's nonsense… of course I did. I'm Itachi… the prodigy. Of course I got them all. _

Itachi twisted his face into an Itachi-version of a smile, then crossed his arms and frowned hard.

…_or…did I?_ O/.\O!!! (YEY ITACHI EMOTE!)

**BACK IN KONOHA.**

"HIIIIIIII SASUKE AND NARUTO!!!" A happy voice chimed and wrapped both of them in a hug, pulling them out of their seats at Ichiraku Ramen.

"…Xea…la…" Sasuke said, grabbing her arm, attempting to pry it from his waist.

"Hi…Xeala…" Naruto whispered about to run out of air, due to Xeala's tightly-hug-you-so-you-suffocate hugging nature.

"HIYA!" Xeala said and smelled the air strongly. "Oh, this ramen smells so good!" Xeala threw the two backwards and jumped into Sasuke's seat. "Mmm…"

"Xeala you better not,"—Sasuke knelt on the ground where he had been flung—"Xeala… don't do it… you can get your own bowl of the same ramen…"

"…nah." Xeala said and spun around, grabbed Sasuke's bowl, and went head-on into the steaming soup. The others at the bar stared with a twitchy face. Within seconds, Xeala put the bowl down and Sasuke twitched.

_I paid for that too…_

"Thank you for buying me lunch Sasuke!" Xeala said and pat Sasuke on the head, then helped Naruto get up.

Fifteen feet away from the Ichiraku Ramen, Sakura and Ino were standing there like NOO!!!

"What does she have that I don't have?!" Ino said.

"Maybe looks in your case, but in my case, I can't tell why she's so much better!" Sakura stammered.

"I bet it's her boobs." Ino said and crossed her arms.

"O.O! YOU'RE RIGHT!" Sakura said, then looked directly at Xeala. Amazingly, they're just now noticing the B-cup that the twelve-year old has, "I bet that's it! She's probably a total whore! Just look at her!" Sakura pointed to Xeala, in her shredded black tube top, town purple mini-skirt, fishnet shirt, and tattoos on her legs. (that's called using words to make someone sound like a whore. Hehe. )

"XEALA YOU'RE A WHORE!" Ino shouted across to her. Xeala turned her blue-haired head in her direction.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" Xeala said, twitching, and cocked her head to the side with a fake smile on her face.

Sasuke looked up at her.

"Xeala…what... are you…"

"YOU. ARE. A. WHORE." Ino shouted, cupping her hands over her mouth to make it echo.

Xeala cracked her knuckles, then walked over to Ino, who lifted her fists to guard her face.

"You wanna tell that to my face?" Xeala asked, then held punched a fist into her open palm.

"Sure. You. Are. A. Whore." Ino said.

"Oh. And… that makes you…let's see… oh yeah… a hostel."

"A what?"

"A HOSTEL."

A near-walking Kakashi, but shh they don't know him yet, looked up from a book and looked around at hearing this, then looked back down again.

( …look it up…)

Xeala walked back over to Sasuke and Naruto, who had perched themselves back in their chairs, and leaned against the bar between the chairs.

"Xeala you realize the position you're sitting in makes it look like you're giving Sasuke and Naruto both—" Sakura was cut-off with an Ino-hand over her face, then they both stomped away in different directions.

"Xeala what are you doing down there?" Naruto looked under the bar-table-thing.

"ZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzz…" Xeala's head was resting on the side of Naruto's chair, while her backpack was propped up against Sasuke's chair.

"…she snores like a horse..." Sasuke said and covered his ears.

**END OF CHAPPIE! WHEEE! I'll type more soon… hopefully by the end of today. Yea I think that'll be a good goal. Anyway, REVIEW!**


	13. A day of cheaters

**I MAY REACH MY GOAL! THIS COULD BE UP SOON!! YEY! (self-motivation) **

**Time for chappy! WOO!  
**"…the suspense is killing me… literally…hn" Deidara said, his head resting on his hand, sitting in a chair, waiting to hear what Itachi's news was, which was taking too much time out of his life.

"Well, Itachi?" Another member asked.

"She didn't even get there until a few hours before I got there. She followed a bird…"

"WHO'S IDEA WAS IT TO LET HER JOIN?" Someone yelled out.

Itachi pointed to Deidara, then walked back to his room.

"Deidara…" Kisame growled.

"Hey hey I didn't know she's a klutzy airhead. But, if she is, she'll fit right in with them! All those stupid bakas can do is nothing, so if she's a complete airhead, no one will ever suspect a thing!" Deidara said, defending himself.

"Sasuke will." Itachi snarled back at him, then slammed his door shut.

"…he has a point… Sasuke is a very intelligent young ninja." Hm… let's go with… Sasori… said.

"Hn… he's prolly stupid," Deidara said and rolled his eyes.

Itachi walked back out of his room with his sword.

"What did you say."

"I said Sasuke is prolly stupid."

"::smacks Deidara:: You think I would leave him alive if he's stupid?!" Itachi snarled, "I would have killed him off with the rest of them!"

"How do you even know you killed them all?" Deidara asked, raising his left eyebrow.

"I know."

"OOOH SO YOUR MISTER EMO -AND- PSYCHIC TOO?"

"Bastard." Itachi said, and scratched Deidara.

"Ow."

"You don't know what you're saying, Deidara. They're all dead. Every last one of them."

"You left Sasuke alive."

"I had too."

"WHY?" Tobi asked blindly.

"TOBI DON'T GET INTO THIS!" Itachi growled, then stomped away to his room, slamming the door 4 times in a row to be bratty and emo.

"Tobi do something bad?"

"Yes…Tobi very bad." Sasori grumbled…then walked…er…crawled… back to his own room… AHH I DON"T KNOW WHAT HE DOES. So go flame me go ahead. I'm not sure yet.

"Oh Sasori don't hurt his feelings!" Deidara cried in defense of Tobi.

"Oh just go screw him already Deidara…" Sasori snarled before whatevering into his room.

"Sasori…" Deidara growled and slammed the door of his own room.

"TOBI BEEN BAD!" Tobi began sobbing into his hands.

The rest of the members shrugged and walked to their own rooms.

**Back to Konoha.**

_I can't believe Naruto made me drag this back… wait… why am I even doing this? I don't take orders from Naruto!! NEVER! _

…_but there's a lot of creeps in this town… it'd be safer if I dragged her home and left her there, then went to go practice for tomorrow. That's a good plan. I like it. I'm so good. Of course I am! _Sasuke thought all this proudly, while making hand motions with his free hand, since the other hand was dragging Xeala by her backpack. Most of the people who Sasuke passed, double-take… d… then started thinking things like _That Uchiha kid has finally lost it… _or _Wow. That's sad Sasuke. Really sad. You want to revive the clan THAT much? He even has to make the hand motions to himself to express his opinions! HE'S GONE INSANE! _Then the people walked away as quickly as they could.

Hehe.

"unh…OMIGOD WHERE AM I AND WHY AM I MOVING!?" Xeala screamed as soon as she woke up.

"Go back to sleep, your snoring FINALLY just ended…" Sasuke muttered under his breath, then lifted Xeala's backpack harshly.

'HEY THAT'S NOT NICE!" Xeala screamed and reached behind her, grabbing Sasuke's ankles out from under him. Sasuke threw/pushed Xeala's backpack in front of himself to break his fall.

Of course…

Attached to Xeala's backpack, is Xeala.

So…

Sasuke's on top of Xeala with his arms on either side of her shoulders to break his fall.

Oh dear lord I love messing with them. HEHEHE.

"SASUKE YOU FAT PERV GET OFF!" Xeala screamed and bent her knees up, then kicked Sasuke off… him flying back, A NEW RECORD!, INTO A CEMENT WALL!!

"YOU STARTED IT!" Sasuke yelled back.

"OH I STARTED IT? I REMEMBER YOU BEING THE ONE WHO DID THAT THING WITH THE BACKPACK!" Xeala yelled and slammed her fist into the dirt.

"WHY WOULDN'T I? YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!"

"YEAH WELL I MIGHT HAVE BEEN GONNA TELL YOU WHAT TOMORROW'S TEST IS ON!" Xeala yelled and covered her mouth quickly, then ran in the direction of the house.

"…what?" Sasuke murmured, then took off after Xeala.

"SASUKE WERE YOU AND XEALA JUST... JUST…OMIGOD!" Kiba yelled and ran off, probably to go tell everyone what he thinks he just saw.

"XEALA WAIT UP!" Sasuke yelled as Xeala turned a corner.

"WHY SHOULD I?!" Xeala screamed over her shoulder, then ran straight into a building, falling flat on her back.

"…Xeala… you idiot," Sasuke said and ran over to her, "Xeala? Xeala?" Sasuke nudged her with his shoe, "Xeala are you dead?"

"No but I've sustained a head injury… a massive head injury…"

"So…you've got a hangover?"

"FROM The WALL?"

"Yes. Now what were you saying about the test tomorrow?"

_I will do super-great if I know! Know one shall be able to beat me! NO ONE! NOOO ONE! RAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I WILL KICK ITACHI'S ASS WITH MY PWNING SKILLZ OF SASUKENESS! I WILL KILL HIM! KILL HIM!!!!!! _

Sasuke twitched and smiled a twitchy smile.

"…Sasuke you scare me…" Xeala said, rubbing her head and sitting up. She got up, while Sasuke was having his mind rant, and walked into the house.

"hehehehehe… Xeala?" Sasuke looked around confused, "wait Xeala no come baaaack!" Sasuke ran into the house as Shikamaru passed by.

"Hey Sasu-"—Sasuke slammed the door shut—"…fine be rude." Shika put his hands in his pockets and continued walking.

"I'M NOT TELLING YOU!"

"WHY? SCARED YOU'LL FAIL!"

"NO I WON'T! I KNOW MORE JUTSUS THAN ANYONE IN OUR CLASS!"

"Oh. Yes. Of course." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I DO TOO!"

"Then let's see the one you plan on using tomorrow!" Sasuke replied cleverly.

"Fine then, clo-HEY THAT'S NOT NICE!"

"Mmhmm." Sasuke walked to the bedroom and ran in, slamming the door shut.

"HEY I SLEEP IN THERE TOO!" Xeala rammed against the door.

"Not unless you teellll meee." Sasuke whispered tauntingly through the door.

"Grrr… fine… the test is on the clone jutsu. NOW LET ME IN!"

"Sure thing." Sasuke moved away from the door, and Xeala charged it down, sending them both flying.

"…why does this always happen?" Xeala asked from underneath Sasuke's ass.

"I'm perfectly fine," Sasuke said, sitting unscathed on Xeala's back.

"Well whoop-de-fucking-do. Get off."

"Make me." Sasuke smirked, starting another challenge up.

"Oh I'll make you." Xeala said, fidgeting under him.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting undressed," Xeala replied calmly.

"WHAT?" Sasuke jumped off of Xeala's back, who had only been squirming around so he'd ask her.

"Ha, I win."

"That's not fair! You clearly used seduction to get me off. That's cheating!" Sasuke yelled harshly.

"Yeah, but it works," Xeala winked and walked out of the room, "By the way, mister honest mc-honest pants, we're cheating on tomorrow's test. Just thought I'd rub that into your brain a little more."

"…grrr…" Sasuke clenched his fist and went over to his bed, sitting down and leaning against the wall.

-An hour later-

"::yawn:: Oh I'm so glad I took that bath!" A soaking wet towel-clothed Xeala said walking into the room.

"YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE LIKE THAT!" Sasuke held his hands up to his eyes, and as all guys do, opened a crack between his middle and ring fingers.

"I can tell your looking at me," Xeala pronounced, "That's why I thought ahead of time." Xeala removed the towel, and thankfully, was clothed in a black cami and grey shorts.

"What's with you an black?"

"What's with you and hating Itachi?"

"…you wouldn't understand. You weren't there. You don't even know what happened."

"Try me," Xeala said and sat down on the floor cross-legged, awaiting a story soon to come.

**THERE I DID IT! TWO IN ONE DAY! WHEE! Hopefully, with the amount of sugar and caffeine I'm on, I'll get another on by midnight. WOO! Review!!**


	14. A 'rude' awakening

**Okay next chapter let's cut the intro-crap for now. R & R. **

"Omigod… I had no idea!" Xeala said, hands over her mouth. _Why do I feign almost everything I do near these people. I knew plenty well about the clan. That's something they'll find out a long time from now though. A very, very, long time from now. I'm not even going to tell them before I tell someone else… Maybe Deidara would like to know… but he might tell Itachi… Itachi would kill me then… or Sasuke… or Naruto… or someone close to me. That's what they're good at… and now I'm supposed to be too. Oh god this is going to be the death of me… _"Poor Sasuke!" Xeala pulled Sasuke into a pity-hug, ripping him off his bed.

"…Xeala… I appreciate your sorrow, but please let go, before I make a comment like Ino's… cuz right now I'm going to suffocate from them," Sasuke said quietly.

"Wha? O.o OH," Xeala let go of Sasuke, "eheh…sorry… I'm a very emotional being… not too complex if you haven't noticed…"

"Eh…" Sasuke looked out the window.

"What did I miss?!" Naruto announced, jumping into the room. His eyes locked onto the two sitting almost on top of each other, "…never mind… I don't think I want to know…" Naruto said, quietly going over to his bed.

"Naruto! I would never degrade myself to the level of Sasuke! That's despicable!" Xeala yelled, nudging Sasuke to start a 'false' argument and convince Naruto that nothing really did happen.

"Naruto are you insane? Look at her! She's disgusting!" Sasuke said, faking a gag.

"…yeah you're right Xeala, Sasuke's no where near hot enough for a girl," Naruto said smartly.

"Well, now that we're all focused on yelling, Naruto, I know what tomorrow's test is on." Xeala said, smiling a wide grin.

"WHAT!?" Naruto fell out of his bed, crawling over to Xeala, "Oh merciful Xeala, spare pity on me and please tell me what it is!"

"The clone jutsu," Xeala said, crossing her arms and lifting her nose like she had some sort of almighty power bestowed upon herself.

"O.O! THAT'S MY WORST JUTSU!" Naruto yelled in her face.

"…I'm aware of that…"

" Xe-Xeala… will you please help me get practice?" Naruto asked with teary eyes.

"Not on your life." Xeala said, and jumped onto her bed.

"Fine." Naruto said, and begin trying to create clones. Sasuke resorted to sitting on his bed and staring at him, quite amused, though not showing his amusement in anyway noticeable.

"Naruto, you'll never pass the test with that." Xeala said, shaking her head from side to side. "You need shadow clones." Xeala said like she knew what she was talking about.

"Shadow… clones?" Naruto turned his head with a confused look.

"OOPS!" Xeala covered her mouth, "Let that one spill too quickly…eh… well, yeah… shadow clones would be cool to call a jutsu, wouldn't it? . ; . ; "

"I guess…" Naruto said, and went back to practicing his jutsu. Xeala rolled onto her side and went to sleep. Sasuke watched Naruto for five more minutes after Xeala went to sleep, then he went to sleep himself.

_Come on Come on! I've got to get this right! I have to become a ninja! Then I can be the hokage! Believe it! _

"Naruto… stop trying so hard… you're going to fail anyway." Xeala said in her sleep. Naruto dropped his head and changed into his pajamas, then went into his bed upset.

"WAKE UP MR. EMO!!" Xeala said, jumping directly onto Sasuke's stomach.

"OW! XEALA WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Sasuke screamed and pulled her ankle out from under her, forcing her to crash to the floor. Xeala got up and brushed off some dust.

"Today's the test!" Xeala said and put her hand on her hips, as if she were to receive some prize for knowing and blatantly stating the obvious.

"…" Sasuke looked out the window, "…IN ABOUT 6 HOURS!"

"Oh no I painted the window black. It's really 6:30, so let's go get food," Xeala said, pulling Sasuke out of his bed by his arm, then dragging him out to the kitchen. Naruto was eating ferociously at a buffet-style breakfast.

"HOW EARLY DID YOU GET UP XEALA?" Sasuke asked, gasping.

"Oh… 1:30…" Xeala said and looked down modestly, "Oh well, eat up! Breakfast is only available until I start cleaning!"

"Are you my nanny now?" Sasuke asked smirking, then sitting down and devouring food. Naruto and Sasuke locked eyes. Xeala jumped up on the table.

"ON YOUR MARK! GET SET! EAT!" Xeala waved her hand through the air like a racing flag. Naruto and Sasuke began eating the food in a hasty manner. "God I didn't think you'd all eat it that fast… leave some for me!" Xeala said, grabbing a bowl and filling it with scrambled eggs and home fries. "Mmm… fooooood…" Xeala began eating calmly, meanwhile Naruto and Sasuke competed to see who could eat more faster.

"You two are so predictable." Xeala said.  
**Okay end of chapter… end of chapter. **

**Yeap. Okay now I gotta install a new hard drive on the comp and who knows how long that'll take…I'll update soon…**


	15. A very very long chapter

**Okay so here's the new chapter everyone!**

Xeala laughed as Sasuke and Naruto sat on the floor moaning about their full stomachs. Throwing her head back to laugh, something black and clear dropped from her face. She looked around, then screamed, covering her eye and searching the floor for something. Naruto and Sasuke jumped up.

"Xeala! What is it what's wrong?!" Naruto exclaimed loudly, looking around on the floor for nothing in particular.

"Xeala? You okay?" Sasuke asked confused

"No. I'm not okay alright?! Just help me... err... no don't help... just go on I'll be there..." _That was close, they could figure it all out if they see my eye... oh no oh no what do I do... grrr... _Xeala continued searching the ground, apparently distraught and slightly fearful of Sasuke and Naruto finding something. Sasuke caught something in the corner of his eye, then bent down to pick it up.

"Hey Xeala I think this is what yo..." Sasuke held a black-grey contact (for eyes) in his hand, then looked at Xeala, "Xeala? Why...do you wear colored contacts?"

"...uh...uh...uh...uh...cuz...cuz...cuz... um..." _SHIT HE KNOWS I'M FUCKED! THEN ITACHI'LL FIND OUT AND I'LL BE DEAD FOR SURE! NOOOOOOOOOO! OH GOD THIS ISN'T GOOD SOMEONE HELP HELP HELP! _Xeala thought quickly as to try and think of an excuse to the red behind her hand, but Xeala closed her eye and uncovered it, "Thank you Sasuke."Xeala bowed and quickly swiped the contact from his hand, then ran across the room to her bathroom.

"...do you understand a single thing that happens in this house?" Sasuke asked Naruto confusedly.

"If I understood what that loser says, I hope you would to," Naruto said and walked out of the house. Sasuke frowned. _She's hiding something. She's BEEN hiding something since the moment she walked into this town... stupid girl... they're all so stupid! _Sasuke walked over to Xeala's bathroom door, then slammed his fists against it.

"Xeala. Why are your contacts colored blackish?"

"CUZ THEY'RE PRETTY!" Xeala said from inside, then flung the door open, "How do they look?" Xeala said, pointing to her eyes and batting her lashes.

"Fine." Sasuke turned around and began walking out of the house. _I should have known... all girls and beauty... just... some don't realize they don't need to worry about anything..._

_WHAT? HELLO SASUKE! EARTH TO SASUKE! CAN YOU READ ME!? YOUR GOALS ARE TO REVIVE YOUR CLAN AND KILL ITACHI. DO YOU READ ME?_

_Understood conscience._

_Good, you've got no time to worry about girls. _

_THEN HOW DO I REVIVE THE CLAN?_

_...that is a good question. A very good question. One you should ask someone with more than the same brain of you. _

_I KNEW IT. You lie! Liiiiiiar. _

_I am not lying. I'm just stating the facts. _

_Bubye. _

_DON'T YOU ZONE OUT ON ME! _

"HEY SASUKE!" Xeala yelled, running after him and putting her hands on his shoulders, then jumping over his head, like a kindergartner playing leapfrog, "You ready for that clo"-Sasuke covered her mouth quickly, as Iruka was walking by some fifty-odd feet away.

"Shut up or we'll never get to be Genin," Sasuke stated coldly.

"Ooooh," Xeala shivered fakely, "So scary! I'm prolly Ju-whatever level it is myself. Heck I could prolly be one of the Legendary Sannin."

"Oh really?" Sasuke asked and raised an eyebrow as Xeala began her rant. Sasuke cracked his knuckles silently behind his back, as Xeala kept walking and talking, making gestures with her hands. Xeala spun in a circle, then wobbled a little. Sasuke took his opening, launching a tickle attack on Xeala's slightly-exposed-through-a-fishnet waist.

"EEEEEEEEEE!" Xeala screamed and began laughing insanely, "SASUKE STOP TICKLING ME!" Xeala fell down and began rolling around as Sasuke continued to tickle her. He jumped up abruptly and began running in the direction of the Ninja Academy. "Hehe... hey...wait..."

"FIRST ONE TO THE ACADEMY WINS!" Sasuke yelled back over his shoulder.

"DAMNIT YOU CHEATER! YOU TRICKED ME!!"

"NO I DIDN'T I TOOK MY OPENING LIKE ALL GOOD NINJAS DO!" Sasuke spat back at her for calling him a cheater.

"CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER!" Xeala yelled and jumped on the wall to the side of her, then propelled herself off of it to the next wall, continuing to semi-fly like this until she caught up to Sasuke, running almost parallel to him.

"Hiya Sasuke!" Xeala said, smiling, and waved.

"You... little..." Sasuke bit his lip.

"I bet I can beat ya!" Xeala joked...or did she?

"I'LL BEAT YOU!" Sasuke ran ahead of her. Xeala looked at him, shocked that he would accept an offer from the devil...hehehe... Xeala leapt forward with a burst of energy, literally jumping, and jumped ahead of Sasuke.

"I'm gonna beat you!" Xeala said, and made an L with her right hand, shaking it at him.

"I'm no loser." Sasuke said, and Xeala raised an eyebrow. Then slammed into a building.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!" Xeala cried, then launched at Sasuke.

"Who's the loser now?" Sasuke sidestepped and kept running.

"H-HEY! NOT FAIR!" Xeala rubbed her head, then quickly jumped up, became dizzy, then started jogging, slowly working into a sprint. "SASUKE!" Xeala yelled, biting her lip, then put a little more energy into chasing him down.

"I'M GONNA WIN AND YOU KNOW IT! GIVE UP!" Sasuke yelled at her, then turned a corner, with Xeala in hot pursuit. Sasuke panted heavily and ran towards the Academy.

Pop quiz : If you go to a school for a few years... would you hopefully remember where the door is?

I would hope so.

Too bad Sasuke can't think clearly when racing.

Sasuke slammed into the glass next to the door to the Academy, falling straight on his back. Xeala laughed, then sprinted closer to the door. Sasuke inched up to it. Xeala was almost there.

Just as Xeala put her foot in the Academy, Sasuke dragged his head through the doorway.

"Hah... ::pant::pant::pant:: tie." Sasuke said and lifted himself up.

"Yeah... whatever... I GET THE EMO SEAT!" Xeala announced, shooting her hand in the air to make it more of an enthusiastic thing, then ran/turned around, straight into a wall, face-planting herself into it, and her face then slid down the side of the concrete. Sasuke did his little hmph thing and walked to his seat by the window. Xeala dragged herself to her seat next to Sasuke and curled up on the wood.

"Are you dead?"

"Slightly..." Xeala had a black eye from that wonderful little face-wall incident. Oh. Just so you all know, Xeala is only able to automatically recover from anything that pierces her skin. Like needles and kunai and swords, for example. But if she were to... as we just saw, face-plant into a wall, she'd still be affected by it, making her... norm-...WAIT THAT'S WRONG... have an ounce of normalness.

"Well that's always good," Sasuke said, messing up Xeala's hair.

"Sasuke stop messing my hair up!" Xeala yelled and bit his hand.

"LET GO!" Sasuke screamed, trying to free his hand.

"No!" Xeala said somehow...

"Grrrrrrr!" Sasuke pulled his arm upward and Xeala's body went upward, so Sasuke took the opportunity to shake her off, straight towards the ceiling. Xeala's back hit against the ceiling and she slammed down on the standing desk two rows behind Sasuke, with her fists clenched.

"THAT HURT!" Xeala barked.

"SO DOES BEING BITTEN!" Sasuke jumped up about to use his Phoenix Flower Jutsu.

"LIKE YOU WOULD EVEN DARE!" Xeala yelled, then swung backwards behind the desk.

"THAT'S NOT GONNA STOP ME!" Sasuke yelled and jumped towards the desk. Just as he leaned over, Xeala swung her feet into his face, and he flew backwards into the chalkboard.

"BASTARD!" Xeala yelled at him as he stood back up, "PHOENIX FLOW-"

"WAIT NOT THE CHALKBOARD!" Sasuke yelled and threw his hands up.

"..you're right I can't pay for that..." Xeala said rubbing the back of her head, "quick go outside!"

"ARE YOU INSANE!? YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY SO I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE AND LET YOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME?"

"...yes."

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT!?!?"

"Because..." Xeala sat on the edge of the table, then brought her hand up and pointed to herself with a pouty face, "you love me?"

"...You're really crazy." Sasuke said, then stood up straight.

"Damn that works on everyone else..." Xeala growled and swung back to her seat, "I'm gonna go train for a while... you wanna come?"

"But... the test is today... if we're late we'll be in a lot of trouble, we might not graduate!"

"...then... let's train outside!" Xeala pointed out the window to the small grassy area outside the academy.

"Fine." Sasuke said and walked slowly over.

"Mmhmm. Yep. You love me," Xeala said and winked, then opened the window and hopped out. Sasuke, being Sasuke, took the door. Xeala jammed her head in the doorway as he walked out, and he almost crashed into her, "You coming or not!??"

"Yeah yeah." Sasuke rolled his eyes. Xeala giggled and walked over to the middle of the grass, then lay down on the ground.

"Why the hell did you lay down? I thought we're training, not watching you take a nap!" Sasuke yelled at her.

"We are training, now come here! Stand behind my head with your feet in line with my shoulders, you'll see, this is really good for getting muscle in arms or legs, depending on which person you are." Xeala said, then made a fist and cracked her knuckles.

"...O...kay..." Sasuke said, and walked over to where she was, "and you're sure this is good training?"

"Have I ever not been sure?"

"I've known you for about three days."

"Well then it's settled," Xeala said smiling, "Okay, now you have to try and push my legs down to the ground, and I have to try to keep them up. Okay?" (This is actually very good as a workout to buildup muscle, I've done it and it's addicting... hehe... but that's only cuz I'm a blackbelt... hheheheheheh) Xeala lifted her legs up straight.

"Wait... what do I do?"

"TRY TO THROW MY LEGS DOWN YOU SLOW IDIOT!" Xeala said and scratched his ankle.

"Ow... fine!" Sasuke grabbed Xeala's ankle and pushed it as hard as he could.

"...And you're taking your test to become a Genin today??!?" Xeala laughed, easily fighting Sasuke's attempts.

"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS!?" Sasuke asked/yelled.

"Uh." Xeala did a replace

" . I'm so confused." Sasuke asked, now laying on the ground.

"Just try to keep your legs up," Xeala said, then grabbed one of his ankles and pushed it almost down to the ground, "and that children, is why Xeala wakes up so early." ment jutsu effortlessly.

"...you know what I'm not talking to you until after the test." Sasuke said and got up to walk back inside.

"WEAKLING! YOU'RE GETTING UP WITH ME FROM NOW ON MISTER I'M THE BEST EVER! AND WE'RE GONNA TRAIN TIL YOUR HAIR FALLS OUT!" Xeala yelled, then chased after him.

"..."

"Oh you're not gonna be able to keep that up," Xeala said, then sat down. And they sat there. For quite a few hours.

"GET HER AKAMARU!" Kiba screamed from outside the open window, and a small pale dog jumped onto Xeala's half-asleep head.

"AHHH MUTANT RAT GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" Xeala screamed, and Akamaru whined sadly, then walked depressedly back to Kiba.

"Oh Xeala you hurt his feelings!" Kiba said and held Akamaru closely, "It's okay, mean old Xeala the witch isn't gonna bother you anymore."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" Xeala yelled, slamming her hands flat onto the desk and screaming at him. Kiba yelped and ran outside the academy to wait for backup. Xeala sighed and sat back down. A few moments later, Hinata and Neji walked in.

"Hi Hinata!" Xeala called and hopped over to her. Neji growled silently.

"Hi... Xeala?" Hinata said softly.

"Yep! Now..." Xeala guided Hinata to a corner, "I understand," Xeala looked over her shoulder to check if the coast was clear, "that you have a secret crush on someone in this classroom, and unlike the sluts of the class, it's _not _Sasuke."

"O.O" Hinata blushed harshly.

"DUDE I LOVE YOU!" Xeala said and hugged Hinata tightly, "I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE DOESN'T ACTUALLY LOVE THAT EMO BAG OF SHIT!" Xeala said happily. Hinata smiled weakly, most likely losing oxygen. Neji raced over.

"XEALA LET GO OF HER!" Neji said and hit her in the head.

"OW!" Xeala retreated back to her desk to avoid further abuse.

The rest of the class finally came. Since I'm to lazy to type how Xeala glared all the girls down and away from Sasuke, and how completely overjoyed Sasuke was at this, and how Sakura and Ino fought again, and again... LET'S GET TO THE PART WHERE IRUKA WALKS IN!

So.

Iruka walked into the classroom with a paper in his hand.

"We will now start the final exam. When your name is called, proceed to the testing room. The final test will be on... the clone jutsu."

Naruto grabbed his face and bit his lip, _THAT'S MY WORST TECHNIQUE! EVEN XEALA'S TRAINING LAST NIGHT DIDN'T HELP! GAHHH!! _

"We will begin testing in Alphabetical order... uh... Xeala what's your last name?" Iruka asked, shrugging.

"UHHH... UM... I... DON'T... HAVE ONE?!?" Xeala said nervously. _OH MY GOD I'M GONNA BREAK IF PEOPLE KEEP GETTING AT ME LIKE THIS! SOMEONE'S GONNA FIND OUT! _

"Seriously? So are you like, someone's disowned bastard child?!" Ino yelled at her.

"INO YOU FAT PIG!" Xeala barked and was about to launch at her.

"Oh...well then you're last."

"GREAT." Xeala barked at him.

"HEY! BE RESPECTFUL TO YOUR ELDERS YOUNG LADY!"

"..." Xeala growled and sat down, "Sasuke wake me up when you go." Xeala said and dropped her head onto the table. Seemingly moments later, Xeala was hit on the head with her backpack, and she looked up as Sasuke walked past.

"..."

"Yes I know you hate me, but you secretly love me somewhere deeeep deeep deep deep down." Xeala said and gave him the thumbs up sign, "Now go pass so I can kick your ass afterwards, okay?"

"..." Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked into the testing room. Xeala looked around, Ino and Naruto being the only people left.

"Wow this is weird..." Xeala said, as Naruto's name was called, "Good luck..." She said under he voice, and turn around so she wouldn't have to look at Ino. Xeala perked up her ears, then scooted to the front row of the room, just in time to hear Iruka's exclamation to Naruto.

"YOU FAIL!"

Xeala cringed and shook her head, "Damn, Naruto..." Ino was called, and Xeala exchanged a harsh glare with her "Baka," Xeala murmured under her breath.

Minutes later, they called Xeala in. Xeala smirked, knowing everything that was about to happen. She'd walk in, they'd have her do the 'jutsu' then she'd pass, even though she'd do the... how to put it... 'wrong'... jutsu. OOPS I may have given the chapter away... Xeala walked in and stood in the middle of the room.

"Okay, let's get this test over with, oh, and when I pass, do you have those headbands in black?" Xeala asked smirking, then put her right hand in front of her left, her first and second finger sticking straight up, and her left hand the same, except sideways. Xeala, " ...CLONE JUTSU!" Xeala said, and the room filled with about 20 odd Xealas.

"..." Iruka and Mizuki were taken aback, and Iruka looked around at the clones, then got up to further examine them.

"Hello Iruka-sensei!" One of the clones said to Iruka. Iruka nodded, then put his hand on the clones shoulder, believing it to be the real Xeala.

"Good job Xeala." Iruka smiled.

"Umm... I'm over here!" Xeala said from near the door. Mizuki gasped and got up, then went over to another one of the clones and poked it.

"Xeala, I'm going to ask you one question." Iruka said, biting his lip. Xeala called off the jutsu, frowning slightly, "Where the hell did you learn that jutsu!?" Iruka almost yelled at her.

"I dunno." Xeala shrugged.

"The test was on the clone jutsu."

"Yep. So I did the clone jutsu."

"No. You didn't."

"Okay well I did the _shadow_ clone jutsu, but it's still _A _clone jutsu!" Xeala argued. Iruka shook his head, and Mizuki smirked quickly, then frowned to cover up the smirk.

"WHY ARE YOU SMIRKING OVER THERE!" Xeala pointed to Mizuki, who took a step backwards.

"I-I'm not smirking! I'm frowning!" Mizuki said to back himself up, "f-ro-w-n-i-n-g."

"I THINK YOUR PLOTTING AGAINST THE VILLAGE!"

"XEALA! I WILL NOT HAVE SUCH INSOLENCE IN MY CLASSROOM! TAKE YOUR BLACK FOREHEAD PROTECTOR AND LEAVE! YOU PASS!" Iruka yelled and thrust the headband into her hand. ( I give up on typing forehead protector...) Xeala took the headband and walked towards the door, the spun around and put two fingers to her eyes, then shifted them to point at Mizuki's eyes.

"I'm watching you." Xeala hissed, then ripped the ties off of her heaband, reaching into one of the pouches on her belt, pulled out four safety pins, then putting a safety pin on each corner of the remaining two centimeters of cloth on the headband, pinned it to the middle of her black-brown belt. " 'Tis a day for celebration, for Xeala has passed her Genin exam!" Xeala announced as she walked out of the academy. Group of parents were congratulating their children, and Naruto was sitting on a swing alone, looking depressed. Xeala looked around, and walking back in the direction of home was Sasuke. Xeala perked up her ears.

"There, you see him?" A snooty voice said.

"It's that boy! I heard he's the only one who failed!" A softer voice said.

"Hn! Well it serves him right!"

"Just imagine what would happen if he became a ninja! I mean he's the boy who-"

"SH! We're not allowed to talk about that!"

Xeala walked over with a drunken smile on her face, her fist twitching insanely, and her entire body about to explode with rage.

"I'm... sorry. Did you just complain about my friend?!" Xeala asked the two women. One of them stepped back a step. Xeala opened her eyes, then reached up and took one of her contacts out. "DO YOU WANT TO REPEAT WHAT YOU SAID? OR SHOULD I REPEAT IT FOR YOU!?" _YOU IDIOT DON'T DO IT YOU'LL BE MURDERED ON THE SPOT! STOP! _Xeala put her contact back in, then punched both women square in the face, they fell to the ground crying. Xeala turned her attention to Naruto, then decided if she interfered, things would get worse.

But if she didn't...

Mizuki... would...

Xeala shook off the feeling... or more of a 'thought'... then waved to Naruto, who looked up gloomily, then ran off. Xeala bowed her head. _I am gonna feel so bad in the morning. But... wait a minute... I'M NOT LETTING HIM BE THE FIRST ONE TO MAKE A KILL! _Xeala clenched her fist, then ran up a few yards behind Sasuke, who didn't seem to notice her, was walking with his hands in his pockets. Xeala measured the distance between her and him, and the distance between his arms and his sides, with her mind. Xeala quietly sprinted the remaining distance and jumped onto his back, her legs sliding into the gaps between his arms and body.

"Damnit Xeala!" Sasuke said and dropped her immediately, "As if I don't have enou-where's your headband?"

"HERE!" Xeala said, jumping out of the dirt and pointing to the belt-mounted headband.

"...So it's your belt now?"

"Yep." Xeala said and put her hands on her hips, walking next to him.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Mocking you."

"STOP!"

"Fine." Xeala crossed her arms and flipped her hair in front of her face. Sasuke was taken back.

"YOU CAN DO THE EMO HAIR FLIP!?"

"OH HELLZ YEAH!" Xeala yelled excitedly.

"PLEASE TEACH ME!" Sasuke pleaded with her.

"...mmm...maybe. IF YOU CAN FIND ME!" Xeala said and disappeared instantly. Sasuke blinked, then looked around in every direction, then ran off towards home.

**WHEW. THAT WAS A LONG CHAPTER. OMIGOD THIS IS GONNA TAKE ME FOREVER... **

**Much more sleeping Xeala to come... so I can get into the gooooooood episodes. **

**WHERE STUFF HAPPENS! WHEE!**


	16. Hair flip

**And now, WE BEGIN THE NEXT CHAPTER! HURRA! throws easter confetti everywhere dances like the five-year-old-in-a-14-year-old's-body she is **

Xeala had been hiding for a few hours, in the woods, in a tree, so Sasuke wouldn't even think she'd be there. He was probably at home, searching around hopelessly, looking under anything and everything he could find. Or he gave up and went to the ramen shop. ::shrug:: Don't ask me, I'm just the authoress. I don't control everything that happens in the story. Wait...YES I DO! HURRAY!

"Hehe..." Xeala laughed under her breath, then looked down into the branches below her. A determined-looking Naruto was running in the direction of... something... with a large cylinder thing... scroll most likely... on his back, "and the fun begins," Xeala said, rubbing her hands together contemplating (BIG WORD!) her plan. After a few minutes of waiting, Iruka ran by super uber fast. Xeala got up and jumped down out of the tree. Turning, she ran in the direction Naruto had run from. Seconds later, a insanely-happy looking Mizuki with two windmill... I forget what their called. "MIZUKI! DON'T YOU EVEN TRY IT!" Xeala yelled and pulled three kunai from her pocket, throwing them at Mizuki.

"You little brat! Now I'll have to eliminate you too!" Mizuki said, then tackled Xeala and held a kunai to her throat. Xeala giggled, perhaps out of fear and out of knowledge that she wasn't about to die from the kunai slicing her throat. "You're going to die." Mizuki said, and brought the kunai through her neck. Xeala laughed as her skin healed over almost instantaneously. Mizuki was confused, and jumped off of her. "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING STILL! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!"

"Yep. I _should_ be dead. Isn't that funny? That I'm able to not be killed aaaand I can do an-O.O NO MORE GIVING AWAY MY AWESOMENESS!" Xeala said, then jumped up, Mizuki laughed, then threw quite a few kunais, one caught her in the foot and went straight through to the ground, so her foot was sort of nailed into the ground.

"Get out of that!" Mizuki said, then ran off in the trees.

"Shit." Xeala said, then bent down to pull the kunai out of her foot. "Would you look at that?!" Xeala said, staring at the two kunais stuck into the back of her hand, "Amazing I didn't feel that earlier..." Xeala shrugged, then pulled the two out of her hand and slowly ripped the one out of her foot that was implanted into the ground. Xeala twitched. "O.O OH DEAR I FELT PAIN." Xeala examined her foot. "Urh... why did he have to bruise my skin..." Xeala bit her lip, then jumped into the trees to follow Mizuki, Iruka, and Naruto. "Hnn... where'd they-oh I hear him!"

"He'd say anythign to get the scroll from you!" Mizuki jumped down from the tree. Xeala ran to the edge of the trees. Mizuki was bothering Iruka, who...had one of those windmill things in his back.

"I bet that'd hurt if I had it in my back... and could feel it." Xeala said, then jumped down onto Mizuki as he attempted to jump away from Iruka.

"HI MIZUKI." Xeala said in an insane voice, then jumped backwards to Iruka as Mizuki flew off after Naruto.

"Iruka what are you going to do to stop him?" Xeala said, and held her hand on Iruka's back.

"I...don't know." Iruka said, then stood up straight, "Xeala what did you do?" Iruka asked.

" . . um... well I'll tell you after you go transform into Naruto and run through the trees to have Mizuki chase after you and leave Naruto alone and then WHOOPS I'VE SAID TOO MUCH!" Xeala smiled and jumped up into the canopy of the forest. Seconds afterwards, Naruto jumped up and began jumping through the trees like a fox... HEHEHE... similes are so fun! Especially when they make sense. Xeala began her trek back to the village. Within a few minutes, she found herself at the Ichiraku ramen shop, where a defeated looking Sasuke was being surrounded by many new Genin graduates.

"SASUKE LOOK I'M A GENIN TOO LOOK!" Sakura yelled happily. Sasuke sighed, then looked around the group. His eyes caught Xeala's.

"SHIT." Xeala started running, remembering her promise that if he could catch her she'd teach him the hair flip. Sasuke jumped down from his chair and grabbed Sakura, who looked so overjoyed for a minute it wasn't humanly possible, then threw her out of the way and chased after Xeala. Sakura began crying. The rest of the girls screamed at Sasuke like he would actually come back for them. Xeala kept running, then... tripped over her own two feet. Sasuke grabbed her and pulled her up backwards by her hair.

"TEACH ME THE HAIR FLIP!" Sasuke yelled into her face.

"...um...well... YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH HAIR!" Xeala said, then went on to say that if he had someone who looks almost exactly like him's hair, he could totally do it.

"Who are you talking about?!" Sasuke asked upset.

"It... Itachi... which... translates to weasel! WEASELS TAILS CAN FLIP PRETTILY! THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL!"

"..." Sasuke twitched and began walking home.

"Y-you know that I _was_ talking about the weasel... right? Sorry bout that, I... know it's hard to remember ou-your clan..." Xeala said running after him and rubbing the back of her head like the idiot she is.

"...sure." Sasuke said and rolled his eyes.

"God you hate me."

"When'd you realize that." Sasuke said...not asked.

"...Sasuke you know you'll kill him one day. I'll help you! I swear! I'll help you kill Itachi! We'll take him down! HE'LL BE DEADER THAN THE FIRST HOKAGE!" Xeala yelled and threw her fist in the air. Sasuke gave a weak smile. "See you don't hate me!" Xeala said and hugged Sasuke.

"Xeala get off." Sasuke said and began walking towards the ramen shop, "Or I'll make sure you don't eat another meal today."

"NOOOO!" Xeala fell to the ground and reached towards the sky like she was dying.

"...Get up. If you come now I might maybe pay for some of your ramen." Sasuke said and pointed to Ichiraku ramen.

"HURRAH!" Xeala jumped up and onto Sasuke's back.

"You stay on my back and I'll make sure you pay for BOTH of our ramen."

"Fine. TO THE RAMEN SHOP!" Xeala yelled and pointed over Sasuke's shoulder happily. Sasuke sighed.

"Fine. You're paying." Sasuke said and began walking to the ramen shop with Xeala on his back.

"OMIGOD SASUKE I LUV YOU!" A random female ninja yelled at him.

"SASUKE YOU'RE MY IDOL!" Another random girl said.

"SASUKE WOULD YOU MARRY ME!?!?" Ino yelled at the top of her lungs.

Xeala bent her head close to Sasuke's, "Hey Sasuke, wanna see them all faint?" Sasuke nodded eagerly. Xeala yelled over his shoulder.

"HEY YOU BITCHES YOU BETTER FUCK OFF OF SASUKE!" Xeala yelled. All of them put their hands on their hips.

"Why should we listen to YOU?" Sakura yelled.

"Glad that you asked." Xeala said. "Hey Sasuke you're a fat bastard!" Xeala whispered into his ear. Sasuke immediately flipped her over, Xeala caught his leg with hers and pulled him down.

Hence forth... the same bad situation as usual. All of the girls fainted. Xeala laughed and pushed Sasuke backwards off of herself.

"That was such a horrible trick," Sasuke said looking around, "...BUT IT WAS HILARIOUS!" Sasuke laughed at all of the girls who had fainted.

"Mm... yep," Xeala walked to the ramen shop, then sat down.

"You're still paying!" Sasuke said and sat down next to her.

"Yeah but at least Naruto's not here." Xeala said and smiled.

**THAT'S THE END OF THE CHAPTER! ...and the end of episode one... cries this is going to be over a hundred chapters long at this rate! MUST SPEED UP PRODUCTION! types faster and faster **


	17. Itachi, aka Akatsuki Hermes

**Nh... it's 9:56... still typing.. Hands hurting... so much hurting... pulsing... grrrr... grrrrrrrrr... must keep typing. **

"SASUKE WAKE UP!" Xeala yelled into Sasuke's face. Sasuke opened his eyes. _So... tired... what time is... damnit she's getting me up to train... great... that means it's like 1:30... I'M NEVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN! _

"...Do... I... have to wake up right now?" Sasuke asked quietly, pulling his pillow over his head.

"Fine. I'm sitting on you til you wake up." Xeala said and dug her bones into his ribcage.

"OKAY I'M UP NOW!" Sasuke rolled out of his bed. Naruto stirred slightly.

"You want him to wake up!?" Xeala yell/whispered.

"No. Not one bit." Sasuke said and crawled to the door.

"I already made food. Geeze I don't see why you people sleep so much." Xeala said shrugging and walking into the kitchen, completely dressed and ready for the day... at 1:30am.

"I'll kill you." Sasuke said and got off of the floor, then walked to a seat with a plate in front of it. "Why is this plate empty?" Sasuke said and picked the plate up off of the table, examining it for any trace of food.

"CUZ I DIDN'T PUT FOOD ON IT!" Xeala yelled and hit him with a spatula in the back of the head, "There." Xeala dropped about a pound of scrambled eggs onto his plate, then about two times that amount onto her own.

"Geeze no wonder you can keep going through the day." Sasuke said and began eating.

"Of course. I'm not like Sakura and Ino, all on diets to impress you," Xeala put her hands on her hips, and the spatula flung a piece of egg onto Sasuke's forehead.

"...Xeala."

"Uh... oops?" Xeala said and took her plate onto her lap, walking over to the window.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked after taking a giant amount of food.

"Watching." Xeala said, now acting as a window sentinel.

"For?"

"Anything, anyone, everything, and everyone." Xeala said and turned around, then began devouring her food.

"...right." Sasuke returned to his own food. _OH MY GOD FOOOOOOOD! IT'S ACTUALLY MADE WELL TOO! UNLIKE MY HORRIBLE COOKING! HURRAY FOR FOOOOOOOD!_ What can I say? Sasuke's excited about food that's been properly cooked. In about a minute, Xeala threw her plate in the sink.

"You done?"

"Maybe." Sasuke looked at the half-finished plate of food.

"HAH. I bet you've never had a breakfast like THAT before hunh?!" Xeala said and stuck her own fork into his food and ate some.

"HEY THAT'S MINE!" Sasuke batted her hand away with his fork. He looked back down at the plate.

"You're not gonna finish that are you." Xeala narrowed her gaze.

"Nope."

"TOO BAD!" Xeala grabbed his face and emptied the plate into his mouth, then closed it, holding his chin and nose so he wouldn't spit it back at her. "Chew and swallow or you'll pass out." Sasuke frowned, his face looking like a chipmunks, (WHEEE I LUFF THE CHIPMUNKS! ...I think I was attacked by one when I was younger actually...YEAH! I REMEMBER NOW!!) and he began chewing the immense amount of food. Slowly, oh so slowly, he finished eating.

"Now come on before the lightning bolt wakes up." Xeala said and slung her backpack over her shoulder and walked to the door. Checking to see if the coast was clear, probably to make sure no Akatsuki members were coming to kill her or whatnot, but Sasuke doesn't know that so there's no reason to him, she walked outside and began walking towards the training grounds.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked, walking after her, probably about to hurl.

"To the training area, there's no class of any sort today except for registration which can happen later, so we've got the _ENTIRE DAY TO TRAIN._" Xeala said and rubbed her hands together maniacally. Sasuke had gained a horrified look on his face.

"_ARE YOU INSANE!?" _Sasuke yelled into her face.

"Mmm...slightly," Xeala said and began walking to the training grounds. _Oh dear... what if my contacts fall out?! ...nah that won't happen. _"So Sasuke, can you teach me how to do those kunai throwing technique things you're so good at?" Xeala asked, folding her hands behind her back and leaning backwards to look him in the eye.

"...sure... I guess... I mean it's not like you're gonna get it immediately or do anything that would make me so upset that I'd have to kill you like I will Itachi someday." Sasuke began twitching.

"O-kay back away from the crazy man." Xeala did so, backing away from him, then giggled and began skipping to the training grounds, winding her way through the many buildings.

"... ::twitching::" after realizing he was standing all by himself in the middle of the street at 1:35ish... in the morning, Sasuke began to attempt catching up with skippy-mc-giggle-a-lot.

"Sasuke hurry up!" Xeala yelled behind herself. She turned a corner, then realized she was hopelessly lost. Jumping up on the rooftops of the houses, she jumped outside of the gate unnoticed. "Haha look at me I'm outside the gate ooooh scary gate it's gonna hurt me!" Xeala said and moved to poke the gate.

"Xeala." A cold tone said from behind her.

"AHHHHH TALKING GATE!" Xeala pointed to the gate and froze up in shock, her right leg bent up and left leg just bent, and left arm raised above her head, pointing to the gate, with the other clutching her left wrist.

"What is wrong with you?" The voice said again.

"YOU'RE A FUCKING TALKING GATE THAT'S WHAT!" Xeala barked at the gate.

"...turn around you twit."

"OH." Xeala turned around. "AH!"

"Oh my god I can't deal with you." Itachi said and slammed his head into the wall.

"Dude... horrible time. HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE TIME!"

"How is it such a horrible time? It's 1:37 in the morning. Nobody's up." Itachi said and pointed to the sky, the moon clearly visible.

"...eheh..."

"You. Have to be. The _stupidest_ person. I have _ever._ Had the misfortune to meet." Itachi said and held his head in his hand.

"...it gets worse..." Xeala said, rubbing the back of her head.

"...who'd you wake up?" Itachi shot her a glare.

"...errr... nobody... you know... just... Sasuke... who's looking for me this very second... nothing big."

"..." Itachi threw Xeala back into the wall, "well, stupid little child, what other smart moves have you pulled so far? Anything worth keeping you alive?!" Itachi hissed into her face.

"...I don't know actually... I know I always always _ALWAYS_ fight Sasuke everyday at least once, and that leads to getting stuck in awkward positions that have led to the assumptions of rumors beginning that we're 'together' together not just us living together and all I mean it is weird and all but yeah..."

"You are worthless. Why do they even send me out here to check on such a useless piece of shit!" Itachi said and punched the wall...gate thing.

"Cuz they love me!" Xeala smiled, then inched closer to the gate.

"You better stay as close to the Kyuubi as you can, do you hear me? Or we'll send someone else after you, hell I'll pay Orochimaru to kill you. And I know you hate his guts more than Sasuke hates mine."

"HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT!?"

"You're bestest buddy told me." Itachi said and disappeared.

"Man I gotta learn to do that!" Xeala said and slapped her knee. Realizing how stupid it is to stand outside the gate like that, Xeala ran back in and started darting from rooftop to rooftop to avoid getting lost again.

"GET BACK HERE!" A almost fainting Sasuke yelled from a random rooftop.

"NEVA!" Xeala yelled over her shoulder and kept running.

"COME ON! YOU DID NOT WAKE ME UP THIS EARLY FOR NO REASON! I COULD HAVE BEEN HAVING MY SICK LITTLE DREAMS!" Sasuke yelled, then covered his mouth.

"..." Xeala stares at him wide-eyed, "pervert." Xeala hopped onto a bunch of different rooftops hopping and hopping ad hopping. Sasuke caught up with her and stepped onto a loose roof shingle, unknowingly, Xeala was right in front of him, so he grabbed onto her hair and pulled her down.

"AHHHHHHHHH SASUKE!" Xeala said, falling down the side of the house.

"God, sorry." Sasuke said when he finally hit ground, and... Xeala landed on her ankle.

"Sasuke... you broke... my ankle..." Xeala grabbed onto Sasuke's arm to lift herself up.

"...Eheh..." Sasuke rubbed the back of his head nervously, then widened his eyes. He took a few steps to the side. Xeala fell on the ground.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! I DON'T REGENERATE FROM THOSE THINGS!" Xeala yelled, then groped the wall to lift herself up.

"Hehe... this is actually entertaining..." Sasuke said happily. (OMIGOD HE HAS FEELINGS O.O)

"Sasuke...when I get over there..." Xeala bit her lip and reached into one of her pouches, pulling a kunai out, then cut her ankle open. Looking up with a relieved look, she smiled her creepy insane smile.

"...WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO!" Sasuke said, pointing at the blood spatters on the ground, and the ankle that just healed itself.

"Well it's simple really. I have mutated genes so if I have a skin wound of any type, no matter how deep, I heal over almost instantaneously." Xeala said, then slammed her foot into the ground, pointing at Sasuke.

"NOW YOU DIE!"

"Shit!" Sasuke began running towards the training fields like Xeala had planned. After Xeala chased Sasuke to the training fields, who's titles seem to change during this fic, she pinned him down.

"TWO HUNDRED PUSH-UPS! NOW!" Xeala said, then kicked Sasuke onto his stomach.

"You're worse than a Sensei!" Sasuke said, and began the two hundred push-ups. Xeala crossed her arms and walked circles around him.

"Flatten your back! Widen your hands' spacing! That's too wide! NO TOO SHALLOW! AHHHH SASUKE YOU'RE HOPELESS! FLATTEN YOUR BACK AGAIN!" Xeala continued to shout harsh comments at Sasuke, who was sweating (literally) under pressure. He finished the two hundred push-ups.

Xeala jumped onto his back cross-legged.

"ONE HUNDRED MORE!" Xeala barked into his ear.

"ARE YOU INSANE!?" Sasuke flipped her over backwards, "I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO THAT MANY!"

"Sure. I do this daily," Xeala replied and kicked him off, "One hand and one leg?" Xeala put her left hand down on the ground and right leg down, then folded her right hand behind her back and lifted her right leg up. Then, in record time, Xeala did 300 push-ups.

"O.O" Sasuke stood gaping and staring like HOLY SHIT I CAN'T DO THAT! "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS?!"

"Since I was I dunno." Xeala shrugged, then rolled onto her back, spreading her arms out on the ground and taking a deep breath, "I just know that I've almost always done this. Probably since I was able to do work." Xeala sighed.

"You _are_ insane." Sasuke said, falling backwards into the grass.

"I'm not in the mood to train today." Xeala said, rolling away.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke lifted his head up.

"I'm gonna go roll down a hill." Xeala said. Then rolled down a hill.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?" Sasuke screamed at her.

"MAAAYYYYYBBBBEEEEEEE!!" Xeala said rolling over many sharp and pointy rocks, before finally rolling of the side of a small cliff. Sasuke sighed. _I _AM_ surrounded by idiots... _

"IT'S OKAY! I'M ALIVE!" A shout yelled from the place Xeala had fallen from.

"YOU-ARE-IN-SANE!" Sasuke said, after walking to the cliff and seeing a rock sticking through one of Xeala's arms, one rock through her stomach as well, "Do you need help?" Sasuke bent down, realizing someone would be about to die after that.

"Nope. I'm good," Xeala said, then slowly picked herself up, "the bone may take a few more milliseconds than usual to heal..." Xeala massaged the new skin on her arm, then looked at her stomach. "OH NO I'LL NEVER GET ANOTHER FISHNET FROM THAT DAMN WEASEL!" (We can all figure out who she means, sadly, Sasuke doesn't know anything! WHEE!)

"Shikamaru could give you one. Let's go wake him up rudely this second in time that is probably 2:00am..." Sasuke said and began walking out of sight.

"HEY HEY COME BACK!" Xeala scrambled to clime up the cliff, then jumped after Sasuke, "AHH SASUKE MOVE LOOK OUT LOOK OUT!"

"What?" Sasuke turned just in time to get slammed by a flying Xeala, straight in the face.

_Straight in the face. _

**Hehe. I wonder who'll figure out what that means. n.n REVIEW!**


	18. crash

**I should learn to sleep... hehe... **

_Straight in the face. _

Yes, Xeala had the unfortunate luck of flying into the people's faces. Sadly...

Her face flies into their faces when they don't move out of the way fast enough.

"Nh..." Xeala opened her eyes, her nose probably broken from crashing straight into Sasuke.

"O.O"

"O.O"

Sasuke opened his eyes and twitched, then moved his face backwards as fast as he could, crawling away from Xeala. Xeala spat onto the ground and ripped grass out of the ground, then washed her mouth out with the grass.

"Rule one, that never ever happened."

"Agreed."

"Good."

"That's it?" Sasuke asked, looking from the corner of his eye.

"And I'm not looking at your face for a long time, that was too close for comfort."

"There is no comfort in that which has just happened." Sasuke said, on his hands and knees about to throw up.

"OH I'M THAT BAD?" Xeala hit him in the back of the head. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"...gh..."

"Well, I'm going home and taking a bath. With bubbles. Lots and lots of bubbles," Xeala said and began walking.

"HEY! THE HOT WATER ONLY WORKS FOR ONE BATHROOM AT A TIME!" Sasuke yelled at her, then began running and passed her.

"NO FUCKING WAY DUDE I'M GETTING THE WATER!" Xeala took off racing him, almost side-by-side with him. They got to the house and got stuck in the doorway, trying to push the other out of the way, and Xeala turned on her side so Sasuke fell flat on his face. Xeala threw her tube top onto his face and ran to her bathroom.

"I'M BLIND!" Sasuke cringed and threw the tube top off of himself.

"OH SHUT UP I'VE GOT A FISHNET AND A BRA ON YOU BASTARD!" Xeala yelled as she slammed the door.

"I'M TAKING THE HOT WATER!" Sasuke jumped off the floor and ran into his own bathroom.

Both turned the water on at the same time, and got blasted with icy cold water.

"NARUTO!" Both screamed at the same time. Xeala wrapped a towel around herself and stomped out of her bathroom.

"NARUTO YOU GET OUT OF THE SHOWER THIS INSTANT!" Xeala pounded on his bathroom door, which was emitting steam. Sasuke slammed his own bathroom door with a towel around his waist. He looked up at Xeala, who caught his eyes.

"PERVERT!" Both screamed again, then walked in opposite directions.

"Naruto get out of the shower!" Sasuke yelled from his door, which he was facing.

"HURRY UP NARUTO!" Xeala hissed over her shoulder, facing her own door.

Naruto's bathroom door opened.

"Hey sorry guys I think I used all the water up. Hehe, no biggie right?" Naruto asked, then ran to the bedroom.

"GREAT!" Xeala hissed again, then stomped after him. Sasuke sighed and walked to the bedroom as well.

Xeala had pinned a sheet on two walls that intersected at a corner.

"That is the changing room." Xeala said snappily.

"Why should we change in that? Just because you said so?" Sasuke asked with his arms crossed.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!" Xeala said, regrouping her towel up.

"Xeala you might need a separate towel for your chest." Sasuke said smartly, then turned to face the hot pink wall.

"I HATE YOU SASUKE!"

"You two don't stop fighting." Naruto said, taking his pajamas and walking into the sheet-room.

"Never wil," Xeala said, twitching her hand, wanting to slap Naruto as hard as she could.

"I'm getting changed next," Xeala and Sasuke said at the same time, then shot glares at each other.

"I'M GETTING CHANGED FIRST!" Xeala threw a shoe at Sasuke, who merely ducked under it.

"I'm done!" Naruto came out of the changing area... thing... dressed in his pajamas. Xeala jumped up and ran to it, then pulled the sheet around her towel.

"...oops..." Xeala said, looking at the mutilated changing room.

"Why don't we just change in our separate bathrooms?" Sasuke asked and started walking. Xeala twitched, then walked to her bathroom.

"What's their problem?" Naruto asked, rubbing his head and putting his dog...hat...thing... on his head, then laid down and went to sleep.

Xeala came out of her bathroom in a pair of grey shorts and white camisole over a black one, then looked up and glared at Sasuke's bathroom door. _I should somehow lock him in there... _

_Or at least prove I'm better than him at everything. _

"Hey Sasuke I bet I can beat you at anything," Xeala said loudly as she walked past his bathroom. The door flew open and a kunai flew past Xeala's head, whom smirked.

"Say that again bitch," Sasuke held up a deck of cards.

"OOH TEXAS HOLD 'EM?"

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Sasuke shuffled the cards in his hand and sat on the floor, Xeala doing the same.

"Deal."

"I AM."

"Fine then Sasuke McEmo Pants."

"Whatever you say Whorezilla."

::major anime vein::

**HURRAY I'M DONE WITH THE CHAPTER! HURRRAH HURRAH HURRAH! REVIEW!**


	19. whee continuing

**ALRIGHT. NEXT CHAPTER! WOO!**

So during the game of poker... neither Sasuke nor Xeala had won. They had fallen asleep on floor with their cards in their hands. Xeala's head rested on her right arm and the cards were fallen out of her left hand. Sasuke fell asleep with his back to the wall and cards fallen all over himself.

"Sasuke! Xeala! Hey you guys! Wake up already! It's the first day of real ninja school!" Naruto screamed in their faces. Xeala opened an eye, then closed it.

Then after several seconds, reopened it and shrieked at the top of her lungs, which woke Sasuke up and he jumped.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Xeala continued shrieking.

"Xeala stop! Shush! Please be quiet Xeala!" Naruto ran and tried to cover her mouth, but she had her hands just in place so he couldn't.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Xeala still hadn't stopped.

"XEALA I'LL HAVE SHIKAMARU COME IN HERE!" Sasuke yelled covering his ears.

"O.o" Xeala shut her mouth and curled up, covering her mouth and scooting backwards to the wall.

"See, that works," Sasuke said, and threw his cards at her, then walked to the kitchen to get food.

"...I don't know Sasuke... she could be planning something..." Naruto said, then turned and walked to the kitchen as well.

"Hey Sasuke, I'd like to see how you'd fare if I don't sit next to you." Xeala said teasingly.

"Don't you dare not sit next to me! I can't deal with those damn idiotic girls!" Sasuke yelled and threw a cup at her.

"Yeah. You can't. That's why I'll come to school late." Xeala ran through the bedroom, then hopped out the window. Sasuke ran into the bedroom and after Xeala, then stood at the window with his hand outstretched like no come back!

"NO! COME BACK DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE IDIOTS!" Sasuke hopped out the window and tried to catch Xeala.

Naruto is standing in the kitchen all alone currently.

"Guys::depressed look::"

"XEALA GET YOUR SORRY ASS BACK HERE OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

"NANANANANAAANAAAA! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!" Xeala yelled hopping off of buildings. Sasuke, who was just running, couldn't keep up with this, so he jumped up on the roofs and started jumping towards Xeala.

" ::looks back over shoulder:: o.O AHHHH OH NO!" Xeala kept running and running, then misplaced her foot on the edge of a window, and she fell forward on her face, "AIYEEEEE!"

"...Xeala... you are a complete loser," Sasuke said and hopped down off the roof onto her back, rubbing his heel between her shoulder blades

"Ow Sasuke don't do that that hurrrrtttsss!" Xeala screamed and writhed in pain.

"I figured out how you work! You can feel pain as long as it's not a flesh wound!" Sasuke said, then started stamping on her spine.

"YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU WANT TO KILL ME!" Xeala screamed.

"O.o... oops. Sorry about that... rage and anger problems..." Sasuke rubbed the back of his head, then stepped off of Xeala.

"I THINK I REALIZED THAT!" Xeala said, rubbing her back.

"You need a cut back there?" Sasuke, oddly and strangely, asked holding up a kunai.

"It'd be nice to have one but no. That'd probably cut through my bra and that's not good."

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" Sasuke turned around and hit his head on a wall repeatedly too push the image from his mind.

"What it's not like you... DID YOU JUST GET A MENTAL IMAGE OF THAT!?" Xeala screamed at him. Sasuke nodded weakly. Xeala regained her drunken smile.

"...Xeala?"

"...Sasuke...I'm going to kill you..." Xeala's head cocked to the side and she cracked her knuckles.

"Not if I kill you," Sasuke said, and cracked his own knuckles.

"What are you two doing at this hour! You should be training, or on your way to school at the very least!" An angry Iruka said walking out of his house, picking the two up by the collars of their shirts.

"Put me down Iruka! I've got to kill Sasuke!" Xeala screamed, running in the air and clawing towards Sasuke. Iruka moved both farther apart from each other.

"You two are causing so much trouble lately! It's unheard of! Now go to class!" Iruka yelled, scaring them both and setting them on the ground. Then, like scared little dogs with their tails between their legs, they ran towards the school at top speed. Xeala slammed the door open and ran in, then realized the entire class was there already.

"WHAT DID YOU DO WITH SASUKE!" Angry Sakura yelled from her seat.

"I'm right here... sadly..." Sasuke said, pushing Xeala out of the way, then proceeding to walk in the direction of his seat, then realizing Naruto had taken it.

" Nh! Hahah Sasuke I'm in your seat now where you gonna sit!" Naruto said overeagerly.

"NARUTO!" Sasuke pulled Naruto out of his seat and sat down.

"Grrr... why does everyone love Sasuke so much!" Naruto said, then swung onto the table and began glaring at Sasuke, inches away from his face, Sasuke returning the glare.

"Um... you guys?"

"NARUTO STOP GLARING AT SASUKE LIKE THAT!" Sakura said, a crowd of sasuke-fans gathering behind her.

"Errr..." Xeala closed her eyes, then heard the gasping scream.

"NO WAY!"

"EW!"

"I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET SASUKE'S _FIRST_ KISS!!"Sakura yelled at Naruto, who was coughing on the table.

"...that wasn't his first kiss..."Xeala said trying to divert the attention away from the embarrassment the two had caused each other.

"NO WAY DON'T TELL ME YOU TWO ARE..." Sakura pointed across the room, and the entire crowd seemed to just flock over to Xeala cracking their knuckles in just a second.

"NO NO NO I NEVER EVEN SAID THAT DON'T JUST JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS LIKE THAT!"

"...actually... that was what happened," Sasuke nodded from his seat.

"...Sasuke!?" Sakura yelled upsetly, seemingly defeated in her own sense of the word.

"SASUKE HOW DARE YOU!" Xeala screamed, "WE AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT!"

"SO IT DID HAPPEN!?" All the girls screamed.

"...you know what. Yes! Yes, it happened, SO DEAL WITH IT!" Xeala yelled into all of their faces.

"I KNEW IT! YOU OWE ME $1000 SHIKAMARU!" Kiba yelled and punched Shikamaru's shoulderblade.

"Grr..." Shikamaru said and slumped, hitting his forehead on the table in front of him.

"...anyway... moving away from the apparent...mess..." Xeala walked towards the desks.

"BUT SASUKE I LOVE YOU!" Sakura yelled over the table, " I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I'D DO WHATEVER I NEED TO FOR YOU!" Sakura pleaded on her knees.

"It wasn't even what you think happened..." Sasuke dropped his head onto his hands.

"SASUKE! SAKURA LIES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN SHE DOES I'D DIE FOR YOU!" Ino yelled, pushing Sakura out of the way.

"PHOENIX FLOWER..." Xeala began to do a seal.

"OH NO NOT ANOTHER ONE EVERYBODY RUN!" Naruto yelled and ran as far out of the way as possible.

"Not..." Xeala said, laughing, and sat down in her usual seat, having scared off all of the girls who were bothering Sasuke and blocking her way of getting to her seat.

"So... how much do I owe you for that one?" Sasuke asked.

"You move out of the way next time I tell you to," Xeala said and punched him, a real punch.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU DIDN'T MOVE WHEN I WAS SCREAMING AT YOU!"

"WHY SHOULD I HAVE MOVED!? IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU WERE FLYING THROUGH THE AIR!"

"Sasuke are you PMS-ing?" Naruto asked from next to Xeala.

"..." Sasuke slumped down under the table, clearly pissed off.

"Sasuke get your undignified ass back into the sight line of your adoring fans," Xeala said, reaching under the table, pulling Sasuke's collar and dragging him back into his seat.

"...I'll kill you," Sasuke said, glaring at her.

"Oh you might not want to just yet," Xeala said, and dropped her head onto the table, hard, "SHIT! Where's my backpack?!"

"You left it at home when you jumped out the window..."

"YOU WOULD RUN AWAY FROM SASUKE-KUN! YOU'RE NOT WORTHY XEALA! YOU'RE NOT WORTHY!" Ino yelled, pointing at her.

"...How about I stick a cactus up your ass Ino?" Xeala yelled at her.

"..." Ino sat back down.

"Yeah I thought so, bitch." Xeala said, kicking her feet up onto the table.

"XEALA! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT LANGUAGE IN MY CLASSROOM!" Iruka said, walking inside the classroom.

"...sorry Iruka," Xeala said, rolling her eyes.

"Grr... just don't let it happen again!" Iruka yelled, then proceeded to stand in the middle of the classroom, his hands behind his back.

"Hey Iruka what's behind your back!?" Naruto yelled.

"...these are the groups for you all," Iruka said.

"...groups?" Xeala raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, you will all be divided into groups in order to complete certain missions and tasks," Iruka said.

"...what kind of groups?"

"3-man groups..." Iruka said, "why?"

"THERE'S ONE EXTRA PERSON!" Xeala pointed out the obvious.

"Yes... that's why that person is going to randomly name a number now, then there's a process to determine their group." Iruka said, "so Xeala, pick a number."

"Um...let's see... think... think... umm... 50!" Xeala yelled.

"So... 50 times 14 divided by 100," Iruka said, "and that's your group."

"WHAT?!" Xeala yelled. Iruka began writing on the blackboard.

"So... your team is going to be team 7," Iruka said, and wrote her onto the sheet.

"...who's in team 7 tell me tell me tell me!" Xeala said, jumping up and down.

"I can't tell you that until I actually get to team 7..." Iruka said, and began reading off the teams.

**OKAY I'M DONE.**

**FINALLY ZOMFG...**

**Okay...**

**It's okay...**

**REVIEW OR DIE BITCHES!**


	20. Sasuke lives in hell

**NEW CHAPTER HURRAY! ...I feel like my email is no longer reliable... SEEING AS IT DOESN'T SEND ME ANYTHING ANYMORE! screams and yells**

**Okay here we go I'll write now.**

"Xeala wake up it's team 7 time," Sasuke kicked Xeala's leg under the table.

"Nh... I'm awake," Xeala lifted her head.

"Team 7, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno," Iruka started.

"ALL RIGHT!" Naruto yelled happily.

"I'm doomed!" Sakura dropped her head.

"Sasuke Uchiha, and... well... Xeala..." Iruka finished.

"It seems fate has dawned upon an unhappy horizon for you, Sasuke." Xeala said, smiling devilishly. Sasuke looked up to the skies, seeming to curse the gods for putting him in the worst possible group ever.

"Team 8," Iruka started to say team 8.

"IRUKA!" Xeala raised her hand.

"...Yes Xeala?"

"HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO BE IN THESE GROUPS!?"

"Until the day you die." Iruka said solemnly.

"O.O" Sasuke looked up like YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, " WHY AM I IN NARUTO'S GROUP!"

"Because, putting it simply Sasuke, you are awesome, Naruto's the worst ever, so we put two and two together and it works."

"WHY IS XEALA IN MY GROUP!"

"...we went over that..."

"WHY AM I IN GROUP #7!?"

"Because that's where you were placed, NOW STOP COMPLAINING!" Iruka yelled, quieting Sasuke's attempts to wriggle his way out of hell.

"Don't worry Sasuke," Xeala said with an evil look, "we'll make sure you do _fine..."_

"...can I be exempt from this group?" Sasuke raised his hand in a final attempt.

"SHUT UP SASUKE!"

"; . ;" Sasuke looked very defeated, but anyway, Iruka finished naming off groups. Xeala looked around the room boredly.

"Iruka when do we meet our new senseis?" Xeala asked rudely.

_Does she want to get rid of me that badly?_ Iruka thought, then replied, "...you're dismissed." Iruka walked out of the classroom. The little groups assembled and started chattering loudly.

"I'M GOING TO MAKE LUNCH!" Xeala jumped out of her seat excitedly and punched the air.

"...I'm going home." Sasuke said and stood up, then started walking away.

"W-wait Sasuke!" Sakura jumped out of her chair and tried to follow him. Xeala moved her foot out into the aisle.

"Oops," Xeala said as Sakura's face slammed into the ground.

"Grr... Xeala!" Sakura said loudly.

"...Xeala stop fooling around and go make food like a nice little girl," Sasuke said from the doorway of the classroom. Xeala looked up angrily.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Xeala screamed, then chased Sasuke out of the classroom.

_Oh my god she's faster when she's angry I'm never gonna get away! _Sasuke said and turned a corner, sprinting as fast as he could.

"SASUKE I'LL KILL YOU!" Xeala screamed with her arms stretched forward about to grab onto the back of his shirt and pull him down and pretty much mutilate him.

_Maybe I don't need to outrun her... _Sasuke hit his heels into the ground and stopped. In less than a second, Xeala had completely slammed into his back, having been caught off guard by him no longer running, and fell onto her back.

"...Xeala... you're an idiot," Sasuke said, then turned and started walking back home.

"Wait you! I'm not finished with yo-OW MY NOSE! SASUKE YOUR IN TROUBLE WHEN I GET HOME!" Xeala yelled, sitting up and rubbing her nose.

"Oh give up Xeala, just let's go we have to come back soon to meet our new Sensei so just stop complaining and start walking or whatever means of transportation you need to use in order to get home." Sasuke yelled from a few hundred meters away.

"I'LL BEAT YOU HOME!" Xeala said, then climbed a few crates next to her, then jumped onto the roof of the house. Looking over the massive amount of houses, Xeala set a straight line course to jump home, then took it, landing in front of the doorway just as Sasuke walked onto the street. "TOLD YOU SO!" Xeala said, then walked in.

"...grrr... Xeala..." Sasuke growled under his breath.

"Hey Xeala!" Naruto yelled from the kitchen, "Can you help me tie up Sasuke!?"

"HELLZ YEAH!" Xeala said excitedly, clapping her hands.

"Yeah!" Naruto yelled.

"Okay I have a plan, I'll grab some of the food in the fridge and put it on a tray, then when Sasuke walks in, I'll run up like 'Look Sasuke, FOOD!' and then you'll tackle him from your hiding place in the rafters!" Xeala said happily.

"...Did you just come up with that?" Naruto asked.

"...no..."Xeala averted her eyes, "QUICK HE'S COMING!" Xeala ran towards the kitchen and grabbed a plate, while Naruto attempted jumping into the rafters, "...this will have to do," Xeala said, filling a plate with food from the fridge.

"...Xeala your hair is completely messed up right now," Sasuke said from the doorway as Xeala turned around.

" ::twitch:: ...err... hi Sasuke! Look I got food already!" Xeala walked over with the tray of food.

"...Xeala... there's barely any food on this..." Sasuke looked sad.

"Oh well, you'll just have to deal with that then!" Xeala said, then hit him in the face with the plate as Naruto attacked him with his shadow clone jutsu, then thanked Xeala and ran outside.

"Xeala! LET ME GO!" Sasuke yelled at her from the ground.

"Nope," Xeala sat down with an apple in her hand, then took a big bite out of it, "Look Sasuke! FOOD! MM!!"

"XEALA CUT IT OUT I'M STARVING!"

"SO GOOD!" Xeala began rolling on the floor happily, paying no attention to Sasuke, who by now had probably started doing the escape jutsu.

"...Xeala... there's no food left..." an angry Sasuke said, looking around the kitchen, then returned his attention to the apple in Xeala's hand.

"Oh no you don't!" Xeala took a second bite out of the apple, attempting to finish it before Sasuke could pry it from her.

"GIVE ME THAT APPLE!"

"NOT UNLESS ::chew:: YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD ::chew:: HANDS!" Xeala yelled whilst eating.

**SWITCHEROO! **

**TIME FOR AKATSUKI! WHEE!! **

"So Itachi. When did you say that you and Kisame would be going out on your little 'excursion'?" Deidara asked jokingly from the couch.

"Deidara, I am going to tell you this _nicely_ one last time," Itachi said solemnly, sitting on a different couch with tea, (TEA!) "We're going to leave in about 8 months time, and once more Deidara, I AM NOT FUCKING GAY!" Itachi yelled across the room and threw the burning hot tea onto Deidara's lap.

"OUCH DUDE THAT HURTS!" Deidara screamed and ran off, most likely towards a bathroom.

"Itachi, I'm guessing that wasn't tea." Kisame said, reading a magazine against the wall.

"Nope."

"Some kind of thing that will hurt and itch for days?" Kisame asked.

"Well, If I'm lucky, a few weeks, maybe a month or two," Itachi shrugged.

"Well we won't be hearing from him for a while then... hurray," Kisame said, then turned the page in his magazine.

**OKAY END OF CHAPTER! DUNDUNDUDNDUN! I know I know horrible end right? Lolol okay review, or remember::holds up kunais:: I'LL KILL YOU!**


	21. Episode one

**OKAY! NEW CHAPTER! HUZZAH HUZZAH HUZZAH! NO SCHOOL THIS WEEK! **

**WHEEE!!!! **

**O.o don't look at me like that I'm sane. **

**Or am I?! **

"I... am here!" Xeala said as she panted her way into the classroom.

"It's about time," Sakura said, crossing her arms.

"You're almost as late as the teacher, Xeala," Naruto complained, then brought a stool-like-item over to the door and wedged a chalkboard eraser in the door.

"OMG NARUTO YOU ROCK I SO WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT!" Xeala said happily.

"Naruto, our Sensei is an elite jounin, do you really think he'll fall for something like that?" Sasuke asked, his head resting on his hands.

"Well it serves him right for being late Sasuke!" Xeala said and slapped him in the back of the head.

"Xeala you were almost as late as whoever our teacher is!" Sakura yelled at her. Footsteps echoed.

"SHH HE'S COMING!" Xeala said, then hid under the desk Sasuke was sitting at. A hand opened the door.

"Sasuke did it hit him?" Xeala asked quietly. Sasuke nodded his head. Xeala hurray-ed under the desk.

"...My first impression of this group..." a voice said, "you're all a bunch of idiots."

"I'M NOT IDIOT MAY I STATE! I AM A VERY INTELLIGENT BEING!" Xeala jumped out from under the desk and pointed at him.

"..."

"..."

"I declare you as the most idiotic." The jounin said. Xeala sat down defeated. "Hmm.. Well, we'll go outside." The jounin said, then turned around and walked out.

"Wait! Question!" Xeala yelled after him as the others followed, "How does your hair defy gravity like that!?"

"..."

"Please excuse our, ruder... friend..." Sasuke said and elbowed Xeala's side.

"Ow..." Xeala said, then continued following them unhappily. So eventually, this white-hair-defying-gravity-and-mask-over-face man stopped on a little ledge type thing overlooking the city.

"Alright," the man said sitting on a rail, the rest sat down on a step-type thing, "why don't you introduce yourselves? One at a time..."

"Introduce ourselves? Well... what are we supposed to say?" Sakura asked like the whore she is. _UGH. SAKURA IT'S CALLED INTRODUCING YOURSELF! HAVE YOU NEVER DONE IT BEFORE!? _Xeala thought and glared at Sakura out of the corner of her eye.

"Things you like, things you hate, dreams for the future, hobbies... things like that." The man said. _He still didn't tell us his name... ::growl::_

"Why don't you tell us stuff first? I mean before we talk tell us about you so we can see how it's supposed to work..." Naruto said, sitting between Sasuke and Xeala (probably for the better...), Sakura on the other side of Sasuke.

"Me?" The man replied, _YES YOU YOU COMPLETE BUFFOON MY GOD I HATE YOU ALREADY! _Xeala thought, "I'm Kakashi Hatake," _BINGO! THERE'S YOUR NAME! _"Things I like and things I hate... mm I don't feel like telling you that." The group looked up like DUDE NO FAIR, "My dreams for the future... never really thought about it," _This dufus is going to doom us all..._ "As for my hobbies, I have lots of hobbies," he finished. The group had now formed a bit of a circle.

"That was totally useless all he really told us was his name..." Sakura said, Naruto nodded with a mmhmm.

"Okay, you're turn," Kakashi crossed his arms, "you on the left, you first."

"Wait does that mean me? Or him?" Xeala said pointing to herself.

"...why not you?"

"OH YEAH! Okay, I'm Xeala... I like food, fighting, beating people in anything, excelling, kicking Sasuke's ass, killing peop-OOPS... um... well yes killing is fun, I hate whores, sluts, girls who don't get off of some guy even though they know he doesn't have any ounce of interest in them whatsoever, people who want to kill or hurt someone who's my friend, the person who killed my family and loved ones when I was little, my hobbies are cooking, eating, fighting, kicking ass, winning, and being lazy, and my dreams... well I don't have any," Xeala finally finished, everyone about to fall asleep.

"That must be a record, Xeala you've beaten me in something," Sasuke said from next to Naruto.

"YOU WANNA FIGHT EMO BOY!?" Xeala glared and held her fist up.

"No fighting! We're a team! We are to work as one! NO FIGHTING!" Kakashi said sternly, Xeala slowly lowered her fist, glaring at Sasuke the entire time the group introduced itself, which I don't feel like typing, and as Sasuke finished his introduction, Xeala started giggling.

"Well Sasuke you're gonna have to stop being emo and get busy!" Xeala laughed, rolling back and forth on the cement, as Sasuke's face turned completely red, along with Sakura, Naruto, and what you could see of Kakashi's face, although the reason they turned red is a mystery to me. After... recovering... Kakashi spoke again.

"Good! You're each unique and you have your own ideas. We'll have our first mission tomorrow."

Naruto, for some reason, put his hand up to his head like a salute, "What kind of mission are we going to have!?"

"It's a task, that the four of us will do together," Kakashi said, Xeala still rolling and giggling in front of everyone on the cement.

"Xeala you're getting awfully close to the ed-...never mind" Sasuke said as Xeala rolled off the side of the platform, still laughing. Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto all jumped up and ran to look over the side.

"I'M OKAY!" Xeala said from a tree branch, of which had positioned itself through her right shoulder to hold her up, "JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET DOWN!"

"You three stay here!" Kakashi said and disappeared.

"...is she gonna be okay? I mean she rolled straight off the platform without noticing, what kind of ninja does that!?" Sakura laughed boastingly.

"A GOOD ONE." Sasuke barked at Sakura, who immediately stopped laughing and looked down at her feet. Moments later, Kakashi appeared back on the platform.

"She... seems to be okay..."

"Hurray..." Sasuke replied.

"How is she okay sensei!? That branch was completely through her shoulder!" Sakura asked surprised.

"...well... I don't think she wants you to know if she didn't tell you," Kakashi said.

**Down at the bottom of the platform...**

"I HAVE TO GET BACK UP THERE ON MY OWN!?" Xeala stamped her foot, then started climbing a few hundred stairs. Around stair number 10... "YOU STINKING STAIRS YOU'RE SO LONG I HATE YOU JUST STOP BEING SO EVIL ALREADY!" Xeala continued climbing the stairs, cursing at them every chance she could, and by the time she got up to the platform, no one was there, just a bird resting on the rail, seemingly paying her no mind. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" Xeala screamed, and the bird turned around like WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?! "Wait a minute..." Xeala cocked her head to the side, "there's no yellow and pale bird here that has black around it's eyes, the only thing I've ever seen with that is," the bird poof-ed, "Deidara," Xeala crossed her arms.

"Well, you've picked a good spot to go to, completely unnoticeable." Deidara said, sitting down against one of the railings.

"HOW DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP FINDING ME?"

"Easily, you see there's a tracker in your bloodstream, so we just follow that, it's fairly easy to find," Deidara said seemingly happy.

"...YOU PUT A TRACKER IN ME!?" Xeala screamed at him.

"I'm _kidding._"

"Good, you'd better have been,"Xeala crossed her arms.

"Or was I?" Xeala growled loudly, "okay yeah, I was kidding, but yeah, what are you doing?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Have you done anything...yeah..."

"Um... let's see... I'm technically a ninja, our leader dude is Kakashi Hatake, he's got creepy white hair it defies gravity..."

"...I know... and that's not good, so I'm guessing you think you'll pass all the missions with flying colors, yeah Well that's completely wrong, yeah, the first mission is the hardest if you don't know what he's supposed to mean, he's very tricky, yeah,"

"Well I don't care! I'm gonna rock this village to the ground!" Xeala said, making an air guitar motion. Deidara laughed.

"Don't rock it down too hard, and you better make sure no one knows you're in Akatsuki, and be very, very, careful around Kakashi... yeah?"

"Fine! God you people don't leave me alone I swear I'll come back there and blow up the HQ," Xeala said and began walking back down the stairs.

"That's my job," Deidara said, then transformed back into the bird and flew off. Xeala watched the bird-Deidara fly off, then stuck her tongue out like an immature little child, and kept walking down the stairs. In the distance, a Naruto was seen walking, a few hundred feet behind a Sasuke.

"AHA!" Xeala started sprinting, then elbowed Naruto in the stomach as she passed him, then ran towards the side of the road, jumped on the top of a box, and soared over Sasuke's head, who didn't notice until she landed an inch in front of him, "TADA!"

"OMIGOD." Sasuke grabbed his chest like he was having a heart-attack.

"SCAREDY-CAT!" Xeala pointed at him, then, using her two forefingers, flicked him on the head.

"O.o... why did you do that?" Sasuke asked, now on the ground holding his heart with one hand.

"...DO WHAT?" Xeala asked, realizing the stupid act she just did.

"YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME," Sasuke glared up at her.

"Oh that! Well be thankful you didn't end up like the tangerine!" Xeala pointed to Naruto crippled on the ground.

"...you're a monster..." Sasuke said, then landed a punch into Xeala's stomach.

"Oh you're asking for it now Uchiha boy," Xeala clutched her stomach, then kicked Sasuke in the shin, and he stumbled back into a food stand, "See you at home, Uchi-NOT!" Xeala yelled, then straightened her back, running home.

**Next morning...**

"NARUTO SASUKE BREAKFAST!" Xeala said, ringing a cow bell she must have gotten from some run-down place.

"...Xeala we're not supposed to eat breakfast today, Kakashi said we'll throw up," Naruto said rubbing his head as he walked out of the bedroom.

" ::shrug:: fine, I've been eating breakfast and training harder than the _jounins _here and I've never thrown up..." Xeala said, hoarding all of the food onto her plate.

"...Maybe I'll have a little..." Naruto said, watching her eat all the food.

"No no! Don't want you to throw up!" Xeala said, ripping a piece of bread in two and munching it loudly. Naruto moaned and picked up an orange bag that had somehow come to pass without Xeala noticing, which was leaning on a wall. Moments later, Sasuke walked out of the room, first checking to make sure no ambush was waiting for him, with a dark blue bag on his shoulder.

"What's with the purses?" Xeala asked, finished eating.

"Kakashi said to bring out ninja gear today," Sasuke said stoutly.

"Ooh, and this is the same person who said not to eat food either!" Xeala remarked, then hopped out of the chair and walked over, picking her backpack up off the floor. "Well, let's go."

"Xeala you didn't paint your legs today," Naruto said.

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Cuz I don't need to. Those were chains to my life as an underling to ninjas, of which I now am so I don't need to paint the chains on my legs anymore.

"What's that red thing on you're ankle? It looks like some sort of circle... type thing..." Naruto asked, pointing to Xeala's inside left ankle. Xeala looked down.

"...just... don't worry about it..." Xeala said, then rubbed her ankle, seemingly upset.

"Well, there's a mission today so let's go!" Naruto said, punching up into the air and walking out of the house. Xeala looked over at Sasuke, who was giving her the 'Kill me now please' look.

"You ready for torment? Happy joy time ends now," Xeala said.

"There hasn't been a happy joy time for a long time," Sasuke looked down, his bangs falling to cover his face.

"Oh come on, if you're that sad just talk about it! Talking helps! Hell, I'm almost exactly the same as you? You know why I don't have a last name? Cuz it wouldn't matter anymore. I wasn't even registered as born in my family, my old village, they wouldn't be able to look me up if they tried, and they're not even existent anymore. But you know what Sasuke, you don't see me moping around about it do you? I go on with my life. I don't have parents or anything. I did. For what? Two, three years? It doesn't matter anymore. It's all in the past. Come on, it'll be a better day! Just stop being so emo!" Xeala said and walked over, grabbing Sasuke's face and making him smile, which he merely shook off.

"You still don't get it."

"You know what Sasuke. You don't get it. Not me. I understand it perfectly. I've joked around the person who destroyed everything for me. I can live with it. You need to learn to, and you know what else Sasuke, you don't know as much as you think. You need to grow up and stop being a spoiled little child who doesn't know what he's talking about when he acts emo. You don't know what the real meaning of sad is. Sure, you're upset. I can understand that. But you know what else? You're stupid. Stupid and reckless. You're stopping at nothing to do what? Kill Itachi?! He's an old stupid bastard who did things for reasons you don't know. He's gone though! He's not coming back. And if you let him control you the way you do, you're going to be destroyed by it. You have to get over it!" Xeala threw him against the wall, grasping his collar angrily, "He is going to _DESTROY_ _YOU!_ DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT!" Xeala dropped Sasuke, who was just staring at her a bit scared.

"...Xeala..."

"No. You know what Sasuke. Shut up. Talk to me when your head is clear." Xeala started walking out of the house. Sasuke's eyes dropped to her ankle, and the shoe fabric moved off of the red on it, revealing a red and black heart with barbed wire through it, bleeding from each barb's penetrating point. Sasuke stared, then looked back up, where Xeala was glaring straight at his face.

"...you..."

"Yeah. I'm broken too." Xeala hissed, then walked out of the house completely. _UH. THESE PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID! THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID! I'LL HAVE TO KILL THEM ALL! ...damn! DAMN! DAMN!_ Xeala stomped her way to the training ground, then instead of standing with Sakura and Naruto, sat under a tree.

"Kill them all..." Xeala said as her eyes closed heavily.

**OKAY MUCHO HAPPY CHAPTER RIGHT!? LOLOL OKAY REVIEW OR DIE!! HAHAHA!**


	22. Pass or Fail! First test of Team 7!

**Alright... new chapter... I have a feeling this story is going to be a hundred or so chapters long... **

**OH WELL. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO READ IT THEN! **

**Bwahaha. **

"Xeala wake up!"Sakura angrily shook Xeala, who was sleeping like a rock, "Come on Xeala! Wake you lazy ass up!" Sakura yelled, and Xeala's eyelids fluttered.

"...five more minutes..."

"YOU SAID THAT A HALF HOUR AGO!" Sakura yelled into her face.

"And I shall say it again, five more minutes..." Xeala said drowsily, then closed her eyes.

"UGH! SOMEONE ELSE WAKE HER UP!" Sakura stomped away. Naruto looked to Sasuke, who had arrived looking somewhat disturbed.

"Okay! Fine I'll do it!" Naruto yelled loudly, drawing attention to himself.

"Good," Sakura said, sitting down on the grass, then admiring Sasuke from where she sat.

"Xeala... wake up..." Naruto said, poking the side of Xeala's head. "Xeala! XEALA OH MY GOD LOOK THERE'S A GIANT BEETLE EATING YOUR SIDE OF THE BEDROOM!" Naruto yelled, and Xeala jumped up.

"WHERE I'LL KILL IT!" Xeala ripped a kunai out of her bag in a split-second, looking around for a giant beetle eating her side of the bedroom... though she was about a mile away from the house...

"Haha Xeala you fell for it!" Naruto said, laughing obnoxiously.

"...NARUTO!" Xeala began chasing Naruto in circles and such around the training field, until Naruto ran straight past Sasuke, and Xeala stopped short, glaring at the emo one.

"Naruto, stop running around, it's annoying," Sakura said snobbishly. Naruto looked to her sadly.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Xeala yelled, and they all turned around to see Kakashi walking towards them.

"Well, a black cat crossed my path so I had to take the long way to get here..."

'THAT'S THE WORST EXCUSE EVER!"

"Okay, well, let's get started," Kakashi said, and put a timer on a stump, and pulled out two bells on strings, " it's set for noon. Your assignment is very simple, you just have to take these bells from me. That's all there is to it. If you can't get them by noon, you go without lunch, you'll be tied to those posts, and you'll watch while I eat my lunch in front of you."

Xeala looked around as everybody's stomachs argued against this.

_So that's why... _Sasuke thought...

_He told us not to eat breakfast to make it harder on us..._ Sakura thought.

"HAHA! THAT'S WHY I ATE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING!" Xeala said happily.

"Wait a minute! There's four of us!"

"... . . ::counts:: YEAH SHE'S RIGHT!"Xeala yelled.

"Well that way, some of you will end up getting sent back to the academy. But there's always the chance that all of you will fail." Kakashi said somewhat happily. Xeala growled, then sat on the ground and started thinking. "You can use any weapons, including shuriken. You must be willing to kill me in order to get the bells. When I say start, you can begin." Xeala contemplated.

_Four genins. One jounin. The jounin will always win against a single genin. Maybe we can all take him out... but no one would think about that... I could always get the bells and we'd have two to a person... but that might be counted as failing... so... ah we'll just let it play out as it shall and save the day after. _

Naruto charged at Kakashi with a kunai, and Kakashi caught Naruto's hand and had it at the back of his head superfast.

"Don't be in such a hurry, I didn't say start yet. But, you came at me with the full intention of destroying me so, how can I say this, I'm actually starting to like you guys. Get ready, and... start." Everybody except Xeala jumped off in a different direction. "Aren't you going to fly off like them too?"

"I don't need to," Xeala said, then lifted her hands to her eyes, and took out her contacts. Xeala slowly got up, then dusted off her clothes, all with her eyes closed. "Ah it's good to take those out." Xeala said, opening her eyes. "Okay well, I guess I should be gone too." Xeala said, then disappeared almost as fast as Kakashi had caught Naruto's attack.

Naruto appeared in front of Kakashi.

"YOU AND ME! RIGHT NOW! FAIR AND SQUARE! LET'S GO!"

Xeala, lounging on a branch about fifty yards into the forest, giggled, "Idiot!" Xeala folded her arms and looked up at the sky. "Maybe I should go tell one of them..." Frustrated yelling came from the field. "...few minutes..."

**20 minutes later...**

Sakura ran and tripped over a log. Looking up, down a bitch of a hill, Kakashi was standing and reading his book. _Phew... he didn't hear me... I'm safe... _

"Sakura... behind you..."

And eerie pitched Sakura-scream came from a bit away. Xeala jumped onto a tree's limb, then look in the direction of the scream. _So he went after Sakura after catching Naruto? He's just going in order of strength! HAH! Now I know his plan! Bwahaha... this is gonna be easy. I'll just get him whilst he goes after Sasuke. HAHAHAHA! _Xeala gritted her teeth, then jumped out to a farther away branch. Xeala looked down into the clearing, as Sasuke got pulled under the ground by Kakashi. Kakashi bent down and started lecturing Sasuke. Xeala gritted her teeth. _Here's my chance... but... hmm... I might be falling for a trap. _Sakura ran out into the clearing.

"O.o SASUKE'S JUST A HEAD WITHOUT A BODY! NO NO NO!" Sakura fainted and fell backwards.

"Hey Sasuke you look like you could use a hand!" Xeala waved from her branch.

"...and a body..." Sasuke bit his lip. _Why is she helping me? She was screaming at me a few hours ago... oh... wait... memory loss... haha nevermind... _Xeala jumped down.

"You know we're a team for a reason. We're supposed to work TOGETHER. Not go off in every other direction!" Xeala said, glaring her red eyes at Sasuke.

_She... she... she has sharingan... she really is... but how... I mean... this makes... no se-stop wandering Sasuke! Keep your mind focused on the task! You have to get a bell!_

"You're not gonna get one of those bells on your own. If you could, then you'd be a jounin too. But we're all just genin. We need to take him on together. But after lunch. You idiots don't have the energy to seeing as you listened to him. Now get your ass out of the ground." Xeala said to Sasuke, then proceeded to trying to wake up Sakura. "Grr... Sasuke!" Sasuke finished shaking the dirt out of his clothes, and looked over.

"Hunh?"

"Come bend over her."

"What?!"

"JUST DO IT!"

"...Okay?"

"Good." Xeala grabbed Sakura's nose so she couldn't breathe, which cause her to jolt awake.

"Sasuke you're okay!" Sakura hugged Sasuke, and Xeala attempted to pry her off of him.

"Okay now we're all awake. Now we have to work TOGETHER to get the damn bells! This isn't a game anymore!" Xeala yelled at them.

"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked dumbfoundedly, and Xeala pinned her down.

"You idiot! You're only concerned about being with Sasuke! Can't you tell what this is all about!? This is about getting those bells as a damn team! WE ARE TEAM 7! You people are all concerned with beating the others! Now we just need to make up a plan, and... where's Naruto?" Xeala looked around. " ::anime vein:: STAY HERE AND MAKE A PLAN!" Xeala jumped off to the trees, then saw Naruto hiding behind a rock, attempting to get the lunch boxes.

"NARUTO YOU SELFISH BASTARD!" Xeala tackled him to the ground.

"What!? What did I do!?"

"YOU AREN'T WORKING WITH THE TEAM! NOW YOU BETTER DRAG YOUR SORRY ASS BACK TO WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW SO WE CAN DISCUSS THIS AS A TEAM! NOW LET'S GO!" Xeala dragged Naruto back to where Sakura and Sasuke were planning, then threw him into the dirt.

"Okay, we're all HERE. Now let's get this done!" Xeala said, then kneeled down with a stick and began drawing a plan in the dirt.

"Xeala how the hell do you think like that?"

"Because I spent my entire life living outside the village trying to do this, with a bunch of bastard muggers coming at me from every which way. Now are we all clear on the plan?" Xeala said, pointing to the dirt. Everyone looked down, and replied with the same answer.

"Nope."

"AAAGHH!" Xeala grabbed her hair frustratedly, "YOU PEOPLE ARE IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Well, maybe you could explain it to us!" Sakura pleaded.

"Okay, fine." Xeala said, and rubbed her temples. "Now we all know Kakashi is a jounin, so we need to combine all of our strengths together and do this. If we work together, we will all have the bells. Now, like Iruka said, Sasuke rocks and Naruto not so much, so you guys need to combine into a semi-team. Naruto, do what you did before, attacking him from all sides with your shadow jutsu. Then, when you move in, Sasuke, you attack with your kunais and whatnot. Now he's most likely gonna see something like that coming, so me and Sakura will hide in the trees and attack when he gets out of your little traps. Are we all clear?" Xeala said, and they all nodded their heads.

Naruto and Sasuke jumped off, and Xeala caught Sakura's shoulder as she was about to do so.

"Sakura, you need to stop focusing on Sasuke, because he's not interested in anyone right now. Maybe in a few years when we're older though, because he's going to need someone then, but right now, he's faced with a little more than he can handle, so just try to not be such a fanatic about him, okay?" Xeala asked. Sakura looked down, then nodded solemnly. "Okay! Let's go kick butt!" Xeala said, and jumped up into the nearby trees, followed by Sakura.

"Sakura!" Xeala whisper-yelled to her, "over here!" Sakura jumped over to where Xeala was sitting on a bough, pointing out to where Naruto's shadow clones were attacking Kakashi. Kakashi maneuvered his way out of there grasp, and Sasuke flew at him hurling kunais and kicks from every which way, Kakashi barely getting out of this.

"Now?" Sakura asked silently.

"Not yet..." Xeala looked down, examining Kakashi's steps, and for a brief split-second, Kakashi didn't have a foothold, "Now!" Xeala exclaimed, then jumped out of the trees, Sakura doing the same. Xeala jumped onto the grass, then appeared behind Kakashi, who was still dodging attacks from Sasuke and Naruto, and watched as Sakura attacked from an elevated right angle. Xeala ran forward and slid her leg under Kakashi's to trip him, then quickly pulled a rope out from her belt-bag and caught his neck in it, and Naruto held his left arm down and Sasuke held down his right, Sakura grabbed the bells from his hand. Xeala let go of the rope, and Sasuke and Naruto let go of Kakashi's arms. Sakura handed the bells to Xeala, who tied them together. Xeala quickly spun around and put her contacts back in. Kakashi, under his mask, smiled happily.

"Good. You worked as a team to overpower me and get the bells. Excellent." Kakashi applauded, then started again, "Although I highly doubt you all figured this out on your own... so who was the smart one who thought?"

"It wa-" Xeala elbowed Sakura in the side and shook her head as if to say you say it and we'll fail.

"Hm... very well... you all pass." Kakashi said happily.

"ALRIGHT WE PASS! WHOOO!!!" Xeala yelled happily jumping up and down.

"Okay, let's go home," Kakashi said and started walking back.

**Next morning to save time and chapter space... **

"Sasuke, I'm at point B..." Sasuke said into his headset.

"Sakura, I'm at point C..." Sakura said to hers.

Then a pause...

"Naruto, I'm at point A, believe it!" Naruto said into his headset after the pause.

"Xeala, I'm at po-HEY HOW COME I HAVE TO BE POINT D?!? I WANNA BE POINT C!"

"...Great, the target has moved, follow it, good job Xeala," Kakashi said into his headset.

The team moved behind a line of trees.

"What's your distance from the target?" Kakashi asked.

"We're all 5 meters away and ready to go," Xeala said anxiously.

"Okay..." Kakashi paused for a few seconds, "NOW!"

Naruto grabbed the cat and yelled, "I GOT HIM I GOT HIM!" which started scratching the hell out of him. Sakura looked at it like AW SO CUTE. Xeala looked around like why are we doing this again?

"Can you verify a ribbon on right ear?" Kakashi asked.

"Affirmative, we've got a positive I.D." Sasuke said into his set.

"Oooh so professional Sasuke stop being a kiss-ass." Xeala said, sitting on a stump with her leg over the other.

"...Right... lost pet Tora captured. Mission accomplished."

"CAN'T WE GET A BETTER MISSION THAN THIS! I HATE CATS!" Naruto yelled into his headset, and Kakashi fell over on his side of the air waves.

**Back at the village...**

"God no wonder he ran away..." Sakura said as the cat was squished by it's owner.

**In the Hokage's office...**

"Can we get a CHALLENGING mission for once? PLEASE!" Xeala complained as the Hokage read off house chores.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Iruka yelled back, "YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF BRAND NEW GENIN WITH NO EXPERIENCE! LIKE EVERYONE ELSE YOU START WITH SIMPLE MISSIONS TO DEVELOP YOUR SKILLS AND PROVE YOURSELF!"

"Oh, so I guess the entire time we went to the academy with you was a waste then, hunh Iruka?" Xeala said evilly.

"NO WAY! I WAS THE BEST TEACHER EVER! ALL OF THE STUDENTS PASSED!"

"Then why can't we go on better missions?"

"BECAUSE YOUR JUST CHILDREN!"

"...oh... oh really?" Xeala asked.

"YES YOU'RE ALL CHILDREN!"

"I'm sure Kakashi would think differently."

The Hokage started yelling at Naruto, who turned around and the group started talking about ramen.

"You want a good mission then? So be it. Since you are so determined, I'm going to give you a C-ranked mission. You'll be bodyguards on a journey."

"OH YEAH!" Xeala ecstatically yelled out.

"Really?! YES!" Naruto yelled as well, then proceeded to asking questions. "Are we guarding a princess? Or some big league counselor!?"

"Don't be so impatient," the Hokage said, "I will bring him in now. Send in our visitor!"

Team 7 turned to the door, and a rude old man made fun of the age of the group.

"And you, the little one with the idiotic look on his face, you can't really expect me to believe you're a ninja!"

"Who's the little one with the idiotic look on his face?" Naruto looked around. Sasuke, Sakura, and Xeala stepped closer, Sasuke the tallest, Xeala slightly taller than Sakura, and two or three inches shorter than them would be Naruto. "LET ME GO! I'LL DEMOLISH HIM!"

"You can't demolish the client, Naruto. It doesn't work that way." Kakashi said, holding Naruto in the air by his hair.

"I am Tazuna, a master bridge-builder and I must return to my country. I'm building a bridge there that will change our world, and I expect you to get me there safely, even if it means giving up your life."

"Oo... harsh." Xeala said, then crossed her arms.

**OKAY I'M DONE WITH THIS CHAPTER FOR NOW. I'LL WRITE THE NEXT ONE SOON SO PLEASE REVIEW ASAP DUDES! BYEZ!**


	23. First real battle for Xeala!

**Okay my friend won the debate so I'm gonna be a bitch about this whole thing... **

**TIME FOR THE CHAPTER...**

**One fight with two Chuunins and a river crossing later... **

"Naruto stop fooling around! You're throwing kunais in every which direction." Xeala complained as Naruto looked everywhere to find anything to make him look cooler. Xeala heard a slight thud and Naruto threw a kunai into the bush on the right. Kakashi walked over to it, a small white rabbit crying and the kunai just missing it's head.

"LOOK OUT!" Kakashi yelled, and all of them hit the dirt, literally. A giant sword flew past. The sword hit a tree, and a man with odd taste in clothing appeared on the blade. "Well well, if it isn't Zabuza Momochi, rogue ninja of the Village hidden in the mist."

"Kakashi don't! He'll kill you!" Xeala yelled, about to pull her contacts off.

"Do not disobey me! Go into Mangi formation! I taught you teamwork now use it." Kakashi moved his forehead protector off of his eye, revealing a sharingan.

"It looks like I get to see the sharingan in action." Zabuza said from where he was.

_Damnit... they're just talking back in forth! Why don't they attack!? Somebody needs to attack! This isn't good! _Xeala looked back and forth between everyone who was talking, then jumped backwards with the genin of the team to guard the bridge-builder. Zabuza disappeared and appeared on the water, mist and wind billowing around him. _Don't lose control Xeala, don't flip out... it's just a highly skilled rogue ninja bent on destroying you... AGH THAT DIDN'T HELP! _Xeala's hand twitched upwards, making a motion towards her eyes. _No no no do not even try, he'll kill you unless you use that and that's something you won't be able to do and if you try you'll be out of it for a month! _Xeala's hands both moved up closer to her face. _But, Kakashi might die, and... Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, the bridge-builder, even me, I might die! What do I do what do I do!? Not that! _Xeala looked up. Zabuza slashed through a water clone of Kakashi. _It's okay! See! No don't worry it'll all be okay! _Kakashi held a kunai to Zabuza's throat. _It's all right see! It's all gonna be o-_Zabuza fell to water, revealing to have been a water clone as well, and the real Zabuza behind Kakashi swung his sword. _...never mind I your conscience give you full out permission to use the jutsu. NOW DO IT BEFORE SOMEONE DIES! _Xeala shook her head and the sound came back, everyone's heart thumping loudly. She reached up and ripped her contacts out, burying them in the dirt. Kakashi had dodge the sword but was now flying in the air from a kick. _This is it. Do it now! _

"Mangekyou Sharingan." Xeala said in the scariest tone I could ever imagine her saying. (I shudder at the thought of being the unlucky bastard who has to deal with her like this...)

A second later in the real world, Zabuza screamed in pain, and Kakashi threw multiple kunai into him. Naruto and Sasuke jumped and attacked him, driving kunais into his body. Sakura turned to check on Xeala, but Xeala was barely standing up, her electric blue hair swaying every way. Sakura turned back to where the other team members were.

"The tracker is working with Zabuza! Take him down now Kakashi!" Xeala yelled, before her legs gave out and she fell to the ground. Kakashi spun and threw multiple kunai into the surrounding trees. Sasuke and Naruto both, having put multiple holes into Zabuza's dead corpse, ran towards the trees and threw out all of their kunais. In seconds, a figure fell from the trees, shaking slightly with all of the kunais in his body. Naruto charged at him and ripped at his masked face, and Sasuke circled around the back of him, then kicked in the middle of his back. _CRACK._ The person fell down, seemingly haven his back broken and paralyzed. Naruto plunged a kunai into him.

"Naruto!" Kakashi yelled, and Naruto turned. The tracker grabbed Naruto's ankle, and Sasuke began beating the hell out of the tracker.

**Thirty seconds later... when Sasuke has finally finished taking out all his anger on a dead body... **

Kakashi used some odd jutsu to bury both of the ninjas who had dared to try and take out the almighty Team 7! After that, they all realized that Xeala was KO on the ground for some reason, and ran over to her body.

"Xeala can you hear me?"

"Nhh..." Xeala's sharingan eyes closed, and her breathing slowed. (Not the best move... mangekyou sharingan... who does she think she is? Itachi? God...)

**OKIE DOKIE NOW I CAN FINALLY GO AN MAKE A SMALL TIME SKIP! VERY SMALL PROBABLY ONLY A MONTH! BUT ANYWAY YEY!!! **


	24. Visitors from the sand

**YAWN Okay I'm on the third chapter of today let's hope I can get this one done! HURRAY! **

**A week after Xeala passed out from using the Mangekyou Sharingan... **

"Xeala? Are you awake! Oh thank god!" Sakura said happily as Xeala's eyes opened.

"Food."

"-.- I had a feeling that would be the first thing you said..." Sakura said.

"SHE WOKE UP!?" Naruto and Sasuke threw the same door open and pushed their way through each other.

"Quick Sakura! What was the first word she said!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly.

"...food..." Sakura said gloomily. Naruto's happiness lowered and Sasuke happily crossed his arms.

"Well Naruto, it looks like you owe me all of your money now," Sasuke said, and held on of his hand out like gimme. Naruto hesitantly reached into his belt-pouch and handed Sasuke a bag of money.

"Did I hear that our secret-keeper is awake?" Kakashi walked by the door with his book in hand.

"Yeah! Kakashi she finally woke up!" Naruto replied. Xeala frowned at having so many people in one little area of the room, then pulled her pillow over her head.

"Foooooooood..."

"Oh, that might be a good idea, seeing as you've been passed out for a week... you must be really hungry!" Sakura said.

"NO DUH," Xeala yelled from under the pillow.

"Well... it seems you're the only one who can cook... so... we only have cup ramen..." Naruto said, looking around the room like I hope she doesn't want my cup ramen...

"GIMME!" Xeala sat straight up and looked around for any sign of cup ramen.

_GRRROOOOAAAARRRR._

Xeala looked down at her stomach. "I told you I need food..."

"Fine fine," Naruto walked out of the little room and came back in a few minutes with cup ramen. Xeala reached out and grabbed it hastily from him, then began devouring it.

"We're gonna need more than that..." Sasuke said and turned to walk out of the room. Xeala threw the empty ramen cup at his head. Sasuke turned around with many little anime veins.

"What are you looking at me for? I didn't do it." Xeala said, then jumped out of the bed, expecting her legs to work perfectly. Instead, they almost completely gave in on her, and she had to grab onto Sakura and Kakashi's arms to stay up. "Oops..."

"Oops is right." Kakashi said, "You don't know the danger of what you did! You could have outright killed yourself!"

"Well we could have all died and I was scared half out of my wits and I swear that only happens if I don't use it for a while like I'd use it once every month or so but I haven't used it in quite a few months now, and anyway... my train of thought just de-railed itself..."

"Okay well, do you feel like going home soon because it's gonna be a long walk home and there are chuunin tests coming up, and we might get into those if we get back soon enough!" Naruto said happily.

"Woah, woah, I didn't even mention signing you guys up for that!" Kakashi said, _But I was going to anyway... _

"But you know you were gonna Kakashi! We're the best group you've ever taught!" Naruto said to him. _Damn they're good..._

"...can we just go home? I'm really tired and I wanna go sit at home and play little mind-games with all the other Genin, like Shikamaru and Kiba, those two are reeeaaally fun to tease and screw around with..." Xeala said, then stood up straight.

"Are you feeling up to it? We can always wait another day," Kakashi said.

"Oh no! I can't stand being here that long! We can go now." Xeala said, then flipped her hair out of her face, "besides, I think all of us want to shower in our own showers, and not have someone who shall remain unnamed use all the water up... ::growl and glare at Naruto::"

"Hey hey Xeala I didn't know that the water only lasted three hours!" Naruto pleaded.

"WHO TAKES THREE HOUR SHOWERS!?" Xeala yelled loudly.

**Errrm... I dunno... back at the village of happy world Konoha?**

**Team 7 has just past through the gate of Konoha... **

"Well, now that we're back," Xeala looked around, "I say we race home and whoever gets there first gets the longest shower!"

"You're on!" Naruto yelled, then looked back to where Sasuke was a few moments ago, "h-hey! Where'd Sasuke go!?" Naruto ran over to where Sasuke was and looked around for any sign of him. Xeala looked straight up the road, where Sasuke was already running at least an eighth of a mile ahead of them.

"YOU SNEAKY BASTARD! I'LL TEACH YOU TO CHEAT!!" Xeala pointed and screamed at Sasuke, who looked back and stuck his tongue out at them. Xeala started sprinting, and in a couple of seconds, Naruto came back to reality and started running too.

"Sometimes I wonder why they live together..." Sakura said gloomily.

"They live _TOGETHER_?" Kakashi asked, and Sakura nodded slowly. "That's... odd..."

"Poor Sasuke has to deal with those crazy people all day! He must be in so much pain! It's probably a permanent headache!" Sakura exclaimed. _That's why she brought that up, it was about SASUKE... _Kakashi thought and started walking in direction of his house which I have no clue where it is.

**Five minutes of running and breathing and thinking evil thoughts about how many ways one could kill Sasuke brutally and horribly...**

"SASUKE YOU BASTARD!!!!" Xeala yelled, within a few yards of reaching Sasuke now. Sasuke looked back over his shoulder, then gulped realizing that; a-Xeala had almost caught up to him, and b-Xeala would kill him as soon as she caught up to him. In a final strive to save his soon-to-be-sorry ass, Sasuke put as much strength into running as he could.

"You're gonna have to do better than that to catch up to me!" Sasuke yelled. Now, Xeala was pissed. Who wouldn't be? _KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL..._Xeala repeatedly thought kill... hm... Turning the final corner to home, Sasuke looked up and saw Naruto run into the house. _What the... how did he get here already!? _Xeala, of whom was chasing Sasuke, now poof-ed into nothingness. _...oh she's evil... pure evil... she used a shadow clone to chase after me... and then took a short cut to get home and disguised herself as Naruto... very evil indeed... _

**After the arguing and fighting of who gets to take the longest shower... Xeala won... due to, well, bitches always win! Haha! Take that Sasuke! Naruto got to take a shower second though, just to punish Sasuke even more... n.n I hate him... **

"So, Naruto," Xeala said, towel-drying her hair, back in her white-over-black cami and grey shorts, "what do you think of Sasuke and Sakura?" Xeala flipped her now slightly-damp hair back into it's normal position.

"Er... well... between you and me... I really like Sakura, I mean really really like her, but, Sasuke, he's such an insensitive jerk!" Naruto said quietly, since Sasuke wasn't currently with them.

"HAHA! I KNEW I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO HE PISSES OFF! But anyway, I can tell why you like Sakura, she's really pretty, but... she's a bit of a fanatic for Sasuke..." Xeala said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey Xeala," Naruto said, looking at a giant mesh bag of clothes that were supposed to be cleaned a few days ago, "when are you going to wash all of that?"

"...err... um... well... I was gonna go to a place and get them washed... but.. I... sort of..."

"You forgot didn't you!"

"Yes, yes I did," Xeala said, then reached under her bed and grabbed a pair of light grey flip-flops, and put them on while grabbing the bag of clothing and swinging it over her shoulder, "Hey, you wanna come? We can talk all the shit about Sasuke we want and since he can't cook for himself he'll be forced to either wait or go out," Xeala asked Naruto, who nodded and got up.

"So where is there a place to wash all of that?" Naruto asked, and Xeala stopped walking. _Shit! I don't even know where there is a place for this! Errrm... err... don't look like an idiot...ah fuck it you're already an idiot... _

**Five hours later...**

"Home..." Naruto trudged through the door, followed by an embarrassed-looking Xeala, who was still hauling the bag of clothes.

"Sasuke are you here?" Xeala asked, looking around the semi-empty house.

"Thanks for waking me up," came a voice, most likely Sasuke unless somebody sent Itachi back in time and put him in Sasuke's bed... highly doubted...

"YOU'RE WELCOME!" Xeala yelled happily.

"YOU KIDS KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE!" One of the neighbors yelled.

"Xeala, you idiot," Sasuke said and pulled his pillow over his head as Xeala turned on the light.

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Xeala said, then threw the bag of clothing onto Sasuke.

"OW," Sasuke said, then pushed the bag onto the floor. "Xeala I'm gonna hurt you..."

"Yeah, yeah, just sort through the clothing and find yours so I can have mine," Xeala said, then sat on the floor, leaning against her bed, and pulled her backpack out from under her bed, opened it, and took out her sketch book to start drawing.

"You draw me I'll kill you," Sasuke glared across the room.

"Yeah, sure you wi-where'd Naruto go?"

"...didn't he come in with you?"

"Yeah, he's probably eating ramen in the kitchen... he kept complaining about not having any energy and needing food..." Xeala shrugged and returned her attention to her sketching.

"Xeala."

"Hmm?" Xeala looked up. Sasuke was holding up a pair of his pants which had gotten hooked onto one of Xeala's bras... that's a bit embarassing... "O.O"

"You mind taking care of this?" Sasuke said, then threw it over onto her head. Xeala growled and pulled the pants/bra off her face and unhooked it.

"There," she threw Sasuke back his pants, "I hope they choke you."

"How do pants choke someone?"

"They just do."

"I'm sure," Sasuke said, then folded his clothing into a pile.

"YOU CAN FOLD CLOTHING!?" Xeala gasped.

"...I've been living alone since I was little... I sort of had to learn..." Sasuke growled under his voice.

"Don't you growl at me," Xeala hissed.

"I'll growl all I want to," Sasuke stuck his nose up in the air.

"Oh of course I can growl so much better than that!" Xeala said and put her hands on her hips.

"I could probably fall asleep faster than you too!" Sasuke said, hoping that someone would fall for it and be shut up and let him sleep for once...

"OH HELL NO!" Xeala threw her sketch book into her backpack and pushed it under her bed, then climbed into her bed and pulled her blanket over her head. "Sasuke turn off the light."

"Okay okay..." Sasuke threw a pillow at the light, which broke and sparked.

"Good job, you're buying the new one," Xeala muttered and closed her eyes.

"And I'm going to completely beat you to dream land with all the candy and happy you could imagine," Sasuke started talking about a little child's dreamworld...

"SHUT UP NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME HUNGRY!" Xeala threw one of her pillows in the direction of Sasuke, which hit him in the nose.

"You hit my nose..." Sasuke rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"SHUT UP AND SLEEP!"

"Kay."

**Next morning... **

"::yawn:: what's on my legs?" Sleepy Sasuke said and pulled the pillow off of his face to see Xeala sitting cross-legged on his shins.

"GOOD MORNING SLEEPY HEAD!" Xeala said happily, then completely mutilated Sasuke with a pillow and ran out of the room.

"...that was evil..." Sasuke said rubbing his head, then got out of bed and grabbed his clothes to get changed.

**IN THE KITCHEN! **

"XEALA! HOW COME THERE'S NO FOOD!?" Naruto complained, seeing as there was no pre-made breakfast.

"BECAUSE YOU IDIOTS DIDN'T GO GET ANYTHING TO COOK!" Xeala screamed back, then threw a frying pan at Naruto, who dodged it and the frying pan flew into the bedroom, hitting something with a _clunk._

"...Xeala... did you just..." Naruto said, thinking of the only thing she could have hit.

"...RUN RUN AWAY!" Xeala screamed and ran out the door of the house, then down the street as well.

"...oh boy..." Naruto said and took cover under a chair.

"XEALA I'LL KILL YOU!" An anime-vein-covered Sasuke ran out of the bedroom, seeing as he's the one she hit with that damned frying pan, and then ran out the door of the house.

"T.T I'm going to die with these people here..." Naruto said, then left the house, heading towards Ichiraku Ramen.

**In a tree somewhere. **

"Phew... he'll never find me here," Xeala said, hiding on a branch in a tree on the side of the road.

"Xeala."

"O.O"

"You're in for it now."

"I'll pay you."

"How much?"

"All the money in my wallet."

"DEAL!"

"Okay here you go," Xeala handed her wallet to Sasuke, who opened it greedily, then saw there was only a penny.

"That was cheap," Sasuke said, then took the penny.

"Oh look I see Naruto! Woah look there's a group of little kids about to take him down!" Xeala pointed to the other side of the street, and Sasuke swung down the branch below her and watched.

"What is he doing? And who's that guy in the black with that girl with the weird hair?" Sasuke asked.

"I dunno, I don't think he likes the little kids too much, seeing as he's now choking the one with the awkward hair and scarf..."

"Should we come to the rescue yet?"

"No not yet... wait til Naruto makes a fool out o-oh there we go he tripped now we can come to the rescue!" Xeala said and dropped a rock down to Sasuke, who caught it in his hand.

"Three..."

"Two..."

"One..."

"THROW!" Xeala said, and they threw the rocks at the same time, hitting the guy in the black with the purple tattoo stuff all over his face's hand, and the little kid fell to the ground. "They can't see me!"

"Haha the glory is mine!" Sasuke said, then turned his attention back to the guy dressed in black "You're a long way from home and you're way out of your league," Sasuke said.

"SASUKE!" Sakura yelled happily.

"Oh yeah, way to sound cool Sasuke," Xeala said, then swung around the branch and kicked him in the back and down to the ground.

"SASUKE!!" Sakura yelled sadly now.

"Great, ANOTHER one." The guy in black said.

"Oh shut up, Kankurou," Xeala sat down on the branch and crossed her legs.

"O.o How do you know my name?"

"...wow nobody here has the memory capacity to remember electric blue hair..."

"...Who are you?"

"I'm Xeala, better than Sasuke, who thinks he's all that even though I just pummeled him straight to the ground without him even thinking I'd be attacking him and you can tell your friend with the red hair and the gourd that if he thinks he snuck up on us then he's quite wrong," Xeala said and pointed next to her, where a pale kid, emo-looking, with red hair, no eyebrows, what looks like three inches of eyeliner, and bright blue eyes was now standing upside down and had just appeared there with the speed of a jounin.

"You knew he was there?" The girl next to Kankurou asked surprisedly.

"Of course, he may be the quietest and sneakiest of you people but the sand in that gourd makes a lot of noise," Xeala crossed her arms and turned up her nose.

"..."

"So Gaara," Xeala said, "how are you?"

"...broken..."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE'S NAME?" Sasuke yelled from the ground where he had landed.

"BECAUSE I'VE SEEN EVERYONE BEFORE BITCH!" Xeala yelled and dropped her shoe onto Sasuke's head.

"...these Genin are all below us..." Gaara said and crossed his arms.

"Gaara do you like chocolate?" Xeala asked, and Gaara's eyes flashed towards her quickly.

"...maybe not all of the Genins but most of them..." Gaara said as Xeala handed him a chocolate bar.

"Gaara!" The girl with the weird hair yelled, "You aren't supposed to have chocolate!"

"DON'T YOU TOUCH MY CHOCOLATE!"

"Ooh sibling rivalry..." Xeala said and swung down off the branch and landed on currently-K.O. Sasuke, knocked out from all of Xeala's sneak random attacks, "Temari you should learn to let Gaara have what he wants or he'll get you, and you know he will," Xeala finished.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE'S NAME!??!!" Naruto now asked.

"WHERE DO YOU THINK I WAS THE MANY YEARS BEFORE I CAME HERE LIKE A HALF A MONTH AGO!? I WAS AT ALMOST EVERY VILLAGE EVER!! I KNOW WHO ALMOST EVERYONE IS!"

"Oh, okay," Naruto said.

"You came to the Sand?" Temari tilted her head to the side.

"Maybe," Xeala shrugged, "let me guess, I know all of your names, does that mean I went to the sand? Maybe. Maybe not."

"...this girl confuses me," Kankurou said, "why can't you brats just all leave?"

"Because then there wouldn't be any fun," Xeala said and picked up her shoe off of Sasuke's head, then kicked Sasuke a few times, "Mmm... he's out..."

"No, really?" Naruto asked sarcastically.

"Shush fox boy," Xeala said and threw her recently re-attained shoe at him, which hit him in the forehead.

"Hah! If you Genin can't even dodge a shoe thrown by a girl you're going to be easy to beat!" Kankurou laughed, right before Xeala appeared in front of him and punched him in the face. Temari gasped, Naruto gasped, Sakura gasped, and I gasped whilst righting this.

"Don't you ever doubt a Genin," Xeala said scarily, in her scary Mangekyou voice... ( RUN RUN AWAY!)

"You bitch!"

"Don't you forget it," Xeala said and walked back over to Sasuke and picked him up by his collar, then screamed in his face, "SASUKE THERE'S ITACHI!" Sasuke's eyes bulged open and he jumped down and spun in a circle with his kunais out ready to throw them at the first sign of Itachi.

"WHERE!?"

"I lied," Xeala said, then returned her attention to Kankurou. "So how's that nose puppet boy?"

"What did you call me?!"

"Puppet boy! Puppet boy! Puppet boy!" Xeala laughed while spinning in a circle.

"Will you all stop talking?"

"Oh sorry Gaara-san, don't go Shukaku on our asses okay?"

"Shukaku?" Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto all asked.

"Umm... don't ask!" Xeala said and rubbed the back of her head.

"How do you know so much!?" Temari asked.

"Cuz I rule," Xeala said and put her hands on her hips.

"Oh Xeala you didn't go to train this morning," Sasuke said.

"O.O I DIDN'T!?"

"No because you didn't wake me up at 1 like you always do," Sasuke said happily.

"NO!" Xeala fell on her knees.

"Gaara... stop glaring at Kankurou! I would have killed him as well," Xeala said from the corner of her eye.

"..." Gaara turned to sand and then appeared on the ground.

"Now Gaara don't be rude," Xeala put her hands back on her hips, "AND NARUTO STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS THE LITTLE CHILDREN!" Xeala said and stamped her foot.

"G-Gaara we should go," Temari said.

" . chicken," Xeala said.

"WHO DID YOU CALL A CHICKEN!?" Kankurou yelled.

"You and Temari, but Gaara is someone I'm not gonna piss off, he's a bit off of the charts for this place and time," Xeala crossed her arms, then glared at Temari and Kankurou.

"Sasuke Naruto and Sakura, and little children people, we're going to leave now," Xeala said and turned her nose up, then walked away. Gaara and his little group walked away the other way. "Ninjas hiding in the trees please stop spying on us NOW," Xeala yelled and growled, glaring at the trees.

"Xeala there's no one in those trees!"

"Really? I beg to differ." Xeala yelled and threw a few kunais into the tree, which were followed by an OW! "I WIN!" Xeala said and disappeared, then appeared again with some pieces of clothing.

"Xeala you ARE insane!" Naruto yelled.

"Aren't I now?" Xeala said and laughed.

**Okay i just fixed this chapter so please review!!**


	25. Idk my bff jill?

**Random thing i just noticed... NINJAS ALL SHAVE THEIR LEGS.  
**

**Next morning.**

**  
**"Chuunin exams Chuunin exams!::singing and skipping in circles around team 7::" Xeala sang and skipped around team 7 as they walked down the road.

"Xeala... shut up..." Sasuke drooped his head.

"Please Xeala we've been dealing with you for like twenty minutes and already sick of you..." Naruto said rubbing his head.  
"Xeala... go bother the sand Genin... please..." Sakura said almost about to drag herself back home.

"Oh fine we'll just go wait for Kakashi then," Xeala said and disappeared.

"Where'd she go?" Sakura said, looking in ever direction for Xeala.

"Sakura by now you should have figured out she's as fast as a Jounin..." Sasuke said depressedly.

"Sasuke! You can't mean she's faster than you!" Sakura said biting her nails nervously.

"..."

"HAHA SASUKE'S SLOW!" Naruto laughed and punched Sasuke, who backhanded him in the face and Naruto flew backwards.

**Waiting on the bridge... **

Xeala was standing on the railing of the bridge in a ballerina pose, just standing there with her arms outstretched, one leg on the rail, and the other almost touching her head.

"Xeala!" Sasuke threw a rock at her, and she dodged it, lost her footing, then fell into the river.

"SASUKE!" Drenched Xeala screamed and jumped onto the railing, then launched at Sasuke before he had time to think, but was caught mid-air. "HEY PUT ME DOWN!" Xeala flailed in the air to try and get put down.

"Sorry I'm late, I got lost on the path of life..." Kakashi said, holding Xeala in the air by her collar, who looked like she was about to burst into flame.

"LIAR! NOW PUT ME DOWN SO I CAN MURDER SASUKE!" Xeala said as her feet touched the ground and she reached out to chase and/or murder Sasuke, but Kakashi was still holding on to her shirt.  
"No. Anyway, I know this is a bit sudden, but I recommended you for the Chuunin exams, all three of you. These are the application forms." Kakashi said and released his hold on Xeala, who fell flat on her face.

"Application forms?"

"You're repeating me Sakura. This is all voluntary, it's up to each of you. If you don't feel ready, you can wait til next year." Naruto jumped onto Kakashi.

"Ugh don't slobber on my vest! Whoever wants to take the exams sign the application and come to room 301 at the academy. It's at 3 pm, five days from now. That's it." Kakashi said.

**Five or six minutes later... **

"Sasuke... give me a piggy back ride... I'm tired..." Xeala said and yawned, stretching her arms, following Sasuke home.

"Xeala you know as well as I do that you're able to endure days without sleeping..." Sasuke said and continued walking.

"Fine Sasuke you know what I'm just gonna go home alone, boo-hoo!" Xeala began tearing and fake-crying, then walked away.

"Bye Xeala." Sasuke said and walked in the other direction. Xeala, having realized that she hadn't made him any softer, turned around and threw a kunai past his head.

"YOU BASTARD HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE!" Xeala stomped her foot. Sasuke waved without looking back. Xeala turned back around and walked off into the forest part of Konoha for some reason... why?

**::shrug:: I dunno.**

"...Why did I walk out here?" Xeala said after she had walked half a mile.

"AHA! A Konoha Genin! I'll take you down faster than anyone else!" Someone screamed and a foot came down towards Xeala, she turned and sidestepped out of the way.

"Hey! What's wrong with you!?" Xeala sprang three kunais out towards the person, who seemingly dodged them all. Three scratches appeared on his face and started bleeding. "HAH! That's what you get when you deal with me!' Xeala said and appeared behind the person, then kneed him in the spine, jumped in front of him as he buckled down and caught him in the face. The person flew backwards, then disappeared. "GET BACK HERE YA CHICKEN!" Xeala screamed and started jumping through the trees in the direction the person flew.

**Three minutes later... **

Xeala jumped off a branch and realized that was the last tree to jump on, and tried to somehow fall back onto the branch, only ending up doing half a flip in the air and falling directly onto a different limb, her back hitting it head on.

"Uh... Ow... owww... owwwwwww..." Xeala rolled over and rubbed her back, then pulled a kunai out of her belt-pouch and opened her back up like usual. "Much better..." Xeala said as her back healed over. Xeala then realized that the back of one's shirt is needed for the front to stay on.

"SHIT." Xeala held her shirt to herself tightly and ran back to the house as fast as she could.

**At home... **

"Xeala where were you?" Naruto asked, eating cup ramen in the kitchen, as Xeala ran through the door looking panicky.

"I WENT IN THE WOODS AND FELL OFF A TREE AND THEN I HURT MY BACK SO I CUT IT OPEN SO IT WOULD HEAL AND THEN MY SHIRT SORT OF DIED!" Xeala yelled running into the bedroom and digging through the pile of clothing under her bed for a shirt.

"Xeala... you don't have any shirts left do you..." Sasuke said reading a book whilst facing the wall on his bed.

"No..." Xeala said depressedly, then ran over to Sasuke clutching her shirt, "Sasuke come on we'll go get new clothes for me! We'll go shopping come on!" Xeala said, then holding her shirt up with one hand, grabbed Sasuke's wrist and started hauling him out of the house. Sasuke, as a last resort to even out the torture, grabbed Naruto and dragged him as well.

"Xeala we really have no want need or desire to come shopping with you." Sasuke crosses his arms. Xeala tugged at a barely-visible string, and Sasuke twitched, seeing as she had jammed another hook into his hand. Naruto saw this and didn't talk at all.

"Sasuke Sasuke you better learn or you're gonna be hurtin'," Xeala said and smiled.  
"Xeala... stop putting strings and hooks in me..."Sasuke said and rubbed his hand.  
"Not until you are able to jump at a finger-snap," Xeala said and snapped her fingers.

"That's gonna be never," Sasuke growled, and Xeala jolted the string again.

"Watch your mouth Sasuke," Xeala said and wagged her finger at him, "OH LOOK CLOTHES!" Xeala said and ran off in the direction of a clothing stall.

"How come the strings didn't pull?" Naruto said.

"...they probably will when we're least expe-RUN NARUTO CATCH UP WITH XEALA!" Sasuke said and ran after Xeala. Naruto ran as well, grabbing onto Sasuke's shoulder to try and keep up.

"You're pretty good at figuring out what was gonna happen, but anyway," Xeala said, walking out from behind a corner.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!" Naruto gasped, as Xeala had completely different clothing now. Xeala was now wearing a white sweater that slumped on the shoulders and was short enough to show all of her stomach, and dark denim (short, not long) shorts, and black sneakers, her brown belt with all of those pouches on it still there, seeing as that's where her headband is... and some of those random stupid bandages that started somewhere under her shorts and went down to right below her knees. (ninjas without those stupid shoes! Anyway, hopefully i'll find my scanner and get the picture up...)

"Yeah it's something called agility and speed," Xeala shrugged.

"Xeala your bra is showing," Sasuke pointed. Xeala looked down.

"No it's not!"

"I never said which part of it, I meant the straps, you baka," Sasuke sighed.

"UGH SASUKE YOU'RE SO STUPID!" Xeala yelled and chucked a kunai towards Sasuke's face.

"I'm going to kill one of you..." Naruto sighed, "anyway, Xeala can we go home NOW?"

"Kay," Xeala said, and threw five bags at Naruto and Sasuke, then skipped towards home as they dragged them slowly.

**Ugh i know it's been forever I was trying to plan Xeala's outfit and it just wouldn't come to me and i had writer's block but hey look i updated!!! WHEE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!**


	26. Wheeeeee birdies

**YOU ALL BETTER HAVE GONE AND SEEN XEALA ON DEVIANT!  
If you didn't, you're not allowed to go til the end of the chapter.**

**Otherwise baaaad spoilers.**

**Very bad.**

**I put more stuff up you idiots that's why. **

**- . **

**Okay new chapter for the readers!**

"Wake up," Xeala whispered.

"Gzzz..."

"WAKE UP!" Xeala now yelled and was about to kill Sasuke.

"What?!!" Sasuke asked from under his pillow, which he had learned now protected his face from frying pans and whatever Xeala pelted at him.

"Get dressed, you're coming with me," Xeala said angrily, and thunder shook the house.

"ARE YOU INSANE? IT'S NOT EVEN TWO AM! AND IT'S POURING RAIN OUT!" Sasuke screamed at her.

"Yes. It is. That's why we're going right now. Because if we go any other time, we'll both be dead. Plus, you have to come because I need much more fire-power," Xeala said and chucked clothing into Sasuke's face, which he had just exposed.

"Why not Naruto! He could help... or at least share the torture..." Sasuke mumbled.

"Naruto is an extremely loud obnoxious child who will scare... someone..." Xeala looked at the floor, "...well... just get up, we're going to the training field. Now."

"What does this have in it for me?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Ugh. What else. The only other reason that you wake up at two am every morning. To kill a certain someone, am I right?" Xeala said and turned around, to see Sasuke pulling his shoes on and fully dressed.

"I thought so," Xeala whispered and walked out of the room, "oh, be very quiet, or this will all be a waste..."

"I didn't plan on talking to you," Sasuke rolled his eyes, then received a heavy shoe implanted in his face.

"Ugh... I don't have time to fight with you right now, hurry up," Xeala said and walked out into the pouring rain.

"I hate you!"

"I know."

"Well," Sasuke paused for a minute, "good."

"Wow. Worst comeback ever much?"

"SHUTUP!"

"I will," Xeala said, having stalled Sasuke enough that they were almost out of building-town-area, "and you need to as well now."

"Xeala? You sound weird,"

"I know, now please be quiet, sit down, don't give me that it's raining shit, and just make a very big fireball, only once we get to the farthest point of the training field though, we need to be out of sight." Xeala said, surveying the dark.

"Xeala... you're starting to creep me out."

"I should have done that the moment we met," Xeala said and walked farther into the field. She turned around and started walking backwards, and then stopped when the village was completely out of view. She pointed to the ground. Sasuke sighed quietly and sat down, as did she. Xeala moved the hair away from her ears.

_Ching... _

Xeala smiled and looked back at Sasuke, who was about to faint from not breathing. Xeala widened her eyes, then realized what was going on, and took over fire duty.

"Xeala... what is that sound?" Sasuke whispered quietly.

"A bell," Xeala said from the corner of her mouth while making the fire, she held it a bit longer, then stopped and the fire disappeared.

_Ching-a-chiiing. _

"Good," Xeala whispered and lie down on the wet ground, "Sasuke, you hear it, the bell ringing brilliantly? Isn't it beautiful?"

"Xeala what's going on?" Sasuke said and stared into the trees. A small speck of fire was coming straight at them, very small.

"SHIT! SASUKE I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK!!" Xeala said and tackled him out of the way, then dragged him into the trees, "You spooked him shit fuck... how much bigger can you make the fireball?!" Xeala ordered and let Sasuke go.

"Not much..."

"Fine then, just make it now!" Xeala screamed and began doing seals. Sasuke squinted, trying to read the seals, but since the dark was so... dark... and the rain being a bad thing, he couldn't tell. Xeala whispered under her breath and jumped out of the trees and towards the current fire, and then jumped backwards as it exploded enormously.

"Xeala..."

"Shutup shutup shutup!" Xeala said and started jumping to the top of the tree. Sasuke stared for a minute, then followed. Staring out over the treetops, it looked like a small bird the color of fire was coming towards them. Sasuke took a few steps forward, then realized that was no small bird the color of fire. _That bird is ON fire, and small? Hell no that bird could be half a mile away! _Sasuke thought as Xeala stood there calmly. "Sasuke... you're angered him..." Xeala crossed her arms, then raised an eyebrow as Sasuke stared at her with the most confused look a person can get. "Don't ask me, ask the bird throwing the fit," Xeala sat down on the treetop, staring out at the bird who was thrashing about wildly, a bell ringing loudly, making an unclear path for them.

"What the hell is that!"

"A bird," Xeala sighed, then rolled onto her back, pulling something out of the pouch on the side of her belt. She stretched her arm up in the air and shook it.

_Ching. _

A lower tone bell rang, and Sasuke looked into Xeala's hand, where a white bell hung from a silver yarn.

"Xeala... what the hell is going on! Fuck that I don't want to kno-Xeala where'd the bird go?" Sasuke said as he noticed the bird was gone. Xeala stood up and brushed herself off, then handed the bell to Sasuke.

"Ring that in a few more seconds," she said and held her arm straight. Sasuke rang the bell, then handed it back to Xeala.

"Nothing happened," Sasuke said, then angrily started making his way away from her.

"So ignorant as to not notice the flames staring you straight in the face Sasuke?" Xeala yelled out and ran up to him. Sasuke turned around to yell at her, then was hit in the middle of his forehead with something sharp, pointy, and on fire. Sasuke flew backwards off the trees. "...Sasuke... come on snap out of..." Xeala watched Sasuke start falling, "Uh-oh..." Xeala shoved the bell back into her belt-pouch and took off down the trees, jumping as fast as she could to try and stop the Uchiha's fall. _Goddamn that bird..._ Xeala jumped down to the ground and held her arms out. Sasuke crashed straight onto her. "Owww..." Xeala moaned and shoved him down.

"What the hell hit me!" Sasuke said, touching his forehead which had been slightly burned.

"What else?" Xeala said and held her arm out straight to the side of her again. A white dove, about 7 inches from head to the beginning of it's tail, which was around 4 inches long, landed gently on her arm.

_Ching._

Sasuke stared at the bird, then noticed a black string around it's neck, with a black bell hanging from it in the center of it's chest.

"Meet the best of the best, the all-time Rockstar in ninja animals, Pyralis, or... Py for short," Xeala said, petting the little birds head.

"...that... is... the humongous flaming bird of doom and destruction?" Sasuke asked. Xeala nodded. Sasuke fell backwards onto the ground unconcious.

"Oops... Py, i think you scared him..." Xeala giggled and started dragging Sasuke back home, the little dove sitting on Sasuke's head, apparently waiting for him to wake up so he could take over Xeala's job of pummeling the shit out of him.

Or you know, just being a dove and doing what doves do.

**OKAY. Now you can all go look on deviant. **

**Type in on your browser ** Crystallicdark14. **or be lazy and copy/paste. Whichever method you choose. I haven't gotten Pyralis' normal form up there yet but it will be shortly. **

**Maybe other pictures too!! **

**n.n Kay make sure you review!**


	27. massive overload

**Hey everyone okay I'm a bit low on the updating lately... stupid tutoring is getting in the way of my life... anyway. **

**Dun.Dun.Dun.DUN!**

"Alright wake up we have 0 days left to do shit so we're working our asses off now!" Xeala screamed in the bedroom, shaking Sasuke and Naruto from their beds.

"Xeala...it's too early," Naruto said, burying himself in the blankets.

"OH NO!" Xeala said and ripped him from his bed by his ankle, holding him upside down in the air.

"Okay okay don't bite my head off!" Naruto said as Xeala put him down. Sasuke groaned.

"Shut up Sasuke." Xeala shot at him, and he caught her glare dead on, and for the first time, it sent a chill down his spine.

"..."

"Okay Naruto I'll take you instead of the shithead, let's go train," Xeala said and walked to the kitchen.

"Naruto, why do you like her?" Sasuke asked upsetly.

"Xeala's so nice! How can anyone not like her?" Naruto asked, and followed Xeala out of the house. Sasuke stared at the ceiling and sighed. Moments later, movement outside of the window caught his attention, and he reached under the bed for a kunai. Xeala slid over the window banister.

"I listened to your story, now you listen to mine," Xeala said, crossing her arms and sitting on the edge of Sasuke's bed.

"I thought you were with Naruto training," Sasuke hissed back.

"I sent 20 or so shadow clones to keep him occupied," Xeala replied, "now you want to know what happened to someone besides yourself?"

"Do I have a choice?" Sasuke said and turned his nose up again, and Xeala, for once, didn't punch him.

"Only if you don't want to listen to something worse than your life," Xeala said, then began what would become a long story. "Long ago, quite a few refugees mustered into and almost official village, consisting of almost every clan one could imagine. They were obsessed with creating the ultimate weapon, as are all Hidden Villages, and tried by using means other than the Tailed-Beasts," Xeala said and looked down. "The way they did this was by scientific experiments, starting with gene splicing, then becoming more than that, they infused chips into the very cores of those subject to the experiments," Xeala moved her arm seeming uncomfortable, "not only humans, but animals too, permanently or temporarily storing jutsus into them that could be accessed at any time. The latest generation of their experiments were super-children. They gained the name 'Jutsu Stealers' from the ability to absorb jutsus from any person they meet, even if they didn't know of the jutsu before, the knowledge and experience of the person they meet is stored and added to the person's own ability."

"Xeala, this is all interesting and whatnot, but I don't see any relevance to you," Sasuke said impatiently.

"And that is where I came in. Before I was even born, they removed me from my genetic mother, killing her in the process, to make it look like the child was never born. By combining all the research they had done so far, they turned me into this," Xeala said and held her hand up in front of her face, "with Pyralis, they simply stored so many fire jutsus into him that he was able to do what he does, turning into the giant firebird you saw not too long ago," Xeala said and looked down.

"Our semi-village was in a horrible location though, and before I was old enough to know what was going on, it was torn down in a mere swipe. Located in the Rice Field Country, the new Sound Village went up not far from where my home was located. It was the fault of them that no one even knew we were existent. They destroyed everything we had, papers, machines, homes, everything." Xeala said as a single tear went down her cheek, and her voice went choky, "The sound village is responsible for my village's destruction, and no matter what it takes, Pyralis and me will destroy them. Permanently." Xeala said, then walked away to her bed, "and Sasuke, if you think you're life was fucked up, you're completely right. And it's going to get worse by the minute. At least people like you, poor Naruto, all the adults of the village are scared of him and show it by making fun of him, just because he has the Kyuubi sealed inside of him, though you didn't know that. The whole village is under the impression he's a monster. He never even had a family. Be thankful you have those memories to look back on." Xeala said, then curled up into her own bed. Sasuke stared blankly, then snapped at the amount of information he just took in. He fell backwards onto his pillow and stared at the ceiling.

**Okay yeah short chapter but, I UPDATED IT'S AMAZING.**


	28. UHOH OH NOO!

**::dieing:: i'm dieing over here... just got the computer back after groundedness with a whole bunch of new ideas. HURRAY!!!**

THE DAY TO GO TURN IN APPLICATIONS AND STUFFZ.

"Zzzzz... not now... too early..." Xeala tossed in her bed and opened her eyes, as an afternoon sun shed light into the bedroom. Xeala closed her eyes again.

Five...  
Four..  
Three...  
"OMG WHAT THE FUCK!!! IT'S THE AFTERNOON ALREADY!?!? NO!" Xeala screamed, hopping out of the house on one foot and trying to put the other shoe on, clothing sloppily thrown on. Once the shoe was on properly, she stood up and fixed her clothing, backpack on back. _Okay, paper... in backpack. good. Okay. Compose self... and...GO!_ Xeala ran as fast as possible into the ninja academy, hoping she wasn't late. A large group of people were surrounding a door with two people in the way of it. _I wonder what's going on ove-OMG I CAN'T SLOW DOWN! _ Xeala realized when she wasn't slowing down, about to collide head on with the crowd.

**Announcer 1: **And bowler number two rolls up at a very fast pace, very fast.  
**Announcer 2**: She would have been better off a little slower, she's about to hit straight through those pins...  
**Announcer 1: **I agree with you, oh! What's this! Bowler number two has just hit a perfect strike to the back of the pins!  
**Announcer 2: **Simply amazing! The lack of composure and total uncontrollability of that was the perfection in which all great collisions happen.

Yes. Xeala had just collided with the back of that group, flying into the middle of the two doors, then sliding down.

"Damnit she woke up," Sasuke murmured, and Pyralis flew out from behind him. She glared at the bird for letting her sleep in, then turned her attention to Sasuke, standing up and pointing at him rudely.

"YOU DIDN'T WAKE ME UP!" She screamed at him.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO YOU LAZY BITCH!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING LAZY!? YOU NEVER HELP CLEAN ANYTHING!"

"Well I guess you Genin won't be going to take your Chuunin exams after all," Genjuutsu-tized Izumo said. Xeala spun around, looking about ready to dismantle him limb by limb, then caught his eyes.

"...Are you serious?" She looked around, almost blindly, "did NOBODY see this genjuutsu? How stupid are you genin! This is clearly Izumo," she said, picking Izumo up by his collar, "and this... would be Kotetsu," Xeala said, lifting him up as well, "now why don't you go back to doing your job. Like, oh, I don't know... NOW!" Xeala hissed, then dropped them, kicking the door open to the next floor. Izumo and Kotetsu watched as the rest of the genin went up to the real third floor, then transformed back to normal. Izumo hit Kotetsu in the head.

"I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN'T BE FRIENDS WITH GENIN!" He yelled, then walked away.

"I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE SMART!!" Kotetsu said, chasing after Izumo.

"Xeala... could you.. maybe... tone down the temper?" Naruto asked from behind Xeala.

"No way. Naruto, you didn't wake me up either and I am about to explode."

"OKAY JUST ASKING!" Naruto said, now hiding behind Sasuke, who was keeping a safe distance behind Xeala.

"You! What's your name?" A questioning Neji asked from behind the group.

"Who? Me?" Sasuke asked, hoping somebody noticed him existing since Xeala stole his limelight.

"Shut up, I mean you! What's your name?" Neji asked, now reaching out to poke Xeala.

"DON'T DO IT!" Naruto yelled, stopping Neji from poking her, "Bad mood today really bad mood bad mood means death!" Naruto said.

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME ALREADY! GIRL WITH THE BLUE HAIR!"

" . . what?" Xeala spun around, completely clueless, "did somebody ask for me?"

"What's your name?" Neji asked, seemingly tired of asking this.

"...::snicker:: I'm not telling you," Xeala said, then narrowed her gaze to catch Neji's eyes, "Neji Hyuuga,"

".."

"OOOH TEAM SEVEN LET'S BE MOVING ALONG NOW WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE!" Sakura said, pushing the group out of the way.

"HEY! NO WAIT! NEJI I'M NOT DONE KILLING YOU YET!!" Xeala said, shaking her fist as the team was pushed out of view.

In the next room, as the team was now calm and walking towards pillars and light, somebody yelled.

"Hey you! With the attitude! Hold on!" Rock Lee yelled from the balcony thing.

"Xeala, you've got mail," Sasuke said, elbowing her.

"I didn't talk to that one, sir Emo of Uchiha-bore land," Xeala said, elbowing him back harder. The whole team sighed and turned around. Xeala looked around, then up, seeing Rock Lee, then broke out laughing, rolling back and forth on the floor and tearing. "OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS EYEBROWS! AND HIS HAIRCUT! OH MY GOD THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS!!! EVEN A GREEN JUMPSUIT TOO!? OH DEAR GOD I HAVE LIVED TO SEE IT ALL!!" All stared at her.

"Rude blue haired girl! Please do not make fun of me!" Rock Lee shouted, and Xeala, for only a moment, stopped laughing, stared at him, then fell over laughing again.

"Xeala shut up!" Sasuke yelled, then grabbed her off of the floor and shook her, "WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO SHUT UP!!?" Sasuke stopped talking for a second, then shook Xeala one more time, "Xeala shut up! Come on! If you don't shut up I'll make you!" Sasuke yelled at her.

Xeala non-stop laughter, joined by hiccups now, and tears of laughter

"Xeala..." Sasuke said, glaring at her whilst she laughed obnoxiously, "Don't. Make. Me. Do. That." Sasuke said grimly, and Xeala stopped laughing immediately.

"Sasuke? How did you do that?" Naruto asked.

"I threatened to kiss her," Sasuke shrugged, "You have to know people's weaknesses when they're a threat to you."

"I HATE YOU SASUKE!" Xeala yelled, then kicked him towards the wall.

"I HATE YOU MORE XEALA!!" Sasuke yelled, then started doing a seal.

"Sasuke you idiot," Xeala said, jumping towards him twice, then appearing behind him, "You leave yourself unguarded thinking that fire and frontal attacks will protect you, while behind you somebody sneaks up and stabs you," Xeala whispered, holding a kunai to the back of Sasuke's head. Sasuke growled and reached his leg behind Xeala's leg, sweeping it out from underneath her. Of course, Xeala had hold on Sasuke's collar, and threw him down first.

BOOM.

**Well. I think Rock Lee has backed off about now... or not... who knows I don't i just plan ahead so maybe if you people are lucky you'll have another chapter tomorrow! YEY!**


	29. ouch on sasuke's part

**Okay okay this is it. Hthe beginnning of the new chapter.**

"XEALA!!" Sasuke said and threw Xeala up in the air as he himself crashed down. Xeala reached into her pouch and pulled out multiple kunais, about to fan them out towards Sasuke. Xeala was ripped backwards down the the ground and slammed into the wood. Sasuke got up off the ground and looked over where she was, to see fire attacking Xeala. She screamed loudly.

"AAAAAH!!!OH MY GOD PYRALIS THAT TICKLES!!!" Xeala screamed in ...tickled delight?

The face of all in room: -- oh my god she did NOT just say that.

"Xeala.. you're being... attacked by a fire thing..." Naruto said, pointing at her with a face of disbelief. Xeala pushed the fire thing off of her, and pulled a white bell out of her pouch and rang it. The fire thing turned into Pyralis the cute little dove again. Xeala smiled, then walked away as the bird landed on her shoulder, Sasuke beginning his fight with Rock Lee. She didn't care. Xeala walked past a window, and looking into it caught sight of her reflection, backed up to fix her hair. _My hair is getting darker... What's that mean? _Xeala thought, then waited for... a... reply... . . don't ask me she's the crazy one.

_Well don't ask me I'm just a bird. P.S. Sasuke's in trouble back there. _

_Finally. I was wondering when you'd start talking to me again. _Xeala pat the little doves head gently.

_Well I couldn't play cold turkey this long._

_I know I know, now what's this about Sasuke being in trouble? Is he going to die? _

_Maybe... it depends on what that guy with the... odd... taste in appearance... can do. But Sasuke brought out his Sharingan like it's something that'll help him and the other guy is just using Taijutsu and Sasuke won't be able to use Sharingan against that. _

_Oh goody. _

_I would say. _

_Oh look the purple in my hair is spreading out. _

_CAN WE STAY FOCUSED FOR A FEW MINUTES? _

_Maybe. _

_I give up on you  
You told me that years ago.  
...I give up on you again.  
Nice.  
Well?_

_Well what?  
Xeala to the rescue?_

_OH RIGHT! XEALA TO THE RESCUE! BRUM BRUM BRUM BUM!!!  
Still the same old Xeala  
Always will be. Heh. _ Xeala smiled, then ran back to the room where the losers were, then looked up. Sasuke had been thrown into the air, and that stupid tasteless dude was under him... Xeala snickered for a minute, then returned her thoughts to what's going on.

_XEALA! HE'S GONNA MURDER SASUKE!! _Xeala's eyes bulged.  
_Are you serious? He's only a genin! What is he going to do? _

_I DON'T KNOW JUST UNMURDERFY SASUKE! _The bird pecked Xeala in the back of her head.  
"Ow," Xeala said, and rubbed her head, then flipped up towards the two Genin, kicking them both down to the ground. Upon landing, she stomped harshly over to Rock lee, lifting him up off the ground and thrusting him against the wall. "You stupid piece of shit!" Xeala bitch slapped him across the face. "You think you have the permission to use a forbidden jutsu!? Only certain people can do that, and you, stupid ass, are NOT one of those people!" Xeala hi-kicked him in the head down to the ground, then stomped over to Sasuke, who was looking on with fear, attempted to crawl away.

"SASUKE!" Xeala yelled, then implanted a drop kick into his groin. Sasuke shot up towards the ceiling, hitting it and crashing back down. "Your punishment has been completed," Xeala said, and dusted herself off. A hand landed on her shoulder.

"Hold it right there! Only brilliant Senseis of sparkling young Genin can dish out the discipline of truth!!" Gai said. Xeala screamed and zipped behind Sakura, screaming.

"HIS EYEBROWS, HIS CLOTHING! HIS HAIR!!" Xeala clawed into her hair like she was about to rip it out, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!??!!?" Xeala said, crawling onto Sakura's head...   
I don't know.  
She did it, not me. Send weird looks to Xeala.  
"..." All stared at Xeala, who looked like she was going to die from seeing these people.  
"HE IS SO FUC-" Sakura covered Xeala's mouth before she could finish that sentence. Weird person proceeded to punishing Rock Lee. Sasuke, who was cringing on the floor from having a kick to... well... yea... Naruto woke up and ran over.

"What happened?!"

"...that," Sakura said, pointing to Sasuke, cringing in pain on the floor. Naruto broke out laughing, and Xeala bit Sakura's hand, who withdrew it quickly in pain.

"Don't touch me slut," Xeala hissed, then walked away to the room where all other Genin were. She stood there dumbfounded by how many people there were, and Team 7 finally caught up, after a few minutes, Sasuke appeared to have recovered somewhat.  
"Lots of people..." Naruto said blankly.

**Wheee there's your chapter you all better review or you're dead. **

**DEAD YOU HEAR ME DEAD! **


	30. Uh oh spaghettio

**::YAWN:: Oh dear what now, 12:09 am? I seem to have waken from a most... _un_delightful dream, only to have the inspiration to provide my dearest reviewers with one more of their beloved chapters for the story. But, alas, I ramble in my words. Read and be merry.**

_It's been fives days now, five days sleepless. Five long days of waiting. And for what? To become a mere _Chuunin _in a stupid village of ninja idiots? I think it best if I was to go return to my dear comrades in Akatsuki. Yet look at me, sitting here, just now returning to logic? What must one do to achieve a state of mind in which the body and mind, spirit and soul is in peace, tranquil? Lasting this long awake, no sleep?! Oh, even to share a bed, just to rest a slight bit, it would so much please me to catch up on the sleep of which i have missed out upon. And now, I think it best if i return to my own, rest in the world of slumber, as that horrid testing begins yet tomorrow. _ Xeala thought loudly, sitting on the edge of the window as the midnight moon shone down, she turned to look back at her bed, where Pyralis sat sleepily.

_Xeala... I've lived a great time, and I barely understood a single word you just thought._ Pyralis thought back to her, sitting on her bed not too far off.

"Are you going to pass out yet?" A voice said from below the window. Sleepily and slowly, Xeala leaned forward to see who was speaking.

"Hello there, Itachi-kun," Xeala said, smiling as her eyes began creeping to sleep.  
"...are you on drugs?" Itachi said in a quite... well... disturbed, voice.

"Drugs I've not touched in all my years, be they few. I've slept not for five days and the white bird on my bed who talks to me and preaches to souls says I should have slept four days past," Xeala said, and Itachi nodded, as if he actually understood any of that. (I barely did and I'm the writer...)  
"It seems... there's been a problem... your mission is to be suspended as of tonight. You are to return to Akatsuki immediately, concious or not," Itachi said, his arms crossed. (AND ACTUALLY IN THE SLEEVES FOR ONCE! AMAZING!)   
"That's nice," Xeala said, completely oblivious to what Itachi just said, fell over forwards onto the ground face first. Itachi raised an eyebrow as she hit the ground unflinchingly.

"...and this is why I have patience unlike others..." Itachi said, staring at the blue-haired essence of clumsy.

_You are slow..._Pyralis thought to her, then grabbed her backpack in his beak, carrying it to the window. After securing himself inside said backpack... somehow... he rocked it over the edge to land on Xeala's back. Xeala, in as surprised a state as you can get after not sleeping for five days, slung the backpack over her shoulders as if she would stand up and walk around with it. Xeala attempted to stand up, groping the wall of the house to assist in bearing her own weight, plus that of her backpack. Itachi sighed, realizing there was no way she was bringing herself to Akatsuki like that...

"How long have you been awake?" Itachi asked, taking her backpack from her before she fell over causing sound to attract any attention to them.

"...::yawn:: five days..." Xeala said, her eyes almost completely closed now. Itachi looked at her upsetly. (remember itachi's wide range of expressions! -/.\- , -/.\- , AND! -/.\- )

"You. Are. Stupid." Itachi said bluntly, picking up the twelve year old in one arm.

"Yea...zZZZzzz..." Xeala had completely fallen asleep now. Itachi glared at her, since she couldn't report him for making rude faces, finding some way around the rules to get him in trouble with the Leader. Sighing, Itachi left... or should I say... FLED KONOHA LIKE A LITTLE CHICKEN! Bock! Bock bock-ba-bock! CHICKEN!  
...yea... no he just jumped out of the village via trees. He lived there too! Remember? n.n okay yea. 

_If they send me on these shitty ass messaging missions one more time, I swear to whatever deity above this world, I'm going to hurt someone... as badly as I can... _Itachi thought, quite disturbed with the fact Akatsuki kept sending him to talk to a twelve year old, when Deidara clearly got along with Xeala famously. Even Sasori would get along with the little twerp. But no. They have to send him? It's completely absurd, and annoying.  
_Hi.   
_Itachi blinked for a minute, pausing, since he was now out of Konoha. He looked around, making sure nobody was following. Then he decided to pursue where this second voice in his head was coming from.

_Have I missed enough sleep to be skitso? _  
_Look. In. The. Back. Pack. You. Dumb. Ass. Uchiha.  
_Itachi, now quite questionably wondering how some voice in his head was commanding him to do something, opened the backpack, and the white dove flew out, approaching Xeala, then resting on her shoulder, with hit's head pressed against her blue hair. Itachi poked the bird to make sure he wasn't going blind this fast. The bird pricked his finger with it's beak, oddly, the beak of a bird of prey instead of that of a dove. Itachi was now completely confused. (I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN OVER HERE!!)  
_Are... you... the bird? _

_Oh my dear lord you are slower than zombie girl over here. _

_...Well... it's... slightly odd... when a bird communicates mentally... vocal animals are barely standable as it is... _Itachi grabbed the bird around it's wings, as it wouldn't be able to fly this way.  
_Can you go back in the backpack and not ever talk again? _

_Yes on the first one, no on the second but I'll stay quiet til Xeala takes me out. _

_There is a God._ Itachi looked up at the sky and mouthed the words 'Thank you'. Putting the bird back into the backpack, Itachi slung it harshly over his shoulder and repositioned Xeala on his other arm, 12 year olds have oddly shaped bodies, don't ya know. Well, Xeala does... if that counts for anything. Does it? Ah, oh well. Right now, I'm guessing Itachi wants me to stop stalling this and get him back to Akatsuki so he can catch up on his 'gorgeous hot drop dead sexyness' beauty sleep. Well... maybe he'll stop to pick a few flowers or something... ( at this moment there were scary noises coming from outside the authoress' bedroom so she decided it best for her own health if she were to speed up this process of getting to Akatsuki)  
Itachi stomped into the Akatsuki place buidling thing. Throwing Xeala towards the couch, he realized there was about 110 pounds of muscle still stuck to his arm.  
"No. no. no," Itachi said, seeing as in Xeala's sleep, she had clamped her arms around his... now almost glued together. Itachi's face turned to the most horrified face one will ever see. "No!" Itachi shook his head and blinked, assuming he had gone into a state of hallucination and there wasn't really a 12 year old glued to his arm. "This... is madness... complete madness... I will not stand for this..."

_Then sit down, or lay down, whichever you prefer, _Pyralis replied smartly. Itachi kicked the backpack into the wall upsetly. ( he's like a hormonal teenager...i guess that makes him like me... lol...)  
"...candy..." Xeala said in her sleep, and her grip on Itachi's arm became extremely tight... I'm talking like those rubber bands they use to stop the blood flow in your arm when they draw blood or whatever those are for. Itachi stomped to his room, dragging Xeala along. Itachi walked over to his bed, sat down, hung his arm over the side of the bed so Xeala would be on the floor and as far away from him as possible, he didn't like her at all... well... i guess you could say that he could just barely tolerate her. But this was over the limit of toleration by 10000-fold. Itachi growled, then dropped hid head onto his pillow. _There's a twelve year old hyper as fuck girl clamped onto my arm, it's 3am. And there's no way I'm going to let her live in the morning if she doesn't wake up. _Itachi turned the other way and glared back towards Xeala, then rolled his sharingans and went to sleep. (haha, rolled his sharingans... get it? Lol... yeah i'm shot it's now 12:57am)  
**END CHAPTER! WHEEEEEEE!!!! HURRAH! HURRAH! HURRAH HURRAH! **


	31. Day one: return to Akatsuki DUNDUNDUN

**Barum bum bum. Barum bum bum. I slept last night now one more chapter for the revewers.**

Itachi woke up, still with his eyes closed. He noticed there was no longer a clamp on his arm, and sighed heavily, before something smashed directly into his chest, sending Itachi through the bed, as well as breaking it, to hit the floor. Itachi, angrily, opened his eyes, to no surprise, a blue-headed bundle of joy sitting on his chest with a look of I'm-going-to-rip-your-face-off.

"WHY!?" Xeala shook Itachi by the collar, extremely upset. Itachi, due to the being shaken so ridigly factor, barely understood his own thoughts, let alone his words.  
"W-wh-why wh-what?" Itachi said while being shaken.

"WHY DID YOU BRING ME BACK HERE!" Xeala screamed in his face, then let go of him waiting for an answer. Itachi rolled his eyes and pushed her aside. Xeala followed, punching him repeatedly in the side. After a few punches, Itachi began twitching. 10 punches, and he was ready to rip her head off with his own bare hands.

"BECAUSE LEADER TOLD ME TO ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE BITCH?" Itachi spat back at her, backhanding her in the face. She growled, planning to leap at him. "And, Orochimaru is going to be attending this year's Chuunin Exams," Itachi said, looking through his clothing now for something or anything to wear.

"And what does that have to do with me?"" Xeala said, sitting on the floor with her arms folded, legs crossed, and a pout on her face.

"You're a member of Akatsuki, Orochimaru has the ability to kill you, and is a sworn enemy of us, as we are to him," Itachi said, holding up a fishnet and examining it for holes.

...err... rips... not holes...

"...you expect me to lose to an old fag with an unearthly obsession with snakes?" Xeala asked, still pouting. Itachi snickered, in the way Itachi would if we knew what it was like.

"Yes, most definitely, absolutely," Itachi said, shrugging and walking out of the room with new clothing on his arm. Xeala growled, and leapt to attack him as he walked out. Unfortunately, he slammed the door just as she was about to kill him. TT evil Itachi ruins the fun. Xeala rubbed her head, ripped the door down, and proceeded to walking into an empty hallway.

-Five seconds later-

"XEALA!!!!!!!" Tobi screamed, about to come running and hug her, maybe he's not an official member yet, but, hey, he's there. In my book he is at least.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Xeala screamed and dove ontop of the nearest object, in this case it would be Hidan's head. BAD IDEA.

"...Xeala," Hidan said, looking directly ahead and glaring, about to turn into creepy Hidan to kill her, "You have three, two, on-"Xeala retreated from Hidan's head, backing to the wall slightly scared, turned and ran into the nearest room.  
Sasori's room.

DUN.DUN.DUN.DUN.

Five seconds later, Xeala ducked out of Sasori's room with an extremely disturbed expression on her face.

"...Sasori... has... a... wooden... vibrati-"Before Xeala could finish, as if she wasn't scared enough, Deidara came out of nowhere and glompified her, enough that she could possibly die from suffocation. As Xeala's face began to turn as blue as her hair, she struggled to free herself from Deidara's death hug.

"XEALA I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!" Deidara said happily.

"...et...o..."Xeala murmured under suffocation.

"Hunh?" Deidara asked, dropping her. Xeala grabbed her throat and breathed deeply, before standing up, then implanting her shoe into Deidara's lower center self... we all know where that is if you don't find a guy and locate the center, then look lower. Deidara crippled over, and Xeala walked towards Itachi's room to grab a brush, and we all know it's not possible to have hair THAT beautiful without a brush and gel and who knows what other god-forsaken products. Xeala brushed quickly through her now lion's-mane mess of hair. Xeala looked around, knowing Itachi had to have something fun to do in there. Anything. Even...  
Xeala lifted up Itachi's pillow, having destroyed the rest of the room, to find a Sudoku book. Xeala frowned.

_Are you kidding me... SUDOKU? NO WONDER HE'S SO STRESSED! _Xeala flipped through the pages, seeing all the scribbled out pages and incomplete puzzles. Xeala then realized what wondrous blackmail she had just stumbled upon, and dropped the book into her shirt, there's room enough for a cow in there...( It's one of those really small tiny ones like pocket sudoku or something... i dunno...) Xeala opened Itachi's door, looked out into the hallway for any signs of tackle-age, hugging, or death. Upon seeing everyone in Akatsuki was sitting down, maybe having a meeting, This could be the time to steal all the food... Xeala silently crept to the kitchen, made sure no one else was there, and looked around horrified. It seemed like nobody had EVER cleaned the kitchen. Xeala twitched as a horde of mice ran across the kitchen. _DOES NOBODY CLEAN HERE?  
_"WHO THE HELL TRIED TO BLOW UP THE KITCHEN!??" Xeala yelled out the door. They all turned and looked at her like, "what?" and Unnamed Female Member quietly slipped back to her room, unnoticed.

"Wasn't the other girl in Akatsuki the one who cleaned up?" Kakuzu asked the table of now-only male members. They all nodded. Leader got up and walked to Unnamed Female Member's room. He opened the door and of course, shouted at her.

"YOU ARE WORTHLESS!!!" Leader screamed, then closed the door and walked back. All stared at him, with their Why did we join this guys organization again? Xeala sighed and walked over to the table. Everybody was there, but there was something wrong... one person wasn't wearing a cloak. Xeala was a tad too disoriented to notice that.

"Hi," Xeala said, standing up while they were all sitting. They stared at her like ...? Hi?

"...hi...there... what's your name again?" Sasori asked, in his normal state of bodyness. Xeala glared at him.

"Xeala."

"Hi Xeala," they all said, like some Alcohol Therapy group... Xeala was now getting a little bugged with them. Xeala then created the idea to become a preppy little airhead for the next few minutes.

"Whatcha doin?" Xeala said, hugging Sasori tightly.

"...waiting for the meeting..."Sasori said, and Xeala unhugged him.

"Ew! Meetings are icky and all weird and quiet!" Xeala said, and hopped towards the next person...

"...Fishy man..." Xeala said, stopping to point at Kisame. He's a fish, but he sounds like a goat to me...

"Xeala... Kisame is not a fish..." Itachi said, shaking his head in his hands. Xeala looked up and hopped over, about to hug him as well before she realized that when Itachi had disappeared earlier, it was to take a shower. He was sitting there in a towel and soaking wet. Xeala snickered and turned around to face the wall. As her snickering turned to obnoxious laughter, her eyes started tearing, and light-headedness overcame her, she fell on the ground laughing loudly. Sasori used his puppeting skills to make her roll out of the room.

"anyway..." Leader said, "where were we?"

Xeala stood up after half an hour of laughing on the floor. It seemed the meeting had ended, and the now-brainwashed by dull unexciting talking members stood up to leave the room. They either had to go through the kitchen... or come this way. Xeala walked up the wall to be standing sideways above the door, waiting for the first person to walk into the room. All Xeala would be able to see is their hair, but she'd have to guess from there. First person, black hair. ATTACK! Xeala un-chakra-tized her feet and fell with arms outstretched onto the person.

**Who is this person? **

**Who? You ask? **

**Well you'll have to wait for the next chapter! Review and it comes faster!!!**


	32. Not even day 1 & the hideout's destroyed

**::sigh:: i need a life... I'm sitting here.. haven't slept... someone shoot me. Please.  
But I love you all too much to give out on you now. It's gonna be a wondrous day when I finsih this story... when I'm like... 20.  
Lol.  
No no I'm kidding it's not gonna take 6 years...  
Unless Naruto itself takes that long... . . this could prove conflictful...  
Eh.. I've got my basic thing do-Why am I still talking? Lol... I'm on crack (not really but u get it, right?)  
**

"RAR!" Xeala yelled, grabbing Itachi around his neck and pulling him over backwards. (Remember, folks, that Itachi just got out of the shower, and only has a towel, keep that in mind...) Itachi, startled, attempted to stop his fall by prying Xeala's hands apart, which ended up with him on his back on the ground. Xeala bent down and poked him in the middle of the forehead with her forefinger and middle finger, and he growled angrily. Now-scared, Xeala gulped and ran to Deidara, clinging onto his shoulder. _Kill the twerp. _Itachi's one and only thought at this time, he got up off the floor. He walked to his room calmly. Xeala sighed a heavy sigh of relief, and Deidara stood there like what the fuck's going on? Moments later, a now-clothed yet still cloak-less Itachi flew at Xeala and tackled her to the ground. Deidara, still confused as to what was going on earlier, now was completely confused, and proceeded to hitting himself in the head to make sure he was still sane. (YEAH RIGHT... . . He didn't hear that did he?)

"HE'S KILLING ME HEEELLLLPP!!!!" Xeala screamed, Itachi holding her in a headlock and pulling her hair backwards. Itachi isn't in the best mood today.

"ITACHI NO KILLING THE MEMBERS!" Sasori said, walking into the room. One look at Sasori, and Xeala's eyes widened, and she remembered what she had seen in his room yesterday. Turning around, she buried her head in Itachi's chest, hiding from Sasori.

Sasori – oo  
Itachi – ...oo...  
"MAKE THE SCARY PUPPET MAN GO AWAY!!" Xeala said, head still hidden, and pointed towards Sasori without looking at him. Leader walked into the room.

"You're all worthless!"

"..."Itachi looked hard at Leader.

"...uh-oh..." Sasori quickly walked out of the room. Deidara was spinning in circles even more confused. Leader walked over to Itachi and pulled Xeala's frightened body away from him.

"No. Killing," Leader said to Itachi sternly, then walked out of the room. Itachi growled as he left the room. Xeala stuck her tongue out at Itachi, then ran back into the room the people were coming out of. Itachi stomped into the room after her. ( THIS IS LIKE A GAME OF TAG!)

Observing the room, a blur of blue disappeared behind Hidan, who was staring up like he was having some inner thought communication with his God. ( My bets are that Pyralis is just playing pranks on him...) Itachi smirked, then walked to Hidan, who was still out of it. He grabbed Hidan and lifted him off the ground, then moved him over a bit. Hidan, of course, still not with us. Xeala, currently on the floor with her hands over her head, crawled backwards a little bit as the maddened Itachi approached. Xeala thought of the one thing she could do to possibly protect herself, which was to go Sharingan on Itachi's ass. But... Sharingan is a Uchiha gene... and... Itachi might be a little more in the mind to destroy her than he already was in. Therefore, Xeala went to more drastic measures.

"HELP HELP SOMEBODY HELP ITACHI'S RAPING ME!" Xeala screamed loudly, grabbing the attention of everybody. Itachi stood there frozen solid, and Xeala jumped up and ran out of the room. Itachi gritted his teeth, then proceeded to calmly go into the kitchen and get ice cream, his favorite of course, chocolate and black raspberry. (Thus was decided yesterday)  
_Xeala, it's bad enough I'm crammed into a bird's body, but torturing that idiotic Hidan and pretending to be God has gone far enough for one day. GET ME OUT OF THIS BACKPACK!  
Oh, My god! I am soooo sorry! Where are you!  
The backpack. Go find it.  
_Xeala opened Itachi's door, looked around, then tiptoed in to grab the backpack. Upon lifting the backpack and turning around, Xeala found herself nose-to-chest with a certain unhappy red-eyed human weasel.

"Going somewhere?"

"OO..." Xeala gulped, and her right foot took a step backwards. Itachi's eyes had completely caught Xeala in a death glare of hatred and doom. Her heart throbbed loud enough for even little Pyralis trapped in the backpack to hear it.

_Xeala... my string... it's... it's breaking! Xeala! _Pyralis panicked, knowing what happens when the bell strung around his neck falls off. (This hasn't happened for many, many years... and if a certain other authoress who saw the picture of what happens says anything, Liz, I know where you sleep...) Xeala herself knew perfectly well. But, in the current state of unparalleled fear and terror facing Xeala right now, even something that drastic didn't break her fear's barrier.

_Ba-bump. _  
Xeala stared into Itachi's eyes, standing in place as a statue. Itachi lifted his hand, and the gleam of light on metal caught Xeala's eye.

_Ba-bump.   
_ Xeala's frightened expression was reflected by the smile on Itachi's face, coming from the fact that soon, this annoying little 12 year old would be gone.

_Ba-bump. _

As Itachi moved to strike, a rush of wind from nowhere knocked him backwards into the wall, as Xeala was still frozen solid. From the eye of a hawk circling over the trees in the forest nearby, Akatsuki headquarters had just blown to pieces. But out of that rubble, something very large, was rising up. No... not large... monstrous... it's... the size... of... one of them...

**Oh dear oh dear what has Phoxsia done now? Tsk tsk, Phoxsia, you've destroyed yet ANOTHER hideout for evil! What will you do with yourself?! **

**Ah. Oh well. What will one do?  
If I can't write a chapter tomorrow... well...  
I don't come back home for 2 weeks, I'm going to camp... **

**I'll make sure to write something tomorrow though...**

Review, and i might update for you all tomorrow. 

**MIGHT. **


	33. oh boy

**I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!**

CAMP WAS COOL SO MANY PICTURES SO LITTLE TECHNOLOGY I MISSED IT SO I LUV TECHNOLOGY I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

Okay. That phase is over. Time for the chapter? 

Akatsuki members crawled out from the rubble of their now-destroyed home, only to stand in awe at what had done such a devastating thing. Xeala clapped her hands over her eyes, shaking her head from side to side, as the rest of Akatsuki just stared.

Before them was something larger than the tailed beasts, though... a much calmer and gentler aura seemed to emanate from it. A white-furred dragon now sat before them, like a large serpent with exceptionally long and lanky legs, and a turquoise mane went from mid-face and ended past the tail itself, having overgrown the dragon's length by a few meters. Two pale horns on either side of the mane were at the crown of the dragon's head. It bellowed in rage, and the ground shook. Maybe a mile long! This was clearly something out of the ordinary, and Deidara was the first to speak.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!!" Deidara squeaked, hiding behind Kakuzu, who was staring as well.

"Clearly not one of the tailed beasts, Deidara, as the one tail is not a dragon," Pein said, staring at the beast, "but that raises the question of _what it is,_" Pein turned to Xeala, who was now attempting to disappear by slowly and sneakily walking away from the rubble. She gulped loudly, then turn around.

"Um..."

"Xeala."

"...yes..." Xeala shuddered, awaiting some form of cruel punishment.

"You have blessed Akatsuki with a wonderful advantage over the world, not even a tailed beast emanates that amount of chakra! This is excellent!" Pein clapped his hands, applauding Xeala, for something that was a complete accident she was unaware of.

"_WHAT?_" Itachi yelled, "WHY DOES SHE GET CREDIT!? What proof is there that she's even connected to that... thing!?" With that, the large dragon moved it's long snout incredibly close to Itachi, so that Itachi then realized the thing's mouth was about three times his own height, that just being from the tip of nose to where the turquoise mane began. And of course, now pressed against an extremely large dragon's muzzle, Itachi decided he'd best not insult the dragon anymore, for... 'safety precautions'. The dragon growled, pressing harder against Itachi. Xeala smiled happily.

"Well you two seem to be best friends," Deidara joked, and Itachi shot him a glare. Deidara returned it with his own glare, and thus began the glare-off.

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN!" Xeala yelled, but was unheard by the two. She growled, then walked over to Itachi, shoving the massive dragon's head out of the way and shaking Itachi back to reality. "COME BACK TO EARTH ITACHI!" Xeala said, then stopped shaking him.

"I'm. Back."Itachi hissed, and the dragon, suspecting the tone as ill will towards Xeala, growled loudly, which moved the trees around it.

_Xeala. _

_I'm fully aware of the situation at hand, thank you very much, Pyralis. Now if you would be so kind as to back off of the Uchiha, I will deal with matters in my own ways, whether it be soul-crushing or not. _

_...fine._   
The massive dragon dropped it's head onto it's front paws and turned to the side, looking away from Xeala.

"Itachi, do you know where my backpack is?" Xeala asked, motioning towards the rubble.

"Not. A. Clue." Itachi said, then walked away.

"FINE BE THAT WAY BASTARD!" Xeala said, picking up a large piece of wall and throwing it towards him. The dragon blew the piece through the air and towards Hidan, who ducked just in time to avoid having his head knocked off. Xeala growled, and the dragon turned it's head away quickly, closing it's eyes and pretending to be sleeping.

"Um... Leader... what now?" Deidara asked.

"...oh... right..." Pein looked around and poked through the rubble, "I don't think we're gonna be here too much longer, that noise was probably noticeable for kilometers around... we'll need to get far away to avoid any attention being drawn here." Pein looked around, then pointed in a random direction, "That way."

"...why that way?"

"I really... don't know..." Pein said, shrugged, and started walking that way, past the dragon, as if that's something you see everyday.   
"...how long is this going to take?" Xeala asked, complainingly... and stuff...  
"Days... weeks...lalala..." Pein continued walking, as Xeala's draw hit the ground.

"WEEKS?! WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET FOOD!?!!" Xeala yelled.

"We... don't?"

"...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Xeala fell on the ground and rolled around on the ground, then grabbed Itachi's ankles. "ITACHIIIIII... FOOOOD... NONE... HELLLLLLP!" Xeala screamed, then looked up, to see Itachi holding his cloak around himself quite tightly, as if hiding something Xeala may see if she happened to look up from where she was.

"...Xeala... please... go... away..." Itachi said, nervously. Xeala rolled away to the next person.

"HIIIIIIIIDAN CAN I EAT YOUR ARM!?"

"GO AWAY SENSELESS TWIT!"

"...DEIDARA CAN YOU MAKE CLAY INTO FOOD!?"

"no."

"TOBI ARE YOU A LOLLIPOP?"

"I'm not even supposed to be in the show yet..."

"Kakuzu—"  
"No."

"Kisa—"  
"NO WAY!"

"...anyone?"

"Wait what about me?! I'm salad!"

"Salad bad."

"Fine.. you know what... since you refuse to feed me..." Xeala said, walking towards the dragon, and the whole of Akatsuki twitched in fear, as Xeala climbed onto the dragon's head and sat down, then crossed her legs and arms and turned her head away from them, "You're as going to deal with my singing."

"Well at least it's not pre-recorded shit like Shakira..." Itachi rolled his eyes and started following Pein.

"SHAKIRA SHAKIRA!" Xeala screamed over their voices, and they all shuddered. "OH BABY WHEN YOU DANCE LIKE THAT, YOU MAKE A WOMAN GO MA—"  
"SHUT UP XEALA!" Itachi screamed at her, and the dragon growled loudly at him.

'Fine. Deal with Torn."

"Torn?" They all asked, cocking their heads to the side. Xeala smiled evilly, and the dragon smirked as well.

"Oh dear god I know what that song is! NO DON'T SING IT XEALA!" Unnamed female member yelled to Xeala, who had begun the countdown to the song.

"I thought I saw a man brought to life, he was warm he came around and he was dignified, he showed me what it was to cry," Xeala said, jumping off the dragon's head and walking among the Akatsuki members, who rolled their eyes as she neared them, "well you couldn't be that man I adored," she poked Deidara's forehead and he frowned, clearly annoyed with the song already, "But I don't know him anymore, there's nothing where he used to lie, my conversation has run dry, that's what's going on, nothing's wrong, I'm torn!" She poked Kakuzu from behind, then twirled around and flicked Hidan's forehead, continuing to twirl, then stopped twirling in front of Itachi, who braced for the worst of the song, "I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel, Illusion never changed into something real, I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn," Xeala finished, and Itachi opened his eyes to see that Xeala had, actually, locked them in an Illusion, grinning madly. Looking, up, the sky had actually been ripped in two, and Itachi growled at the background music to the Illusion. "So I guess the fortune teller's right," Xeala said, shrugging and holding her hands up, a crystal ball appearing in one, "Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light," Xeala said, chucking it at Itachi, who caught it amazingly, then looked down into the crystal ball for a minute, to see an image of Sasuke sitting on a rock, "To crawl beneath my veins and now, I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much," Xeala turned away from Itachi, and the background of the crystal ball faded to Orochimaru's face, "There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn, I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel," the image of Sasuke changed, and showed him in his first curse form, and Itachi raised his eyebrows, "I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor, Illusion never changed, into something real, I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn, you're a little lite, I'm already torn... torn..." The image warped again, showing Sasuke in his second curse form, which, I must say, is HIDEOUS, and Itachi's hands tensed around the crystal ball, "there's nothing where he used to lie, my inspiration has run dry, that's whats going on, nothings right, I'm torn," Xeala continued, the genjuutsu going away now, "I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel, I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor, illusion never changed, into something real, I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn, I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel, I'm cold and I am shamed, bound and broken on the floor, you're a little late, I'm already torn," Xeala finished the song, walking back over to the dragon and caressing it's face. Itachi, now engulfed in rage, stomped after Pein instead of walking.

"Xeala, it's _wonderful _that you can sing, BUT PLEASE NOT RIGHT NOW!" Pein yelled, and she shot him a glare.

"...Baby you're all that I want... when you're lying here in my arms, I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven!" Xeala started to sing Heaven, and they all moaned. "I don't see you coming up with a better idea! You already said I'm not gonna be eating!" Xeala snapped at them, and the dragon slammed it's tail on the ground angrily, shaking the ground.

"Xeala Xeala... let's... let's compromise... we'll... we'll go shopping!" Pein pleaded stupidly, and Xeala smiled.

"Good." 

**WOOOOOOOT! Okay. Chapter done, been home idk how many days, 3? 2? I dunno. Oh well. Review or no new chapters. TAKE IT BITCHES. **


	34. Shopping

**::yawn:: starting time... 11:30pm. July 23, 2007.**

begin.  
**  
**"I want a box of popsicles, and new shoes, and a lot of black and red silk fabric, along with some white, and fishnet, and thread, and needles, and hot pink ribbon, and then I want some other things but I'd rather not discuss those out loud, but I want some ramen cups and some playing cards and poker chips, and and and and and and and um... I think that's it." Xeala finished her fifth list of things she wanted when they went shopping... Kakuzu was sitting on top of a tree; they had tried to ask for some money to borrow. So, thus begins the trek to find a store.

DUN.

DUN.

DUN!!!!!!!!!

"I'm tired someone carry me this is boring I wanna get there already how much longer this is taking for ever ahhhrrrr!" Xeala complained as they neared a little peaceful village.

"How about fucking shutting you big fatass mouth, hm?!?" Hidan snarled, clearly annoyed.

"Well how about you go fall in a ditch." Xeala replied, horrid comeback though...  
"How about you go die!?"

"MAYBE I WILL!"

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD YOU LITTLE FUCK!"

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD YOU STUPID ASS RELIGIOUS DUDE!"

"OOOOoooooh, burn, yeah!" Deidara inserted to the conversation, receiving glares from both. "Oh... bad time... mm..."  
"MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO EAT DIRT!"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD EAT WORMS!"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP TALKING"

"YOU **SHOULD **STOP TALKING!"  
And with that, Hidan was defeated.  
HUZZAH!   
"Okay, we'll divide into a few groups to look for the things on the list..." Pein said, holding up five different sheets of paper. He looked up to the dragon, then back down to the paper, "Xeala... you might want to tell your friend to go a little away from the village... so they don't see the giant dragon looming over them..."

"Hunh? Oh, oh yeah," Xeala said, then turned around. _Can you like... i dunno... go a few miles off for a minute? We need to buy things.  
Alright... any problems just holler... _The dragon turned away and walked away, probably settling down to sleep... lazy thing... anyway.  
"...okay... so... there's eleven of us... that means... WHO WANTS XEALA!?" Pein asked, then quickly replied, "NOT ME!"  
"NOT ME!"  
"NOT ME!"   
"NOT ME!"  
"NOT ME!"  
"NOT ME!"  
"NOT ME!"  
"NOT ME!"  
Of course, Hidan and Itachi had been busy discussing something else at the moment.  
"Wait, What were we talking about?" Itachi asked, zoning back in on the group.   
"Nothing. Okay so... Tobi and Zetsu... take the food list..." Pein handed Zetsu Xeala's food list, and they walked off. "Unknown and myself will take the sowing things and whatnot list..." Pein said and handed the list to Unknown, who glared at it, "Um...Kakuzu and Kisame... you can take the clothes..." Pein handed them the clothes list, and Kakuzu half-fainted at the amount of things on it which would clearly mean loss of his money, "Deidara and Sasori, you two can buy the art list stuff," Pein said, and handed it to Sasori.  
"ALRIGHT ART STUFF, YEAH!" Deidara punched the air happily, and Sasori looked a little bit more pleased that he was buying something he would enjoy buying, and they walked away. "Hidan... and Itachi... since you two failed to join in our highly mature 'not me', you get to go with Xeala and buy the random list..." Pein said, and handed Hidan the random list, who shot a glare at Xeala, she merely smiled back.

"I demand to be killed," Itachi said, pointing to himself.  
"Itachi, that's the worst way to get out of shopping," Hidan said, walking ahead of him.  
"I'm hungry..." Xeala said, and began to drift towards a food stand, only to be dragged backwards by her collar.   
"You're not gonna eat if we don't, we're elders, and you will respect our authority, NO FOOD!" Hidan said, holding her collar and continuing to walk, therefore she wouldn't reach a food stand and get food while they were starving their asses off. Itachi smiled, someone finally triumphing over the twerp.  
"Xeala..."  
"Yes, Itachi?" Xeala asked in an irritated tone.  
"You lack... freedom of movement." Itachi and Hidan started cracking up, and Xeala was just about ready to rip both of their heads off. So, compromising, they bought her a water bottle. That's it. This is where the fun things happen.  
"Hey... hey Hidan..." Xeala said, opening the water bottle.

"Yes?" Hidan replied, turning around. And he was drenched with water instantly.  
"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" Xeala screamed, pointing at him. This time, it was Xeala and Itachi who cracked up. ...of course... Hidan has his temper... 'problems'   
"Xeala..." Itachi said, realizing this.  
"HAHAHAH... yea?HAHAHA!"

"Run."

"Why?" Xeala said, as Hidan's scythe landed where she had currently been laughing. Xeala's laughter stopped immediately, and she began sprinting out of the village, screaming at the top of her lungs, running away from black-scary-mode Hidan. And, now, it was only Itachi who enjoyed the cracking up.

"THAT'S NOT EVEN MY FUCKING RELIGION YOU STUPID LITTLE FUCK!!!!" Hidan screamed, running after Xeala now in the middle of the forest.

"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!" Xeala cried, her eyes tearing from the speed she was running at. This process continued until Hidan was flung backwards by a giant furry white and turqouise tail, then pounced on by a 300-ton dragon, of whom was very enraged. Hidan, literally, went pale.

"...I...I...I..."

"GRRRRR!" (or whatever dragons say)  
**Pooooooooor Hidan... this might not end too well for him... ::tsk tsk tsk:: **

BWAHA. REVIEW OR DIE. CHYA!


	35. no name for this one

**Beginning next chapter... now.  
**  
"Keh... see what happens when you do that Hidan?" Xeala asked, standing over Hidan's head and looking down at him, while he was crushed under the immense dragon.  
"GET THIS FUCKING RAT OFF ME YOU LITTLE FUCK DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS HURTS IT MUST WEIGHT A MILLION FUCKING POUNDS OHMYGOD GET IT FUCKING OFF!" Hidan screamed.   
"Well, You're close, he weighs 300tons, which is six hundred thousand pounds," Xeala replied smartly.  
"YOU STUPID FUCK I'M GONNA KILL YOU GRRRRRRRR!" Hidan said... still... trapped under the dragon.  
"Xeala. Get the dragon off of Hidan."   
"...yes... leader..." Xeala said, then walked over to the dragon and pushed him back a few feet, so Hidan sprang up and was about to slice off her head, then noticed the nose of the dragon was resting on his own head, and stepped back a few feet, Xeala petting the dragon's muzzle, "Thank you Pyralis..."

"Ok. Now Xeala, WE HAVE EVERYTHING ARE WE ABLE TO MOVE ON!?!" Pein yelled at her, and she nodded, taking all of the supplies. Poor Kakuzu was crying from loss of money.  
"Now what?" Sasori asked, looking quite bored, "Are we going to find a new place?"   
"Maybe... in..." Pein spun in a circle, then stopped pointing in some random direction, "that general area... onward!"   
And thus began the march for a new hq.

Which I have no ideas for, so, we'll skip right to the good part.

**Time: 8 months After Series Starts. Location: New Akatsuki HQ.  
**  
There was a point to having Xeala buy all that silk. I

IT'S HER NEW AKATSUKI KIMONO THAT I SO BEAUTIFULLY FASHIONED!  
See it on DeviantArt. Then come back here and continue reading.

"I'M MAKING ICE CREAM!" Xeala screamed as she shoved open the kitchen door.  
_Thud.   
_Without noticing the person she had hit with the door, Xeala bounced into the kitchen, then looked down as a scream of pain came from under her. Xeala had hit Kisame with the door, he fell over, and she had just put him out of comission for what could be a few weeks, seeing as she took that first bounce straight into that one tender part of the male body. Kisame squeaked, then rolled over. Xeala covered her mouth, then poked him with her foot to make sure she hadn't killed him.   
"IT HURTS!"  
"Well, That's a good sign..." Xeala said, backing out of the room, straight into Pein, who had heard the ice cream announcement.

"Xeala. What did you do."

"...well... judgin by... how hard I hit him... I decomissioned Kisame for a month and a half..." Xeala said, rubbing the back of her neck embarassedly.

"Great for you. I was just about to send him and Itachi on a mission. Get you get to be his replacement then..." Pein brushed past her as her jaw hit the floor. Itachi walked into the kitchen moments later. He looked from Xeala, to Kisame, to Pein, then turned around to leave. "WONDERFUL OF YOU TO JOIN US ITACHI! We were just discussing your newest mission!"

"Kisame's..." Itachi started.  
"Been replaced for the moment," Pein said, eating ice cream out of a large vat.

"...by..." Itachi glanced to Xeala, and his eyes bulged, "I refuse, I completely refuse, no way no how not ever, never, never, never!"

"It's already been decided, you and Xeala will go to Konoha to capture the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, Uzumaki Naruto. You have fifteen minutes to be out the door." Pein said, and pulled chocolate syrup out and poured it all over his ice cream vat. Itachi's jaw also hit the floor.

"WHY ME?" Itachi and Xeala said at the same time, pointing at each other.

"Because that's who I chose. Duh. Five seconds to be out the door," Pein said, holing up his hand, counting down from five.

"Bu-" Xeala started.

"Three. Two." Pein continued, and Xeala and Itachi ran out the door of the Akatsuki HQ so fast you wouldn't have been able to see them.

"That... was... close..." Xeala said, chest heaving up and down.

"I'm not talking to you," Itachi said, walking away from her.

"Fine, walk the whole way, see how long it takes you to get there," Xeala walked into a field of turquoise grass, that started moving upward as she sat down. As Pyralis yawned, (and Itachi got a horrible case of morning breath, might I add) Itachi rethought that last statement of his.

"Xeala..."

"Climb aboard," Xeala said, laying down in the forelock of the dragon's mane. Itachi eventually made it up to where Xeala was, attempting to stand up straight as Pyralis moved, resulting in him falling over. "There are horns positioned quite conveniently for you to hold on to, Itachi," Xeala said, pointing to Pyralis' horns.

"O..."

**THIS BEGINS MY ATTEMPT TO CATCH UP WITH THE SERIES! OMG NOT REALLY WORKING BUT OH WELL! CHYA! **


	36. Friendly is a relative term

**LALALALA!!!!   
**  
"Itachi...wake up..." Xeala nudged Itachi's side, him rolling over and swatting at her with his hand. "GODDAMNIT YA LAZY BASTARD WAKE THE HELL UP!" Xeala yelled, planting her foot in his kidney, liver, and whatever the other organs on that side of body are. Itachi moaned, then rolled back onto his back. "You're lazier than you're brother, ya tub of lard," Xeala said, before receiving a punch to the jaw, flying backwards. Raising her fist, she snapped back at Itachi, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YA BITCHTARD!"

"..."

"WILL YOU FUCKING ANSWER ME!?!?! YOU'RE TOO QUIET!!!"  
"...go away..." Itachi said, leaning against a tree. Then, almost startled, he look backwards at the tree. "Xeala where'd the dragon go?" Itachi asked bluntly.

"A- we're not walking into a village with a 300ton dragon, and B- he has some emotional problems to deal with right now, that being the affairs of his stomach."

"...makes sense..."

"NO FUCKING DUH!" Xeala said, chucking a rock at him. Itachi moved to the side boredly.

"How far are we from the village?"

"...when you went to sleep last night... we... were... um..." Xeala looked around, nervously, "...2 miles away from the hideout..."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!" Itachi blurted out. (OMG ITACHI AND EMOTION!!!)

"...Py walked slow..." Xeala said, then got up off the ground and dusted off her kimono, Itachi eying her angrily. "Well? Ya gonna get up or not? God I swear..." Xeala started off, walking away from him in the direction of Konoha. She looked to the side and saw Itachi had caught up. "Well, _somebody_ decided to come on their mission, Mr. Uchiha-angwey-pants," Xeala teased, crossing her arms over her bosom, continuing to walk, then looked to the side again, stopping in her tracks.

"What are you stopping for?" Itachi asked, perplexed as to why she had stopped.

"YOU'RE LIKE A FOOT TALLER THAN ME!!!!!" Xeala pointed angrily at him, then crossed her arms once more and stomped her foot into the dust.

"I'm twenty." Itachi replied, continuing to walk.

"..." Xeala started walking again, then hopped up to catch up with Itachi, "and... you know what else you are...hm?"

"Smarter than you, better than you, everything-er than you?"

" no," Xeala narrowed her gaze, "A VIRGIN!!!!" Xeala took off at light speed ahead of Itachi, who hadn't quite registered what she had said.

"A... virgin?" Itachi asked himself, then snapped out of his half-asleep state to realize what she had just said. "...little...bitch..." Itachi ripped off after the now dust-cloud Xeala.   
"Heeheeeheee...now we'll get to Konoha in no time..." Xeala giggled to herself, running as fast as she could to escape enraged-Uchiha-agwey-pants. A kunai hit a tree over her head, and she gulped, realizing Itachi was aiming to kill. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT DEAR GOD I DIDN'T KNOW YOU ACTUALLY WERE!!!" Xeala yelled over her shoulder, ducking to miss some needles and shuriken. She looked ahead and screamed as a windmill shuriken ripped through her stomach. She fell over clutching her stomach in pain.

"That...hurt... so much..." Xeala said, clutching the healing skin, and Itachi stopped before her.

"Behold the powers of little birdies that talk too much," Itachi said, then hopped off. Xeala staggered and stood up, picking up the windmill shuriken angrily and running after Itachi, pulling a string out of her kimono...cleavage...(::ehem::) and tied it around the hole in the shuriken, throwing it freighteningly fast towards Itachi, though it went around in front of him and hooked into a tree. Itachi disgarded the shuriken, and continued forward, only to be clotheslined in the neck by the thread Xeala had strung onto the shuriken, and Itachi hit the ground with a sickening _**slam**_. Xeala cackled and lurched from her tree. This was now officially the best day of Xeala's life. She looked forward, then dug her heels into the air, attempting to stop. An extremely angered Itachi was standing on the branch she had just seen as empty, and grabbed the sleeve of her kimono. She gulped, just as Itachi swung her head first into the tree's trunk, letting go in time for her to fly face first into another tree. Xeala clawed at the side of the tree, before finally biting her lip and sliding down to the ground. Pulling the twigs and wood out of her hair, she started walking, Itachi jumping down several yards ahead of her.

"I win," Itachi said quietly, looking back out of the corner of his eye. Xeala hissed at him and spat at his feet. Itachi simply kept walking.  
"You're annoying, Itachi." Xeala said, and walked past him with her nose in the air. Itachi stopped walking for a minute.

"I'm annoying?" Itachi asked, a little confused, "..._I'M _annoying?" Itachi walked up to Xeala and grabbed her shoulder, spinning her around. Xeala's face flew forward and her nose hit his collarbone, knocking her out. "...that worked out better than planned..." Itachi said, gripping Xeala's ankle and proceeding to drag her through the dirt and dust all the way to the Konoha gates.

**Short chapter, yea, i know.  
AT LEAST I UPDATED UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE.   
::cough cough:: queenofkh13...::coughcough::**

who said that...

REVIEW PLEASE!!


	37. Itachi is a real jerk

**CHAPTER TIME! FHWEEE!**

I fixed it now. n.n

"My…head…" Xeala opened her eyes, then screamed. There was a turkey vulture about a meter away from her, staring at her fiendishly. "ITACHI THERE'S A TURKEY VULTURE WHAT IS IT DOING!?!?!!?" Xeala screamed frantically.

"It believes your it's next meal." Itachi said flatly, and Xeala growled, then attempted to get up. "Your not moving until we get to Konoha," Itachi said, and Xeala realized that Itachi had tied her up while she was knocked out, "in other words," Itachi continued, "you lack freedom of movement."

"I hate you Itachi."

"Hate you as well." Itachi replied, and shook her leg uncomfortably. Xeala moaned in pain, then tried to get comfortable. But, ya know, it's hard to get comfortable when Itachi the man-slayer is dragging you through the dirt and a turkey vulture is following you.

"Itachi...that turkey vulture...it scares me... it looks evil..." Xeala said, starting to shiver.

"Get. Over. It."

"BUT IT'S SCARY!!!" Xeala screamed, loudly, and the turkey vulture flew away. "It's gone now."

"Well, we're there... get up." Itachi said, ripping whatever he tied her up with in and handing her one of those weird hats.

"I don't wanna wear the hat..." Xeala moaned... putting it on slowly.

"You've been here recently they'll recognize you faster than me, it's obvious," Itachi said, putting his hat on.

"Itachi..."

"...yes."

"What're we gonna do first?"

"Get. Tea." Itachi said smartly, and walked through the gates.

"...Itachi...they did-OH. Right." Xeala stopped talking and followed Itachi to the tea place. Itachi had already ordered the tea by the time she caught up though. Xeala sat down facing the outside world, and Itachi, being anti-social emo boy he is, sat facing the inside of the place. Xeala grabbed seven sugar packets and was about to rip them open before Itachi grabbed her wrist and sent a shock through her arm. Xeala sighed and put back five of the seven packets and put the remaining two in her tea.  
Xeala then stood up. "Itachi, I have to...err...take care of something..." Xeala then walked calmly into the Hyuuga section of Konoha, up to Neji's house, opened his window, and climbed in. Xeala pulled a kunai out of her kimono. "Neji...your hair...it must die," Xeala said, as Neji was sleeping. (lazy but!) Xeala then cut off Neji's hair all the way up to that of a prep. Xeala then left and walked back to the Tea place. Xeala sat down, just in time to see Kurenai and Asuma meeting Kakashi. They talked. Xeala didn't pay any attention. In the distance, a boy in black and bandages and knee guards came running up. Xeala tensed up.

"Sasuke..." Xeala whispered, and Itachi twitched, about to break his tea cup into pieces. Sasuke started talking to Kakashi. Ladida happy fun. Who cares. Itachi stood up and grabbed the back of Xeala's kimono, leaving quickly before Sasuke and Kakashi's conversation had finished. "What was THAT for? Hunh Itachi?" Xeala asked, punching Itachi in the arm. He punched her back, and Xeala took it as a time to be quiet. Itachi walks pretty fast, seeing as they were already walking along a riverside path. Xeala started walking with a slight skip. Itachi put his hand out in front of her and stopped walking. Xeala stopped just before walking into his arm. Two seconds later, Kurenai and Asuma appeared in front of them on the path. Xeala staggered back a half-step.

"You two aren't from around here, are you? What are you doing in this village?" Asuma said sternly.

"It's been a long time, Asuma, Kurenai." Itachi replied.

"That fact that you know our names must mean you're a shinobi formerly of this village." Asuma said, still being mean. Itachi lifted up the front of his hat and glared at them, and Xeala giggled.

"You..." Asuma started, as Itachi took off his hat, and started undoing his cloak, Xeala giggled again. "Heh... well whaddaya know. Itachi. Itachi Uchiha."

"Itachi, can I take off my hat, too?" Xeala asked, leaning forward curiously, and her hat fell off her head without warning. Kurenai and Asuma were now even more shocked than anyone could ever be.

"A..._genin!?!_" Kurenai stuttered, and Xeala stuck her tongue out at her.

"Only technically, and I still wish I had gotten to know you two better," Xeala corrected her.

"Why wait til later?" Asuma said, now angry, "...when I can wipe the floor with you both right now.

"God...Itachi... they don't like us do they?" Xeala asked, leaning and hitting her shoulder against him, "Why can't they just let us do our job?"

"Then life would be boring, wouldn't it?" Itachi replied to her.

"Tachi-kun, let's kill them!" Xeala replied happily, and Kurenai and Asuma were shocked to see a mere 12 year old Genin if she could kill one of them, who were Jounin. Xeala looked back at Kurenai and her eyes changed to sharingan. Kurenai gasped, then Asuma saw and gasped too.

"Really, Xeala? That is probably the only way were getting out of here anyway..." Itachi said, and Xeala smiled.

"Good. Oh, Itachi, Kurenai's gonna use genjuutsu and Asuma has bladey things hidden in his pouches." Xeala said, poking Itachi in the arm.

"Xeala... do you bring that infernal beast everywhere?" Itachi asked, as a small white dove flew over them and landed on her head.

"Yes, I do." Xeala said, and reached up to the dove. Instantly, the dove was gone, leaving a large black scimitar in it's place, and Xeala grasped the handle of the blade. "And he's quite useful." Xeala said, and picked the scimitar up and jamming it down towards Asuma's head, and, as Xeala already knew, he blocked with those weird hand blade things. "Thank you for the warning, Pyralis, these people are very predictable then. Xeala said, as her legs started to meld with the sand. She looked back as a tree sprung up behind Itachi, and he stood there carefree, as two branches twined around his torso. Kurenai appeared all genjuutsu-ey above him and moved to kill him, then Itachi was free and standing in the path in front of the tree and Kurenai was stuck to the tree. Xeala chimed happily, and the sand around her disappeared, and she spun ballet style onto the water. She looked back to see Itachi had stabbed Kurenai. Then the tree was gone. Kurenai ducked and blocked her face, Itachi kicked her hands, Kurenai flew over the water and screamed. As Kureani began to stand up, Itachi appeared behind her.

"You live up to your reputation, however..." Itachi started.

Kakashi appeared behind him, and Xeala cooed, pointing at him.

"However, this is the end of the line, for you anyway."

"Oooo burn Itachi!" Xeala said, sitting on the water not too far off, and the dove sitting in front of her, walking around on the water and looking for fishies to eat.

"Xeala?" Kakashi asked, startled, and Itachi looked over his shoulder at Kakashi.

"JESUS??!?" Xeala asked, stressing the point that it was obvious.

(i think that is my crown moment of the entire fanfiction...)

"Kakashi, what are you doing here?" Asuma asked from the bridge thing.

"I asked you to take care of these two earlier, but I got a little worried... It also seems I was mistaken in thinking this was a different Akatsuki member... It turns out to be one of the Genin I had in my team..." Kakashi said.

"Kakashi, it's you," Itachi said, turning around completely.

"Itachi... this isn't very fair... it's three against two and a quarter!" Xeala complained, getting up like this was exhausting. Kakashi appeared behind Itachi with a kunai to his neck. Xeala cooed again.

"Okay, talk. What's a rogue ninja like you doing in this village?" Kakashi asked, interrogation style.

"Kakashi...Hatake..."

"Tachi...can I do anything?" Xeala asked, having appeared in front of him. (jesus christ this girl doesn't realize she's practically on a battlefield)

"No. Xeala, if you're going to do anything... control your _pet._" Itachi said, motioning towards the bird.

"Ooooh." Xeala said, then looked around for the bird, jumping after him since he was playing a game of tag with her. "Come back here you little bird! Come back here this moment!" Xeala stammered, then grabbed the bird's tail and pulled him backwards. "Good birdy." Xeala said, and grasped him tightly in one hand, then pulling a kunai from her sash, she turned back to the battlefield.

"What are you even doing here?" Kakashi asked.

"We're looking for something and we knows it's here," Itachi replied.

"And what would that be?" Kakashi asked. Lots of Questions from him today. "What is this thing you're looking for?" Kakashi asked, raising a kunai.

"My way is more... efficient... than Xeala's...flighty thoughts and moves..." Itachi said, and his hand appeared in his sleeve.

Thus begins the fast typing.

Itachi had kunais in his hand, Kakashi jumped back and did a weird jutsu.

"You're good. You almost anticipated my moves." Itachi said. Another Itachi appeared behind Kakashi and stabbed him._ "Almost." _Then Kurenai said something. Kakashi grabbed Kurenai and jumped off the river. A water clone exploded.

"THIS IS REALLY EXCITING!" Xeala said, looking like she would explode with excitement. It started raining. Xeala moaned and fell backwards on the water. Kakashi told his people stuff and they looked alert and ready for action. Itachi started a speech. Xeala moaned again. "GET IT OVER WITH ITACHI!" Xeala yelled. Kurenai and Asuma closed their eyes, Kakashi closed his real eye. Itachi said something sharingan related. "ITACHI DON'T GIVE AWAY THE SECRETS!" Xeala yelled, shaking her fist at him. Too late. Itachi started his Mangekyou and Soukuyomi. Dumdidum. Kakashi yelled and started panting. Kakashi fell down. Xeala laughed. "Itachi-kun you're being silly. Just fini-oh...Itachi! STOP THAT YOUR IN TROUBLE I'M TELLING LEADER-SAMA!"

"This thing you've come for...is it Sasuke?" Kakashi asked.

"No. The legacy of the fourth hokage." Itachi replied, then motioned to Xeala. "Xeala... It seems Kakashi knows a bit... we're going to take him... but, please, kill the others." Xeala smiled again.

"Gladly, Tachi-kun," Xeala said, and started to do her phoenix fireball jutsu. As if. Gai, of course, (stupid idiot) appeared and stopped her from finishing, sending her flying back into Itachi. "Tachi..." Xeala said, and growled, "he kicked me..." Xeala pushed off of Itachi with a scary look on her face. Gai turned around and picked up Kakashi, who was drowning... (of course) Gai started talking, Xeala zoned out. When she zoned back in, Kurenai and Kakashi were gone, and Asuma's eyes were open. Gai started saying something about holding Itachi and Xeala off. Pyralis landed on Xeala's arm and snuggled against her bosom. Itachi reached forward and pulled Xeala back, holding her against his side with one arm.

"We're not going to fight them. Let's go." Itachi said, then turned, and started running. Xeala's head bounced up and down.

"Thiiiiss isnssn't whaaat IiIii planned ooon doooing..." Xeala said, not enjoying this escape route too much. Itachi growled and punched her in the jaw.

"Go. Back. To. Sleep." Itachi said, having knocked out Xeala. (hitting people in the jaw does that!)

WHEE!

**Shutup.**

**  
REVIEW!!! **

"**Xeala?!"**

"**JESUS!?!?!"**

XDDDD


	38. Spat

**Lalala...this is going smoothly...  
**  
"Are you awake?" Itachi poked Xeala in the forehead. Xeala twitched. "Xeala?"

"zzzZZzzz... few more minutes Sasuke it's not training time yet.." Xeala rolled onto her side and grabbed Itachi's arm, hugging it like a stuffed animal. And still sleeping. Itachi bit his lip.

"I...hate...kids..." Itachi growled through his teeth, then looked around. Sure, he found a cliff to sit on and try and wake her up. To what avail? A bird sitting on his head and his arm being... well... 'squished.' Plus, now the Jinchuuriki is traveling with the legendary Sannin, Jiraiya! "Xeala!" Itachi snapped, pushing her shoulder with the other arm.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Xeala jumped up, letting go of Itachi's hand, and then landed on the edge of the cliff. She started wobbling over the edge, then sliding down the side of the cliff. "TACHI HELP ME HELP!" She yelped, fingertips just holding onto the edge. Itachi watched, smirking. Xeala's fingers started slipping off... eventually the last one started to twitch. Itachi sighed, realizing he couldn't just let her fall off the cliff. Her last finger let go of the cliff, Xeala screamed, and then Itachi grabbed her wrist and yanked her up. "YOU PLANNED THAT!!" Xeala yelled at him, throwing a rock at him, which missed.

"Maybe you should **grow. up.**" Itachi spat the words out at her like venom, and Xeala quieted down. _...I have... acted a little... childish lately...he's right... _Xeala looked down, and drew little circles on the cliff with her finger. Itachi huffed and started walking. "Get up. We have a bit of a dilemma ahead of us. The Jinchuuriki is now traveling with the legendary Sannin, Jiraiya. In your terms... Xeala... we're teetering on the edge of fucked." Itachi said looking up at the sky like I-hate-you-god.

"Well that's always fun." Xeala said in a depressed tone, then got up and followed him with her head hung.

"Jesus christ, do you have a calm mood that isn't scary to look at? All you have for emotion is hyper, angry, and depressed." Itachi said, looking over his shoulder.

"Maybe you should be nicer, Itachi," a deep voice echoed. Itachi stopped walking, looking around to see where it came from. Xeala kept walking and paid it no mind, like she didn't hear it. Itachi shrugged it off and kept walking.  
"Hey... Itachi..." Xeala started, "how are you always so calm?"

"...I don't really know..."

"Well that's stupid." Xeala crossed her arms, still walking, and started to look around at where they were. "Where are we going exactly?"

"To get the Jinchuuriki. Wasn't that obvious?"

"So I blindly follow you to whatever corner of the world you think it's at?"

"Exactly." Itachi stated proudly.

"WELL THAT'S THE DUMBEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER HEARD!!!"

"And there she goes..." Itachi rolled his eyes as Xeala started her anger up.

"WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO EVEN FOLLOW YOU THIS IS TOTALLY UNFUCKING FAIR!!! I WANT TO DO SOMETHING BESIDES HAVE TO GO AROUND TO ALL THESE STUPID PLACES CATCHING JINCHUURIKI IT'S SOOOOO STUPID WHY WHY WHY!" Itachi turned around with an irritated look.

"You want something better to do?" He asked harshly, and Xeala quieted down realizing he meant Soukuyomi.

"...no..." Xeala looked down at her feet immediately.

"Thought so." Itachi turned and kept walking. Xeala looked up, about to speak, then looked back down.  
"We'll stop to eat somewhere... knowing you and your vicious appetite you would probably be ready to kill around now..." Itachi picked up a piece of his hair and examined it, "I need a shower..." he said under his breath, noticing the horrid condition his hair was in.

**GRRRRRRRROOOOWWWLLLL.   
**"Xeala...was that your dragon?" Itachi looked over his shoulder. Xeala shook her head no, then pointed to her stomach. Itachi sighed. "And that is why little kids are #1 on my shit list. They eat way too fucking much," Xeala remained quiet, "...Xeala?" still no reply, "you know you don't need to be _that_ quiet..." Itachi looked over his shoulder again, Xeala looking completely miserable, "...or... go ahead and be quiet..."

"**ACHOOOOO!"**

Itachi blinked, then turned around. Xeala had sneezed herself backwards into a tree, then looked up.

"Do you have the flu?" Itachi asked, staring at her bright red nose.

"...uh..no... no I don't..." Xeala looked down and covered her nose.

"You have the flu," Itachi stated, then sighed, "well this is going to take a while..."

"I don't have the...the... the... **ACHOO! **...flu..." Xeala said, then folded her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them.

"It's not illegal to be sick, you know."

"It's illegal to _**exist**_ in your book, Itachi." Xeala spat back at him.

"...that was uncalled for..."

"OH NO. That was completely called for. That was called for weeks and weeks ago, Itachi! You. Have. No. Manners!" Xeala bit her lip, then thrust herself quickly off the ground and began powerwalking down the cliff thing.

"...shit."

"You know what else, Itachi, you can find your own place to eat. Good. Bye." Xeala walked off with her nose high in the air.

"...damn shit. I don't think losing Xeala was part of this mission..."

**AHHHHHH. I MADE A CHAPTER IN MANGA FORM HURRAY!**

But I have no money.   
AND STILL HAVEN'T GONE TO A.C.MOORE.  
GAAAAAAH.  
Oh well.

**REVIEW PLEEEEAAAAAAAASE. **


	39. Goodbye

**Okay. Here goes the next chapter.**

CHABAM! : O

"I'm so bored," Xeala trudged through a dense forest, having gone in the complete opposite direction that Itachi thought she was going in. I wonder what Py's doing…  
_Pyralis! How are you!?  
…  
Pyralis? Py are you okay? _

…_  
Py, can you talk to me please? It's not like you're so old you've died, right? _

… _  
Pyralis please talk you're scaring me now…  
…  
PYRALIS! WHERE ARE YOU!? YOU CAN'T BE FAR CAN YOU? _ Xeala panicked, and took off in the direction of anything. Within hours, Xeala came upon Pyralis, laying at the foot of a tree, no longer in dragon form, back to dove form.

Without his bell on.

_PYRALIS!!!??!! WHAT!? WHO? WHAT'S WRONG!!?!?  
…_

_Pyralis!? _Xeala knelt down and scooped the dove up.

_Xeala…It's over… _

_No! No it's not! It's not! You're okay! You're okay! _  
A tear streamed down Xeala's cheek.

_Xeala…we both know it… I'm too old… Xeala…  
NO! NO IT'S NOT TRUE! You're as young as a foal! You're still young!  
Xeala… goodbye… _

"NO! NO NO IT'S NOT TRUE! YOU'RE OKAY YOU'RE OKAY PLEASE PLEEAASE!" Xeala screamed, clutching the dove, then looked down and put him on the ground, faking a smile, "See… you're okay! You're okay!" Xeala moved his wings and tears poured out of her eyes. "Pyralis! Please! Pyralis why! Why!?!" Xeala screamed into her hands, loud enough for anyone within 25 miles to hear. Xeala looked down at the bird, a puddle of tears forming in her hands, and picked him up, hugging him tightly. She looked up, into Itachi's emotionless eyes, and screamed, losing her balance and falling onto her bum. Itachi stared down at her, and she screamed back at him. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT ISN'T IT! YOU KILLED HIM! YOU DID IT! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED HIM!" Xeala shoved her face into the bird's feathers, and Itachi sighed, then bent over and reached for the bird. "DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM YOU SADIST! SADIST! **MURDERER!**"  
"Xeala…" Itachi put his hands on the bird, "things die."

"NOT PYRALIS! HE COULDN'T DIE! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! YOU KILLED HIM!!!"

"…"

"YOU DID I KNOW YOU DID! IT WAS YOU!"

"Xeala… give me the bird…"

"NO DON'T! DON'T TOUCH HIM! YOU DON'T EVEN TREAT HIM LIKE A LIVING CREATURE!"

"…Xeala… please calm down…" Itachi looked at the bird, whose eyes were still open and staring into space. He got up and brushed the hair out of his face, then did a simple seal and a hole appeared in the ground next to a tree.

"WHAT!? NO NO HE CAN'T BE BURIED! NO! NO IT'S NOT RIGHT IT ISN'T!"

Itachi turned around.   
"You want the alternative?"

"NO! NO! NO! Definitely not! Absolutely not!"

"Then give me the bird."

"NO! YOU'LL…YOU'LL HURT HIM!" Xeala brought the bird back up to her face and cried onto his feathers.

"Xeala… he's dead… give me the bird."

"…n-no! No! Never! You won't touch him!"

"…fine… then you bury him. You're screaming is going to have the ANBU on us in no time."  
Xeala's lip quivered, and she got up slowly, knees shaking. She slinked towards the small hole, then crumbled to her knees as more tears flowed from her eyes. She put the bird into the hole, then pet his feathers one last time. Itachi sighed, then pulled her away from the bird. She burst into tears again, but made no attempt to go towards the bird. Itachi made another simple seal, and dirt covered the bird. He picked up a rock and pulled out a kunai, then wrote Pyralis' name into it, placing it in the dirt.

"Are we good now?"

"…he's… dead…" Xeala's voice was lifeless, and she got up, then started walking slowly away from the grave. Itachi followed. _Okay… that's… a little… too emotionless for a human… _

"On to the mission," she said dully, and pointed forward, still walking. Itachi walked up to her side and glanced at her eyes, red from so much crying. She stared into space like a lifeless doll.

"…Xeala…are you okay…"

"I'm perfectly capable of finishing this mission, Uchiha Itachi."

"…okay." Itachi continued walking. _As long as she's not complaining and crying… I guess… it's okay, just slightly creepy. _Itachi looked back at Xeala's face, then looked away quickly. _…I take it back…very __**very**__ creepy.  
_ "Itachi, where are we going to find the Jinchuuriki." It was more of a statement than a question with her tone.  
"…In a hotel…"

"Do you know the location of the Jinchuuriki, Itachi?"

"Not exactly."

"Are we going in the correct direction of the Jinchuuriki, Itachi?"

"Yes…"

After enough walking… Itachi eventually told Xeala to stay put for three minutes. Xeala stared at a clock at this time.

"Okay…Xeala... it's time…"

Xeala followed Itachi with a dead look on her face. Itachi asked the person at the desk which room a blonde haired boy and old man were staying in, and they pointed. Itachi thanked them and motioned for Xeala to follow. She walked rigidly behind him. Itachi looked around, then knocked on a door. It opened. Xeala stood behind Itachi.

"It's hard to believe he's the Jinchuuriki." Xeala stated.

"How do you know about Nine-tails? And who are you guys!?"

"Naruto, why don't you come with us." Itachi said. "Why don't you step out of the room…?"

"Itachi…mere words can not restrain a human." Xeala said, standing behind him and facing the wall.

Itachi looked towards the hall they just came from.

"Long time no see… Sasuke."

"Uchiha Itachi… I will… …kill you! Just as you told me to…I've resented and hated you… and lived solely… **TO KILL YOU!!"**

"Chidori: 1000 birds?" Itachi asked, as Sasuke came pounding towards him with his arm all lightningy. When Sasuke was within three feet of Itachi, Xeala moved from behind him and grabbed Sasuke's wrist.

"Uchiha-san. Please do not interfere with the affairs of Akatsuki."

…OO??? Sasuke's face  
"Xeala… move away." Xeala glanced back to Itachi, then dropped Sasuke's arm. She looked at Naruto, who was forming a hand seal.

"Naruto… don't make this any harder." Xeala said, and landed a spinning hook kick in his face, and his head slammed into the wall.

Xeala looked back to Itachi, who was now at the end of the hall and beating Sasuke senseless. Xeala looked back to Naruto, and some white haired fat guy was standing next to him.

"Itachi-kun." Xeala said, and Itachi looked over his shoulder.

"…wait…aren't you…" Jiraiya looked quickly into the hotel room, where Naruto had a picture of the former team. He located Xeala, then looked back at Xeala.

"Uchiha Itachi… it would be someone as sick as you who would drag a Genin into this situation." Jiraiya disregarded Xeala, talking directly to Itachi. Xeala narrowed her eyes, then disappeared and reappeared next to Itachi. _…Genin can't move that fast… what's wrong here… _  
"Itachi… should I take care of this nuisance."

"No, Xeala, don't," Itachi replied, holding Sasuke against the wall.

"Itachi… this is a situation," Xeala said, putting her hand up, and staring at Itachi. Suddenly, the hotel around them disappeared, and turned into some sort of… organ. Itachi let go of Sasuke and grabbed Xeala's wrist, then took off sprinting down the hallway. Xeala, now flailing in the air, continued to talk. "Itachi…the walls are collapsing…"

"Shut up, I noticed that already," Itachi said, and his eyes whirred. The wall in front of him burst into black flames and he jumped out. Xeala still… flailing and flying… in the air…  
"Itachi I can't feel the ground."

"That's… because… you're basically flying…" Itachi said, still sprinting through this village thing.

** Why did I do it? WHY? I don't know… I really don't know…  
**

**POOR PYRALIS!! AHHH I HATE MYSELF AHHH BUT OH WELL!! **


	40. Gots a cold

**TT POOR PYRALIS!!**

It's okay… it's okay… (spent the night crying) 

**It's all okay…   
okay. Phew.  
Time for the next chapter.**

"Good morning." Xeala walked into the Akatsuki HQ and sat down on the nearest couch, staring at a blank wall, not focusing on anything else. Her hair had turned completely purple now.  
"XEALA YOU'RE BACK HURRAY!!" Deidara ran into the room and towards Xeala, until Itachi blocked him off, and said something under his breath. Deidara's eyes bulged, and he turned towards the kitchen, walking away.  
"**ACHOO!"** Xeala sneezed and went back to staring at the wall.  
Sasori looked over a book at her for a few minutes, and when she had not moved after that amount of time, attempted to poke her in the arm with his tail. (the scorpion tail thing…)

"Sasori-no-danna, it would be greatly appreciated if you did **not** touch me." Xeala said, not even looking at him, and Sasori withdrew his tail and bit his lip.

"What's wrong with you Miss Emo?" Sasori sassed her, and she turned only her head towards him.  
"Nothing." Sasori stared blankly at her inhuman eyes, then retreated into the safety of his book. Deidara, watching from a corner, gulped, and Itachi nudged him.

"I told you she got weird."

"Yea… look what happened to her, after only a little bird, yea?" Deidara said and looked around for something.

"What are you looking for?" Itachi asked.  
"I'm looking for her sketch book… she usually leaves it lying aro-there it is, yea!" Deidara reached for it, and Itachi grabbed his wrist.

"You think she wants you touching it when it has pictures of him in it?"

"…Shit, un," Deidara said, then slumped against the wall. Seconds later, Xeala walked past them and into the kitchen.

"Hello, Xeala… returned unsuccessful?" Pein asked, eating his ice cream. Xeala looked at him.

"The mission has been postponed to a more convenient time that will not mean certain death for all of Akatsuki. As for me, I require sustenance in order to thrive, which I will achieve by eating an apple." Xeala picked up an apple and walked out of the room. Another loud sneeze echoed through the headquarters. Pein shuddered, as Itachi and Deidara ran into the room.

"DID YOU SEE THAT!?" They both yelled, and Pein nodded.

"…very…very…weird." Pein said, staring at the door, and shuddered again. "Did Sasori make her into a puppet?" Itachi and Deidara shook their heads, and Deidara nudged Itachi.

"…she um… her… Pyralis… um…" Itachi looked down.

"OUT WITH IT BEFORE I KILL YOU!" Pein said, aiming his spoon.

"…her dragon-friend died of old age… on the way to find the Jinchuuriki…"

"That's not too big of a problem."

"Leader…she lost her mind... She was going to take on one the Legendary Sannins."

"…oh… then there is a problem…even though she probably could kill one of them if she was mad enough…" Leader stood up, looked down at his ice cream, then looked back up at the two of them. "Very well. Hm… since… Itachi… you're the most experienced with children, and Deidara, you're the… most… err… spirited… you two can sane-ify Xeala."

"…" They turned to lookd at each other with a did-he-seriously-just-say-that?  
"Glad you agree." Pein walked out of the room, ice cream and spoon in tow.

"…experienced with children? He can't mean Sasuke…" Itachi said to himself.   
"Spirited?" Deidara asked himself. They both looked at each other. "This is your fault." Deidara said, and walked out of the room.

"WHY IS EVERYTHING MY FAULT?" Itachi stomped his foot and chucked a knife towards the door. Then turned around to complain to himself like a sissy girl.

**OOOOkay. Yeap. That's the end.**

Of the story.

Forever. 

And ever.  
And ever.

Well. No. I lie.  
The end of part one.  
PART TWO! SOON TO COME! WHEEE!! Not a different story that's too complicated… hehe… 

PLEASE REVIEW!!! THANK YOU!!!

**I live off of your reviews. I print them out and eat them. That's how I live. **

Please, feed me.  
REVIEW!

**OH. And certain people…**

lol

**is NOT a review. It's not even a real word. PUT SOME EFFORT INTO YOUR REVIEWS PEOPLE!  
I work my heart and soul into this story, so please leave a helping review.  
PLEASE??!? I'M ONLY 14 DON'T TORTURE ME WITH NON-REAL WORDS LIKE LOL!!!**


	41. Part Two, WARNING!

**Part Two: SHIPPUUDEN.  
Do not read this if you have not read the Naruto Manga completely or haven't seen Naruto Shippuuden. If you do.   
Well.  
You'll hate me. FOREVER. AND EVER. So don't. Otherwise. READ READ READ READ READ!!!!!! PLUS. It's rated TEEN for a reason. Don't read this if you aren't ready to make fun of SEX and basically everything. Thank you, Thank you. **

Now please, if you would, continue onto doing what you see best at this moment. Thank you. ::nod:: Carry on, Carry on.

SASUKE SUCKS.

**Heehee…   
Kay you can stop reading this now. **


	42. Part Two: Chapter One: Another Beginning

**Part Two: SHIPPUUDEN.  
Do not read this if you have not read the Naruto Manga completely or haven't seen Naruto Shippuuden. If you do.   
Well.  
You'll hate me. FOREVER. AND EVER. So don't. Otherwise. READ READ READ READ READ!!!!!! PLUS. It's rated TEEN for a reason. Don't read this if you aren't ready to make fun of SEX and basically everything. Thank you, Thank you. **

****

"Hey…Xeala…wake up," Itachi nudged Xeala's shoulder. She ripped the blanket comforter tighter around herself and moaned, then fell back asleep. Itachi shivered. Sure, Pein hadn't ever gotten Xeala a room and she had to sleep in his bed… KIIINDA WEIRD… But yea… Xeala slept facing the wall no matter, whatever, Itachi dealt with it. _At least she doesn't kick in her sleep… like Sasuke did… _"Wake up or I'm sending you into Sasori or Hidan's room," Itachi stated, and Xeala screamed, then jumped onto the floor. _Plus there's always that to make me happy. _Itachi always enjoyed Xeala's screaming and falling out of the bed. He found it hilarious that she fell for the same thing every morning. But, who could blame her? Sleeping in Hidan's room isn't exactly as the thing you want to do… He could do some type of… rape… ritual… At least Xeala suspected that. And… well… Sasori… and the vibrating wooden dick of hell. Why, oh why did he replace it with that? Why? …Why had Xeala even gone into his room at that time… not remembering that reason right now… But it happened. And Xeala feared them. Xeala yawned, then crawled back onto the bed, still tangled in the blanket, and curled up, early morning stupidity having her mistake Itachi's knee as a pillow. _…She is SO stupid in the morning… _Itachi stared and pulled out a kunai. Xeala's eyes opened and she lifted her head up quickly, hitting Itachi in the chin quite hard with her thick skull. "Ow."

"Oh fuck off, dattebayo, I'm gonna punch you in the face with a spiked fist if ya keep it up." Surprisingly, her fear of Hidan, she adopted his cussing. The short temper was always there, as we know from the bashing.  
"Why don't you go ask Sasori how quickly he'd let you move into his room."

"…evil." Xeala scooched to her side of the bed and started unwrapping the tangled blanket. "Tachi I need help again."

"Oh boy." Itachi reached over and picked up one piece of the blanket, threw it over her head, and pulled another side of it. A little more unwrapping and Xeala was freed of the blanket's horrible grasp.

"That blanket always gets me," Xeala said, rubbing the side of her arm. Itachi eyed her, then pushed her off the bed. "Ouchie! What was that for?"

"Just because it's fun," Itachi said, then sat on the edge of his side of the bed and got up. After a few seconds, Itachi turned back around and started fishing through the blanket that had attacked Xeala so many times.

"Itachi… what are you looking for?"

"Your shirt."   
Xeala looked down at her shirtless front, thankfully she had a bra on, at least. Besides that, she was just wearing a pair of Akatsuki style pajama pants.

"That thing always gets eaten by that stupid ass blanket."

"Why don't you just wear two shirts to bed?" Itachi asked, pulling the black tank top out of the blanket and tossing it to her.

"Cuz YOU never remember to remind me," Xeala answered, and put her tank top on.

"…note to self… give Sasori the honor of taking care of Xeala." Itachi muttered as Xeala walked out of the room to make breakfast for Akatsuki as she always did.  
"DEIDARA! I'M MAKING BREAKFAST YOU WANNA HEELLLLP?" Itachi covered his ears as Xeala/Deidara began their day of all-too happy. Moments later, he heard Pein walking down the hallway screaming his usual rants of threatening to kill or maim Xeala in some way. Then there was Sasori's seductive voice.

"Xeala…you sure you don't want to move in to my room…"

"NO WAY! SASORI! YOU FREAK!" Itachi's eyes bulged as he heard the sound of frying pan against wood.

"Oh…" Sasori had semi-fallen in love with her art... and basically the whole package deal… and Xeala was creeped out by Sasori in almost every way.

"Blah, Deidara! Can't you talk some sense into him?"

"He doesn't listen to me, he's my superior, un. I'm supposed to listen to him, yea."

"Well I hate it!"

"IF YOU THREE DON'T STOP, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, GAME'S OVER! XEALA SASORI AND DEIDARA YOU ARE GOING TO THE SAND VILLAGE TO CAPTURE THE JINCHUURIKI OF SHUUKAKU. RIGHT AFTER I EAT BREAKFAST."

"NUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!" -Xeala

"Yes…" -Sasori

"HURRAY A MISSION WITH MY BUDZ, UN!!" -…Deidara. Xeala groaned and sat down on the ground, holding her head in her hands. She looked up suddenly. _Oh it's over bitches. _Xeala stood up and walked out of the kitchen without looking at anyone, and continued down the empty hallway until she came to the exit. She eyed it warily, then went back into Itachi's room to grab her stuff. Of course Itachi just finished his shower, standing there in a towel, screamed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"

"…"

"JESUS CHRIST!"

"…" Xeala knelt down at the edge of the bed and fished around for her backpack. She grabbed it and slung it over her shoulder, then walked down out of the room and down the hallway to the bathroom. A few minutes later, Xeala walked out of the bathroom in a semi-sports bra semi-tank-top type of black…well…thing… with white stripes down the side, red-and-black plaid shorts she rolled to be a bit…showy. Of course, she moved past the stage of sneakers and onto big black steel toe combat boots. Making sure the coast was clear, she walked down the hall to the exit."

"Bye. Losers."   
_SLAM. _  
"Did the door just close? Hey, Pein, go see who it is!" Tobi nudged Pein, who was annoyed as ever.  
"No, Tobi, why don't you go look," Pein said, biting his lip to keep from murdering/destroying Tobi on the spot.

"Fine! Tobi shall because Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi left the room, and everyone sighed. An aggravated and not-really-dressed, a.k.a. pajama pants, Itachi walked into the room and growled something under his breath. Moments later, Tobi came screaming and flailing into the room.  
"OMG.TOBI.WENT.TO.LOOK.FOR.THE.PERSON.BUT.NO.ONE.WAS.HERE.SO.TOBI.LOOKED.OUTSIDE.AND.XEALA.WAS.LEAVING.REALLY.REAALLY.REALLY.FAST.AND.LOOKED.PISSED.OFF." Tobi screamed in their faces, and Pein's coffee mug exploded. He glared at everyone in the kitchen.

"Fetch, you worthless dogs." Pein left the kitchen. The rest of them looked at each other and sighed. This was going to be a long. Long. Long. Day.

**they say all teenagers scare the living shit outta me!  
they could care less as long as so-…oh…  
you people are reading this aren't you…  
well…I wasn't singing…   
or was i?!?!?!  
LOL. WHEE I'M ON CRACK **

** not really**

**lol.**

review please. The story isn't over yet.  
yet.


	43. Part Two: Chapter Two: Where?

**Oo woot. Time for part two:chapter two  
fun fun fun fun  
wheeee anyway  
I dunno when I'll get more pictures up on deviantART…so… until then you'll have to deal with my crapass descriptions…  
cuz I'm estupido in my honors classes  
lololol**

**.o**

"Heh." A figure jumped out of a tree, landing on a dirty and worn path. Xeala looked around, making sure no one had seen through the diversion she sent off. One shadow clone in each direction just to piss the bitches at Akatsuki off. She, of course, got as far away as she could in ten minutes, ( prolly about three or five miles of something) Her eyes wandered as her feet followed at a calm walk. Xeala reached around and pulled her backpack forward, then fished through it for a piece of black silk. She pulled it out, shaking the dust out of it, and paused for but a minute to examine it. It was a black and white cocktail dress for anything formal Akatsuki planned, like ohmygod-party-time or when Pein had to take them to meetings with people who wanted other people dead for money. The white part of the dress being a sketchy rose on the bottom right side on the front. She slipped the dress over her current clothing and shook to get the wrinkles out. She reached back under the dress and pulled the shorts off her hips, then folded them and tucked them into her backpack. It was something new for her, walking around without constant stalkers or being surrounded by people everywhere. This was freedom. This. Was how she wanted to live. Of course, food and hygiene are always a problem. Xeala continued along the path and came upon a little tiny village with lots of shops and rustic hotels. _HUZZAH! _

**AKATSUKI PANIC!**  
"…That means I have to put on pants…" Itachi growled and walked out of the room. Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Tobi, and coffee mug all watched the door slam, then turned to face each other.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT COFFEE MUG DOING!! DIE SATANIC BEAST DIE!" Hidan smashed the cup against a wall and it shattered. The rest of them watched with panicked looks.

"…who took my wallet." Itachi walked back into the room in his boxers, holding up his pants and shaking them. Apparently, there was no wallet where the usually was.

"ITACHI OHMYGOD I'M BLIND!!" Deidara screamed and covered his eyes-err... eye and scope... He turned away, and Itachi threw his pants at Deidara.   
"Shut the hell up, You know damn straight I'm the sexiest of all Akatsuki."

Oh. Boy.  
"WHO SAYS YOU'RE THE SEXIEST? HM? HM? HM? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS THE SEXIEST ONE OF THE BEST ONE OF THE ONE WHO GETS TO SLEEP WITH XEALA?" Sasori yelled and pelted a fork at Itachi.

"…Xeala's frightened of you, Sasori, and very weirded out by you as well," Itachi said, flicking the fork to the ground.

"SHUT UP YOU DATTEBAYO!" (it means bastard! Hurray! I know what it means!)  
The door opened and Blue walked into the room. They all stared. (blue unnamed female member) Blue frowned, then clenched her fists. "WILL YOU FUCKING IDIOTS SHUT UP ALREADY WE ARE TRRRYYYYYING TO PLAY CHESS HERE THANK YOU VERY MUCH. AND PEIN SAYS YOU HAVE TO TAKE KAKUZU BECAUSE HE'S BUGGING HIM AND PEIN SAYS YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS ONCE YOU FIND KAKUZU TO LEAVE AND YOU HAVE SIX SECONDS TO FIND KAKUZU ONCE I'M DONE YELLING AT YOU!!!!" Blue finished, and they all stared in fright. "ONE…TWO…" All of them shot out of the room, Itachi hopping to try and put on his pants while moving.

**Nine seconds later.**

The now assembled…and fully-clothed… Akatsuki members flew out the exit like disrupted bees from their hives. Panting, they came to their senses.

"Okay, here's the plan," Itachi started, being the all-wise and all-knowing Itachi.

"WHY DO YOU GET TO MAKE THE PLAN!"

"…anyway…here's the plan… we find Xeala…" Itachi looked around. "Anyone have any idea which way she went?" Itachi looked from side to side.

"Not. A. Clue."

"Cool."

".. oh boy… okay… so… there's infinite numbers of places she might be, and like…five of us… or whatever…"

"I'LL LOOK FROM THE SKY!!"

"…You do that Deidara…" Deidara poofed up a birdy and jumped on it's back, then flew away. "Well, now that we're rid of one idiot… who wants to go next?" Sasori groaned and walked away, not being able to get his puppet to travel around in today. It basically sucked. Itachi looked at Kisame, who walked off as well. Itachi turned to look at Hidan and Kakuzu, but they were gone already. Itachi sat down and leaned against a tree. "I'll just wait for them to come back…" Itachi looked up at the exit/entrance and shuddered as Pein glared at him with his glarey glare of glareness. "Okay okay I'll go help…" Itachi got up and walked off into the forest too. "I still want to know where my wallet went…"

**WHEE BACK TO XEALA-NESS**

Xeala was sitting in a ramen shop noisily slurping ramen, a ( quite… 'full') wallet with a skull and crossbones on the front next to the bowl of ramen. Xeala finished her bowl of ramen, and picked up the wallet, flipping it over and scratching at the word embroidered on the back. _Why… WHY is it embroidered… fucking goddamn them all with their stupid ass shit and stupid gaytardness. They should all die if you ask me. DIE._

I bet Deidara and Sasori have gotten it on at least once. Xeala turned around to leave the ramen shop, shoving the wallet into her dress' bodice.

_  
…I bet they've all gotten it on with each other at least once… _She looked from side to side and walked across a few yards, then left the village perimeters.  
_…fucking gay-tards. _Xeala looked up at the sky, not a single damn cloud. Why no clouds? WHY?  
UGH.   
That meant no good shade on the path.  
_Stupid bastards prolly think I'm running through the forest at a billion miles per hour right about now. Losers. _

**BACK AT THE PLACE THE AKATSUKI PEOPLE WERE JUST AT.**

Hidan, Kisame, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Deidara were all sitting on the ground at the place they were just at. Tobi arrived back in a few minutes, looking defeated.   
"Shadow clone?"

"Tobi should have seen through the shadow clone… Tobi should have found the real Xeala!"

"Tobi. NO ONE DID."

"…you guys… we're missing Itachi."

"Oh boy." Sasori held his head in his hands and sighed heavily.  
"That's two missing members."

"I don't think Itachi's really missing, un, he's prolly just still looking… or went to find the real Xeala if he was lucky, yea."

"Stupid fucking bastard better get his fucking ass back here with some type of solid gold Xeala if he doesn't get the fucking real one or we're all gonna be fucking dead."

"Jesus Christ Hidan, calm down," Kisame said, and Hidan got up and held out his scythe towards Kisame.  
"DO NOT USE THE NAME OF THAT FAKE AND IDIOTIC HUMAN AROUND ME MORTAL!"  
"YOU WANNA BRING IT OLD MAN?"   
"…will you all…shut. Up." Everyone turned to the woods where Itachi was leaning against a tree, arms crossed, and glaring.

"…ok."

"so… you find a shadow clone?"  
"Nope."

"Then where's Xeala, yea?"

"I don't know." They all frowned.

"…well Itachi, you're helpful. You're supposed to be one of the most powerful people here…" Kisame said and rested his head on his hand.

"I know where she's going though." All the heads jumped up and turned to him with a simultaneous, "WHERE?!"

"To sleep. On the side of a path. And judging from the month it is, she went south." 

"Itachi, you've saved our asses." Kakuzu said and stretched a little.  
"I've slept in the same bed as the girl for two and a half years. Of course I would know where she's going."

"…Itachi… that came out really wrong…" Sasori said, and stood up.

"…damn it did…" Itachi said, and started walking in the direction he believed was south.

"Itachi…" Itachi turned around, and the rest of Akatsuki was on the other side of the clearing… "South is THIS way…"

"…testing you all…"

"sure you were, Itachi, sure you were."

**Okay since you people don't want to review anymore, I'm not updating until I get 5 reviews. Take it or leave it. BYE!**


	44. Part Two: Chapter Three: Muffled Screams

**YOU PLEADED AND BEGGED AND OMG I COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.**

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU REVIEW…

**I WRITE.  
A.MA.ZING.  
Reviewing, people, is not telling someone Omg so funny.  
Sure. Say OMG SO FUNNY.  
But when we expect a review, we writers want you to critique our work so we know how we can better improve upon the stories.  
There's ALWAYS room for improvement, and I do in fact read every single review.  
So please.  
Leave some critiquing, and this story will continue, and also, it shall become…  
DASUPADUPASTORY OF DOOooOOooOOOoM! **

**:O!!!******

Let's get to the damn story already.

_**Flashback: Eight months before Shippuuden series start. Without names. Those will be revealed later.**_

_"…did…we…" _

"…_yea…we did…" _

_"…oh…" _

"…_are you okay…"   
"yea…I'm…I'm fine…just fine…"  
"…you should sleep…"_

_"When… have I _ever_… done what… I should…?" _

_  
_**Back to the normal time period.**

"I'm…so tired…." Xeala stared at a tree, then walked towards it sleepily. Not the most hidden location, but, it would be fine for a quick catnap. Xeala put her hand on the tree, then walked around to the back of it, and examined the trunk for any frighteningly large bugs. After bug destruction verification, she looked around once more, then sat down on the ground, leaning carefully against the tree's large trunk. Drifting off to sleep was harder than usual. No one was around to talk to her. Not anyone at all. Not one single person. It was an insane peace. A resounding silence that would drive her eventually mad.  
A venomous heaven.

**Back to the wandering group of Akatsuki members**

"Itaaachi…. Do you know where you're going?"

"Yes."

"Then why'd you start going north?"

"TESTING MERELY TESTING."

"…sure…"

"I'll kill you."

"That I don't doubt… but Pein would be mad."

"…"

"You all suck ass." Hidan said, just because he wanted to talk.

"…there's a village… who wants to go ask if Xeala's been here?" Itachi asked the rest of them.

"TOBI WILL TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!"

"…ok…Tobi take this," Itachi handed Tobi a 4x5inch photo of Xeala, and Tobi skipped off.

"Deidara… how…"

"Don't ask me, un."

"…right… okay who thinks we should run ten miles and _then _start looking seeing as she probably wouldn't stop anywhere near here?" Itachi asked the group, and they nodded in agreement and mumbled to themselves.   
**TEN MILES OF RUNNING LATER.  
**" ::pant::pant::pant:: ITACHI…" Hidan screamed, clutched his chest, and panted, bending over to breathe, "THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDEA YOU EVER COULD HAVE FUCKING COME UP WITH YOU BASTARD!"

"Well, we should be close…ish… to wherever…she went…" Itachi looked around, then started walking. He stopped walking after a few steps, and turned around to see the rest of them with their arms crossed. "…fine…" The others walked in front of him, and he glared, making rude faces and obscene gestures at them, then followed.

"Deidara… can't you just go fly away and look for her?" Sasori asked from the middle of the procession, " It'd be so much easier…::sigh::"

"No, un."

"…loser-ass…"

"I SAID NO, UN! NOW GET OVER IT, YEA!?!!!"

Itachi, from the back of the group, sneered to himself, "Deidara's pms-ing…hehehe…"

"Hey…who's there?" They all looked up into the fairly large tree to the side of them, then smirked.  
"This was…too… easy…"  
Xeala was just standing there, supporting her weight on the tree and looking half asleep, head lowered towards the ground. She picked her head up, her eyes widened, and she suddenly sprang to life, jumping up into the tree she was leaning on. She looked back for but a moment, then took off through the forest. The look of agony plastered on every face of the Akatsuki members, at this moment, was priceless. Then, Deidara ran off screaming after her, "XEALA WHYYY!??!!! WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY!!" Sasori, of course, started power-walking towards the trees, then jumped up and disappeared into the forest. Hidan sighed, and pulled his scythe out of nowhere. Kakuzu, Itachi, and Kisame all stared at him blankly.  
"Hidan… out of all the times we've worked together… I never knew how you carry that thing around…"

"You do not want to know, Kakuzu, not at all…" Hidan said, then started out lazily walking towards the trees with scythe in hand.

"Well… this would be easier if SOMEONE with black tentacles of DEATH would go and restrain everyone's favorite little rebel," Kisame hinted at Kakuzu, who sighed.

"Kakuzu… please proceed…" Itachi said, and Kakuzu started off as well. Now it was just Itachi and Kisame standing there. "Kisame…"

"Yea, Itachi?"

"You're going to flood the forest, aren't you…"

"Abso-freaking-lutely."

"Great…now we just need to follow the blood curdling screams of terror…" Itachi hopped up into a tree and sat on the branch, leaned against the trunk, and crossed his arms. Classic representation of someone sleeping. Itachi closed his eyes and fell asleep, for what seemed to him barely a moment before the tree was knocked completely over.

"ITACHI WAKE UP YOU LAZY ASS WE HAD TO DO THIS ALL ON OUR FUCKING OWN DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF A FIGHT SHE PUTS UP?"

"Yes. I do… In fact, Hidan, I know _much_ more than you know about Xeala." Hidan backed off when Itachi started giving him the creepy-glare. "Hey… where is she?" Itachi looked to-and-fro between the group circled around him. All looked at Hidan, who sighed and walked across the little circle, dragging his scythe's rope thing with him. The scythe came into view, Xeala stabbed on the three blades like a stuck pig, minus the bleeding, death, and cursing, as one of Kakuzu's black tentacle…things… was being used as a gag to keep her quiet. Her and screaming Pie and…more pie… One isn't right without the other. Of course, being stuck to a three-bladed scythe didn't look too comfortable, one blade in Xeala's lowerback, the other in her mid-back through her stomach, and the top one between her shoulder blades, slightly piercing the front of her chest as well… Itachi pitied Xeala quite a bit right now. Then he thought about what Hidan said earlier, and realized that somebody really didn't want to come home… at all…  
Xeala glared at Itachi, then the rest of them, then glared at Itachi some more. It seemed Kakuzu's tentacle things come in very handy to prevent people from moving and throwing things, kunais and… even rocks, at you. Itachi stared for a minute, pitying her for the pain she must have been going through.

" ::insert muffled screaming::"

"What's she saying?" Itachi asked Hidan, who cleared his throat.

"This wasn't fair, I haven't showered in two days I haven't shaved that's the only reason you people caught me," Hidan said, mimicking Xeala. She growled, then spat more muffled words at them. Itachi stared, and Hidan laughed. "Isn't pain glorious, Xeala?" Hidan asked, and Xeala replied with a muffled scream, although she clearly meant NO. Itachi shrugged. Whatever works for the rest of them. Anyway, Xeala was going to get her ass handed to her on a white-gold platter when Pein got his hands on her.

"Pein's going to kill her…" Itachi said, then started walking away with the rest of the group. Hidan started after them.

"I'M NOT DRAGGING THIS THE WHOLE WAY YOU FUCKTARDS!" he shouted, and shook the rope at them. No one noticed because of course they were walking _away_ from him, not towards him.. "THIS IS NOOOOT FUCKING FAIR." Xeala said another muffled thing, and Hidan shouted back at her, "I DO NOT SWEAR TOO MUCH!" She nodded. He threw dirt at her. She glared at him like Hidan could you get any lower? "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

**Okay. Now. REVIEW. ALL OF YOU. REVIEW. **

**I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. **

**FREE YOUR MIND. **

FLAME ME IF YOU MUST. JUST SAY SOMETHING. 


	45. Part Two: Chapter Four: IDK

Okay, so, I learned some things.

My computer is fucked up. The spacing is totally screwed up so I'm gonna have to make sure I'm clear on who's talking. That should help a little. ALSO…  
I have been neglecting a certain ::coughcough::sasori:coughcough:: character… ::shifty eyes::  
I hate Sasori. Completely. It's amazing I even acknowledge his existence. BUT!  
FOR THE READERS!  
I WILL INVOLVE SASORI MORE!  
Applause is welcome… ::waits for applause::

::not even the crickets::

…go screw yourselves.  
:P

"…Sasori… your turn now…" Hidan handed the rope to Sasori, who immediately flipped out with joy and… love-ness… (Yes, I'm aware that's not a word… . . ) But, yea, he flipped out and Xeala's face was basically a mirror image of the painting **_Scream. _**

"I KNOW WHERE YOU ALL SLEEP! I CAN KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP! I CAN I CAN I CAN!"

Sasori turned to her, waving his finger, "Xeala, you'll be half-dead when Pein's through with you!" Xeala's face once more mirrored **_Scream._**

"NO YOU CAN'T LET HIM HURT ME! HE'LL DESTROOOOY ME!! ITACHI DON'T LET HIM!!! ITACHI!!! ITACHI?!?!? ITACHI LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Xeala screamed at Itachi, who was ignoring her completely. _HOW DARE HE IGNORE ME! _

"Did anyone hear something?" Itachi said from the front of the grop, looking around as if having a blonde-moment in order to avoid Xeala's tantrum.  
"Not. A. Thing." Hidan said, who was covering his ears with his hands and closing his eyes, he looked like he had a horrible migraine right about now.  
"Neither did I," Kisame said. Poor, poor, POOR Kisame. Hidan and Itachi shot him down with their sadistic glares.

"IF YOU PEOPLE DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME I'LL HURT YOU!" Xeala screamed, her voice starting to crack.

"Xeala," Sasori said sternly, having officially lost it, "If you don't shut up… Then… I will rape you. Right here. In front of all these people." Sasori's face said he was serious, though Xeala doubted it.

"Y-You… wouldn't dare!" Xeala spat back at him, and Sasori ripped the upper half of his cloak open. Xeala immediately shut her big fat mouth.

"Problem solved," Sasori said, and continued walking, and dragging along Hidan's scythe on the ground.

"You bastards are gonna polish that thing when we get back, it's probably stained with her filthy blood by now…" Hidan spat at Xeala, who glared at him and stuck her tongue out. "YOU RUDE LITTLE BITCH! IN THE NAME OF JASHIN, I SHALL KILL YOU!" Hidan was about to launch at Xeala, when Itachi poked him.

"There's a scythe through her back, stomach, and chest, of which has been there for at least 6 hours. Do you think she's gonna get any dead-er?"

Hidan stopped to think about this for a minute.

Deidara and Tobi walked up to the group of three.

"Whatcha doin?" Tobi asked childishly.

"Trying to figure out how I can kill Xeala with my bare hands," Hidan said, looking at his now-twitching hands.

"I thought you were just going to maul her…" Deidara said, with a questioning tone.

"I thought you were just going to maul her," Hidan mocked Deidara in a girly voice, "WHY DON'T I JUST MAUL YOU!?" Hidan launched at Deidara and they began a fistfight.

"Erm… how did we get to this topic?" Sasori asked, zoning back into the conversation.

"Shh…," Itachi said, "They might kill each other if we're lucky…"

Sasori smirked. One less annoyance to piss him off.

Sadly, Hidan and Deidara stopped fighting, and walked on different sides of the group until they reached Akatsuki HQ. Pein was standing in the entrance, arms crossed, and glaring. Sasori handed him the rope, then sprinted for his room like he had just seen death. The rest of them power-walked, then ran, past Pein. (Half of the time I type Pein's name, I type penis instead. IT'S JUST SO TEMPTING TO CALL HIM THAT?! WHO AGREES?!? ANYONE?

But he'd totally kick my ass off of my body… . especially after watching chapter 369… he sends a chill up my spine whenever I see him. I think it's the eyes.)

**Okay. I'm kinda done with this chapter now.  
Cuz I'm kinda tired. **

**And it's kinda ****2:30am**

**HAHA. MICROSOFT WORD HATES ME AND MY JAPANESE WORDS AND SLANG TERMS. HAHAHAHAHA. **

p.s. –SlightlyBroken- I don't know what's causing the paragraphs to smush up like you mentioned in the review, but I tried to fix it with this chapter. Tell me if it worked!


	46. Part Two: Five: TWO CHAPTERS ONE DAY!

**FIRST- this is actually taking place a few weeks before Shippuuden starts… **

**I SUCK AT TIMING GET OFF MY BACK.**

OKAY.  
This chapter will be…  
a little morbid…

and gruesome…

just a warning.

"FOR THE SAKE OF JASHIN! GIVE HER A BREAK PEIN!! SHE'S JUST A STUPID ASS TEENAGER!!!" Hidan pounded on Pein's door. As soon as the group returned home, Pein had dragged Xeala off of Hidan's scythe by her hair and straight into his room, where there had been only screaming for the past six hours.

"PEIN COME ON! PLEASE LET HER GO!!!" Sasori screamed at the door and tried to knock it down, to no avail. Another ear-piercing scream echoed, rattling the members' bones… or wooden bodies…  
"I'LL USE MANGEKYOU ON HER JUST PLEASE STOP PEIN!" Itachi slammed his shoulder into the door, and it merely shook with his weight. Kisame was sitting at the end of the hall with his head on his knees.

"This isn't right… I'd rather be turned into sushi then have to listen to the kid screaming like this…"

"…I think… all of my hearts… are dieing…" Kakuzu was sitting near Kisame, just staring at the door.

Deidara and Tobi were crying over a tub of ice cream in the kitchen, complaining how it wasn't fair and they never would have brought her back in the first place. Zetsu just wasn't there this month. Konan… well she's buying Chinese food for dinner and won't be back for another three hours.

The doorknob turned, followed by intense sobbing. The Akatsuki members scattered to their rooms, watching from either the crack in the door or the gap between the door and the floor. Pein, once more gripping Xeala's head by her hair, threw her against the wall with immense force, and the heavy damage from just that was apparent. The door slammed shut. As the Akatsuki members looked on, half of them were bit awestruck in confusion; blood _gushed_ from the top of Xeala's forehead. A non-healing cut in her neck was already bleeding far too quickly down her chest, and into a deep gorge across her stomach. Sasori's door slammed open and he ran out and scooped her up, then ran back into his room. Sasori is, of course, the most capable with medicines and poisons and stuff… and he has puppet-ness and it'll work out okay cuz he's Sasori. Another door opened, and Pein's sinister voice echoed into the hallway.

"Let this be an example for the rest of you worthless asses. Run away and face… me…"

Itachi slid against the wall towards Sasori's room, and just as he was about to go in, Sasori slammed him out of the way, then sprinted into Deidara's room. Itachi hit his head on the wall and murmured a few curses. A few moments later, sprinting-Sasori barreled into Kakuzu's room with a bag in his hand, then basically flew out of that room with Kakuzu in tow, not acknowledging the writhing Itachi on the floor. By the time Itachi stood up, Kakuzu walked out of the room shaking his head. Itachi, panicking mentally since he doesn't like to show too much emotion, power-sprint-walked into Sasori's room.

Of course Sasori, being Sasori, had finished, and was sitting next to a table with a book. On said table was unconscious Xeala… who had quite a few nasty stitches.

"Hey." Sasori said, and Itachi nodded, "Question," Sasori closed his book, "Why didn't she heal on her own?"

"…She never mentioned that…" Itachi said through a sigh, "I've only been able to cut her for two seconds at the most…"

"It's pretty weird…" Sasori turned and looked at Xeala, "Usually it's just her jumping back into action all pumped up… and happy…" Sasori turned back, "She might not come back out of this one…"

"It took a year to break the last depression…" Itachi said under his breath, and Sasori nodded again.

"Plus, me and Deidara aren't going to be here at all. We're leaving… in a few minutes." Sasori held up a sticky-note. Itachi eyed it, then held up a stick-note similar to it.

"Neither are me and Kisame, plus Hidan and Kakuzu," the faint sound of a slamming door echoed, "…are gone now."

"How are we going to do this then?" Sasori asked.

"I took care of her for two and a half years, you and Deidara can have some torture," Itachi walked out of the room, then turned towards Kisame's room.

"I'll tell her you send hundreds of hugs and kisses," Sasori said, then turned away and re-opened his book.  
Itachi walked down the hall towards Kisame, who was waiting by the door to leave. "No... there's no number for that…" Itachi murmured to himself as they walked out the door.

"Deidara…" Sasori leaned on the doorway as sobbing Deidara walked to his own room, "…she's fine… make one of your bird things so we can get out of here. Now. Oh…" Sasori turned around before going to get Xeala up, "Take A TON of clay this time…" Deidara shrugged, then walked into his room. "Come on kid… get up…" Sasori nudged Xeala, who screamed. He twitched, then resorted to picking her up and carrying her out of the Akatsuki hideout. Deidara was leaning against a bird thing. Sasori walked over to the disformed figure and lifted it's mouth open, then put Xeala inside.

"She's gonna bitch and moan if she doesn't have one of those goddamned fleece blankets, Sasori," Deidara said, climbing onto the thing's back. Sasori sighed.

"I still have to get in Hiroku, so stop whining," Sasori walked back in, then came out with a blanket in hand, and threw it at the bird's open mouth, and it landed on Xeala. "I hope you brought enough clay…" He said as he climbed into Hiroku, Deidara shrugged.

"Maybe."

"Maybe in your case is never a good thing, Deidara…" Sasori sighed, then disappeared into Hiroku.

"Never a good thing, Deidara," Deidara mocked Sasori, and Hiroku's head turned to glare at him.

"I'll kill you right here and now if you keep it up."

"SHUTTING UP." Deidara covered his head with a hat and made a motion of zipping his lips shut. "never…"

"SHUTUP!"

**WHEEEEE.   
Okay.  
Let's do some more work on those reviews, ey? HAPPY REVIEWS.  
OR HAPPY FLAMES.  
Don't make them depressing.**

**Make them like…  
OH THAT WAS GOOD BUT ALL OF THESE THINGS NEED FIXING. WHEE.  
And happy, see!  
FLAMES HAVE FEELINGS TOO!  
Itachi: No, they don't.  
SHUTUP.  
Itachi::hits over the head with a frying pan:: As I proceed to dumping the authoress' body in a lake somewhere, please review, or she'll come back and haunt me saying I scared the reviewers away… ::rolls eyes::**


	47. Part Two: OMG I HAFF DUN IT!

**Okay…   
So. My "best friend" hates me because of my last chapter and she thinks I made it to piss her off, and everyone in the world knows that's not true. Hey, best friend. I didn't even know you were still READING. SO. Deal with it.   
Kay. Now to the story.  
**Sasori jumped/tripped out of Hiroku, and clambered over to Deidara and the demented bird, and slapped Deidara in the head.

"OW, UN! WHAT WAS THAT FOR, un?!"

"I FIGURED OUT HOW TO ERASE A PERSON'S MEMORY!"

"…Sasori.. no offense… but I think you've finally jumped off the deep end, yea," Deidara said, rubbing his scalp.

"Oh, you ignorant bastard, I'm right and I know it." Sasori pulled a blue-purple vial out of his hand…wrist…thing… ( I don't know how to describe the puppet man's body… shoot me. .) and ripped the bird's mouth open. Sasori looked around in the dark before finally locating Xeala.

"…no….no…I don't want anymore chocolate… I'm full… nooouu…" a sleeping Xeala turned over on her side in the bird's mouth. Sasori pulled out a teeny tiny needle from somewhere amongst his puppetness and stuck half of it in the vial and the other half in Xeala's throat. As the vial emptied, Sasori took little notice of the tanned digits rising towards him. A moment later, Xeala ripped the heart out of his body and pushed off the lifeless puppet, the vial hit the ground. She dropped the heart on the floor, and was about to stomp on it when it jumped back into Sasori's body.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT!"

"YOU'RE IN ITACHI'S ROO-…why aren't we in Itachi's room?" Xeala scanned the inside of the bird's mouth, taking in the fact that it looked similar to the clay birds she'd been inside previously, besides the fact that those were for hiding from Konan.

"…um…" Sasori scavenged through his mind quickly, "You got assigned to go on a mission with the coolest group in Akatsuki and it was kinda around two in the morning so we decided not to wake you up," Sasori gulped as the lie registered in Xeala's gullable mind. She punched him in the face, and his head flew off. It reattached itself in a matter of seconds.

"Don't you ever touch me in my sleep again." Xeala walked over to a blanket on the floor and wrapped it around herself, then went back to sleep. Sasori sighed. _She's so feisty. Ugh. I hate when she does this. _Xeala had a horrible habit where she punched people in the face, and unfortunately for Sasori his head usually flew straight off his body. She had even punched Deidara a few times and cost him at least a dozen new scopes. Well, it had scared her the first time, because she thought that Deidara didn't have an eye under there, and she screamed and broke the eardrums on Sasori's self-puppet. That cost Sasori a little time to fix. There was one time, she punched Itachi, though Sasori didn't know what actually happened after that, it was in Itachi's room and involved moaning. Sparks flew up Sasori's spine as he pictured it, then walked out of the bird's mouth.

"…Sasori…look down…" Deidara pointed at Sasori's waist. Sasori looked down, then sat down on the ground immediately, and put a pillow on his lap. Deidara chuckled and picked up a bowl. During the time Sasori went to de-memorize Xeala, Deidara had:

-set up a fire  
-made a pot and bowl and spoon  
-caught a deer  
-skinned it and sorted the dark meat from the white  
-found some garlic, parsley, carrots, and onions  
-found fresh water

-carried the fresh water back

-put the water in a pot over the fire

-cut up the vegetables  
-cut up the meat

-put them in the water

-made soup.

Hence, Deidara moved forward to enlist in the destruction of the soup.

"Deidara… can I have some soup?"

"YOU CAN EAT?" Deidara dropped his bowl, which landed fine and splashed a little bit over the sides.

"…yess… can you THINK?"

"Yes I can think."

"PROVE IT."

"I'LL BE THE ONE TO GET THE JINCHUURIKI HOW ABOUT THAT!"

"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"

"I WILL AND I'LL GET HIM."

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!?!?!" Xeala screamed, looking out of the bird's head.

"…" Neither one replied.

"Oh and Sasori you might wanna do something about that." Xeala pointed to Sasori's lap before disappearing. Sasori cursed and fisted the ground.

"Hehehe… Sasori's got a cruuuuuush," Deidara giggled girly-ly.  
"I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH."

"Well your body thinks differently." Deidara slurped some soup as Sasori started off on a rant. Xeala appeared again.

"Sasori, you're never getting this." Xeala slapped her ass and went back in the bird's mouth.

"…GEE… SASORI…" Deidara dropped his bowl again.

"SHUTUPIKNOW." Sasori screamed at him, then kicked dirt at the blonde idiot.

"…Sasori likes Xeeeeala."

"Shutup."

"Sasori liiiiiikes Xeeeeaaala…"

"Shutup!"

"Sasoriii liiiikes XEEAALA."

"SHUTUP ALREADY!" Deidara silenced himself. After a silent ten minutes, Deidara dragged a couple sleeping bags out from under the bird and laid them out on different sides of the campfire. Sasori sighed, looking down one last time, then shuffled into his sleeping bag and took his cloak off inside it. He put the cloak on Hiroku's head, and turned on his side to sleep. Deidara stripped down to his boxers…reason number one that Sasori turned on his side… and Deidara took his scope off and put it next to the fire. Deidara made his way into his sleeping bag.

"Sasori likes Xeala," Deidara whispered under his breath. Sasori jumped up and threw a burning log at his head.  
"SHUTUP ALREADY!" Sasori went back into his sleeping bag as Deidara ran around screaming about the burning log in his hair. Sasori's attempt at quieting him seems to have failed.  
**It took a while…  
Kinda because I thought I put it up.  
Then I went a week without a single review  
And FREAKED out.  
yep.  
Kk.  
Review.**

**  
**


	48. Part Two: I'm getting so close to it

**IT'S TIME.  
for another chapter.  
cuz I say so.  
GET OVER IT BITCH.**

"YO SASORI. WAKE UP!" Xeala kicked Sasori repeatedly. Sadly, the wooden puppet freak man couldn't feel that because he can not feel things… so he remained sleeping. Xeala lifted Sasori off the ground, then shook him while screaming, "WAKE THE HELL UP!"

Sasori woke up. Then attempted to make facial contact with Xeala, which ended in Sasori being four hundred meters away and buried under several trees.

"Stupid asshole." Xeala hissed under her breath, and sat down near the fire where Deidara was currently laughing himself off his rocker. Xeala walked over and jabbed her knuckles across his face, and his scope flew off his face. Xeala sat down on a log and pulled a kunai out of it's side. Deidara and Sasori watched for a minute as she put one leg over the over and began examining it like it was a log itself.   
"…um… Xeala… what are you do-HOLY SHIT XEALA DON'T DO THAT!!"  
Xeala, being the psychotic freak of nature she is, decided that she can hide scrolls… in her legs. She had dug the kunai into her skin and held it open with her hand, then dug through her muscle tissue with an agonized, yet pleasured, look on her face. A few moments later she pulled out a paper rolled up to be little more than a needle. She let go of the skin and it molded itself back together slowly. Deidara cupped his hands over his mouth and ran off into the woods, the sound of cracking sticks were followed by multiple splashing noises.(Xeala must have some fucked up mind to hide scrolls in her legs, ey?) Xeala grabbed a side of Sasori's sleeping bag and wiped the blood and condensed tissue off of the paper sliver, then began to unroll it. Amazingly, it stretched about two feet long, even though it was only about six inches high. Sasori himself would throw up, if he hadn't already ripped his skin off his own body and made himself into a puppet, then he just might have thrown up. Might have… Anyway, Xeala looked over the scroll, like she had picked the wrong one out of her leg. ( HOW MANY DOES SHE HAVE IN THOSE KICKERS? Heehee… get it? Kickers?) After confirming it was the right scroll, she did a few seals and a towel with shampoo, conditioner, a razor, and one of her kimonos (with all undergarments tucked out of sight and neatly folded from the prying eyes of Sasori and co.) all folded up in a pile. Sasori dropped his jaw.

"What? A girl has to be prepared for things like this."

Sasori pointed at her, still gaping, looking between her and the stuff on the empty scroll.

"Kay bye I'm going to take a bath because I know there is water nearby, I can hear it." Xeala made that last expression just a tad too creepy for Sasori's liking, but walked away with the stuff in tow.   
Moments later, Deidara came back wiping his face on his sleeve, and picked up his scope off the ground.

"Where'd psycho go?"

"…baaath…" Sasori said, sitting down. Then jumped up realizing this was the perfect chance for him to do some closet-pervert investigation.

"Sasori… she'll kill you…"

"I DON'T CARE!!"

"Okay. : P"

"You're coming too, aren't you?"

"HELL YEAH." Deidara was already ahead of Sasori by the time he had turned around.

"Hey, Deidara," Sasori looked at the flopping ponytail in front of him.

"Yea?"

"Why is your ponytail so demented? I mean come on, it's so freaking high up and half of your hair isn't even in there!!"

"… what… did you say…"

"Your ponytail is demented and stupid and you should cut it off."

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD CUT OFF SOMETHING TOO!!" Deidara screamed at Sasori, who's hands immediately dropped down towards his waist in defensive mode. Sasori shrunk back into fear of losing the one piece of manhood he still had. ( hehee…. )

**Okay I'm ending it here for today becase I have to write an essay so make sure you review and a new chapter will be up soon!!**

REVIEW!!!   
(I know where you all live)

**  
**


	49. Part Two: HOLY JESUS I'M THERE

**Forgive me if these chapters become weird.**

…**  
**"… Dei… hey… look look!" Sasori pointed out towards a silhouette in the water. Deidara's eyes-er…eye… widened and he zoomed in with the scope. Sasori then grabbed the scope from him and started looking through it, while Deidara freaked out from the pain of having the thing ripped off his face.

"Ow…"

"Hey hey look look," Sasori nudged Deidara.

"Hey Sasori. Deidara. What're you doing." An eeevil voice said from behind the two. Both gulped and blinked heavily. The silhouette on the water disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Hi… Xeala." Deidara said, his hands in a defensive position.

"Hi Xeala," Sasori said quickly.  
Both started running very fast. Xeala giggled to herself.  
One – She just got a one-way ticket out of there.  
Two – There's no way Sasori or Deidara were about to turn around.  
"Now I'm going for _real_." Xeala took off in the opposite direction.  
**About three hours later  
**"Maybe… I'm going in the right direction… and I'll find Itachi… he'll take Sasori down once I tell him…" Xeala had been jumping, sprinting, and running for the last three hours.  
Then Xeala realized something.  
_Wow. I have no fucking idea where I am. This is am-azing.  
_The tree trunks ended, opening up upon a large ditch, with a cliff-like formation in the middle of it. Xeala hopped down from the treetops and sat against the side of the ditch, not caring that she was sitting in dirt with wet, untamed, unruly, matted, hair. She disregarded the small fact, and crossed her legs, keeping her hands between her knees for warmth, as it was already cold; wet hair doesn't help. After a few moments, she completely fell into a light but effective sleep.

* * *

"Why are you up so late, ------?"  
"Something is on top of my room making noise and moving around and quite frankly pissing me off. I'm going to take care of it."  
"Do it quickly then,------,"  
"Of course."

* * *

Xeala's eyes flashed open, and she jumped up faster than someone could blink.  
Something was coming.  
No.  
Not something. Not your average raccoon rustle-rustle make-you-paranoid noises.  
It was the sound that shoes make when you step, even if ever-so lightly that you yourself cannot hear it.  
Xeala heard it.

Xeala recognized it, detested it, and anticipated it. She curled her fists and stood at the ready.

Not a something.  
No.  
This is different.  
This... is

Some_**one.**_

****

****

****

_Thump, thump, thump_ went Xeala's heart.  
_Maybe… I found Itachi! Maybe I found him somehow!!_ Xeala's mind raced into the happy thought, then realized the figure was not tall enough to be Itachi. She bit her lip and released it, _life has never been that good to me, why would it all of the sudden start to work for me now?_  
"Come out, come out, wherever you are."  
Xeala shivered. _I know this voice. _He started walking. Closer still.

_Shit! He's not gonna back off! This isn't good! _

Xeala mentally counted the distance between the encroaching threat and herself.  
_50 meters… 45 meters… 40… 35… 30… 25… 20… 15… 10… _

Xeala opened her eyes. The shadow had the same form it always had. The same air of stupidity, superiority, and inferiority it always had. She growled loudly, fingers and nails clenched into her palm, blood starting to puddle up under her fingernails. She glared down at the figure.

"Hurry up and show yourself. I don't have time to hunt you down in the shadows, and I won't be able to see your face when you die."

Well that triggered Xeala's automatic-shittalk-command.  
"I'd like to see you fucking try bitch!" She yelled as she jumped up and bit her lip, preparing to take down whoever and whatever was threatening her.  
And damn would she be ready when they tried to come near her.  
****

DAMN THAT WAS CREEPY.  
Guess who the person is.  
Don't guess it in your review though.  
PM me if you want to guess.  
Maybe I'll send you a PM back.  
If I feel like it.  
THEN YOU WOULD PERSONALLY KNOW ME. ( not really )  
NOW PONDER IT AND REVIEW.  
THEN PM ME.  
:D  
or email me. :D  
_  
_

**  
**


	50. Part Two: I hate him

**Okay I'm home for some reason and I have internet so I guess I'll write some more for you people, hunh?  
**

**Lol.**

_Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. _

Xeala stepped forward. _**I'm killing you now. **_

Sharingan glared into Sharingan.  
Sinking her canines into her lower lip, Xeala licked the blood off, smiling wickedly. She stared hard at him, fists elevated and clenched tightly, the crimson blood running down her skin.  
"It's so not _nice_ to see you again, bastard." Xeala hissed through her clenched jaw. How she waited for this day, the day she would finally put him in his place. _I'll fucking show you who's better, your little fantasies of killing Itachi will end today. _

"…who are you?"

"Who do you think?!" Xeala stepped quickly and jabbed for his face, he evaded the punch. She opened her hand and grabbed his black hair, slamming her other fist into his neck."You've always been slower, stupider, and a complete idiot. You think you can kill Itachi when you can't even get away from me fast enough to dodge my first punch?" Xeala stretched over backwards, kicking up as her hands touched the ground. Something hit her boot, and she knew it wasn't a nose or face.  
"You missed."

Xeala looked up and grinned, shaking the dust off her hands. He had a blade of some type now. _Can't take me on your own? _. "A chidori blade, come now, you must be joking. You need a weapon? I can beat you without my hands," Xeala stepped up and wove under the sword's hilt, twisting her boot, she caught his hand in the laces and slammed it into the ground. _You went to Orochimaru, now I'm going to show you how weak you still are. Even Itachi would pity your suffering. Damn you, bastard, you're throwing your life away for nothing! You stupid idiot! _"You can't even move to hit me, idiot. How in the world do you suppose you'll beat Itachi? Come on, bring it! I'll show you how weak you still are, do you even remember who I am yet?" Xeala stood on the blade with one foot, balancing it above the ground by stepping on the hilt. He stared for a minute, face tensed in thought. She laughed and jumped off the sword, forcing it to fly back up toward his hand. He caught it, and his face changed to that of someone who had just had an epiphany, eyebrows arched, mouth slightly open like the authoress trying to understand her A+ in math class.

A fire roared, sticks crackling loudly as thee last of their energy burned away. Kisame turned to Itachi, who was sitting on a log looking through some pictures.  
"Itachi, I got a serious question," Kisame said, and Itachi looked up from his picture collection with a quizzical look on his face.

"How much stronger did Xeala get over the last couple of years?"   
"…do you want the truth?" Itachi said, looking a tad bit concerned.  
"No I want you to flat out li-OF COURSE I WANT THE TRUTH!!!"

"…nh… truthfully…"

"Yea?" Kisame leaned in as Itachi brought his pictures back up to his face.

"She can kick my ass in and out of the bed," Itachi said calmly, and Kisame fell over backwards.

-----  
"Xeala,"  
"Why yes, Sasuke! It took you long enough, now let's see, has Orochimaru fucked you brainless already? Do you even remember how to fight? I bet not!!"

"Well, there's one thing, I think everyone should just about know by now," Itachi said, looking both ways before continuing. Kisame jumped up off the ground.  
"What is it tell me!"

"She's too brain-dead to remember anything that happened more than 30 seconds ago, so if you blow a hole in the ground, she'll most likely jump into it without knowing."

"Itachi…"

"Yes Kisame?"

"How… do you let… someone so stupid BEAT YOU AT EVERY TURN?"

"SHUT UP I'LL KILL YOU!!"

---------------  
**Woot. Itachi's gonna murder Kisame!  
YEY SUSHI FOR MEE!  
no, no, I merely jest.  
I can't kill him off yet.  
sadly.**

-.- I wish I could.  
I should.  
lol idk

Xeala must have something against Sasuke.  
she's REALLY pissed off… it's so weiiird  
well, anyway

you know the deal.

REVIEW.  
or, ya know.  
Xeala will find you.

**:D**


	51. Part Two: SASUKE IS A CHEATER

**Let's start with the happier group today, kay?**

"Grr!" Itachi leapt off his log and tackled Kisame, then threw him into the nearby

lake. Kisame, soaked, frightened, and unhappy, dragged himself to the shore and laid there to dry. "Xeala was right, you are a fish stick," Itachi said, then sat back down to eat some type of substinance… maybe tea. Or fish… that would work too.  
"XEALA'S A WHORE!!" Kisame screamed in anger. Itachi stood up, and an almost visible aura of fire seemed to emanate from him. Kisame whimpered in fear, then jumped back into the lake and swam quickly away. Suddenly, the lake sploded.

** Now for a humorous moment. **

Stupid tour guide blonde: And here we have what was once lake blahdiblahdiblah…

Tourist: Was once?  
Stupid tour guide blonde: Yes. It's now known as St. Itachi's Crater.

Tourist: Who's Itachi?  
Stupid tour guide blonde: I have no clue.

**I thought it was funny… **

Kisame flopped around on the now-dry bed of ground like a fish out of water. (HAHAHA FISH OUTTA WATER HAHAHA)

Itachi sat back down to finish whatever substinance he had decided to eat.   
Meanwhile.  
Wait... where… oh there okay…  
OH! Xeala slammed a fist up into Sasuke's jaw, Sasuke grabbed her wrist and Xeala twisted her arm, a kunai appeared, and Xeala pushed her arm forward toward's Sasuke's face as he struggled to keep it away. (Sasuke; you been burned, stop drop and rollll!) Sasuke shoved her arm back at her with a burst of energy, then grabbed his katana, Xeala jumped and planted her feet on the blade. Sasuke looked up at the weapon of which he was holding vertically in the air, Xeala acting as a perpendicular bisector to it. She hissed and grabbed his face, then flung him over her head, slamming his body into a tree. Her hands moved towards his neck, and Sasuke made a quick seal. Xeala back-flipped up into the top of the tree, then planted her feet into his back.   
So far, all of this has taken roughly a little less than five seconds. Damn ninja fighting is hard to describe.  
Xeala jumped back down and started fighting Sasuke mano-a-mano, Sasuke, of course, still had his katana in one hand, but Xeala kept blocking or dodging it. (6 second marker) Xeala spun a kick at Sasuke's stomach, and Sasuke pulled his torso out of the way, then, with a fierce (ha. Fierce?!) blow, slammed his sword into the place where Xeala had been .015 seconds ago. Xeala laughed.  
"You'll have to do better than that, Sasuke!" Xeala grinned, and moved to jump away. But didn't. Panic hit her face, as she turned to look at the katana that had stuck itself down the back her kimono and left shoe. Xeala glared… then spat in Sasuke's face. One quick seal, and Sasuke had to jump back before Xeala unleashed one of the biggest fireballs ever. Sasuke watched for a half-second, then spun back to where Xeala was trying to get the katana out of her clothing. Sasuke jumped and caught her wrists, and Xeala hissed at him, ripping out of his grip, and a small cylinder of glass hit the dirt, and Xeala looked down. "What is that," she pushed it into view with her free foot, and stared at what must have been one of the world's smallest shots. Sasuke grabbed his katana out of her kimono and retreated back a few feet, waiting for a reaction. Xeala looked up, horrified and completely enraged, and locked eyes with Sasuke.  
"Drugs, Sasuke?"  
"No."  
"Then what did you,"—her right arm went limp—"Oh, wow, that makes me shit outta luck… I'll kill you quickly."

"Try!"  
"I HAVEN'T BEEN!" Xeala unleashed a tornado of anger on Sasuke's too-slow forearm blocks. Five times, she clipped his hair, one time she had managed to drive a kunai a millimeter through his thick head. Xeala took a few side steps to reposition herself, when her legs completely collapsed, and she fell to the ground. She growled, stuck sitting like a deer.

"Who's winning now, whore?"  
"Not you… cheater…" Xeala's cheek twitched as her left arm dropped, and her brow eyes fluttered several times… before she fell backwards into the dirt, her eyes leering into Sasuke's as he walked towards her with his katana pointing towards her heart. "…ch-cheater!" Xeala's head hit the ground, eyes closed, and there was silence.

"Exactly." 

**THAT WAS INTENSE!!!   
wOO!!  
sorry about the late updates I'm sorry I'm sorry I love writing it it took a while to figure out how I was gonna have this work**


	52. PartTwo: WORLDwouldSPLODEifIwasANYcooler

**Okay we're going to go from the most exciting chapter I could write to something not-quite-so-exciting.  
ORISIT?!?!??1**

alright we're now a few days before shippuuden begins. ::dancing to Tokyo nights::  
Sasuke slammed the 'door' open, placed Xeala on the floor, and yelled for Kabuto, who of course, came running.   
"Sasuke?! what is it? why did that take so lo—OHMYGOD WHAT IS THAT!" Kabuto froze at the sight of Sasuke's bloodied clothing, gasping, then looked down on the ground. A small-framed girl with obnoxiously purple hair lay motionless nearby Sasuke.  
"A person… who was slightly scarier than Orochimaru when she got mad…"  
Kabuto muttered something unintelligible under his breath, and walked over to Sasuke.

"…Is she dead?" Kabuto turned his head on a side to look for any trace of movement.

Nope.

"Sasuke, why did you bring a corpse in here?"

"She's not a corpse, I stole one of those muscle-paralysis shots you had and mixed it with a muscle relaxant. It worked pretty well."  
"…You really are incredible, Sasuke. You stole my stuff!"  
"Yes?"

"…fine… what are you gon-Sasuke… are you going to 'restore you—"Kabuto was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

"Kabuto close your mind off to things such as that for the next lifetime, please. Just make sure she doesn't run off." Sasuke said, turning sharply to return to his room.  
"Sasuke! Wait there's no way I would be able to make sure of that any normal person would have an immunity to anything I could administer if they were accomplished enough to do that to you!"  
"Kabuto, the girl in front of you is completely vulnerable to anything…" Sasuke dropped his voice to a whisper, "…especially stupidity…"  
"…o…kay…" Kabuto looked around. Something was not right here, Sasuke was covered in blood, his own blood, and this girl had barely a scratch on her, that is after looking past her destroyed clothes. Kabuto shot his attention back to her clothes. "Akatsuki clouds?! They don't have any new members! Especially not a little teenage girl… come to think of it, they haven't had any teenage members since—" He panicked slightly, looking for any sign that this could be one of the 'known' Akatsuki members in disguise.  
MEDICAL NINJA EXPERTISE TIME!!!  
_Okay… let's see if Sasuke completely fucked up on medical skills or not… _Kabuto checked the pulse in the girl's neck and wrists, then went to check her eyes.  
And

FREAKED   
OUT  
"WHAT THE HELL!!?!?!?!!"  
Sasuke walked back down towards him, then stopped and raised a hand in the I'm-going-to-make-an-important-statement style.  
"She also has the genetic make-up of every bloodline that ever existed. Have fun…"

"Sasuke you're crazy this is going to be impossible!"  
Sasuke walked up to Kabuto, menacingly standing over him.  
"What I said before was an _order_." Sasuke turned again and disappeared into the darkness.  
"Asshole." Kabuto picked up the girl and started walking towards okay-you-caught-me-I-don't-know-where-his-medical-place-is.   
**WHEEEEEEE This is fun.  
Review review review!! If you're one of the few who stayed with this story.  
****nn  
yey!!**


	53. Part Two: Wondering

Okay I have no clue who I am anymore. But I can't fuck this story over until I actually end it, so… let's try.

if you've been reading, then you know where we are.  
if you skipped all the way to this chapter… well…  
hah. Haha. Hahahaha.

"…are you awake?" Kabuto poked at Xeala's cold face, having done this over a thousand times in the last hour. _What right does Sasuke have to haul this kid in here… I would like a few more friends every now and then that Orochimaru didn't feed to that giant snake buddy of his… _  
"…hh…" Xeala's mouth opened and little, and Kabuto got so excited having seen something different that he jumped out of his chair, the chair screeeeeching across the floor. To his dismay, she seemed to have only yawned in her sleep. Kabuto fell back into the chair and started twirling a pencil around, gazing up at the overhead monitors with their bleeping screens every so often.

"Orochimaru-sama, there's something I have to tell you." Sasuke walked into Orochimaru's main…room… chamber… thing… without acknowledgement.  
Heaven knows what variety of things he may have been doing, but he looked up,"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"…I brought a friend home to play with." Sasuke said.  
"… a _friend_, Sasuke? Have you gotten your head into the world of geishas already?" Orochimaru asked, not comprehending why Sasuke would have any need for a geisha… or an actual friend, for that matter. _Why is he acting so odd… Oh no… NO MY SASUKE'S GROWING UP!! MY MID-LIFE CRISIS IS GOING TO BE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM THIS OH DEAR OH DEAR WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO!!??_

(Okay… he might not have been thinking that… but maybe in the back of his mind that little teeny tiiiny essence of humanity he has left has a teeny tiiiny part of it reserved for paternal thinking, and that teeny tiiiny paternal part of him is thinking that.  
Yea.  
That's what it is.)

"No. I don't have any need for a _whore._ I mean I brought home a friend to play with. It's kind of lonely after a few years when I only see the same people over and over again."  
"Oh…kay… then…" _Freeak… OH NO MY SASUKE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!  
_

_  
(_I know what you're thinking.  
You're thinking, "RIXXAN IS A GENIUS!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!"

If you're not… then I say you should have stopped reading around chapter .0001)

"Gh…" Kabuto had fallen asleep on the metal desk, drooling on the many scattered and dishoveled papers. (You know you want to see that happen just to laugh at it.)  
"Ih…"

"OHMYGOSH SHE SAID SOMETHING!" Kabuto was at the bedside like an overexcited dog in not even a second.

"Ih…tah…chi…"

"…oh no." Kabuto blocked the image from his mind. _She's from Akatsuki and just said Itachi in her sleep. Ho-boy. Sasuke is not going to be happy about this. First of all she's got sharingan. Second of all she's adorable and beautiful. Third she's super-powerful… and has those large… No! Kabuto, it's been too long since seeing people, but that gives you no right to become a closet pervert! Even if temptation is sitting on a bed completely out cold and vulner-KABUTO I AM TELLING YOU TO STOP THINKING THESE THINGS. Besides… it's…uh… obvious! Sasuke must find some sort of fancy in this girl… why else would he keep her alive… yeah that's completely the reason. Completely! No.Touchie.The.Girl. _

What's her name? Good grief, I don't even know the patient's name. I feel unprofessional.

"Kabu—  
"HOLY CRAP!" Kabuto spun halfway off his chair as Sasuke walked into the medical room.  
"—to… alright… what the hell just happened?'  
"It's a surprise to see someone a little more alive than this," Kabuto cocked his head to the side and closed his eyes, mimicking the girl on the bed, "…hh…" and closed his mouth.  
"She didn't wake up yet?" Sasuke asked, concerned.   
"No she di-why do you even care?"

"…it's… just…" Sasuke stammered, trying to mentally put emotion to reason.  
"…Sasuke…" Kabuto started, and Sasuke shot him a cold glare.  
"How much knock-out medicine have you been pumping into her, Kabuto!? She should have woken up hours and hours ago!"   
"…this much." Kabuto held up his hand, exaggerating the small length between his thumb and middle finger.  
"…she's still out cold…" Sasuke slowly stepped over toward her torso, and even closer to her, brushing his fingers through her hair slowly.   
"Sasuke… you realize she's been in Akatsuki… and with—  
"Shutup! He took her! He took her right before chuunin exams!"  
"Yo-you know her previously?"  
"Yes, of course! Xeala was in my team! She was always the smartest, she beat me out a hundred fold! I couldn't keep up with her, and then she disappeared the day we registered for the chuunin exams! I knew it was that bastard! Only he, only him, he was the only one who could have beared to see me suffer after all he's done to me! He killed everyone in the clan! He slaughtered them all! Then he took my love away! What cruel person could ever do that to someone?"  
"…Sasuke you just spoke the word love, which pertains to human emotion."   
"I loved her… I didn't know it but I did."  
"OHKAY THEN," Kabuto spun around and grabbed a small microphone, "Orochimaru we have a slight emotional conflict with Sasuke's hormones in the medical exam rooms," Kabuto whispered quietly, then returned his attention to Sasuke's pining over the girl. Then it hit him.

Way way back two and a half years ago, the mysterious disappearance of Xeala from Team 7 had puzzled the entire village. Search parties everywhere, investigations going on day and night, Naruto throwing fits every few minutes, Shikamaru Nara was a little lazier than usual, Kiba Inuzuka seemed like a lost dog whose owner was shot through the face on a walk, Sakura Haruno wasn't a happy bubble of cherry blossoms, Sasuke wouldn't talk to anyone. Only that one Ino… whatever her name was seemed normal. And Kakashi said it was Akatsuki, their first activity for a long time. When Sasuke left Konoha, it had only affected Naruto even more until he starved for his lost friends with the hunger of a neglected lion.  
"Ho-ly shit, Sasuke. You are gonna be in so much trouble when Orochimaru finds out who this is." Kabuto said, shaking his head back and forth.  
"Shut your face, Kabuto, you don't get it." Sasuke said, now seated on a spinny-stool next to the bed, brushing his hand across Xeala's face every so often, combing his fingers through her hair. A few seconds later, (the disgusting and hideous monster that is) Orochimaru stood in the doorframe.  
"What seems to be the proble—  
"He used the word "love," in a speech about me not getting it," Kabuto said flatly, back turned as he toyed with a pencil on the desk.

"…Well, Sasuke, what's going on here? Who is tha—Sasuke, look at me when I'm speaking."

Sasuke turned his head to Orochimaru. "Xeala. Konoha.Team 7. Kidnapped by Akatsuki, night of chuunin exam entries."

_So this is the one._ "That's quite interesting, tell me, Sasuke, what do you plan on doing now that you've incarcerated this young lady?"

"I don't know."

"That's a definite plan…" Kabuto spat under his breath, and Sasuke shot laserbeams at him with his eyes. Orochimaru walked out of the room, not caring now, and completely misinterpreting Sasuke's display of emotion as one that would be easily shattered.

"Well, Sasuke, I'm going to sleep." Kabuto shot out of his chair and powered across the room like a locomotive, then left Sasuke alone with a half-dead teenage girl. 

**Oh damn.  
Sasuke's in l-o-v-e luv.**

haha woo. Alrighty. I have a new plot to break away with, and it will be amazing!


	54. Part Two: Hiya

I feel like there's some strange force making me deliver Xeala into Sasuke's arms, and it'sscary. WHAT WILL HE SAY WHEN HE FINDS OUT SHE'S WITH ITACHI!?!  
:O!!!

Sasuke sat there, in the dark, slowly tracing his fingers along Xeala's collarbone, up her neck. He paused momentarily at her face, hesitantly moving towards her pale, full, pink lips.

And then Sasuke was at a cabinet, looking for anything that would wake her up, anything at all. But, he also had to find something that would stop her from getting up and running out of here.  
...maybe kabuto could paralyze her legs for a little bit. _Even an hour would be enou-Stop thinking that, Sasuke! _Sasuke shook his head. She had tried to kill him, she swore it wit ha an intense heat the made hell look like a winter wonderland, but Sasuke couldn't help but feel something new, a feeling so new to him he couldn't describe it. (luckily, as the authoress, i know it!) He felt... aroused.

"Kabuto! Get me eight-no!-ten bottles of sake! NOW!" Sasuke screamed at Kabuto, who was sleeping outside in the hall. Kabuto, eventually, woke up, got up, and walked down the hall after making an innumerable amount of immature faces at Sasuke. By the time Kabuto came back, Sasuke was rushing around the room, poking at tubes and needles and shots. Kabuto almost dropped all the bottles in shock.  
"What are you doing! My stuff, mine, get away!!" Kabuto whisper-yelled at him, and Sasuke shot a glare.  
"Get an I.V. in her arm and pump all the sake you can into her blood." Sasuke said, the words coming out of his mouth so naturally and seriously that Kabuto looked up at the ceiling to try and concentrate on what Sasuke was saying.  
"...ye-... no... yes... wait... Oh... wait... you want me to get an unconcious fourteen-year old drunk so you can fulfill your fantasies?"  
"Well I want you to wake her up once her blood is 20 percent alchohol, of course." Sasuke said, holding up Xeala's arm and looking around for some sort of little tube to put the needle in, then looked up, "...where do I put the needle thing in?" Sasuke asked, lifting Xeala's arm straight up.  
"You are so incompetent give me that!" Kabuto said, stomping over to Sasuke and holding his hand out. Sasuke put Xeala's wrist in Kabuto's hand. Kabuto looked up at the ceiling and muttered a few unintelligible words, "Sasuke, give... me... the... needle..."  
"...oh." Sasuke handed Kabuto the needle, and he sighed, rolling his eyes as he jabbed the metal stick into Xeala's arm, vein, and bloodstream.  
"Thanks to you, Sasuke, I've become responsible for one case of teenage pregnancy." Kabuto said, pulling a tube out of nowhere and attaching it to the needle and a bag on a metal stick.  
"What's with the bag?"  
"Damnit, Sasuke, don't you know anything about medicine? Weren't you in the hospital for a while yourself?!"  
"I don't remember that, it was before I had died. I'm like Jesus now, yet I remember barely anything."  
"This," Kabuto pointed at the bag on the stick, "is where liquids, drugs, and... alchohol... go... damnit this is completely against everything I worked for." Kabuto looked up with a horribly shocked expression, "I'M NOT DELIVERING A BABY!"  
"...damnit I was gonna get you drunk too and have you promise to do tha-" Something stopped their fight, a shifting in wax paper.  
"Really now, a baby? I wonder who's pregnant," a wickedly soft and liquid voice flowed past the two at their position next to the I.V. bag. Both turned around, and Xeala had already appeared, feet on the wall, in between the two, horizontal. "...because I'm spoken for, I'm sure Kabuto already knew that from the medical exam," The torturous girl walked up the wall, and turned at eye level to face Sasuke. "By the wonderful, sexy, superior, and all-together better than you in every way... Uchiha Itachi," the words hit Sasuke like arsenic, anger flustering in his face and turning him a shade of bright pink. "Oh didn't you know, Sasuke? Itachi and I, we're inseperable, except of course by Nagato," Xeala had walked up to the ceiling and was staring at it. She disappeared, and both Sasuke and Kabuto looked towards the door where she had somehow gotten to before their eyes or minds. "But Orochimaru probably hasn't told you about him, has he?"  
Xeala started walking down the hallway.  
"Wait... so... you didn't come here to beat the shit out of Sasuke?" Kabuto asked, pleadingly. Xeala shook her head.  
"Rapists, if you haven't noticed, I am the most good-looking of all Akatsuki, and Kabuto," Xeala was somehow facing him, and leaned forward, "Sasori says hello." She laughed, and jumped back a step out of his reach before he could punch her or anything. "Of course it was Sasori that tried to rape me on numerous occasions, Kabuto, and I had expected that anyone he was once in with would have had some more," she looked Kabuto up and down in disgust, "...well, more!" She laughed again and turned to Sasuke.  
"Though Sasuke, I'm very surprised to see you having grown so far. Why, it seems only yesterday you planted your lips on mine every chance you could!" Kabuto's face turned into a gaping hole.  
"Kabuto he didn't tell you how deeply, irrevocably, horribly in love he was? Oh dear oh dear! I trained this little puppy-dog day-in and day-out! He couldn't have gotten anywhere! I graduated top of the class in a matter of days... Days! I sent Zabuza of the seven shitheads to his knees in half a second!"  
"Dear me, she's a scary one, hunh Sasuke-kun?"  
Xeala looked to her shoulder as arms wrapped around her into the tightest body-lock ever.  
"Great. Three on one, is that anywhere near fair?" Xeala bit Orochimaru's arm, and broke his lock on her. Like a racehorse out the gate, she was running... and laughing, down the hall. She looked over her shoulder, smiled wide and bright, and looked back forward. "HOLYSHIT," she screamed as she skidded to a stop over a pitfall, then jumped backwards a few feet and handstand back-flew over the gap.  
"Ohmygod this place is wacked out!" Xeala took off again, looking around the hall to find another passage. A turn came up in sight, and she spun down the hallway. "GIANT SNAKE HELL NO!" Xeala spun around again, seeing the giant boa blocking her path, only to see Orochimaru, Sasuke, and Kabuto standing there. "...ah..." She looked from side to side, and jumped on the ceiling and started running, again. "TRY AND CATCH ME NOW DOUCHEBAGS!"  
Orochimaru stared for a minute after the girl, intrigued. "Sasuke, no wonder you crave that little imp so much. She doesn't stop!" They all took off again.  
Xeala had started slowing down, now jogging backwards and making faces at them. She reached around herself and ripped the middle scarf of her kimono off, chucking it onto the ground below, then ripped her entire kimono off. The three men stopped for a minute, half-expecting to see a naked teen, the other half of them expecting to see some large beast rise out of her body. Nope! Xeala smiled, in a small black tube top and a short white jean miniskirt. She jumped up and down for a moment, then ran off down the hall again, howling with laughter. Kabuto picked up the kimono, and threw it at Sasuke.  
"She smells like roses, you lucky asshole."  
Sasuke sniffed the kimono.

**I'm pleased with myself, my writing is becoming so much like Hawthorne's though... i'm scared! I AM NO PESSIMIST!  
Itachi: yes you are.  
Shut up go screw Xeala. ::hmph::  
Itachi: YOU TOOK HER AWAY!  
...oh right. um... go away.  
Itachi::shrug:: fine.**

**...now i'm all alone... **

**i'm all alone... there's no one here besides m-::is hit with a flying frying pan:: **

**review...**


	55. Part Two: Hurray!

Okay, I wanna try something new.  
POINT OF VIEWS :D!!!!

You guys gotta tell me how this works, I'm totally psyched.

Yay!

_I didn't think they'd actually be here... oh this sucks! Damnit legs, run faster run faster!! I can't keep the adrenaline levels up too much longer!  
_And it was true, my adrenaline surges only lasted, at most, fifteen minutes. And that was on a good day when I wasn't running for my life from Child-molester Sannin, Four-eyed skunk, and Chicken-ass.  
There was a chance of Giant Mutant Snake-thing coming after me as well.  
Thank goodness for skirts, without those, I'd never be able to keep this up; pants were too restraining and spandex is a load of shit. Seriously.  
So, as I was running for my life, I couldn't help but wonder what had driven me here... only to be reminded by the thought of bandaging scorch-marks and getting a shitload of splinters and clay off of my ass; something that, in any future or parallel universe that could ever possibly attempt to exist, would _never_ happen.

"Almost got her!" Kabuto had _attempted_ to jump at me, missing by about fifty feet. _Don't laugh don't laugh you'll never be able to keep this up running on half a lung. _

"Kabuto, you idiot, get up!" I turned, Orochimaru had kicked Kabuto off the floor.  
_Dear lord I'm losing it.  
_My adrenaline was pumping at a maximum; two minutes left.

And then, I saw light.  
"FREEDOM!" I ran outside, screaming, and immediately jumped off the ground to the trees encircling the humongous ditch. Thus began the you-only-have-one-second-to-decide decision.

Go back to Sasori and Deidara, and face total and complete mental death.  
Hell, I didn't even know where they were right now.  
I could run back to Akatsuki, but Itachi and Kisame wouldn't be there.  
Hidan and Kakuzu were off in another world too.  
_OH WAIT! I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!!! Off to find Hidan and Kakuzu, or in my terms, Jesus and Mr. Monopoly._

_HURRAY!! To the Hidden Cloud village!_

BOOM!  
"Where are you, Xeala? I'll find you no matter what..."  
Oh shit, Chicken-ass is outside.  
Well, let's play a little cat and mouse.  
I call mouse.  
And so do my fifty clones!!

I shadow-clone jutsuu-ed up fifty clones, and they scattered across the ditch.  
_Idiot, he's never gonna figure out I'm in the trees. He thinks I'll stick around and fight!_

_The trick isn't being the strongest, it's surviving!_

_RUN AWAY!!!!_

Thus, I proceeded to run away through the canopy, leaving Sasuke to pick a fight with 50 Xealas.

Haha!

Alright you guys, how was it?  
Terrible? Horrendous?  
Ugh.  
Oh, right, I haven't updated for a while, I realize, but that's because I've been working on some fiction of my own, and it's coming out really well.  
I hope you guys will read it if I get it published or put online or something.  
: D

Hurray!

Please review!  
I luv you all.

Rixxan is currently chopping onions and frying them.  
My eyes! The fire!It burrrrns!


	56. Part Two: Mine eyes of pain!

Okay no point of view for this chapter I just HAD to write it after I saw what happened in 388-389 and whatnot.  
P.S. Orochimaru is an idiot. We should all boycott his existence.  
Along with Sasuke.  
And Sasori. But Sasori is just a rapist so that's why I don't like him.  
Anyway now... IT IS TIME.

There are spoilers for the manga in this chapter. Beware!

POV again.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," I said to myself. My right hand was over my left eye, and both my eyes were hurting. Alot. This had happened a few times before.

You use Mangekyou too much, you use Amaterasu too much, you're gonna go blind. That's all Itachi would say when it happened.

But... when it did happen... It was weird.  
I didn't go blind, so to speak. Well, temporarily I did.

That is, before my eyes exploded. Itachi's eyes were normal, so he'd only go blind from using Mangekyou and Amaterasu, if he didn't pluck Sasuke's eyes out of his head before that... But no, Oh no, my eyes didn't work that way... I had to have exploding eyes. Oh boy, fun. And yes, pain was now feel-able. Damn Itachi, it was all his fault.

He was the one that... well no... it was willingly... but still! It was his fault, all his fault! It was his fault that I could feel pain.

And possibly also some sake's fault too.

Itachi had to make a list for each of the group leaders to warn them; Sasori (but he was stupid so Itachi gave the list to Dei), Hidan, Pein (on the off chance Pein didn't send me off with someone), and Zetsu instead of Tobi... Tobi was Madara wasn't he? He'd be evil and take my eyes... wouldn't he... that's what Itachi said before; why he hadn't given Madara the list instead of Zetsu.  
But anyway, I was still running. After three days, I think, I was looking for Hidan and Kakuzu. This was the direction of the blackmarket hit list place... Or so I hoped.

Running, running, running, running, all trees and plains. Sure it was a good thing there weren't any plains or open spaces, but... I was bored. Nothing to do no one to talk to.  
I hoped the trees would end soon.

Hell yeah! The trees stopped, building, hello! Wow, luck worked! I jumped out of the trees.  
"What the hell..." Hidan was cursing about the smell of the building, I could hear him though the entrance was far away.

"Hidan! Hey, come back her-**_GHHAAAAUGH!!_**" I fell down, clutching my eyes against my hands, crumpled on the ground like a dieing animal. I heard somewhat rushed steps (or rushed in Hidan's case,) coming over towards me. I knew something good would come of this. Someone was here for me.

But shitassmotherfuckingcuntcocksucker I was in some serious pain. Extreme, excruciating, and tiring pain.

"Xeala? Shit." Yep, Hidan was here. That was him. "What'd you do now you stupid whore..."

Haha, that was fun. I'm pretty entertained with hurting Xeala. Ah, it must be the sadist in me. Must be.

Alright, please review.  
I'll try to update alot over february break, if I can.  
Later!

Rixxan is currently playing monopoly.  
FUCK YOU BROTHERS THE BOARDWALK AND PARK PLACE ARE MIIIINE!!   
BWAHAHAHA!


	57. Part Two: Oh, wow

YESSSSSSSS. I got the new version of microsoft word. YEESSSSSSSSSSS. I've been partying all day. And my computer was rebooted so it's super fast…. (and I also installed a few chinese/japanese superhackerspeederuppers. :D Damn shit. Alright, I've been thinking; I think I'm gonna put a little bit of confusion into the upcoming chapters. Sorry about the slow updates. START NOW::Gun fires:: Hidan had done quite a few things before Kakuzu came out of his blackmail place. A- Cleaned Xeala up without gagging. But he still swore.

"Stop your fuckin' fidgeting! You're a fucking mess!" "It hurrrrrts… Hidan it hurrrts a lot!!!" "I don't fucking care stop your stupidass moaning and sit the fuck still!" "…You hate me…" Thus, he was cleaning up eye goo, blood, _and_ tears. (ewww eye goo.)

B- Tied a cloth around her eyes like a blindfold to prevent future up-chucking.

"Damnit I don't have any rags… or anything…""::whimper::" "NO NO DON'T CRY!" Hidan used a strip of his cloak to make the blindfold.

C- proceeded to give her a piggyback ride (how I miss them)

"I'm so tiiiiired."

"No."

"Hidan!"

"Don't eve-"

"…I'mgonnacry…"

"FINE!"

D- cursed Itachi for not taking her with _**him.**_

"Why didn't Itachi just take you… fuckin…"

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"OH LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL SKY THAT JASHIN HAS BLESSED US WITH…"

"That's what I thought."

_****_E- Counted the clouds a million billion times.

"One hundred and ninety six thousand four hundred twenty two…"

"ZZzzzZZ…"

"…Xeala?"

"Zzz….zzzz…zzz"

"YOU BETTER NOT HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP ON ME!!"

"Hunh? No no I'm not sleeping… I'm… awa-Zzzz..zzzZZZ…"

"Why…"

F- Yelled at Kakuzu

"KAKUZU YOU IDIOT YOU LEFT ME OUT HERE TO DIIIIE!"

"Oo…" ---that one is Kakuzu after getting yelled at for nothing.

Now, we return to the present. "Um… I was counting money." Kakuzu said, slightly confused."Oh, yes, money is s-o-o much fucking more important than fucking helping me you fucktard." Hidan growled, displaying the slumberer on his back for all to see.

"…where'd you find _that?_" Kakuzu asked, horribly confused."It hit me when it ran out of the woods." "!!!" "Yes, it's fucking shocking isn't it?""!!!" "Why are you not responding…" "I don't know, you're actually quite funny when you're angry." "I'm going to fucking kill everyone ever…""Keep telling yourself that, Hidan," Xeala whispered from his back. "You stupid kid I swear I'm going to kill you!" "You're giving me a piggy back ride…"

"…"Okay it was a short chapter but I updated a lot this week… (a lot from the normal)Please, review. I know last chapter was a sob-fest of boring. But hey, who cares , this one had some humor. At least to me it was funny… Idk what the humor levels of all of you people is…are… OH NO I'VE CONFUSED MYSELFThose who reviewed: I read the reviews and I must say I'm getting some ideas from them so I think my plot line is working out pretty well, I'm fleshing out the future of the story now. Rixxan is watching Selfish Love by Miyavi… Because it's awesome, and he's so hotttttttttt


	58. Part Two: Just die already!

I heard the last chapter was confusing. okay… did anyone read chapter 380 of the naruto manga? If so it shoulda been cake, but anyway it wasn't really confusing to begin with… maybe I'm just smart. or an idiot. Either or. anyway… I WANTED TO KICK SOME PEOPLE'S BUTTS SO HERE WE GO. "::mumble::"

"Wake up." Hidan hit Xeala on the head with a rock after throwing her off his back.

"Zzzz…"

"She sleeps like a freakin log."

"Except the log would feel you cutting through it with a scythe."

"No she gets the pain factor but not as much as we do…"

"I thought she doesn't feel pain."

"…" Hidan wasn't about to get into THAT.

"Okay…"

"HOLYFUCKINGSHITWHEREARETHEENCHILADAS!" Xeala yelled, awaking from a dream in which enchiladas apparently were missing.

".." ---that would be both Kakuzu and Hidan

"Well… that's interesting." Kakuzu said, rubbing his chin in a ponderous way.

"I'm so HATING YOU RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE FUCKTARD!!" Hidan hit Xeala in the head with another rock, then proceeded to wrestle-tackle her.

"…Some part of me wants to relentlessly chant 'Fight!' but on the account of I'm the only smart one left…"

Hidan and Xeala looked (or rather Xeala turned her bandaged-face in Kakuzu's direction) up from the head-lock-noogie Hidan had Xeala in while sitting on her back and growled.

"…"

"Who said YOU'RE the only smart one left!? HUNH? YOU BAG OF ROTTING BONES IM GONNA KILL YOU!!" Xeala attempted to scramble out from under a fully-grown Hidan who had a head-lock on her.

"Kakuzu I AM THE ONE WHO IS THE SMARTEST!"

"Where am I?"

"HIDAN YOU'RE CUTTING OFF THE BLOOD FLOW TO HER BRAIN LET GO NOW!!" Kakuzu yelled without doing anything to help. Hm… sarcasm?

"I don't care…" Hidan said, squeezing her neck a little tighter. Suddenly a thought came to him, a very scary thought, one of Itachi's fury after finding out that Hidan was the reason Itachi's girl was now braindead. Hidan released his hold on her.

Xeala's face then turned it's normal shade of tan-ish sasuke-itachi mix.

"Breathe… ::inhale:: breeeathe… ::exhale::"

Hidan and Kakuzu cursed while she wasn't looking. The chance of a lifetime (to save them a lifetime of headaches) was_ just_ missed….

"Wh-What's going on?"

"Nothing, don't you worry your pretty little head." Hidan said, hitting her on the head with another rock.

"Stop doing that, Hidan. Suffocating didn't make her braindead but you hit her enough and it will."

"Look, it worked."

"ZZzzz…"

"…Wow."

"Hm." Hidan started to think.

"We're not sacrificing her."

"…I wasn't thinking that…"

"Yes you were and you know it."

"…No…"

"Then what were you thinking?"

"…"

"…I withdraw that question."

"Good."

"So… Now what?"

"I don't know, what?"

"Woaa…"Xeala spoke in her unconsciousness.

"What th—" Kakuzu was cut short by Hidan hitting Xeala in the head with, yet another, rock.

"There now she's quiet." Hidan said, feeling accomplished.

**HAHA I TRICKED YOU ALL. **

**NOW GUESS WHERE WE ARE? **

**OUTSIDE THE PLACE WITH THAT JINCHUURIKI GIRL.**

-Five minutes later-

"Hello… is anyone here…?" Xeala was all alone. Well, she couldn't tell if she was all alone but judging on how no one was responding to her… she was alone. All alone. And blind.

Not a good combination.

"Tweet tweet." –that would be a bird

"Birdie?" Xeala's attention was caught, and she turned her head in the direction of the sound.

"Tweet-tweet-tweeeet!"

"Hello little birdie, how are you?"

"Tweet. Tweet-twee-tweet?"

"Very good, thank you."

-About who knows how long it takes Hidan to kill that cat girl-

"Yes, yes, I agree, there is a dramatic rise in the snake population lately. I feel we need to try a little more to conserve our rabbits in order to keep them from allowing the snakes to reproduce."

"Tweet tweet!"

Hidan and Kakuzu left the now-rubbled and destroyed village and started walking slowly back to where they had left Xeala in the woods.

--Twenty minutes later—

"That was the slowest mile I've eve-" Hidan paused mid-sentence when he saw Xeala talking to a little sparrow.

"Yes, there are definitely too many mice eating all the good berries and seeds, definitely. I feel your pain buddy, I am a vegetarian except for cow-steak." The bird seemed to understand her and tweeted.

"-r walked. Why is Xeala talking to a bird?"

"…I have no idea." Kakuzu commented on the issue.

"Thank you for your wonderful support into our conversation, I'll be sure to contact you next time I want to know the meaning of life."

"TWEET!" The bird flew away.

"Bye birdie!"

"Xeala, shut up!" Hidan chucked a rock at her, hitting her square between the eye sockets (since she currently lacks eyes). Xeala toppled over backwards and fell silent.

"Did you do it?" Kakuzu asked with some slight happiness and excitement in his voice.

"I think so…"

"I'm okay!" Xeala raised her hand to show she was still alive.

"…"

"…"

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE!" Hidan said, throwing another rock at her.

Silence.

"Still awa-" This time he just hit her pressure point.

"Finally."

Okay next chapter should get some fun stuff. Or not. IDK.


	59. Part Two: Awesome We get a bonus :D

AASOFUHSAFOUSHSOUHSF I GOT A NEW READER/REVIEWER.

Oh well. At least I have reviewers still. I HOPE.

Anyway out of my joy and into the story. idk how but people are confused??? Hunh? Well I don't really know but apparently you guys are confused… so if you know you could tell me how you are confused then that might help instead of just saying , " I'm confused." Yea, that would help.

It's shippuuden…. Have you read the manga at all? That's what I'm into now, the anime is too slow to keep up lol and I started this two years ago. Oh my goodness wow I'm getting old. ---is now 15.4 how old… 13.5 or something, that's when I started this whole thing. Maybe it was confusing because the last few chapters I've been going super quick through these chapters. But now I'm wasting my time on talking when I should be actually writing the story so here I'm writing now.

"Hiiiiiiiidan…"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"…you're not nice…" Xeala said.

At the time, Hidan and Xeala were debating is Hidan would ever buy Xeala something like food (she was starving at the moment so it just happened to come up) or anything at all. Hidan then pulled out some bread to eat and Xeala was pleading with him on giving her a little piece.

"Oh, all gone."

"No…" Xeala moaned and fell over sideways from her sitting position, hitting her head on the concrete. (They were outside the blacklist thing drop-off, waiting for Kakuzu to finish dropping off that guy Chiriku's body)

"Did tha-"

"Oww…"

"Yep."

Then, footsteps.

"Geeze, Kakuzu, you took long enough." Hidan said, turning around.

OHNO IT'S NOT KAKUZU!!

Hidan jumped out of the way of Asuma's attack. Xeala sprang to her feet at this, and jumped out of the way; to the roof!

"What's this?" Xeala asked curiously, watching as Kotetsu and Izumo sprung their sneak attack and stabbed Hidan through the sides.

"OO" Shikamaru just then noticed there was someone else on the roof.

"HOLY CRAP!!" Xeala said as she turned. It was Shikamaru! AFTER ALL THIS TIME…

"…do I know you…"

"…um…yes. Yes you do, Shikamaru Nara." Xeala said, and backed up a few feet.

Sadly, that few feet included the edge of the roof.

Xeala fell headfirst off the roof.

"That was odd." Shikamaru said to himself, seeing the cloud of dust from where that familiar-looking girl fell off the roof.

"OW!"

"…I feel like I know that person."

"My head…" Xeala had hit her head on the ground, too. After a few minutes to recooperate, she heard a sudden blast from the nearby building. Kakuzu had sploded the wall. Oh boy, now there was fighting. She then got up and slinked her way over to Hidan in the middle of the current battle. "What's going on?"

"We're fighting. Go away you fuckin idiot." Hidan said, stabbing himself in the leg. Xeala cocked her head to one side as the person he was apparently fighting fell clutching his leg.

"That looks… painful."

"It is… glorious… pain…" Hidan started shaking. (Did anyone else get the idea that he was having a little too much pleasure from the pain::COUGHCOUGH:: )

"You're weird."

"Yes…"

"What's going on here?!! Xeala get your ass over here!" Kakuzu yelled from the sidelines.

"Co-ming!" Xeala chimed.

"Xeala?!?" Simultaneously this name struck Kotetsu, Izumo, and Shikamaru.

".. Kakuzu look what you've done!" Xeala said, jumping behind him.

"The same Xeala that disappeared around three years ago during the Chuunin exams?"

Xeala waved from behind Kakuzu in order to affirm this claim.

"Well," Kotetsu consulted Izumo, "we've done more than just stop two of Akatsuki today, we've found a missing ninja as well…"

"But isn't it odd that she's traveling with them , or whatever she's doing she does know them pretty well by the looks of it…"

"…so… we stop her too?"

"I really don't know, she was kind of cool to us a long time ago…"

"But how many people do you think she's killed since then? She's with Akatsuki…"

"…hm… maybe… they kidnapped her to use as a-"

"Izumo. I don't think so. They're murderers, not prostitute-buyers."

"But even people like Orochimaru have Geisha-girls and things like that…"

"…Well I hope that would be the story here if we're actually going to not kill her."

"Fine we just stop her and kill them and then we can get extra-bonus points for 'saving' a missing Konoha ninja."

"Sure."

Izumo and Kotetsu stopped consulting one another and turned. There was no more Xeala.

"Kotetsu…"

"I didn't think the conversation would take that long…"

---about two miles away—

"noo…" Xeala stopped running through the trees and sat down to take a rest. She had absolutely no clue where she was going, and she didn't even know what direction she was going in.

"Any birds around?"

Silence.

"Nope. I hope I don't go back _there._"

--Two days later—

"Need… food…"

--Another day—

"Why are there no villages around!? I AM STARVING FUCKING ASSHOLES I WANT FOOD NOW!!" Xeala stomped her foot and punched the tree she was on.

The tree cracked in two vertically.

"Crap!" Xeala jumped off the tree as it split down the middle. The sound of it hitting the ground was followed… by someone's voice.

"Who's there?!"

"NO WAY." Xeala yelled in an anxious tone.

And then Xeala realized she had gone the wrong way.

The way back where she had started wandering.

"Oh…boy." Xeala said as she saw what was her last shadow clone (from like a million chapters ago) get poofed out of existence.

"That's the last… now to-"

"…" Xeala stepped back as someone looked up at her face, having destroyed all who-knows-how-many shadow clones.

"I knew it."

"No, you didn't." Xeala said, and spat in his (guess!) face. Then turned and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction.( Konoha was a better place to get dragged to than this.) So, she started running through the dense dark forest that you can't really see in since it's a forest and it's dark. But anyway, she was running. Quite quickly… and quite

And tripped over a giant boa constrictor.

"Goddamnit stupid snake I'm gonna eat you!" Xeala bit the snake.

Whether this was out of anger, hunger, or both, I know not.

But she did bite the snake's tail, that is true…

"I win." Sasuke said, standing up and walking over ( Xeala had only managed to run four feet before tripping).

"No, you don-" Xeala began to comeback Sasuke's claims that he had won as her ankle was taken from her by a slimy scaly tail. And she was hung upside down by her ankle. "Ouch fucking snake that's my tendon you pile of shit I'm going to roast you like a rat...(continue with more swears and stuff)" Xeala yell/muttered, biting the snake's tail and hitting it multiple times.

"Are we done here?" Someone else said.

"OH! GREAT!" Xeala yelled, crossing her arms. "What other fucktard's presence am I so fucking blessed to be in? Hm?!"

"Yes." Sasuke answered the voice, ignoring Xeala.

"I hate you…" She said, swinging back and forth in the air. She looked to the side to avoid a Sharingan-Sharingan confrontation. In doing so she looked straight into the face of the giant snake thing that was holding her up. She looked at it dead-on for a good two seconds before realizing what she was looking at. "HOLYFUCK!!!"

"…"

"…Fucking weirdo." Xeala said, turning back to him and making her Sharingan spin intimidating-ly.

"…You'll have to teach me how you do that." Sasuke said, cocking his head to the side.

"Maybe in hell, okay you fucking ass? What the hell is your fucking problem I mean seriously all you fucking do is complain complain complain! God why don't you just fucking do something and stop complaining for once you stupid ass!?"

".. "

"Yea you better not reply cuz I'll fucking tear you to shreds mentally and physically you fucking bastard I bet your parents hated you so much they probably never even liked you! You're such a stupid asshole Itachi was so right to leave you to fucking suf-"

Sasuke smacked her across the face.

"Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about." He glared at her, horribly angry.

"Oh, I think I do," Xeala hissed, glaring at him.

"No, you don't."

"HO, fuck, yes! I do! You're the one who doesn't understand things stupid ass."

"Then if you're so smart why did Itachi kill everyone in my fucking clan except me?"

"…"Xeala looked away, not about to tell him the answer.

"Yeah, you're not as smart as you thought, hunh?"

"Shut. Up. Sasuke." Xeala said, covering her face with her hands to combat a headache.

"Maybe I won't. You've always been a bitch, maybe you should hear some bitching now too!?"

"No, just shut up. Avoid Itachi, never come into contact with him. Ever. Just… go away."

"…why."

"Cuz he'll fucking tear you to shreds! There's only one thing that will stop that. You stupid ass." Xeala said, clenching her fists.

"And what do you think that is?"

"Me killing you first!" Xeala growled, and grabbed his shirt, throwing him up against the side of the snake's tail, sending shocks to it's brain and it released her out of it's confusion. Sasuke recovered quickly, though, and stood ready to fight some more. "Just get out of my way and let me go!" Xeala yelled, readying herself to shoot some fire and jutsus and stuff at him.

"No! Itachi can't have you." Sasuke said.

"Oo… freak!" Xeala fired a Phoenix Fireball jutsu at him before jumping down and sliding off the branch, jumping to another below her and continuing to do so until she hit the ground running.

Haha. Sasuke sucks. Still.  
Woohooo.  
Review please. hopefully this wasn't confusing.


	60. Part Two: I gotta stop writing Part Two

:D look who decided to update!  
um, p.s., if anyone reading this decides. Oh I like that story I think I'll steal it, don't even try.  
You know who you are.

"La…tida…" Xeala hummed a song in her head as she walked along the forest floor, dragging a large carcass behind her.  
Yes, Xeala had gone hunting in spite of Hidan not feeding her. Grizzly bear hunting to be exact.  
After a while, she came across a dead tree, and tossed the carcass onto it as if it were nothing at all, and proceeded to lighting the dead tree on fire.  
Yey for food!  
Xeala sat back against the a rock and looked up. She poked at the carcass, then got up and walked around, thinking of something to do.  
"How much farther is it?" A Konoha ninja said, about a quarter of a mile off, with some other ninjas from Konoha.  
"Aw naw! No way! I just got out of that mess!" Xeala grabbed her hair violently and slammed her head against a tree. "Put the fire out put the fire out!" Xeala then attempted to do a water jutsuu and put out the fire.  
Epic. Fail.  
"Nyyyyyaaaahhhhhhh!" Xeala looked up at a group of ninjas high in the trees staring down at her.  
"Hey, that's an Akatsuki uniform, isn't it!!" One of them said.  
"Oh, no." Xeala murmured to herself. Obviously they had been sent by Konoha to try and help the other Konoha losers. "Mm… run away!" Once more, Xeala took off running.  
"HEY COME BA-"  
"Chill… we got other things to worry about."  
"Right."  
The Konoha ninjas disappeared.

A few minutes later, Xeala looked out from behind a tree, then stealthily made her way over to the fire, and blew up her dinner.  
"I hate you all." She growled over her shoulder, walking in the direction of the nearest town that she could get food at, fingering the money-bag she'd stolen from Kakuzu while he and Hidan were sleeping. "Da-yumn. This bitch is heavy." Xeala said, holding the money-bag up in front of her face to read.  
**Do not touch this bag, Xeala, I will kill you. **Xeala looked back over her shoulder. "You're already dead."

So, yeah, walking is boring. :skips ahead:

"Holy fuck this forest is bigger than I thought."  


Oh, still not there yet. :skips more:

"I give up, I'm going to find Tachi-kun."  
(Are you serious, Xeala? I skipped all that and you're going to find Itachi? Great, Greeeat.  
Just. Fucking. Great.  
Maybe I should kill you to--

HAHA )

**So… eventually…**  
So, somewhere a day or so later, Xeala saw Itachi walking calmly. In silence. Looking completely tranquil and not worried at all.  
"ITACHI!!" Xeala screamed, charging at Itachi from behind and hugging him as tight as she possibly could, "I missed you so much! It's been horrible I had to go with Sasori and Deidara they tried to rape me and then I got lost but then I found Hidan and Kakuzu but they were busy killing people and stuff so then we got ambushed by Konoha people and then I ran off and found you."  
"Ho-ly--fuck--"Itachi coughed through the death-grasp. There goes his silence. Xeala let go.  
"Do you have any food?"  
"Give me… a minute…" Itachi said, hands on his knees, breathing deeply.  
"I haven't eaten in a week." Xeala sat on the ground, pulling her legs to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. Itachi turned his head.  
"And they put up with you?"  
"Yeah, Hidan wouldn't feed me anything. I kept asking but damn he's a stubborn ass," Xeala said boredly, "I swiped a Kakuzu-bag-o'-money." She untied the bag from her waist and handed it up to Itachi.  
"That's wonderful. I presume they're dead?"  
"Yep."  
"Sasori and Deidara?"  
"Dei's alive."  
"Mm… Konoha's getting… anxious." Itachi said, sitting down next to Xeala.  
"I'm so bored, how come Pein won't give you and I a mission _together_?"  
"Because he thinks we'd just have sex the entire time rather than actually go complete a mission."  
"That's silly." Xeala said, looking at the ground.  
"So are a lot of things."  
"I painted my nails black." Xeala said, holding up her hand without looking away from the ground.  
"Un-huh. Very… pretty." Itachi said, leaning back and getting comfy.  


"Thanks." Xeala replied, staring down at the ground still.  
"Are you okay?" Itachi asked.  
"Yea, I'm fine."  
"Xeala."  
"No, seriously, I'm fine."  
"Are you really?"  
"No."  
"So why did you lie in the first place?"  
"I don't know."  
"You do a lot of not-knowing."  
"That is something I know."  
"Aren't you cold?"  
"Kinda. I modified the kimono some more."  
"I noticed."  
"Mm…" Xeala sighed and leaned onto Itachi. "It's so boring without you."  
"You think? I've been walking around the world with nothing to do for the past few weeks."  
"That sucks."  
"I know."  
"I'm going to sleep."  
"…You do realize it's the middle of the day… right?"  
"Yes. I do." She turned onto her side and curled up next to Itachi.

"What?"  
"You're going to freeze." Itachi said, looking down at her.

"…" Xeala kicked Itachi, "no."  
"Damnit."  
"Not now. Find a spa."  
"Got it," Itachi said, picking up Xeala.  
"What're you doing?"  
"Finding a spa. You looted Kakuzu, and knowing him, there's enough packed into it that we can go anywhere."  
"Fuck yes." Xeala said sleepily, curling up in his arms to sleep.  
"Well, there will be some of that going on," Itachi said provocatively.  
"You're bad." Xeala whispered through her sleepyness.  
"I know." Itachi said, and Xeala finally seemed to fall asleep. "And you're silly."

"I heard that." Xeala was still, obviously, awake.  
"Go to sleep so I can whisper naughty things to you." Itachi said, smirking.  
"You're so bad."  


"Yes."  
"I love you." Xeala smiled and closed her eyes, sleeping for real now.  
After a few moments of silence, and when Itachi was sure she was asleep and that no one was around, he whispered as quietly as he could, "I love you too."

**Awww.  
Love.**

**I should destroy it.  
**XP

Maybe, I'm not sure. But hey, I updated, right?  
Could you guys do me a favor and review? That'd be sweet.  
See ya 


	61. I'm done writing Part Two now

:D Hey again! I'm in a generous writing mood and it's 12:29am right now. I am really happy people liked that last chapter… I haven't done too much romance latida mushy crap before…  
I hope it was good. I think Itachi would be a great lover if he actually had one. He's very devoted, you know?  
Anyway, I'll stop talking and start writing the story.

"Wake up," Itachi whispered into Xeala's messy hair, tired of walking and carrying her, definitely not about to keep walking when it was past midnight and sleep is necessary in order to sustain human life, and put her down gently.

"No…It's too early… five more minutes…" Xeala said before curling up to go back to sleep.

"Oh, really? You'd go to sleep rather than sit with me under the stars?" Itachi asked in a placid tone, and Xeala turned to look up at him.

"I'll sit with you if… you stay with me forever."

"You've got a deal." Itachi said, pulling her toward him and breathing in her sweet scent.  
(remember Kabuto sniffed her clothes and told Sasuke she smelled like roses and then Sasuke agreed? That was a while ago… but yeah.)

"Thanks," Xeala looked down, secretly clutching his necklace around her neck, and secretly hoping that he could beat the inevitable. He was Itachi, wasn't he? He could do anything! Except beat Xeala in a real fight. Hadn't… hadn't Sasuke… beaten Xeala?  
No, no, he cheated. Itachi would have seen around that. It was just Xeala being a klutz. She was a silly girl, it was a silly mistake. "If I got pregnant while I was gone, what would you do?"

"Xeala..." Itachi asked sternly, obviously concerned.

"No, I'm just asking… I got in some trouble and barely got out of it."

"Tell me, then."

So she started.

"Well…when Sasori and Dei were weird and tried to rape me or whatever, they didn't, but I ran off and got sort of lost… I… sorta… found someone's lair-thing…" She paused for a minute, and Itachi took the words out of her mouth.

"…Orochimaru."

"Yeah. His place. I found one of them at least. I was kinda just sitting there and… well… Sasuke found me and I was high on some cannabis so I was completely tripped up… and he kinda kidnapped me." She had blatantly lied to help Itachi think she was really only caught off guard from being high on cannabis.



"…you did cannabis without me?"

"Haha… yeah… but anyway, while I was in there, I woke up and Sasuke was talking to that Kabuto fag and he was like Kabuto I need a lot of booze and for you to leave this room, I've only got a few months left and I'm making my legacy here and shit so I was pretty convinced someone was trying to knock up someone else if you get what I'm saying, so then I flipped on him and took off and eventually found my way out of that horrible place." Without realizing it, Xeala had started shaking involuntarily, and was having a hard time trying to stop.

"Xeala, for you… I _will_ kill him." Itachi's hand found it's way to hers around the necklace, easing her shaking.

All Xeala could think, all she was at that moment, was a question. One she knew the answer to, one she couldn't ask, one that shook her to the very core.

"_Can you?" _

"Xeala, you okay?"

"I already told you," she lied through her teeth, "I'm fine." She planted a kiss on his lips.

"Good," Itachi said, smirking as he kissed her back and pulled her onto himself.

Haha so how much did I just spoil the plot for you? How much? Totally.

So, review please. I know, I know, it wasn't happy at all. I'm sorry, I'm horribly sorry. Well, it was a little happy. I guess.

(P.S. How uncomfortable would it be to have sex on the ground in the middle of a forest? I'm thinking pretty umcomfortable…)


	62. Bye

IT'S AMAZING. I KNOW. I UPDATE SO MUCH MORE THAN USUAL NOW.  
THIS IS INSAAANE.  
:D

Morning came, eventually. By that time, though, Xeala was completely out, deader than a broken lightbulb. Itachi was sitting under the tree, tired of waiting for her to wake up, and had resorted to walking his hand up and down her body in an attempt to creep her out of her sleep. A few times, it had seemed that she woke up. Too bad Xeala talks in her sleep, and moves, and can have complete conversations with people. (I do that… that's the only way I would have ever thought about it)  
"Hey, you have to wake up. No more games." Itachi said, pressing a finger harshly into her abdomen.

"Hitler…" Xeala swatted at him, grabbed his arm, and curled up around it.

"…I've been reduced to a teddy-bear," Itachi mumbled, trying to pull his arm out of her clutches. "Wait. Did she say Hitler?" Itachi looked cock-eyed at Xeala, having no idea what was going on in her mind.

Let's take a journey to Xeala's dream… (that's the magical journey wooosh) 

"HEIL XEALA!" A crowd of people stood under a pedestal where Xeala was standing, probably four hundred feet up. Yes, Xeala dreams of world domination.

"And now, my people," Xeala started, holding her hand up to her chest in a fist, "I'm going to take over the entire universe!" Xeala laughed triumphantly, and the crowd below her began applauding. Wow. That was a captivating twelve-word speech. Truly captivating.

Suddenly, the crowd turned. There was a dark figure walking out of a building.

"Aha, my foe has finally decided to face me! Come, followers! Let us defeat him quickly!" Xeala hopped off of the pedestal, down four hundred feet to the ground. Because in Xeala's dreams, shit like that happens. Smirking, she stalked her way to the dark-cloaked figure. Xeala growled under her breath as she looked into the dark hood. The figure removed his hood, and Xeala screamed, taking a step back. Suddenly, the entire crowd that had worshipped her disappeared, and a new audience appeared behind her foe.

"Heil..." The figure was not her foe. It was Itachi.

"I…Itachi?!" Xeala choked on air, hands going up to her tightening chest. Itachi grinned, and the next thing she knew, Itachi was gone, and there stood Sasuke.



"No no no no no!" Xeala collapsed onto her knees, head almost on the ground in anguish. The dream had been going so well! So well! Why did he have to appear now?! She had almost won! Almost! Xeala started shaking, clutching her arms so frightened that her nails drew blood. The dream-Sasuke grabbed her shoulders and threw her onto her back. Xeala couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, could only look, petrified, to the point of the panic attack she was having. The dream-Sasuke grinned, Xeala's eyes teared up, and Sasuke bent down over her.

"Don't wake up," dream-Sasuke said, and pressed his body against hers.

"Xeala!" Itachi grabbed her shoulders in real life, seeing that she was digging gashes into her arms and breathing heavier than ever before. Her eyes opened, and she screamed, slapping Itachi across the face. He threw her back a little. "Xeala?"

"Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away." Xeala curled up into a fetal position, her hands about to rip her hair out of her head. Itachi stared at her cross-eyed. What the hell was going on? Only little kids have nightmares.

"Xeala… It's okay." He tried to put his hand on her, and she flinched away, eyes full of wild fear and rage.

"Stay away from me, you're all bad, all bad, all bad…" Xeala started shaking, almost convulsing. A few glistening tears streamed down her face, falling into the dirt. Itachi withdrew in wonder of what could have done this to her.

"Xea-

"Stay away!" Xeala screamed, her voice broke, her body lurched away. She fell to the side, making wounds in the dirt in mental pain.

"…I'm going to go sit over by that tree. When you calm down, do something normal." Itachi said, and got up, then walked over to another tree.

"I'm normal, I'm perfectly normal, I'm perfectly perfect as a matter of fact," Xeala told herself, her face twitching.

"Yes, sure you are." Itachi murmured, sitting down against the other tree. Out of nowhere, he pulled out his straw… hat… um… thing (with the bells on it), then tilted it downward and went to sleep.

Minutes later, Xeala looked over to him. Itachi was asleep, he never breathed that way when he was awake. Sighing, Xeala got up, completely normal, and walked over to Itachi's sleeping self. Quickly and silently, Xeala searched Itachi's cloak for a kunai, and upon getting one, she walked away.



Another cut, dig, and change procedure later, Xeala brushed off her clothes. Now, she was wearing very, very light acid-washed jeans and a black t-shirt, and black skate shoes. She walked back over to Itachi, and looked at him softly. Lightly kissing him, Xeala turned and ran. No point in staying with people who will die, right? She never stayed with people when theyh were going to die. They didn't need her moping around. But… leaving Itachi? Right before he was about to begin all of his fighting with Sasuke? No, no. It was better to leave. Leaving would make this all easier. They'd be fighting if she was there or not, but if she was there, there'd be more motive, wouldn't there? They'd be even more frustrated with each other it would make everything worse than it was.

Xeala looked back over her shoulder and smiled, at least Itachi would be out of his misery. Sasuke… he'd be alive, though, wouldn't he? He'd come looking for her? Xeala sighed, flipping her hair over her shoulder, and brushing her hands through her locks. She looked at her hair; the ends of her hair were black.

"Already?" Xeala sighed heavily, looking up at the sky, "a little more time, please."

Xeala swallowed hard, and started walking. How many months this time? How long did she have before it wasn't just…  
well… what could she do? Stop being alive?  
Shaking her head, Xeala looked up towards the hills, and held her arms, cold.

"I'm ready for a vacation."

Huzzah. Bitch. Look at that! Another chapter!! You guys must be so proud of me. I'm almost thinking I have a slight plot. Need more developing though…  
thinkthinkthink.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.

P.S. world.  
I've received many warnings lately from fellow fanficitoners.  
It seems that some of the people who have been reading this story have also been found guilty of copying other fanfictioners stories _word for word. _If for any reason ANYONE thinks they can get away with that, here's a little reminder.  
My story has over 12000 hits last I checked. Months ago.  
This story has also been up for a very, very, very long time.  
AKA YEARS.  


Don't try pulling any shit.  
Cuz if you do… well.  
You can most likely say goodbye to fanfiction.

Got it?

BTW.

REVIEW BITCHESXXXXXXBI!


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